74.
chapter seventy-four:
moonlit kisses.
<3

"I'm in love with you, Ash!"

"Love? With Ash?" I had asked.

The girl with light brown hair tied into identically cute pigtails nodded enthusiastically. Her hands clasped around mine, and her eyes shone with something I couldn't comprehend back then.

But then, love turned cruel, cold, and insufferable. It was nothing but a game of manipulation. The backdrop of something even worse. Macey turned me into the butt of the joke, and things only went south since that day. Everything led up to what now was a part of me. Only, it was the negative thing I could see in my head: trauma.

"Ash? Ash? Are you okay? Ash! Look at me!"

Her voice came in as if it were an 8D audio, finely tuned and reverbed for listening on loop. The brown-haired girl vanished, and in a flash, it was replaced by a blonde. "No!" I yelled, holding my throbbing head and backing away.

Freezing wind crashed down on me like icicles dripping off rooftops. My eyes widened, seeing Serena crouched in front of me, a bead of sweat shining on her forehead. How is she perspiring when I'm cold?

Those thoughts melted when her warm hand cupped my cheek. When she spoke, her face softened. Her voice was but a hushed, reassuring whisper. "I guess sometimes, all of us get haunted... Not exactly haunted, but some kind of it, but that's okay. It's okay, Ash. It's okay to feel."

The words hit home, and I felt some kind of built-up dynasty tumble around me as I gazed into the windows to her soul; they held no malicious intent, no double intentions. "Sorry." It was a wasted apology, one that actually meant nothing. How could it when I was blank as ice?

"Apology accepted!" In contrast to what I thought, Serena beamed. She clasped her hands together, as if in prayer, before standing up and offering me one of them. The moon was right behind her, bathing her in a divine halo, and shadowing her face for the most part.

"Why would you accept the apology?" I probed, still not taking her help. She didn't withdraw, though.

"You promised me, Ash, that you would let your walls down around me. You can't just break through one so quick. You're not a wrecking ball, are you?" she paused, and I could see a faint trace of melancholy in her eyes. It vanished as soon as it came, and she smiled brightly, taking my hand and heaving me up with effort. She placed a hand on my shoulder, more to steady herself than my weight. "But you tried."

I tried? 

Was it that feeling of tumbling down into pieces? 

Was it, really?

As if reading my thoughts, Serena nodded. "I don't know why you reacted the way you did, I don't want to know unless you deem me fit, Your Highness." She faked a bow and giggled cutely.

Cutely.

Cute had been an innocent adverb in my limited vocabulary back then. Now, with a vast array of words stacked in my mind, I could conclude perilously pretty to describe her.

As for the honey blonde, no amount of words stitched together could describe her. Right?

I broke into a rant of words, barely considered twice. "There was this girl, back in Pallet before we met. Macey. She hailed from Johto and was there on vacation. We played together several times, and one day, she came up to me telling me she loved me.

"I was too naïve, and trusted her, but then things went downhill as soon as she learned of... Dad. Everything started with her spreading lies, hideous rumors. Gary... she..." My breath quickened, and Serena turned blurry. Her voice rang faintly, before my eyes concentrated on her beautifully sculpted face.

"Ash, it's okay! Calm down! You're under the night sky with me, Serena! It's over!"

It took me more than just a minute and a great gulp of water to cool off. The weather outside helped, too, and soon we were sitting, leaning against each other: I was mostly the one requiring support then, and it seemed like Serena didn't mind being leaned on. Her strawberry scent was welcoming and soothing.

When I spoke up, my voice came out horribly cracked, embarrassing me. "I'm sorry, Serena. I don't think... I can say... that."

Serena gave me a sympathetic smile and ran a hand over my hair. I felt all my nerve endings tingle with warmth at the cafuné. "That's okay. It's enough for me... if you hear me."

"Of course."

"Ash, I love you," she breathed. I gazed at her but found no tint of insecurity behind her proclamation. "Truly, sincerely, and all the other synonyms."

I backed away and reached over to hold her hand. She truly looked heartbroken, and it weighed me down. An idea sparked in my mind. "I'm sorry... I don't know how to tell it back... Could I at least — at least show you? So you know I care?"

"How?"

"Well," I quipped, blushing at the memories of one particular night under the very same blanket of stars when we had exchanged passionate gestures to show just how much we liked each other. "I had this wonderful dream," I lied. "Where you showed me how to shower love. Can I do it to you?"

Serena looked hesitant but agreed nevertheless. "Sure."

Taking it as the cue, I held her hand tighter and leaned in, pecking her cheek. Flustered, she called out, but I didn't stop. If I couldn't make her happier with words, I might as well make her feel alright with actions. With kisses.

Shutting my eyes, I repeated drunk Serena's actions, brushing my lips against her forehead and her jaw consecutively before giving one last touch to the bridge of her nose. When I pulled back, the honey blonde was a stuttering mess, face as red as a ripe tomato.

"The dream v-version of me did this?" Serena stammered. I grinned widely, bobbing my head.

We were both drunk that night; Serena was intoxicated on gin, while I was high on her love. Little does she know what else she did.

"O-okay?" She looked down in thought, as if contemplating something. An internal war later, her blazing blue bore into my eyes. Serena set her jaw, cupped my face, and mirrored my actions, one by one, leaving warmth wherever we came into contact.

The moments lasted several seconds long; it was a blissful moonlit embrace that, ultimately, fell short on the climax. We never shared a lip-lock.