"H-h-h-hyung?"

They all perked up, and had to stop themselves from clambering all over him.
"Y-yes Jungkook. It's us. Hyungs are here." Jin said, holding his hand a little tighter.
"W-w-w-w-what h-h-h-h-h-happened...t-t-t-to m-m-me?" Jungkook stuttered out.
"You don't remember?" Namjoon asks, standing at the end of the bed.
"I-I-I-I-I... r-r-r-Remember.... j-j-j-j-j-j-j-j-Jihoon...." he stuttered out, a single tear sliding down his cheek.
"I'm so sorry Jungkook, that that happened to you." Namjoon said, his voice wavering.
"W-w-w-what h-h-h-h-h-happened t-t-to h-h-him?" Jungkook asked, feeling very fatigued.
"I'm sorry kookie I don't know. But if they still kept him at that school after what he did to you, then I think it's safe to say you're never going back to that school again." Namjoon said, very certainly. Kookie just let out a sigh, feeling to exhausted to respond.

~a few weeks later~

Kookie was still in hospital, however he was doing much better. He's internal bleeding had stopped, and he was able to walk around now. But it's safe to say as far as his mental health goes, it's like he's taken one step forward and two steps back. In a different direction. Now he felt a constant feeling of anxiety. He already did before, but now it felt so much worse. Every moment he felt like he was in fear of his life. It was suffocating. He was having full blown panic attacks several times a day. It was exhausting to say the least. And all the panicked breathing didn't help his wounds to heal. He's popped several stitches during his panic attacks. That definitely made the scarring much worse. He would be living with those scars for the rest of his life, no doubt about it. That didn't help his self confidence, that's for sure.
All of them made sure to visit him everyday, for as long as possible, but unfortunately they still had to continue with work, ready for when Jungkook is ready to work again, though at this rate, it doesn't seem like it would be any time soon.
They were all visiting, but they noticed, Jungkook was especially quiet today. He wasn't usually the loudest, but he would join in their conversations usually. But today, whenever they asked him a question, he would just shrug. He looked distant, staring off into space all the time. All of them saw what was coming, and they weren't looking forward to it. Last time Jungkook was this quiet and distant, he spiralled into a horrible panic attack, he couldn't breathe in the slightest, he was having hallucinations of Jihoon attacking him again, and he ended up passing out from the lack of oxygen. It scared everyone. Jin dismissed himself to "go to the bathroom" but in reality he went to go find Jungkooks doctor. He knew something wasn't right, and he needed to make sure they could stop this panic attack from happening, or at least stop it from escalating as far as last time. He wondered through the halls anxiously, wanting to find this doctor before Jungkook spiralled, with just the other 5 in there with him.

Finally, he bumped into him.
"Doctor! I'm sorry to bother you, but Jungkook's being really quiet today. We think he might have another bad panic attack. Is there any way you can help us stop it before it happens?" Jin pleads.
"Unfortunately no. But I can try and stop it from getting bad, but you can't really stop a panic attack. If you start to notice him spiralling just press the call button and we'll be there as soon as possible, ok?"
"Thank you doc." Jin said, ready to dash back and make sure everything was ok.
"No problem."

Jin got back at lightning speed, and was glad to see that everything was calm. Well, as calm as it could be. Jungkook was still staring into space though. Jin wanted to keep quiet about it. Not wanting to point it out incase it sent him into the inevitable panic attack, but unfortunately for him, Yoongi spoke before he did.
"You're rather quiet today kookie. Is something up?" Yoongi asked carefully. Jungkook continued to stare at nothing, and just shook his head.
"Are you sure? You know you have to tell us if somethings wrong. That way we can help you and avoid things going out of control." Yoongi said, bracing himself for an explosion. But it didn't happen. Jungkook just sniffed, and everyone looked on fearfully. Was he going into another panic attack? Surprisingly no. It wasn't a panic attack per se. But it wasn't fun, nonetheless.

He started sobbing, harsh, horrible sobs, he wasn't gasping or struggling to breathe and wheezing, like he would during a panic attack. He was just sobbing. Relentlessly sobbing. Everyone looked around at each other, unsure of what to do. Should they call a nurse? Should they comfort him? Namjoon stood up and carefully lowered himself onto the edge of Jungkooks bed.
"It's ok kooks. Just take your time, and tell us what's wrong." He said softly, his eyebrows creased with concern as he watch Jungkook sobbing into his hands. Everyone felt so clueless. They had no idea what to do.
"Do you wanna write it down? Would that be easier?" Namjoon suggested, and Jungkook nodded. Jin passed over the whiteboard they'd bought for kookie, back when he was still stuttering from being so weak. Jungkook took it, and started writing, trying hard to see through his tears and not get tears all over the whiteboard. In the end, all he wrote was: I want this to stop.
"Want what to stop, kookie?" Namjoon asked. Jungkook rubbed out the old words with his fist, replacing them with the words: this, these panic attacks, just everything.
The poor thing. He'd had enough of dealing with panic attack after panic attack, all the stress and torment and trauma he'd been through. He wanted to just take it all away and go back to the happy child he once was. He just wanted to be happy. With that thought, he broke down even more, collapsing forward onto the whiteboard. Jimin stood up, wondering over to the bed. He climbed under the covers, and embraced jungkook in a tight hug. The tightest hug he'd ever given. All the others watched with tears falling from their eyes. Yoongi had ran away to hide in the bathroom. Tae and Hoseok were resting on each other's shoulders, and jin just sat, subtly wiping away his tears, and the whole room was silent, just the sounds of sobs were the only thing that could be heard. When Jimin pulled away, he wiped away the maknaes tears, rubbing circles on his back and said with a shaky voice "it will pass. I promise. One day it will be back to normal. One day you'll be happy again. I promise you. So don't give up on me, ok kookie?" Jungkook nodded, and wiped away the rest of his tears, and the others started to calm down too.
"Where'd Yoongi go?" Namjoon asked, having not noticed Yoongi leaving the room in the midst of all the emotion.
"He must have run off to the bathroom or something" Jimin said.
"I'll go look for him." Namjoon said, leaving the others in the room with kookie.

Namjoon wondered the halls. He looked in the nearest bathroom but he wasn't there. I hope he hasn't wondered off outside Namjoon thought as he walked to the next closest bathroom, still no sign of him anywhere. He eventually bumped into one of the nurses they knew.
"Sorry, you haven't happened to have seen Yoongi anywhere, have you?" He asked.
"No, why?" The nurse said.
"I think he ran off. Jungkook got upset and that must have made him upset. He tends to run and hide when he's sad."
"Oh, well if I see him I'll send him back to the room." The nurse offered.
"Ok thanks." Namjoon said, before speed walking off again in a desperate attempt to find Yoongi.
He got to the last set of bathroom stalls in the whole hospital, still no Yoongi. He walked in, all the stalls were open. No one was in there. Namjoon was starting to stress now. Everyone's attention was always on Jungkook, but Yoongi wasn't the most mentally stable either. Who knows what he was doing, out of the sights of the others.

————
Yoongi was getting uncomfortable. He couldn't bare the sight of Jungkook sobbing in front of him. He knew he had to get out. He just stood up and left. Just like that. He walked through the halls, with no idea where he was heading. He just wondered aimlessly, gripping at his hair and wiping away the odd tear that slipped out. He just continued to wonder, with no rhyme or reason. He was sent into a panic, breathing heavily, not even bothering to collect his tears anymore. He was just wondering around, like a crazy person. Suddenly he was stopped.
"Sir? Are you ok?" A passing nurse asked, seeing the extensive tear stains on his face, and his breathless state. Yoongi was too paralysed to answer. He just froze where he was.
"Are you ok? Do you need any help? Or assistance?" The nurse asked. Yoongi backed up to the wall, and slid down the wall into a crouch. The nurse looked around awkwardly. This man clearly needs help, but she didn't know what to do. She wasn't accustomed to dealing with mentally ill patients. Nonetheless, she tried her best.
"Can you speak to me please, sir? I want to help you." Alas, Yoongi was stubborn, his mouth stayed shut.
"Do you wanna come with me? I'll take you to a room where you you can have more privacy. How about that?" Yoongi nodded, and stood up, following the nurse down the hall and into a private room.
"Just stay here for a bit, I'll go get you some help, ok?" Yoongi just looked down at the floor, fiddling with his hands.
I hope the others are ok. Yoongi thought. The reason he ran away was because he knew he would break down like this. He didn't want the others to see him in this state. He wanted to let Jungkook keep the attention, cause he deserved it more, right?
The nurse left to go get help, and Yoongi quickly scanned the room, until he found the perfect corner. He got up and crouched in that corner. Hiding behind his arms again. Before long he heard the door open again, followed by the sounds of confusion.
"He was here a second ago?"
"He is here..." the doctor says as she notices Yoongi crouched in the corner. The same doctor who took care of Jungkook all those weeks ago, in the mental hospital.
She walked over and crouched in front of him.
"Can you lift your head up please, sir?" She asks, and Yoongi strategically lifts his head just enough so only his eyes are seen.
"All the way, please." She asks again, but Yoongi shook his head. He's too stubborn.
"I need to see your face so I can help you. At least put your arms down." She says, reaching for his arm to pull it down, but Yoongi snaps. He quickly slaps her hand away, before going right back to the position he was in before.
"Ok, I won't touch you, but can you please just lift your head up a little more?" Yoongi just shakes his head again.
"I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to do. Just please lift your head so I can see you properly. I'll wait."
Yoongi scowled at her. He rolled his eyes, before lifting his head up and resting it on his arms.
"Thank you." The doctor said softly with a warm smile.
"How about you come and sit on the bed? I'm sure it's more comfortable." Yoongi shook his head and once again, buried his face in his arms.

Suddenly they were interrupted by someone coming in.
"Oh, uh sorry to interrupt doctor but we need this room for a patient." The nurses eyes glanced over to the frozen figure crouched in the corner.
"...Yoongi?" Yoongi stares at her with wide eyes. "Your friends were looking for you..." Yoongi continues to stare, and the doctor looked over to Yoongi, and then back at the nurse.
"He ran away cause he was upset." The nurse said, remembering what Namjoon had told her.
"Do you know what about?" the doctor asked.
"His friend who is admitted was upset. Apparently he runs away whenever he's upset."
"Ok, that's helpful, thank you." The doctor said before turning back to Yoongi. "Shall we move, we need to free up the room. Do you think you can move? We'll try and find another room, ok." Yoongi stays crouched in the corner, frozen still.
"Do you wanna go back to your friends?" The doctor asked, and for the first time, Yoongi spoke.
"No. No. No." he said, shaking his head.
"Ok, ok you don't have to. We'll find another room, ok?" Yoongi shyly hid behind his arms again, just his eyes poking over the top.
"Come on, let's go find somewhere else." The doctor prompted, and Yoongi complied, only cause he had to. He stood up and followed the doctor through the halls to another room.
The nurse was left in the doorway of the room, wondering what to do. She decided she should go back to Jungkooks room and at least tell the others that Yoongi was ok.

———————

Namjoon wondered back to the room, praying that he would walk in to find Yoongi there. His prayers weren't heard though.

"Yoongi hasn't come back yet?" He asked, scanning the room for any signs of him.
"No, couldn't you find him?" Jin asked, and Namjoon shook his head, running his hand through his hair.
"It's ok joon, he's an adult. He can make his own way back. I'm sure he's fine. He just needed some time alone that's all." Namjoon nodded, trying so hard to believe him, but he couldn't help but be worried.
"Are you ok now kookie?" He asked, trying to take his attention away from Yoongi, before he started panicking.
"Yeah, I'm better now." Kookie replied. And Namjoon nodded.
Not long after, the nurse came in again.
"I found Yoongi." She said, and all of them stood up, a little confused that Yoongi still wasn't there.
"He clearly wasn't doing very good, but he's being taken care of so don't worry." They were all still worrying though.
"What happened?" Namjoon asked urgently.
"I don't know, but I went to go check that a room was free for another patient and saw him with a doctor and a nurse. He was crouched in the corner. They've taken him to another room now." She said, looking at all the worried faces looking back at her.
"Is he ok?" Jimin asked, clearly very worried.
"Well, he's in safe hands, so I wouldn't worry. I'm sure he's fine."
She left, leaving the others in a worried silence.
"Well at least we know he's safe." Jin said with a sigh.

———————

As they walked through the hallways, Yoongi kept looking down, fiddling with his hands. He got a pang of pain in his chest as a thought popped into his head. He looked down at his arms, then at his chipped nails. He stopped walking, his breathing speeding up. The nurse and the doctor also stopped, looking back at him.
"Sir are you ok?" The doctor asked. But Yoongi's mind was too flooded with thoughts. He had flashbacks of that day in the ambulance with Jungkook. He was telling Jungkook to stop, yet he was having the same urges. He shakily pulled up the sleeve on his left arm and just looked at it. The doctor already knew what was going on.
"Sir... Yoongi... I know what you're thinking. You don't have to do that. Just pull your sleeve down, and follow me to the room, ok? You're safe with us. Don't worry. Just take a deep breath, let's carry on. It's not far I promise." She said, and Yoongi looked at her with glossy eyes, and nodded.

As soon as they found another room Yoongi dashes straight to the corner and hides.
"Yoongi, come and sit on the bed, it's more comfortable." The doctor says, but Yoongi doesn't move. The other nurse that was with them the whole time, takes takes the blanket of the bed and puts it around his shoulders. Yoongi shuffles and repositions himself so that the blanket is wrapped securely around his shoulders.
"Do you think you can talk to me now? About what's going on in that mind of yours?" Yoongi sat for a while. He really wanted to talk. He really did. Yet at the same time he was too afraid to even say a word. In the end he just gave up, and shook his head as it hung low.
"Well put it this way. Somethings clearly wrong. I know you were thinking of self harm back there. This is something serious. If you let us, I can take you back to my office and I can help you. Get you a diagnosis and treatment for it."
"I already have a diagnosis." Yoongi interrupted out of nowhere. "Depression, ocd, social anxiety."
"Well, that answers a lot. Has anything been done about this diagnosis?" She asks.
"Nope. I tried therapy. Didn't work. I tried medication. Didn't work either. Just made me feel empty."
"Well, if you let us, we can help you. We can get you some different medication, try some different therapy." The doctor suggested. But Yoongi shook his head.
"I'm ok. It's just, it's been hard recently. Jungkooks so ill and he's always having panic attack and it's just hard to witness. Especially since I know exactly what it's like." The doctor heard the name "Jungkook" and it sparked a memory in there somewhere.
"Sorry, did you say jungkook?" Yoongi looks confused, and nods.
"Jeon Jungkook?" Yoongi nodded again.
"He's here?" She asked, and Yoongi nodded once again.
"He got beat up. At school. Badly. Been here for a few weeks now recovering. Physically he's better, but now he keeps having terrible panic attacks several times a day." The doctor looked down at her watch.
"I've got time, take me to him. I can help." Yoongi hid behind his blanket.
"I don't want to go back. I don't want the others to see me like this." Yoongi's voice started shaking. The poor thing was about to start crying.
"Why not? Do you not trust them? Do you think they'll get mad at you or something?" The doctor asks.
"No... I don't want them to be sad about me. Jungkooks the one who needs the attention right now more than me. I don't want to take the attention away from him." A tear managed to escape and slip down his face.
"I don't know, it seems like you could do with some attention too. It's certainly not normal to look at your arm and feel the urge to harm it."
"Yeah but I'm just in a bad place right now it'll go away."
"Even in a bad place, it's not normal to want to harm yourself. Or at least it's not a good thing. It needs to change." Yoongi sat with that thought for a while. In the end, he wordlessly stood up, chucked the blanket back on the bed, and went out the door, towards Jungkooks room.

——————

Their heads perked you when they heard the door open, and their eyes widened once they saw who opened it.
"Yoongi!" Namjoon said urgently, and hurriedly ran towards him, nearly tripping over everyone's legs. "Are you ok?"
Of course, in classic Yoongi style, he just shrugged and joined the others on the sofa at the side of the room.
"Maybe it's best if I speak to you outside." The doctor said to Namjoon. Jungkooks eyes widened even more when he realised he recognised that voice from somewhere.

Namjoon followed the doctor outside and closed the door behind him.
"What happened with Yoongi?" He asked simply.
"I just sat down with him for a bit. One of the nurses found him in the hallway in distress, so we pulled him aside into a private room. But I need to ask you, are you aware of his diagnoses?"
"Oh, uh, you mean his depression and stuff?" Namjoon asked.
"Yes. Exactly that. I was suggesting to him that he should try therapy or medication again."
"Really? He's been ok recently though. It's just what happened with Jungkook that through him off track a little bit but-"
"But he could keep getting worse if nothing is done. Anyway. I just wanted to make sure you knew. He's very secretive about his emotions, huh?" Namjoon nodded, and headed back into the room, and was surprised when the doctor followed him into the room.
"Hi Jungkook." She says with a smile, as she goes to stand at the end of his bed. "We meet again."
Jungkook wasn't sure how to feel. In his mind she signified all the bad memories he had of being in the mental hospital, of all that struggle, and yet at the same time he was somewhat glad to see her.
"I hear you've been having frequent panic attacks. I came with the hopes that I may be able to help you with that."
"Ummm..." Jungkook said shyly. He looked over at Jin, then down at his whiteboard. Jin noticed that eye movement, and passed him his whiteboard.
Yes, please help.
He wrote on his whiteboard and turned it around to the doctor.
"Ok, I'll try. You were beat up, am I right." Jungkook nodded uncomfortably. His breathing audibly picked up and he gripped the whiteboard tightly in his hands.
"Ok ok, take a deep breath." The doctor said, noticing Jungkooks distress.
I can't
He shakily wrote on the board.
"Yes, you can. The more you tell yourself you can't the more you'll believe it. Just breathe." The doctor assured, with a clear yet soft voice. Jungkook tried, hard. But these panic attacks were relentless. They felt like they just got worse every time. It got to a point where Jungkook fully wasn't breathing. Not a single spec of air made its way in or out of his lungs. It was plain dangerous.
"Jungkook. Listen to me. I want you to count to ten. You can do it in your head I don't mind, just count to ten." Jungkook tried, but the thoughts just kept coming back. Flashes of memories, of lying helplessly on the floor, of Jihoon kicking him in the stomach or pulling on his collar. They wouldn't go away. Jungkook shook his head.
"Try again. It's ok. Just keep trying. All you have to do is count to ten." The others looked around awkwardly. Yoongi was about the get up and leave, but when he saw the doctor doing her work, not giving up, it made him feel just that bit better. Jungkook tried again.
1...2... a flash of a memory, he managed to get out a gasp of air, 3...4...5... another flash, and he loses his air again,
6...7...8... he opens his eyes, absorbing the sight of the bright white sheets and the whiteboard.
9...10. He breathes again, managing to let out short, quick gasps. Jungkook nods, indicating that he managed to count to ten.
"Good, now name 5 things you see, in your head or out loud I don't mind"
The whiteboard... the bedsheets... the doctor, my hyungs, the door.
Jungkook nods, to indicate he was done.
"Ok, now 4 things you can hear."
My own breathing... the heart monitor... my heart beating... the trees in the breeze outside...
Jungkook nods again.
"Good, now 3 things you can feel."
The bed sheets, the heart monitor on my finger, my stitches.
Jungkook nods once again.
"Now 2 things you can smell."
Jins cologne... the hospital smell...
He nods again.
"And now 1 thing you can taste."
Uhhh, my own mouth?
It'll do, he thinks, and nods. And by that time he's completely calmed down.
"See. Now your calm." Jungkook smiles and nods.
"It's amazing what a little mindfulness can do. Just remember, next time you get a panic attack, 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste."
Jungkook nodded, and the others made sure to keep it in mind too. The doctor flashed a subtle wink to Yoongi as if to say "maybe you could use it too."
"I should be on my way now. But if I have a spare moment I'll pop in to say hi." The doctor says, waving before she leaves to head back to her office.
"You ok now jungkookie?" Namjoon said, sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Yeah. Much better"