『 chapter xvi: DEAD GIRL WALKING.  』

FIFTEEN-YEAR OLD JUNIPER SWAN WAS GONE. Ever since the Leo girl had a birthday on July twenty-fourth, she was sixteen year old Juniper Swan. Nothing changed about it, really. She was still hoping to die, she had blonde hair which was darkening to a more honey color, her eyes were still really blue, and she still had strange bruises scattering her arms and legs and wrists. Oh, yeah and she could still make plants appear and she healed Patrick Verona's paw when he ran into a briar shrub and got scratched, even though her grandmothers eyes when she saw the bruise on her arm from that simple action told her she wasn't supposed to ( his whining was heartbreaking, fuck anyone who said a dog wasn't important). Her birthday party was a really homely thing that had her sickened by the sweetness of it all, her school disciples were all around her wishing her another year of goodness and vocally hoping that she'd remain the demon queen of high school, secretly she was overthrown, but still hoping she'd be using her social powers to either delete or add anyone she pleases.

                June never saw herself as a reckoning social force, but she was no longer sweet sophomore Juniper Swan. She was junior June Swan, now the Forks High cheerleading captain ever since mean girl ( but nice to her ) Carly Montgomery left for Seattle last month. So naturally, June took the empty pedestal to her own leisure. And maybe it was because she could feel her impending death now more than ever and this was some sorta awakening or grieving, or both, probably both, but June was feeling superior. But it had to do with the perpetual entitlement that came with being a pretty blonde in a small town where the most exciting thing that could happen was having their football team go to state, which they did, surprisingly. Had she lived in a normal world, correction: had she still lived obliviously in this wacky world, June's biggest problem might be Jessica Stanley vying for her spot to be the queen bitch.

Alas, that wasn't the case — June wasn't oblivious, she wasn't just another blonde, her biggest enemy wasn't Jessica Stanley or Lauren Kingston, or Sam's annoyingly watchful eyes, it was time. Time. She didn't have a lot of it, she knew. And time loved to rub that in her face it seemed. Because months had flown by, five to be exact. June's mother was glowing with her pregnancy and Charlie was over the moon; for the first time, June knew what Daphne was talking about every time she mentioned being pregnant with June and how happy Charlie was.

                            June rushes down the stairs, pulling on a thick jean jacket, catching her reflection in the mirror; she frowned, noticing another bruise splotched on her thigh, just where her cheer skirt reached. She hadn't used her weird affliction in a while — she pulled her skirt down a bit lower. Patrick Verona trots down the steps alongside her and she leaves the front door open a bit so he can go out and do his business. She smiles when he licks her hand on the way out.

"Hey, sunshine," Her mom greets her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Sleep good?"

"As good as I could." June smiles lazily.

"Morning, June-Bug," Charlie chimes to her as he took a sip of his coffee, reading a newspaper. "You say happy birthday to your sister, yet?"

June unconvincingly sighed, "I'll tell her later."

Charlie and Daphne shared a look while Daphne was putting some cream cheese on a bagel and some pop-tarts in the toaster. "She was the first one to say it to you on your special day, missy." Her mom told her.

"I said I'll tell her later."

"June, just get on up there—" Charlie grumbled.

"I'm busy, dad." June dismisses, texting a reply to Angela who asked if she could borrow some lipgloss.

"Juniper, please not right now—" Daphne sighed.

June turned, going to get her bag. Bella wasn't her favorite person at the moment; she hasn't been for a while, to be honest. Not since a month after the whole Tracker-fiasco when Bella proclaimed to June how she wished to become a vampire soon, to be with Edward forever. June had never been more betrayed, more sickened, more disappointed in her sister than in that moment. Thankfully their parents weren't home to hear June scream about how she didn't want Bella to do that, how the sixteen year old girl yelled at her older sister about being selfish and ungrateful and completely out of her mind. They hadn't talked much as they normally would but June missed talking to Bella, she missed being with her and taking late night driving lessons ( a thing that June finally relented in learning ) and going to the beach down in La Push and staring at the waves as they cuddled up with blankets and hot chocolate and talked about life and what they wanted from it — Bella was the girl who wanted to live forever and June was the sister that wanted to die now.

  Bella came down the stairs, her Virgo sister having a birthday on this day, tucking a brown strand of hair behind her ear as she smiled. "Morning." She greeted them.

Daphne smiled grandly, "Morning, birthday girl!" She said and went to give her stepdaughter a big hug, cautious of the large stomach she had on her now. "Oh, eighteen! I remember you were just two when I met you, sweetheart, now look."

"Thanks, Daphne," Bella says genuinely, a hand on her stepmothers stomach. "How's it going in there?"

"Kicking constantly," Daphne sighs with a smile that says she wouldn't have it any other way. "Maybe it'll be a soccer player or something."

June snickers a bit and it catches Bella's attention. Caught, she knows she has no other option but to tell her happy birthday. "Happy birthday, Bells." She says softly, a small quirks of her lips tugging.

Bella visibly beams, "Thanks, June."

"Presents!" Daphne breaks the ice and bounds over to the table, Charlie helping her reach for the flat looking scrapbook that Renée had sent for Bella. "Your Mom insisted you have some scrapbook of mementoes for your senior-year, isn't that a good idea? And Charlie and I got you this." She says while handing Bella a small pink camera.

Bella grabs it with a smile, "Wow, thank you, guys."

"Your mother coordinated me," Charlie rolls his eyes.

"Thankfully," Daphne chimes. "We were stumped with what to get you — we know you said no presents or party like we did for June's birthday but we had to do something."

"No, no, it's perfect," Bella assures.

"So, any plans for tonight?" Daphne asks as she hands Bella a plate of toast bread.

Bella takes it with a mumbled thanks and shrugs, "Edward hasn't said anything, but, knowing him ..."

"Oh, yeah, the eternal gentleman," June says as she jumps up on the counter and her mom gives her a look. "What? You know he's gonna shower you in some Swarovski crystals and a matching Volvo."

Bella looks down as she eats her toast and shrugs again, shaking her head. "Did you want a ride? I'm leaving in a bit." She asks.

June waits a bit, knowing her parents are giving her a look. She had been catching rides with Mike or with Angela or even the bus when she woke up late — she didn't want to talk to Bella and hear more inane reasons why she wanted to become some paler bloodsucker. Not that she hated the Cullen's, Rosalie was everything to her as was Emmett and Jasper who had filled the void that Sam had left empty from ditching her for his little brotherhood of the traveling jean shorts.

June nods as she bites into the pop tart her mom hands her. "Yeah, sure." She mumbles, hopping off the counter and kissing her dads cheek and hugging her mom. "Bye, Love you."

"Love you, girls." Charlie called out.

"Have a great day, Bella!" Daphne follows up.

Her older sister and she get out of the house, June whistling by the door to call Patrick back in. She rubs his fur before she walks down the steps and into Bella's lovely rusty truck. There's a small silence that fills the truck as they get to the school until Bella, as usual, speaks, "I heard from someone that you're giving Mike Newton a second chance?"

June spares her a glance, "Who's that someone?"

"Just talk at school," Bella says. "Are you?" She presses and then goes on. "I thought so only because you hadn't gone to visit Jacob almost all summer, or anyone at the Reservation for that matter."

June looks out the window. Jacob. That's an ache in her chest she can't shake; she promised him there was hope they could be something. Because there was. They could have some epic love and she'd die being loved — the problem was, she couldn't deal with the fact of how selfish that was. Dying and having him love her the entire time knowing in her heart that she was going to leave him in the end. She couldn't do that to him. She could do to it to anyone else. But for the love of anything good, not him. He had came to her birthday party for a bit but June was flocked from both sides by Leah Clearwater and Elodie Littlesea and Star Connolly and Lyanna Young and the poor guy was super intimidated by the girl gang and didn't approach only to wish her a happy birthday and leave her a dreamcatcher he had gotten her ( it's hung nicely on the board of her bed) and that's all. So not going to the Reservation and seeing him, or conveniently leaving when Billy and he showed up at her house to watch a game with Charlie ... it was something she had to do.

"I've just been busy," June says in truth. "Cheer and Sully's has been working double shifts and I've been helping my mom ... but no, I'm not talking to Mike again."

"He really likes you."

"A lot of people like me." June retorts. "I'm me."

Bella nodded, "That's true."

June sighed, "Why don't you just ask me what you really want to ask me, Bella?"

Bella looked nervous, biting her lip and tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, "If you're still mad at me."

June knew it. "I don't know what to tell you—"

"Would it really be such a bad thing?" Bella asks, her brown eyes on her as she parks in the parking lot of the school. She turns her body to face her. "Me becoming one of them? Isn't that argument you're using the same thing you hate Sam and his little posse for doing?"

"I don't hate the Cullen's, that's the difference," She said icily. "I'm nothing like Sam. It doesn't even have anything to do with them—"

"Then what, June?!" Bella cried out, helpless. "Tell me. You don't talk to me anymore, just talk to me because I don't know what's wrong. You haven't been yourself, ever since ... ever since—"

"Ever since I killed James." June finishes with a nod, looking to her sister with a numb expression. "What'd you think? That I'd kill the vampire that wanted to kill me and almost die and have my best friend almost killed in front of me and everything would just go back to normal, Bella? I'm not normal, didn't Edward tell you? I make plants come to life by touching them and I can heal people but not without cost. I'm head over heels for a guy whom I've probably been in love with my whole life but I can't like him because I'm—" June stops herself, feeling the burning of tears pricking her eye. "I know I'm not the same. It sucks, I know. Try looking at yourself in the mirror, seeing I what see. But I can't just go on with my life, Bella, not like before."

Bella reaches over, grabbing her hand, "I'm sorry." She croaks out. "I'm sorry ... it's my fault. I brought you into my mess, I don't know what I was thinking ... I wasn't thinking."

June blinks slowly, "It's not your fault." She says, but she doesn't know who's she trying to convince.

"Still." Bella argues. "I didn't know what killing James must've been for you, mentally ... but I think you knowing how Victoria's still out there, it's just making things worse."

June hadn't thought of the redheaded woman, truthfully. In her nightmares, all she saw was red cloaks and a large clock tower and a fiery pain with a single look ... those were her nightmares. "Maybe, Yeah." June nods. "I just have to know ... are you willing to never see me again? And dad? And what about the baby that's coming? You're gonna leave me to deal with that bambino alone?"

"June, I won't turn any time soon," Bella swears, as if that's any better. "But eventually, I will. I love you, you're my sister and I love our family but I want Edward, I can't have him while I'm human. Not forever."

June grips her backpack, hand on the door handle as she sees a shiny Volvo pull into the lot, "I don't think you know what forever even means, Bella." She says brokenly, yanking the door open. "It won't mean a thing when everyone you love is dead." 

            June gets out without another word but hears Bella get off as well, but she rushes to the entrance of the school and doesn't make it a thing to look behind her. Edward sees her and smiles but she doesn't respond, she just keeps walking. She feels tears pouring down her face, the ire and the unfairness of everything in the world rushing over her. June feels the familiar warmth glimmer over her palms and she wills it away, she doesn't want it. She doesn't want to think about how her sister feels old compared to the eternal youth of Edward or the fact she's basically calling herself some elderly eighteen year old. June didn't want to think about it and so she doesn't — the liquid that looks like water in her coffee cup helps her to forget as well.

•—•—•

WHEN ALICE ANNOUNCES THAT HER FAMILY IS throwing something for Bella, she gives her a look that tells her you're going, too. Leave it to Alice to want to plan all last minute and gift both Bella and June with clothes to wear for the party. A lavish gift that was always given with hesitant hands when it came to the dead girl that was June Swan — they were hesitant of her, and they should be. She killed one of their kind that was much stronger than they were. June understood the fear. She was scared of herself sometimes. School had never felt more inane but always was made a little better by the end of the day, but the hard liquor she had tried to down to erase her anxiety hadn't affected her in the least bit, but she started feeling a little better when she replaced the empty coffee cup with more of its toxic contents as she reached for the bottle of moonshine that was hidden behind her textbooks in her locker. June had tried it at a whim at first, alone in her room with the movie Lost Boys playing in the back, it had made her mind fuzzy and her once sleepless nights not only sleepy but nightmare free. Moonshine. Who would've thought that Juniper Swan — once so sugary sweet and the lovely pure prude — would be hiding moonshine in her thermal coffee cup and sip it like it was what it was intended for.

              June would've curled her lip upwards back then if she knew someone was doing what she was doing a year ago, before it all; maybe mindlessly she would've bitchily called someone a raging alcoholic. How the tables have turned. She walked the halls of school with some kind of superiority complex because she knows she is more special than everyone else, she had killed a vampire, plus half of her body is filled with poison and the other half is some wacky magic that is killing her all the same. But drinking had been a good balance for the pain that used to shake her body into tremors. Now, every time June got a bruise from making a plant appear or something, she downed some liquor to eliminate the pain.

                   Walking home had been a good ease of the mind; thankfully Bella didn't look for her. June much preferred her headphones, blaring some musical in her ears and her hands in her varsity jacket as the patter of rain slapped the leather of it. She walked up the steps to her house but paused, shutting her eyes and looking up to feel the cold rain hit her face. Her skin had been feverish for weeks now. She sees Bella's truck parked already and curses lowly, knowing her dad or her mom were gonna give her a look that said why didn't you get a ride with your sister?

If they noticed her change in behavior, they said nothing of it but Daphne was probably the pacifier of it all. She opened the door and her entire face lit up when she saw Patrick waiting for her by the stairs, "Patty! My favorite man." Patrick made a barking yip and rushed to her, June bending down to hug her dog.

"Why didn't you get a ride with your sister?" Daphne's voice chimes as soon as she stood up.

"I wanted to walk," June shrugged, going to walk up the stairs but her mom blocked her. She sighed. "Excuse me."

Daphne narrowed her icy eyes at her, sniffing a bit before they widened in some short of disbelief, "Juniper," She said lowly, hesitant. "Have you — been drinking?"

June stiffened, feeling a burning anger up in her throat as she went around her pregnant mother and through the small space she left. "I'm going to my room."

"Juniper?" Daphne's voice was sterner, blinking rapidly as she fought back tears in her ultramarine blue eyes.

"What, Mom?" June snapped, agitated.

"Tell me what's wrong with you, you've been—"

June groaned loudly, rubbing her face as she kept her face as frowned as she could. "Don't start, mom. Don't. I'm fine, I'm not drunk. I'm fine, I need to get ready, Bella's having a party thrown for her by the Cullen's." She said going up the steps, calling for Patrick to follow and not looking back at the disproving look.

June doesn't want to hear her mom go on because she already knows what she's been like. She's been like this for months now. She used to smile a lot and cry and laugh at everything — but now all she felt was angry. She hated what she was and how she was dealing with herself and she wasn't gonna do anything to stop herself. She just was what she was and she was gonna die anyway so it's not like being the princess of purity would help her live longer. She sat down after putting a record on the vinyl player, letting Patrick lay down by the open window because he liked the way the icy rain hit his face too. She combed through her blonde hair until it shined like honey, applied some makeup and some red lipstick — her grandmother always gave her a look when she did and she used that feeling of rebellion when she smeared it on her lips. June pulled the dress on, sighing at the silk feeling of the spaghetti strap cloth. She clipped on a diamond necklace that had some of the ashes of her grandfather Gregory Uley in it. She was feeling nostalgic and she missed the man and his kind words and plus, it went well with the cream color of the silk dress.

Edward picked up them right around seven and Charlie sent his daughters a disapproving look as they walked down the stairs but told them to have a good time nevertheless with a nudge from Daphne.

She gave a playful glare when Edward said, opening the door for them as they arrived at his house, "You look nice."

"I know," She says flippantly.

"Oh, right," Edward says as if he forgot. "You're hanging out with Rosalie too much — she's turned you into a shallow reflection of herself."

"Jokes on you, I've always been shallow." June smirks.

Edward eyes her weirdly but she's too uncaring to see any meaning behind it. June goes into the familiar foyer of the Cullen's home and hangs her coat, her feverish skin relishing the way the house was an icy temperature, she felt like she was on fire sometimes. Edward led Bella to the living room while they waited for Alice to finish the last minute set-up for Bella's birthday. June was gonna sit down when she caught sight of a very old looking oil painting — she was naturally fascinated by it, going over to get a better look.

"– they're a very old, very powerful family, they're called the Volturi." June heard Edward's low voice sound from the back of her. "The closest thing to royalty that my world has."

When June turned, she saw Edward and Bella looking at the same painting that she was, a somber and tight expression on Edward's face. She realizes the people in the painting must be the same beautiful creatures that Edward and his family were. Vampires, the hierarchy was evident in the photo the way the three men — two dark haired and one with snowy white locks — looked down at the crowds of humans seemingly climbing up for help. Very old and very powerful. The Volturi.

            June squinted her eyes at the painting. "Is that doc?" She asks, pointing at a man who looked clearly like Carlisle.

Edward smiled at her nickname, but soon after his brows furrowed and he nodded, answering her question. "Yeah," He says. "He lived with them for a few decades. Described them as very refined – no respect for human life of course, but respect for the arts, the sciences. And the law. Above all, the law."

June wondered about that. She overlooked it, but she wondered about it, more than she should. Like where vampires came from — how they were created, who or what created them? Every single being in this world started somewhere, came from something, she was a result of the Spirits of her tribe and the magic in her blood and nature's will– she didn't vampires were an exception to creation.

"Vampires have laws?" Bella asks, mirroring her thoughts.

Edward nods. "Not very many," He explains. "There's only one that's spoken out and its regularly enforced."

"And what's that?" June asks, her voice low.

Edward shrugged, stuffing his hands in his slack pockets. "To keep the existence of our kind a secret. We don't make spectacles of ourselves — don't kill conspicuously. Unless of course, you want to die ..." He trailed off.

June mused to herself, don't we all?

The youngest Swan noticed that her older sister was shaking her head, biting nervously at her finger. "You have to stop talking about that — I can't even think of someone hurting you." Her voice was cracked.

Edward smiled somberly down at her older sister. "Bella, the only person that can hurt me is you," He tells her. "I don't have anything else to be afraid of."

June's eyes rolled again, losing count of how many times she's rolled them and began to turn to walk off. "Ugh, get one of the hundreds of rooms in this house."

"That's not true." She hears as Bella interjects, talking to Edward. Her chocolate irises flicker to June who's arms are crossed and they seem to soften as she says to the both of them. "Victoria? She'll come for us one day."

June's eyes hardened, "Big whoop," She says loftily, raising a arched brow. "I'll rip her apart the way I did to that rejected Calvin Klein model."

Edward seemed disgruntled by her words, "Hopefully it won't come to that. Alice will see when she decides, we'll be ready." He tells the sisters.

"I can protect you, if you change me." Bella chides lowly, not meeting June's burning gaze.

June didn't want to hear this argument again. She turned around and grabbed the glass of champagne that was sitting for Edward and Bella. She downed it quickly and saw Bella giving her a disapproving look. June smiled, tipping the empty glass to her.

"It's my job to protect you both," Edward said, taking the glass from the sixteen year old and looks at Bella with a soft smile while June scoffs. He glances behind them. "From everyone except my sister."

Alice is the sister apparently because she comes out of the room and has a jump in her step as she clasps her hands together. "It's time, it's time, it's time!" Alice squeals, grabbing Bella's hands as she gestures them into another room.

June is surprised by the decor of the room. It's illuminated by candles galore and goes against her feverish skin, it feels like the dress is her second skin. The ivory walls look as if they're lights as well but it's only the reflection that the candles ricochet on the home. There's the Cullen's standing right in the middle of the dining room area — their smiles are beautiful as them, June sees Rosalie before anyone else and the fellow blonde seemed to do the same. June slips past Bella who stays frozen at the steps from the little shindig they threw for her. June rushed into Rosalie's arms and the blond greeted her whole Alice snapped some photos of Bella and Edward. Emmett nudged her lightly and June became up at him.

"You looking forward to driving the Jeep?" Emmett chimes with a waggle of his brows. "If you can drive that piece of crap truck of your sister — no offense Bella, oh, and I installed a stereo in it — then the Jeep shouldn't be a problem."

"It's not even a question," June smirked. "I'm done feeling like a dork driving around crusty rusty—"

"Um, don't hate the truck," Bella frowned, but laughed. 

Rosalie was called by Alice to hand her present to Bella but quickly told her what it was and how Alice was the one to pick it out. Bella thanked her and then was handed the big box that was empty because Emmett had already installed it before Carlisle handed her what he got her. Rosalie let June get a sip of her champagne, Rosalie was her best friend and saving each other's lives had only made them closer, and so she knew all about June's problem sleeping.

    "Just a little something to brighten up your day," Carlisle says to the present Bella tries to unwrap, locking his arm around Esme.

Esme nods, a fond smile on her lips. "Yes, you've been looking a little pale lately."

June can see Bella's face contort at the irony. In everything that June was prepared for, she wasn't prepared for what happened after she watches as Bella jumps back, a small hiss leaving her lips. For some reason, the air changed, June could feel a thick presence and it was skin crawling and made her palms heat up — they were probably glowing if June took a second to pull her eyes away from the scene in front of her. As if on some freak instinct, June immediately took a step forward. Bella raised her index finger up, and June noticed with a horrible realization that she got a paper cut, in a room full of vampires. June's heart dropped and she felt anxiety course through her as she heard a snarl come from somewhere, noticing it was Jasper. With a ravenous look in his eyes, June felt the world move in slow motion as she saw the bronze haired vampire start for her older sister. Before June could react, Edward was already throwing Jasper backwards, making him land on the large piano and crushing it with the force. June snapped her head to see that Edward had also thrown Bella backwards — away from Jasper. June rushed to her sisters side, instinctively pulling Bella behind her as she looked up to see Jasper snarling at Bella as he was restrained by Carlisle and Emmett both.

    June's narrows her eyes at Jasper, blue irises turning into slits as she looks at the family who turned their attention on Bella — who had much more than a small paper cut now, since she slammed into the small counter table and was pierced with shard of glass from the vase. Blood was now dropping down from her arm where the glass was embedded, dripping and falling and pouring.

"Get him away," June's voice didn't sound like her own as she uttered the warning.

After a beat, Emmett took Jasper away, Esme and Rosalie after them, the blonde giving her a crestfallen look. Alice sprinted out in shame, stammering an apology as she left. Rosalie paused by the doorway, giving an apologetic look to June, who didn't respond to it — she was too focused on making sure the threat to Bella was out of them room. Rosalie left without another gesture. June pulled Bella into her arms, Carlisle suddenly vamp speeding to their side as he kneeled down and took a look at Bella's arm. June might've snapped at him to stay away, but she knew he was the only one who knew who to help Bella.

"This will need stitches," Carlisle says, examining the damage on Bella's arm. "I'll patch this up in my office."

June looked at her older sisters face. She saw that Bella wasn't looking at her, but behind her. June followed her line of vision and raged at what she saw. Edward was looking at the sisters, an unreadable expression in his eyes and features. He saw Juniper's face before anyone else's, her blue eyes blazing like the end of a flame of which she could probably use to burn everyone with one look if she could. The next moments pass in a blur, when Carlisle takes Bella to get stitched up all June kept thinking was how Jasper could've killed Bella. Their previous battle would've been for nothing because one of their own team members had put Bella in harms way. June saw how Jasper had the same look James did when he first smelled Bella's scent in the clearing all those months ago ... June would never forget it. The ride home after Carlisle patched up Bella was silent and June slams the door as Edward parks on the driveway, not giving him a look back. June numbly walks up the stairs to her room, seeing Charlie asleep on the couch and passing by the master bedroom to see Daphne drifting off as well. Patrick waits for her, as always, and she slides down on her door as she shuts it.

The reflection of the mirror shows a blonde girl in a pretty dress, barley sixteen, blue eyed and lovely and longing for her own death — and how the girl hopes she doesn't live long enough to see anyone else's.

note: and new moon is here !!!!! 🌚🌚🌚 June's going through the common stages of grief and the drinking is an important part of her character because I wanted to make it realistic, some people cope with their mental pain in many ways and June's is liquor because it helps her sleep at night without any nightmares or a violent painting painting episode of the scary things she sees. yay the Cullen's leave in the next chapter and the plot IVE BEEN DEADASS WAITING FOR COMES IN ❤❤❤