『 chapter xxix: HIS FOR NOW, NOT HIS FOREVER. 』

THE BEACH WAS BEAUTIFUL AT SUNDOWN. IT had that fading warmth mixed with the chilly air that came from what part of the country they lived in. June couldn't take her eyes off of it, nature had only seemed all the more ethereal to her since her powers came. She didn't just see pretty trees and a nice beach, she saw the life of the trees and if she concentrated really hard, she could almost hear the whistle the pines made as the wind blew through them. Each wave had its own tune and every splash on the shore brought life to the dry sand that had millions of eroded rock from the sea beyond. June felt like some college student she hears at Sully's talking about save the planet but June had never been more sure of her love for the big green earth than when she was standing on it, looking at the waves crash on shore and the sun set — everything looking almost as beautiful as the way that the boy, young man, next to her was staring at her.

"It's beautiful," June murmurs, sure he can hear her.

Jacob nods, he stuffs his hands in his jeans. "Sam says you're almost completely in-tune with nature because of what you are." He tells her.

"Because of what I am ..." June hums, shutting her eyes for a moment. "And what are in tune with, wolfman?" She turns to him, her emotions calm for the first time in a while.

"Myself." Jacob responds. He furrows his brows. "Our culture, my purpose ... a few lucky members of the tribe have the gene. Bloodsucker comes to town, fever sets in."

"The gene," June repeats. She turns to him as her mind thinks it over. "Ephraim Black, Levi Uley, Quil Ateara II ... they were the ones from the story, the ones who made the treaty with the Cullen's."

"Unfortunately." Jacob responds tightly.

"I really thought you were sick ..." June tries to ease the tension at the mention of Bella's ex's family

Jacob shakes his head, letting out a ironic laugh. "I wish." Then more seriously he says, "There's no exact age for it and it just builds and builds. Sometimes if we're angry or agitated or too emotional, it can trigger right then and there." He picks up a seashell he sees on the ground and examines it. "That's why it took a while for me; I had nothing to be angry or agitated about, I was perfectly happy." His eyes meet hers, he hands her the seashell with a pink tinge to his face. "Mostly because of you. No, it was all because of you."

June blinks. "Me?"

Jacob nods, giving her a look. "We started dating." He says with a swell in his chest. "How could I not be happy? I had the biggest smile on my face all the time; then the day of the baby shower came and Paul was being a dick, per usual, and I just snapped that Embry and I ended up fighting! I never thought I'd be fighting my best friend and there I was ... acting like meathead in front of my girlfriend and her family."

"I had never been more attracted to you in all honesty." June says unashamed, still trying to hide the blush in her face that was given by his words. He grins and she smiles but then asks seriously, "But really, was it like bad to change? Are you ... miserable?"

"Scary," Jacob admits. "But I'm not miserable, not anymore now that you know; that was the only thing that made changing horrible. I couldn't tell you or be with you."

"I'm here now, wolfman." She says softly.

Jacob turns to her, "You're alright with me turning into a giant wolf?"

June gives him a grin, "My best friend was a vampire. Im not exactly normal either—think I'm good with handling a supernatural creature relationship."  He smiles like he was holding a nervous breath. June thinks about the wolves, about how they were the ones that fought against Laurent. Worry seeps through her more than it had a moment ago. "Before I start losing my mind again, let's just get something that's been bugging me for a while out of the way: the pack doesn't kill humans, right?"

Jacob's face flashes with revulsion for a moment at the question and she could kiss him for it, "What? June—God, no! No, we don't kill people, contrary to what those hunting parties believe." He grumbles at the last part.

"That's my fault," She winced.

"You didn't know," He says sadly. "Sam made me stay away, I'm still new to this. If I get too angry or too emotional, I can shift ... that's dangerous for you."

"You wouldn't hurt me."

"No, never." Jacob swears. "Things happen though. I'm sure you've put together what really happen to Em's face, those scars weren't from a bear, June."

June gulps, knowing the answer. "I figured."

Jacob nods tightly, "Sam beats himself up everyday for it, despite Emily long forgetting about it and forgiving him." He sighs with a shrug. "He just didn't want history repeating itself."

After a moment she tries to get straight to the point.
"So if the pack isn't the reason that people are missing and there's something killing people," June tries to piece it together with a concentrated look on her face. "What the hell is?"

"The only thing we do kill, the only reason we exist; to protect our tribe from one thing," Jacob went closer to her, his face morphing into revulsion again. "Vampires."

The word, for some reason, hit her brain like the most terrifying revelation she ever heard. June knew from what Edward told her that there were others — not all used the lifestyle that Edward and his family were accustomed to. She knew first hand when she saw James and Victoria and Laurent and their strange and beautiful red eyes. Red as the blood they drink, red as the soul they have. June knew that human drinkers couldn't kill too much, they had to avoid the risk of exposure, for the vampire police in Italy would put a stop to them. June had thought it was as black and white as Edward made it to be; but he had been wrong, like how he thought Melanie died with poison berries instead of a dagger to the heart, like how he thought his kinds only threat was exposure — it wasn't. It was right in front of her, in the shape of a boy who had turned into a man too fast for her to breathe.

"Before you go worrying," Jacob chimes in shortly after, he knew her too well. "We took out that leech with the dreads easy enough. Ripping him apart might've been the most fun I've had in a while—"

"Laurent?" June chokes out.

Jacob's face darkened. "You knew him?"

June nodded inaudibly. "He helped us ... last year."

"Helped." Jacob echoes. He frowns deeply then, brooding just like Edward used to when Bella said reckless things. "I didn't know leeches were so helpful? Whatever, he's dead. Which is what's coming for any other vampire that comes after you."

"You were there ..." June remembers and then takes in his words. "You killed him."

"It was group effort," Jacob boasts, a fierce grin on his lips.

"Humble," June muses for a second before she starts worrying again. "Do you all have some death wish? That was dangerous, going after him like that! He was three hundred years old— and drank human blood, that was risky, Jacob, didn't you all think—?"

"Babe," Jacob laughs, as if she amuses him. "One leech isn't nearly as strong as a pack our size."

"He's dead then?" She tries to clarify.

Jacob nods, then his expression changes. "Your sister isn't gonna give you crap, right? He was gonna kill you, June, if Bella has something to say she can take it up with us. We were sure though. He had his hands around you—" Jacob stops mid-sentence and takes a deep breath through his nose.

"No I told her that day," June shakes her head, her eyes soften as she looks up at him. "I didn't know those wolves you were all of you guys ... I thought he'd killed you all and got away."

"Leech didn't even get good distance away," Jacob shakes his head. He smiles down at her. "We were careful, we always are; we protect each other, too."

"That's good," June feels some relief. Then she realizes how good it actually is. Laurent's dead. He never got a chance to report back to Victoria, he's deader than dead. June can weep in joy. "He's dead!"

Jacob smiles, "He is."

"You don't know how great that is," June says as she grabs his broad shoulders. "I've been worried sick, waiting for him to come to my house, hoping that he'd leave my family alone. I spent nights in Willie's nursery just watching him sleep because I was so scared ..."

"You're all safe now," Jacob says. "We wouldn't have let a thing happen to Willie or you or anybody in your family, June. He's gone, we ended him. It's what we're made for."

She sees his eyes that hold questions to how she knows who Laurent was and how he helped them. She looks down. "I guess you wanna know how exactly I know some murderous vampire, huh?"

"It's crossed my mind," Jacob says, visibly stiff.

June sighs, giving him a weary look. "Bella and I, along with the Cullen's, only knew Laurent because we met him last year. When another vampire was after us, well, Bella — so we thought." She explains quickly, knowing she could tell him the truth now. "But things weren't what they seemed ... I wasn't in the hospital because I was exhausted. I was in the hospital because I killed a cold one that tried to kill me."

He blinks, looking as if he was trying his best to keep his control. The thought of her in danger was blood chilling to him. "You killed a cold one?"

"Yes," June nods stiffly, hoping he wouldn't be too disgusted with her. "It was a group effort, Esme and Rosalie helped ... but I ... I ripped him apart."

After a long moment, he smiles.

"That's my girl." Jacob says with such adoration that she could blush but she's too frozen with the thought of what the wolves killing Laurent meant.

"You're not ... you don't think different of me?" She asks hesitantly.

Jacob looks at her, at the hesitance in her face. He softens and takes one of her hands, the one with a bruise. He kisses it tenderly. "I think what I said about you being stronger than people think has never been more true." He says with that heart aching smile of his.

"He was after me, Jacob. I was so scared. More scared then I've ever been." June explains weakly, still scared that he'd think different of her. "And he was after Bella, well, we thought he was and that's why she left with Edward to lead him away but he tricked us and he came after me and Esme and Rosalie in the woods behind my house and he was gonna kill me and I wasn't ready to die, Jacob, I didn't want to die—"

                  Jacob cupped her face, shushing her softly as she started sobbing her words. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and cried and he smoothed her hair down with his large hand, speaking to her, "June, baby, don't feel guilt for doing what you had to do. They deserve to die, hell, they're already dead. I wasn't what I was back then, I couldn't protect you like I can now. That's my fault ... you're still June, you're still my June. Nothing's gonna hurt you anymore, nobody, not even me. I'm never leaving you again," He swore and his words made her heart yearn even more for him. "Everything will fine after his red-headed girlfriend is as dead as all of them."

June froze in his arms. Red-headed girlfriend. She pulled away abruptly, "You've seen her? Victoria's here?"

Jacob winces, his eyes flashing darkly. "It doesn't help me stay in control when you know those leeches names, June."

"Sorry," She apologizes quickly. "It's just—I wasn't sure where she was ..."

"The pack chased her all the way to the Canadian border the other day," Jacob says with a sigh. "She got away but she keeps coming back. All we know is that hikers keep dying and we're always too late; Sam says it seems more than her just being hungry. We don't know what she's after."

June stuffs her hands in her pockets and looks at the crashing waves. This is it. Maybe it wasn't all over. Laurent was only the beginning. She was still here, she survived Laurent's miserable attempt at recon investigating for the redheaded demon. But Victoria was here, most likely the cause or restart of her nightmares coming again. June watched the waves and shuts her eyes as she listens to the sounds around her, she can almost her heart race rapidly over everything.

"Hey, wolfman?"

"Yeah, ocean eyes?" Jacob responds huskily.

Tears sting her eyes but she still doesn't face him as she watches the sea and shuts her lids as she breathes in the ocean spray, "Victoria was his mate."

"What?"

June opens her eyes, turning to Jacob. "The vampire I killed? His name was James." She swallows thickly as his eyes meet hers. "And Victoria was his mate — and she keeps coming back only because she wants one thing: she wants me dead for killing him."

June watched the anger form in her boyfriends eyes before she could even comprehend the scene in front of her. She watched and took self preserving steps back as Jacob shook with anger, his emotions going out of control. She heard the pounding of footsteps behind her and saw the guys, Sam and all the pack, rushing towards them. June saw her cousin go to her cousins side in an instant, remembering that their wolf telepathy was probably picked up as soon as June spoke the words. June didn't even question how they got to them so fast, Emily's house was close by but they weren't any measly humans regardless. June wiped the tears from her eyes as she watched Jacob phase in front of her for the second time that day. The massive russet wolf

"...redheaded leech is after June." Embry said, troubled as he turned to Paul who took to standing by June protectively.

"—she's just a girl." Jared scowled with fury.

"—doesn't matter, we got to keep an eye out—" Sam started.

But June didn't hear a word of it, she went closer, slowly, despite the voices that protested. They all sounded muffled. June kept walking start towards the wolf — Jacob — who looked ferocious and frustrated, wanting to rip apart the woman who was after his imprint. June got closer, Jacob finally paying attention to her and not to Sam who was trying to use his alpha command to make Jacob shift back. June reached out, and surprisingly, it didn't take more than a second for the massive beast to let out a whine of content. He sat on his haunches and leaned into June's small hand that ran through his pelt. The wolf's eyes shut with calmness, Jacob relishing the touch his imprint gave him.

"I'll be damned," Paul had his brows raised in surprise.

"There's something you don't see everyday," Jared grinned from where he stood. 

             June smiles at Jacob, running her hands through his fur with a more sure touch. "I'm okay, wolfman. No danger." She says lowly, but she knows he can hear. She tried to wrap her arms around his large wolf body. "I'm okay." Sam comes up, he smiles at June softly. He nods to Jacob who nuzzles his nose into his imprints hand, making her giggle and scrunch her nose, "Good boy."

He licked her hand and she laughed. He nudged her a bit towards Sam and she frowned, "What?"

Sam speaks up, "He's gonna go get dressed," He tells June. "We're all gonna head to Harry's house, Billy and Old Quil are gonna be there. More explaining — it's long overdue."

"Oh." June feels her heart race. She looks back to Jacob who's still in wolf form. She rushes to hug him once more and she feels a rumble sound out of him. "See you. Try not to wolf out anymore tonight, Okay?" She grins at him once more before she turns away.

Sam gestures her to follow him and the others to follow Jacob. June watched as Jacob trots towards the forest brush in his wolf form, the others following him, all shifting one after the other into different colored beats. June watched in awe at the beauty of the wolves, her lips parting in content as her palms sort of begin to burn in a way that wasn't painful for the first time since she had them glowing. June looks up to Sam.

He smiles down at his cousin. "Follow me, Junior. I know you got questions. Lucky for you, I have answers."

And right then and there, June feels absolutely balanced with herself for the first time a while. It's strange, it might have to do with the moon in the sky. Maybe.

•—•—•—•

SAM AND JUNE WALK BACK TOWARDS EMILY'S house, but they pass the entrance to further into the home by walking through some brush. She realizes there's some awkward tension around them. Maybe it's due to the fact that she was a total bitch to her cousin, someone who was like her big brother her whole life, all because of her stupid pride and sense of superiority. June stuffs her hands in her jacket and glances beside her to see her cousin is in the same  kind of stump. They make their way towards some rocks or logs that pass for a suitable sitting area.

"I'm sorry." Sam says firstly. He looks to her. "I'm sorry I had to lie to you, I'm sorry I kept everything from you when we promised there wouldn't be secrets between us, junior."

June nods, then sighs. "I'm sorry, too. For shunning you and telling you that you were like uncle Joshua," She meets her cousins eyes and softens. "You're the furthest thing from him, Sammy. I know you don't need me to tell you but I think you're awesome sauce times a million. And thank you, by the way, for ... helping Jacob with his ... transformation I guess?"

Sam gives her a grateful smile. "Thank you, June." He reaches out and squeezes her hand softly. "As for helping Jake, how could I not? We're brothers now. All of us. I didn't have anyone to help me through this, when I first phased I thought I was losing my mind — I ran away for two weeks, in the woods, in wolf form, I didn't know how to change back. Until I came home finally, human, but Old Quil visited and I shook his hand; he knew right then and there."

"How?" June was interested.

Sam grins, "Well, since you run about the same temperature as us if not a degree or two less," His grin widens. "You wouldn't know, but being 108 in temperature usually causes some warning signals. Old Quil knew all the signs from the legends and I checked out each of them."

June nods to herself, looking down at her hands. "I didn't know I was that warm?" She frowned. "I'm nothing as warm as Jake or you—"

"No, that's why I said a few degrees less." He tells her with a nod. "But yeah, it was about time Jacob phased. You kept him from it long enough."

June blushes, "So he said."

"Its the truth," Sam says with a nudge. "He was going out of his mind because he couldn't see you, I wouldn't let him."

"Because it was dangerous?" June guesses flatly.

"Yes," Sam nods. Then more cautiously, he adds. "And because I didn't want you to be hurt more, emotionally. I know how much you liked him and I didn't want you hurt more by losing him to someone else. But that's not the case, the Spirits where on your side—"

"What did you say?" She narrowed her eyes. "Why would I lose him to someone else, Samuel?"

Sam's eyes widened. "Shit," He says in realization. "I guess Jake didn't get around to telling you that part, huh?"

June suddenly infuriated by the mere thought of Jacob with somebody else; the fire inside her makes her palms feel warm again. "Samuel." She warns.

"It's a wolf thing," Sam says quickly. "It's a rare occurrence but considering how many of the guys have imprinted, I'd say it's not that rare, apparently it can take years to find yours."

Imprinted. June was sure she saw that word in Melanie's journal, when she was describing her relationship with Ephraim Black and how she blamed his attention and affection on the imprint. Whatever the hell that was. But the way Melanie had described it as such a cursed thing and something along the lines of codependency, it made June wary of the word. Especially since Sam looked like he had been caught in a jewelry store after dark.

"What's an imprint?" She presses, scared to hear the answer.

Sam sighs, "I can hear Jake already," He groans as he rubs his face with his hands. Her cousin looks at her and says with a firm expression, "Alright, settle in junior. To put it straight, Jacob imprinted on you — it's a wolf thing like I said, and it's the equivalent to a soulmate."

June froze, "S-Soulmate." She echoes.

Her cousin nods, watching her facial expressions and continuing. "Basically. But for shape shifters like us, understand Junior, that we're more wolf than man now that there's things that our wolf spirits demand, like a mate, the only way to have the gene passed on. It's in our nature as wolfs to be territorial and violent when it comes to defending our imprints, as you just saw with Jacob wolfing out when you told him that redhead is after you. He's only more aggressive because he's unmated, which means that you haven't completed the spirit ceremony with him, meaning your still vulnerable to outside threats; being bonded means you can hear each other's thoughts in the way the pack can hear each other's, but it's only you two."

"Spirit ceremony?" June catches the term and furrows brows. "What the hell is that?"

Sam looked awkward, "It's between the imprinter and imprinted," He explains lamely. "Between mates, like Jacob and you or Star and Jared or Lyanna and Embry—"

That was news to her and she let out a small gasp of surprise. It was why Jared was infatuated with Star, why Embry was hopeless with Lyanna, why Jacob looks at her like she's the sun and stars and every planet in between. She didn't doubt Sam imprinted on Emily then.

June swallows thickly, "Why does it sound so formal?"

"Because it kinda is," Sam laughs. "It's a tribal ceremony, a human equivalent to a wedding; but except this is much more than any mere marriage, it's for life, literally. Once you ... uh, how do I say ... bite one another, you bare the mark of your mate. Stating you belong to one another. After the spirit ceremony, your lives are tied forever, you will live as long as Jacob does and vice versa. Once imprints are bonded with their wolf, one cannot live without the other. If an imprint dies, the wolf's purpose for living is gone and they follow their imprint to death as well."

June listened to the words. Soulmate. And Bonding ceremony and when you die, so does he and vice versa. She remembered Melanie writing about dreading a ceremony and how she was certain the Spirits above had gotten her soulmate wrong and wanted to leave before Ephraim could make her complete them. But a deep panic set in her throat as she heard Sam's words again, if an imprint dies, the wolf's purpose for living is gone and they follow their imprint to death as well ...

"No," She says panicked, letting out a pained cry through her lips that had her cousins eyes widening. "I can't be his forever, Sam, what if it's a mistake— it has to be a mistake!"

Sam looked in anguish for his pack mate, "June, rejecting an imprint is the hardest and most emotionally painful things for both of you," He says immediately. "Do you not want to be with him—?"

June looks over to her cousin as she begins pacing, running her hands through her tangled blond hair. "It's not that, no, I'm not rejecting? No ..." She trailed off, shutting her eyes.

The thought of Jacob dying when she does is such a terrible thought that it shatters all hope of her boyfriend finding some peace and a happy life after her. June had this idealistic picture, it was so real that she might've painted it. It was Jacob, older and happy, about like seven children running around and hugging him. He was so happy in that dream; she wanted to be looking down at that face for the rest of his life, from wherever she rested. June takes a shaky breath as her tears fall and she looks back to Sam and has the most helpless expression on her face; she could tell her cousin, she could tell him that she's gonna die and that means Jacob would die too, and the protection of the tribe against vampires was too much and that Jacob had more to live for than just her. What a truly unfortunate circumstance. June processed all of it, tilting towards telling Sam, but his thoughts had a straight line to the pack and that meant Jacob would know, too. And she had just gotten him back, she didn't want to lose him again to this revelation. but then she remembered — after the spirit ceremony is the only way their lives would be tied together.

"Junior," Sam grabs her attention. "I know it's a scary concept ... if it's the forever part you're doubting, you shouldn't. You don't have to worry about him cheating, him leaving, him hurting you ... he'd sooner die than do that."

June glances to him with sad eyes, "That's the thing. I'm not worth dying for, Sam." She says lowly.

"You don't know what you're worth, Junior," Sam says. "I can see how difficult it is to understand but you're everything to him, everyday that he's unmated, that any of the pack is, is another ounce of the beast within us having more control — imprints are the light to us, in ever sense of the word. You can't know how much you're worth to him."

"We're too young to be dying for one another. Too young to die, period." June tries to evade the words he spoke, who could pass up such love and utter devotion? She takes a breath and sighs shakily, asking, "Are you and Emily ... are you two bonded?"

"Have we done the spirit ceremony?" He asks and she nods. He nods his head, a blush blooming on his handsome face as he smiled, "Yes, it's uh, it was a private thing. We skipped the formal gathering of it, anyone can. But Emily still wants a wedding with bridesmaids and cake and food."

"So," June gulps. "If she ever died—"

"I die, too." Sam confirms. "Happily. There isn't a place for me on this world without her, June. Same for Jacob. Same for Jared and Embry. Without our imprints—"

"No," June looks at the trees, the wind blowing through them. She shakes her head softly. "There has to be a mistake, Sammy. I can't be his forever." She says again. "I can't ... I'm not worth it, he deserves more."

"The Spirits don't make mistakes," He counters. Sam's face contorts for a moment and June knows that he must have the pack talking in his mind. He looks up at her. "Harry's ready for us, Leah and Seth are in Port Angeles. We got time to explain everything."

June crossed her arms, "There's more? Yay."

Sam nudged her softly, "When we get there, don't be surprised by Harry and Billy and Old Quil's reaction of you."

She frowned, "Reaction of me? They've known me since I was born, Sam."

"Yeah, when your powers weren't awoken," Sam reminds with a grin. "They haven't met Juniper Swan, Mender of the Quileute Pack."

"That's my official title? Gotta get that on a badge." June said, not surprised about Sam knowing about Menders, since apparently, they were completely involved with werewolves.

"Come on, they're waiting."

June gets into Sam's truck as they reach Emily's house, Emily waving at them as they left. June leaned her head on the window as she watched the forest pass them by as he drove over to Harry's. June didn't know what to take in of all the information she was given. Mates and wolves and forevers and ceremonies and dying with your soulmate because life without them wasn't an option. It was intense and too much and any other girl might've had a panic attack but June had proved multiple times that she wasn't another girl. June wondered, with everything that she was, what could she give Jacob besides a death wish and an empty life? Sam preached about this eternal devotion and June had never been more scared of it; she might've been the stupidest girl ever. And maybe, if she wasn't gonna die, she could be Jacob's forever. She'd give him those pretty kids she saw him having in her dreams. If, if, if. It nagged at her heart the whole way until they pulled into Harry Clearwater's driveway. Jacob's was there leaning on Jared's truck as he spoke with the guys but looked up, straight at her, as if he sensed she was there. His face bloomed into a adoring smile; June knew then that maybe she couldn't be Jacob's forever, but she'd try her hardest, her everything, to be his now.

IMPORTANT note: idk why im crying in the club rn???? so basically, i intensified the FUCK outta the imprint accept of the shape shifters — ive never read stephanie meyer have a actual reason™️ for imprinting, just that it was a thing to ensure the gene is continued on??? so for this twilight universe im making it as that shape shifters are part wolf, so naturally, theyre possessive and loyal and territorial of their pack and fam and ESPECIALLY of their mates but if they go too long without finding the one™️ they start getting more wolf than man, if you understand me??? they lose control quicker and basically their imprint is the light™️ to their darkness and all corny shit. and to further solidify their mate status, they have to preform a spirit ceremony which is basically like a wedding as sam said but a tribal ceremony and more significant; it shows that the wolf and his mate are one and then they have to bite one another yes, to leave like a mark signifying that they're mated ( I thought of this way too throughly ) but more of this will be explained but that's basically the gist of it  :))))

but also,,, chapter moodboard: