The day started like any other, it was pretty cloudy and cold. Deciding to stay home to take a breather from everything that has been going on you lay back on your couch. Digesting these past events and all the information that had been spilled out has been fairly difficult, aside from the fact you've had mixed feelings about Karai now your heart and head were heavy weighed down by fleeting thoughts of what is, was or will be. Sighing you tangle your fingers in your (H/L) (H/C) hair, biting your lip to feel pain any where else than your chest. You glanced at the clock remembering that you, April and Casey were supposed to meet in the lair to discuss some important business, turning over you bury your face in the couch cushion deciding to be late. You knew you had to go and face everyone eventually but you wanted to mentally prepare yourself, Donnie had known for quite a while just what had you pulling away from nearly everyone, more specifically... Leo. Donnie was smacked for a wild loop when you cornered him and burst at the seems, no one was allowed to get close to your feelings for you felt it made you feel weak but you ended up losing it. The poor dork was the one to suffer your rage, not entirely directed at him but scary either way, you always kept everyone at a distance though you seemed to get along with everyone. "(Y/N?)" Donnie asked wide eyed. Your hands were shaking and your whole frame was trembling uncontrollably. Slamming your fists down onto the desk you could no longer control the sobs from escaping, the past week was hard on you for everything that had happened with the brothers getting hurt and Karai capturing Splinter yet you tried to stay the rock that you were to support the turtles.

You squeezed your (E/C) eyes shut trying to force away the tears now streaming down your face, your throat had become raw from both the hoarse and silent sobs shaking your frame to the core. Unsure of what else to do Donnie hadn't tried to get you to stop crying, instead he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you to lean on him. "It's okay (Y/N) everything will be okay, things always get bad before they get better right?" He asked rubbing up and down your back. The flood gates had truly been forced open because everything started coming out all at once, so fast in fact you hadn't realized you were machine gunning, tripping over your own tongue and talking so fast nothing made sense. "... Uh huh, I see. Well um... could you do me a favor and repeat that, but a bit slower?" He asked softly. Taking a deep breath you started over, "I... don't really know where to begin. Everything is just so... messed up. Sure things now are bothering me... but I just... have been dying on the inside over falling for..." You stopped yourself and shook your head shelling back up. "Falling? As like in... love?" Donnie asked taken aback by your words. Realizing it's too late to go back now you slowly nod. "...For Leo." You mutter using your (F/C) sleeve to dry your eyes. "I can see that. I uh mean, really? Well what are you going to do about it?" He asked rubbing your shoulder. "Nothing. I can't tell him... not now anyway." You answer squeezing one hand with the other. "And why not?" He asked earning a shrug from you. "... I guess I'm just not ready," You answer with a sigh. "I see. Well when you decide you are don't second guess it. And if you ever need someone around just to talk, I'm here. You shouldn't pent up all of your feelings," He said rubbing your head messing up your hair some. "...Thanks Donnie." You give a soft smile and lean your head on his shoulder.

Sitting up on the couch you decide now is as good a time as any to get ready for the rest of the day. Standing you shuffle over to your bedroom picking out an outfit and laying it out on your bed, meticulously mulling over which sweater to wear. After figuring out all the details of your attire you head to take a long hot shower, slowly cleansing yourself as to make yourself as late as possible. After slowly drying off and dressing you headed over to the kitchen to grab something to eat, slowly trudging over everyday tasks at the pace of a snail you find and eat then clean your mess. Walking back to the bathroom to brush your hair and teeth, still moving at the pace of a dying snail. Hearing the tone of your T-phone you drag your feet to close all the doors of the apartment, grab your cash, keys and put on your shoes. Finally grabbing your T-phone and heading for the door, stepping out closing and locking it you open the phone looking at the new message notice as you left the building. Waiting until you were down the street to finally open it awaiting the lecture of being late from Donnie but it was a text from Mikey. "Don't go down into the lair. Meet with us at Aprils apartment, explain later." It read, feeling that something was wrong you thrust into action running towards April's place. Turning down a corner your eyes widened at the sight of the Krang marching through a plethora of portals. "Oh no..." You muttered and ran as fast as you could. It took a while to finally get to April's but when you did you found April tending to a wounded Donatello, Mikey was trying to calm a panicking Mr O'neil though he was failing miserably only making it worse. "(Y/N)! You're okay!" Mikey exclaimed rushing toward and wrapping you in a hug. "Guys... what is going on, what happened?" You ask placing a trembling hand over Mikey's as he squeezed you from the side. "The Krang found the lair... and sprang the invasion," Donnie answered. "... Where are the others?" You ask noticing it was just you guys in the apartment. Donnie's face fell into a look of shame, his lip quivered slightly as he tried to meet your eyes but couldn't. "Raph and Casey were out looking for Karai. I just texted them where we are." Mikey answered putting a hand on your shoulder and leading you to sit on the couch. "What about Master Splinter..." You start. "Raph just texted me! On our way being chased by Krang Prime frowny face. Oh I guess they'll be a little late." He exclaimed holding his phone. "Splinter stayed behind to hold off the krang while we escaped," April answered bowing her head. "...And Leo?" The question Donnie wished you wouldn't ask. "...He... he lead the krang away. We were caught between two tunnels..." Donnie struggled to answer. Your heart sank and you stood clenching your fist. "(Y/N)! Where are you going?" Mikey asked as you headed for the door. You couldn't answer, your throat tightened and tears were already threatening to fall but before you could reach the exit it ha flown open. Raph and Casey ran inside slamming the door shut nearly running into your now statue like frame.

"Hey are you okay?" Casey asked but you stared straight on through, soft short breaths barely audible escaping your slightly parted lips. You could hear the guys talking and slowly blinked trying to take a deep breath. "...Leo is still out there!" You heard someone say snapping you back to reality. "What?" Raph asked. "Long story bro. See..." Mikey started when suddenly a limp figure was thrown through the window crashing onto the floor. "Leo!" Raph yelled. Your eyes wide as your heart felt as though it had stopped, "No!" Your scream was ear piercing as foot bots made their way in. After Donnie had taken one out Casey grabbed your wrist pulling you along in your shocked state, finally making it outside you all had taken off. Finally stopping in front of the party wagon where Kirby was once again mutated the rest of you got in and drove off. Staring straight down to the floor of the back of the van being thrown back between the back door and the side wall. Stopping where there was a manhole Donnie, April, Mikey and Raph went to collect a few things from the lair and to find Splinter. Casey drove off with you and Leo to find his family, silently you crawled over and looked down to the unconscious turtle. After a while of searching for Casey's family you had found the others, quickly piling in you all fled the city with Donnie voicing his regret and Raph comforting Mikey. You felt a gaze on you but dared not look from your knees, it was a long drive to your destination but it made no difference. Even when you got to April's old family home you were statue like, standing on the porch staring out to the woods with drained eyes. "(Y/N)?" Donnie said placing a hand on your now freezing shoulder. In the van you had shed your sweater and lay it over Leo while the others went to search the lair. You simply stared out to the darkening world, your breath visible the only sign that you hadn't yet frozen over. Once again you had shelled up, closing your eyes you finally managed to find your voice, "I'm fine. You should tend to the others." Your words both relieved and destroyed him, you hadn't said a word to anyone since April's but now you were closing up. "No you're not. Don't hide away again... it's hard I know but..." He started but you shook your head covering your ears. "Don't you see, this shouldn't be about me!" You cried out as tears formed. Not wanting to draw attention from the others you had run off to the edge of the woods, Donnie following calling out to you. Stopping you held your face in your hands, trying to press the tears back in.

"(Y/N)..." Donnie forced you to face him and hugged you, but you resisted. Trying to push him away with cold words he continued to hold you against his plastron set in his resolve. "Stop! You should be with them they need you! You all have enough to worry about now..." You cried as the stinging tears wet your face and his shoulder as you collapsed into his embrace. "...I am needed right here just as much." He finally spoke. "....Donnie..." You continued to cry. You have officially lost everything, family, home, friends, not just the life you once knew but now bits of your innocence. The vibrant light that flickered and burned with in those bright eyes was now extinguished and hollow. Your rosy cheeks that even at the worst of times held just enough color to show the warmth of who you are was replaced with a sickly pale tone. Your lip quivered as your sobs finally faded and silence over took the evening interrupted by few frequent sniffles. It took awhile for you to get warm even after entering the farm house, everyone was exhausted but stayed up in the living room attempting to console one another, sad gazes travelling from one to another. Everyone watched as you silently passed through the room heading for the stairs, no one made any attempt to call you back but instead turned back to silence of the room. Entering the bathroom to find Leo in the near full bathtub your eyes ached to cry but they were now dry and unable, slowly closing the door to only a crack you released the knob and approached the tub. Kneeling beside it your fingers lightly traced over his green skin, a lump formed in your throat but you forced it away. "I'm sorry. If I had been there on time... you'd have had help. You wouldn't be like this..." You softly spoke. As one of the brother's had headed to watch over Leo they stopped at the sound of your voice, peering through the crack of the door to find you kneeling beside Leo. "....I can't lose you too. You have to wake up...we need you... I need you." You continued clutching the edge of the tub. "I need you. I need you because I... I love you, you idiot!" You cried resting your head on the tubs edge. Raph's eyes widened at hearing your confession but couldn't bring himself to move. Silently you stood leaning over as few tears managed to form, inching closer until your lips touched. "When you wake up... I'll tell you when you can actually hear me..." You whisper standing straight and returning to the others.

Thanks for reading and please do leave a comment! Hope you enjoyed my reader insert and let me know what you think! ^-^