Jordan is @LoriRoche

(Jordan fell asleep and her brother got her phone. He told me that she had fallen asleep.)

I replied: Tell Jordan the phone is ringing and she'll wake up. Or her lizard escaped. Or jump up and down yelling 'FIRE!!'

(Apparently, he did it)

Lori: .................... Did you just tell Leo to jump and and down screaming fire

(I did not lie)

I said: I shall not lie. ...... Now I keep imagining him jumping up and down yelling fire.

Lori: Yeah, so do I. I thought Mikey, the idiot that he is, made pizza noodle soup and forgot to turn off the oven.

Me: Did he really do it?!

Lori: Yes he did! I got mad that there was no fire, so I mighty jave ninja kicked him.

Me: Oh no! Is he okay?

Lori: I think....Yeah he's good.

Me: Heeheeheeheeheeheehee!!! I can't. Stop. Laughing!

Lori: Ok, I'll smoke bomb over to your house and ninja kick you for telling Leo to do that.

Me: Awww maaaaaaaaaaan... RUN LEO WHILE YOU STILL CAN!

Lori: He can barely stand, I'm sure he won't be able to run.

Me: I'LL DISTRACT HER!

Lori: Then you'll be tired.

(I considered this for a moment.)

Me: True... RUN AND HIDE LEO! RUN AND HIDE! I'LL GO TO SLEEP! (as an afterthought, I added) LOL, poor guy. Okay, I have to go to sleep now so I'll be all ready for prison tomorrow.

(We call school 'prison')

Lori: Hahahahahahahahahaha! I gave the guys a death glare and they were all like, 'take us with you'

Me: LOL, I'll put them in Hali's basement for her to take care of. They serve Nutella there.

Lori: Leo's dead and you're next! Lol, night.

(She then noticed the Nutella statement)

Lori: Omg, I gotta live there night!

Me: Night! I mourn Leo!!! FAREWELL, GOOD LEONARDO, FAREWELL!!! And ask your Aunt Hali if you can live there. I am now asleep. I am sleep-texting!

(Lori noticed the large number of times we said goodnight)

Lori: We keep saying goodnight, then keep texting.

(I had to admit, she was right)

Me: Yeahhhhh... We're bad about that. Okay. Goodnight. It is ovah for today.

Lori: Bye.

Me: Haha, bye, you crazy turtles! I'm asleep!

And that was the tale of the turtles.