Ruthie was jealous.

Harley was late and she knew why. Once again, he was facetiming his girlfriend and it had gone on longer than he first intended to. Summer was almost over and Ruthie had gotten fed up waiting out on the front lawn of his mom's small house by herself, drinking orange juice and listening to Lorde songs that had come out three years ago. Being a teen had lost it's appeal, mostly because she wasn't a teen anymore. Not to mention the fact Lorde really needed to release a new album. 

The juice left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Ruthie had no right to be jealous. Harley didn't belong to her and as much as she hated to admit it, it had been entirely her fault. He had tried the year before, when he kissed her and she slapped him.

Then she ghosted on him for the rest of the summer. He messaged her a few days before he left telling her when he was leaving and she rushed to see him again, full of apologies. It had been awkward but she wasn't ready and he accepted that. She thought he'd wait for her.

But during the first semester of their second year of college, he met Tatyana. The rest was history.

"Hey, Ruthie! Did I keep you waiting long?" He said. Ruthie hadn't realised that he was outside again and looked up, very startled.

"No, I wasn't waiting," She lied.

"Cool. Sorry, Tati was just stressed about work."

She nodded. She didn't care.

"I can't wait for you to come down and meet her. You'll like her, the two of you are pretty different though," He said.

"Yeah,"

Harley picked up the radio, showing off the tattoos that ran up his arms. He had really changed in the past year, and his once hidden array of tattoos had begun to peek out of his clothing - Ruthie couldn't believe it when he told her two years ago how many he had. He must've had at least triple that now. Gone were the days where he wore only tank tops and sunglasses with a matching beanie. His hair was always buzzed down now, the curls never given a chance to shine. She had to admit that his new style suited him a lot. But that didn't mean she had to like it.

"You ever gonna let your hair grow back?" She asked.

He shrugged, finding a radio station he liked and sipped on his orange and mango juice. Apparently, Tatyana loved mango. "It's buzzcut season,"

"That song came out three years ago, let go," She said.

He laughed. "I always let it grow out in the winter when it's cold,"

"Oh,"

"Yeah."

"Huh."

He sipped on his juice. "I like it shorter though."

Ruthie suddenly felt very sentimental and her eyes pooled with tears. Before she could hide them, Harley saw.

"What's wrong?" He asked, alarmed.

"Don't ask me questions," She mumbled and rubbed at her eyes. He stood up and rushed away, coming back a few moments later with a pack of tissues. She accepted them gratefully and sighed.

"Ruthie?"

"I'm just feeling sentimental, don't mind me." She said.

"You sure?" He asked.

"No."

There was a strong silence that filled the air around them. Harley tried to find the words to speak but decided that silence was the option.

"Do you need a hug?" He asked finally. Ruthie shook her head.

"You can't hug me,"

"I've hugged you before?"

"Not when you had a girlfriend," She half whispered. He didn't hear her but Harley was not an idiot.

He kept silent and swallowed. Then he stood up again. "I'm going to get some more juice,"

Ruthie did not say anything, nor did she stay and wait for him to get his precious mango and orange juice. She left.

Three days later, Ruthie came back, feeling contrite. When she had stopped being bitter she thought about it - really thought about it and found that he hadn't done anything wrong. It wasn't his fault that he was ready last summer to confront his feelings and the only thing she had been ready to do was run away.

It had been three years since that fateful summer, when Harley, who had been repeating his last year at a new high school had met her on his mother's front lawn. She was way too naive and had a teeny weeny crush on him at first but didn't want to come across as forward, especially since she was sure he found her annoying. After about two weeks, she got over it and they became friends.

The next year, he came back. They sat and spoke to each other like real friends, especially since she had finally figured out (or been told) his name. She said an actual goodbye to him. They went to college just across the state from each other and skyped all the time.

Then the year after that he kissed her and she hurt his feelings. Now he had moved on and her feelings were hurt. It was like some sort of sick twisted poetic justice.

Harley met her outside. "Hey,"

"Hi," She said.

"You ok?"

"I'm fine."

"Ok. Come inside,"

The two of them went inside the small house and stopped in the dining room. It was all too grown up for Ruthie, she thought she was going to burst because of how different it was. There was a picture of three butterflies on the wall, heading in different directions that left a funny taste in her mouth.

"I need to talk to you," She said.

He offered her some juice. It wasn't pure orange. She told him that the only thing she liked was pure orange, so he found some. She didn't want it if it came with anything else.

She sat down on one of the chairs, her little glass of orange juice left untouched. "I..."

"I really did like you last year," he said, pouring himself a mug of coffee. The smell was unbearable. "I thought that you liked me too. But then you hit me so I felt stupid."

Ruthie sighed.

"How do you feel about me now?"

He was hesitant at first but then sat down across the table from her. "You're my friend,"

"I like you now," She told him.

"Sorry,"

"Is that all you have to say?"

He didn't reply.

"Wow."

"I just... Listen, if it was last August when I had just gotten back to college then things would have been different. Hell, if it was last September I probably would have jumped up and kissed you again."

Ruthie's eyes started tearing up again.

"But it's not. Ruthie, it's June. I've had one year to think and one year to heal. As cliche as it sounds, I have changed now and I've found -"

He sighed.

"I'm with Tatyana. She didn't make me feel like I wasn't good enough by ignoring me for two and a half months."

Ruthie wiped her eyes and looked at the picture. She had no idea he felt like that but it made sense - he must have been lonely when she ignored him all last summer. He wasn't from here. She just hung out with her Bible crew and tried not to think about him sitting alone every day, possibly waiting for her and knowing that she would not come.

"I waited for you for so long," He chuckled. "About a week before I had to go, my mom made me stop moping about by getting me to run errands. This one time, I saw you at the park but you were with those girls in your weird Bible group thing and I just kept on walking past you, because I was sure you hated me -"

"I didn't hate you," She said firmly. "I never hated you, I was just feeling really guilty."

He didn't seem to take any notice of what she said. "When you came at the end of the summer, I was pretty surprised, mostly because I was sure you never wanted to see me again."

Ruthie couldn't say anything. For a while, she stared at their two cups, the orange juice next to the mug of black coffee. She felt so... young.

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," She mumbled. "But I didn't mean to."

"Nobody means anything when they're doing it." He said in reply. "It's only when you look back at it that we realise what we truly meant."

Ruthie realised that there was a block between the two of them that she could only get a taste of. It was like the taste of coffee in the air - not strong but still there. It was the difference between him and her.

"I thought you'd wait," She was surprised by this confession.

"I had been waiting for a while," He confessed, surprising her further. "

"Thought you'd wait longer."

"If I kept on waiting, I probably would've died waiting."

"What do you mean?"

He sipped at his coffee a few times. "You wouldn't have done anything and I wasn't about to harm our friendship any further.

She took a look at the picture of the butterflies once more. "You're right y'know. I wouldn't have done anything."

Harley didn't say anything so she figured that he had nothing left to say. She had learned when she first met him that he didn't speak for the sake of speaking. He only spoke when he really needed to and when he was done, he was done.

Right now, it looked like he was done.

"Are you happy?" She asked, not wanting to know the answer.

"Yep." His phone rang. She caught a glimpse of the caller ID before he muted the call and put his phone on silent. "I'm really happy with Tatyana."

It still hurt.

She nodded once. Then twice. Then looked downed her cup of orange juice and looked at him with the lightest of smiles.

"I'm happy for you," She said, really meaning it. She wasn't happy for herself, oh no. But if her friend was happy, she was.

He frowned. "Thank you," he said quietly.

Ruthie leaned back against her chair and sighed loudly. "That was some heavy stuff!" She said airily and grinned like her heart wasn't hurting. "Damn, it's almost like we're adults or something."

Harley smoothed out the frown on his face and gave her a smile. It was almost pitying.

"Well, we're not Teens anymore,"

a/n:

RAAAH That was some heavy stuff guys!!!

And with that, Teens is well and TRULY over! It's been three years to this exact date! I wrote this story when I was like sixteen, six months away from seventeen!! Now I'm nineteen, six months away from being twenty! I guess you could say........

I'm not a teen anymore

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(well technically I am since nineteen is still a teenager but nevermind)

hope you all enjoyed! #dswizzleout