『 CHAPTER i: pretty enough ! 』

SEVEN-FIFTEEN IN THE MORNING, & June Swan was already all dressed up for another day of another month of another year she was going through. But luckily, it wasn't like she had to think about her outfit much anyway — the navy blue and gold cheer outfit had seen many Friday's since its wearer had joined the squad ( or had been forced into joining but that's neither here nor there ) in the beginning of her sophomore year. June takes one last chance look in the mirror, pretty enough, she tells herself and adjusts her dirty blonde hair in a more snug position so that the massive cheer bow in her hair doesn't shift position throughout the day. It most likely will, but the assurance that she tried satisfies her enough. She stares a tad longer in the mirror this time, she had been doing the same thing for a while now.

            June sees the same thing she always does: blue eyes a little too blue to be considered just another pair of blue eyes, dirty blonde hair she inherited from her dads's mother, Helen, and the skin pale enough to be a citizen of Forks but also holding the deep olive tone to be reminded everyone that her mother was from the Reservation of La Push. She liked looking into the mirror and looking at the same reflection because it could very well be the last time she looked at herself. Or so she so melodramatically reasoned in her very fuzzy, and very morbid, brain.

Dial time back to when little June was littler June, aged eight to be exact, and her mom's mom, her grandma Iris, had pulled her into her magic room ( which June now knew was just where her kookie grandmother stored her cultural mementos and potions and oils and whatnot ) and sat her down before she told her with a tearful face, June-Bug? You must live life as you can, for it'll end sooner than most peoples do ... you'll die so beautiful looking I've seen it ... you'll die with your heart in your hand, and when you close your eyes you'll only ever open them again when the moon is full on a sunny day and the stone people scatter the grounds of the meadow and sparkle like diamonds in the dirt. June hadn't known what the hell her grandmother was talking about; only that her mom, Daphne, had got June from the room and rubbed her back softly as she cried, telling her mom, I don't want to die, mommy. June can't remember Daphne ever yelling at anyone, but she yelled at her grandmother Iris that day. Daphne then packed two suitcases full of of their clothes and left June with her dad, Charlie, while she took off without another word. Daphne eventually came back after a week or two with a ( much younger ) boyfriend from Portland and a shoulder tattoo and breath smelling of alcohol.

It had been that way ever since. Since age eight, June had been a subject of a prophetic death — her own. She hadn't had her mom, the old Daphne, who loved Charlie Swan and didn't drink and have a shoulder tattoo and didn't have that constant fear of losing her only daughter. But she had her dad, the sheriff of Fork's, who thankfully, knew nothing about his youngest daughter's morbid fascination with her awaited death.

            Because she hadn't lived her life any differently ( she thinks ) since her grandma Iris told her she was gonna die. Besides the initial sobs, she continued to be the perfect pigtailed princess who played dress up with her dad while he wore a cape and pretended to be her hero, even though he really was, because she credits Charlie's unwavering love as the only reason she hadn't taken upon herself to complete her destiny.

"June," Her dad knocked on her door as he called her. "Is Elodie picking you up or am I taking you?"

June immediately quieted her vinyl player, cautiously taking the needle off the record, the song No Headstone on My Grave by Esther Phillips ceased playing. She was a sucker for things older than her, in music terms, she didn't have issues; anything 60's and earlier was her thing and 80's struck a cord in her too, but she really didn't have a preference in music. She just really liked knowing that she listened to the silken voices of people that were as dead as she was going to be one day — it was too bad she couldn't sing, she'd surely leave a song for her family.

       June yanked open the door, slugging her cheer bag over her shoulder, smiling at her dad. "Morning, old man."

Charlie grinned at her, "I'm gonna miss these morning ego boosts when you're off to college, kiddo."

College June Swan; she never let herself think that far. It was a pretty enough picture. Something her mind would absentmindedly think about when her friends would chatter about test scores and the yearning to study abroad. June only wondered what color of plastic flowers would people put on her grave. She was going to be a junior barely, but her dad thought it was nice to poke and prod, all without hovering, about college.

    "What if I told you, morning old man, you're looking spiffy?, how about that?" June cheekily said, handing him her cheer bag as she got her backpack and shut the door behind her.

Charlie chuckled. "Spiffy, huh? Yeah. I guess you're okay then."

June nodded, going down the stairs as he followed her. She rushed to grab her orange juice bottle and smiled to herself as she saw a pop tart already tucked in a napkin; her dad always made one for her, every morning, while she got up a little earlier to brew some coffee for him.

"To answer your questions," June said she took a bite of her pop tart. "You gotta take me. They took the car from Elodie, something about running over her moms garden or a mailbox ..."

"I've given that girl so many warnings," Charlie shook his head as he took the coffee mug she handed him. "How did she even get a permit anyway?"

"I think the Forks DMV got annoyed with how many times she failed and kept coming back," June shrugged.

They walked out the door with Charlie locking it behind her. The chilly air hits her cheeks and feels like she washed her face all over again with icy water. She shivered and pulls her hoodie tighter around her head and rubs her mitts together. The cruiser her dad owns might be the most plain and dull cop car ever to exist but she finds it so comforting to see. While most would say yikes! she was like, oh, my dad has one like that whenever a cop car drove by.

Her dad placed his cup on the top of the car when he furrowed his brows, "Why don't you get a permit? Don't girls usually love driving everywhere themselves, all that independent stuff?"

June paused. Because dead girls don't need cars. "I much rather have people turn into my own personal chauffeur," She flashed a smile. "Plus in my mind, it's more independent to have someone drive you where you want to go."

Charlie laughed, "There's nothing more reasonable than June's reasoning," He says as they get into the cruiser, setting his mug on the cup holder. "But really, I could teach you if you wanted—"

"Dad, no," June says almost too quickly. He looks at her. She smiles again. "You're way too busy with work and stuff, I don't want to bother—"

"June-Bug," Her dad had softened. She felt like crying. "You're never a bother, don't go saying stuff like that. I mean, you working at Sully's Diner, saving up for who knows what?"

Funerals are costly.

"—and you help around the house all the time," Her dad continues. "I know it's a little ... weird when your mom comes around but you're not a bother, ever. If you want to learn to drive, I can make some time, for you it's not an issue."

Again, it was a pretty picture, pretty enough to be a driving and independent chick, with her own car and not worrying about how she was gonna here or there. Usually she took the bus whenever Elodie got her car taken from her or her dad left really early for work, and the other option was walking, which she loved doing if it wasn't raining uber hard.

June put on her best smile and said, "I'm fine, chief. Really. It's not in my agenda at the moment, soon, yeah, but I'm not into it right now." She says to him.

Charlie leaves it at that. He turns on the cruiser and June finished what she has left of her Pop Tart as Charlie warms up the car, the windows fogging up a bit. "I have some news for you," Charlie announces as if he had forgotten. "I got it late last night, you were still at Elodie's doing that project ... I didn't want to bother you even later ..."

"What's up?" June asks, sipping her orange juice.

"Bella's coming to stay with us."

June stopped sipping. She glanced at her dad, blue eyes wide. He nodded with a sigh. Bella was her older sister. Her older half sister but June never cared to make that distinction. Her dad had been with Bella's mom before June's — hence why they're only a year apart. The way June understood it, her dad was a vulnerable hunk who just had his month old daughter and wife up and leave him and leave it to her Gemini of a mother, Daphne Uley herself, to take advantage of a broken heart and use their age old friendship to have a good night that resulted in Juniper being born nine months later. From what June remembers of Bella, because she remembers so little, she rarely visited, was that she was very pretty. Pretty enough to be the sister of June Swan, people would say to themselves when they saw the two little girls together all those years ago. She was sort of quite too, June remembers a Christmas when Waylon Forge had the kids of the town sing carols and Bella had only jumped up when June pulled her hand to follow her. Bella had always been a nice big sister, she would sleep with June because June was scared of the dark and Charlie didn't have night lights.

"I haven't seen her in a long time," June says firstly.

"Me, either." Charlie agrees.

"But that's cool," June decides, a hint of excitement of having a older sister, old enough to share secrets with and share a laugh. "When is she coming? For how long?"

Charlie smiles at her excitement as he reverses from the driveway, "I pick her up next week on Wednesday at the airport," He says. "Looks like she's staying for the rest of the school year. Says she wants to let Renee travel with her husband for a while."

June nods to herself, taking the information in. "It'll be nice having her around. Ooohh! I gotta tell Elodie. You think Bella's still as cool as she was?"

"From when you were four and five?" Charlie laughs a bit at her words. "I'm sure she might be. Though I don't know if y'all still fit in those tutu's you used to share."

June smiles. "She's what? A junior, right? I'll have a sister who's a junior! Wow. Exciting." She smiles more to herself. "Wait! What if she thinks I'm too ..."

Charlie glances at her, "Too what?"

June shrugs, "I dunno, peppy? According to Google, I'm kind of a stereotype. Ya know, the cheerleader from a small town ... but she's from Arizona, she's big city, so she's probably got amazing tan lines and pretty blond hair."

"I'm sure she has brown hair."

"People can dye their hair, pops," June reminds tersely, tapping her finger on her lip. "She probably plays volleyball, too. You think she plays volleyball? I think so. Ugh. She'll think I'm super lame—"

"She won't think you're lame, June-Bug." Charlie shake his head at her. "You're amazing to me, and my amazing meter is in pretty high standards. Maybe you should draw her something for her room, yeah? Like a welcoming present or something. You're pretty damn good with a paintbrush."

June was pretty damn good with a paint brush. The walls of her bedroom were lined with paintings and drawings and little doodles here and there — most were of snowy mountaintops, meadows, and wolves running around the forest. Since the summer she had a certain gravitation to drawing a large black wolf, alone in the woods, howling up at the moon. She had been drawing since her grandmother had given her the knowledge about her untimely destiny. Most of the times what she drew was what she dreamed of, and if she dreamed about it too much, she ended up drawing it and she'd never dream about it again until she had a the same dream but something added to it.

   "Yeah, that's actually a good idea," June says already wondering what she could draw. "Maybe I could draw her the desert? Arizona is all desert. To ease some homesickness for her."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll start on it when I get home," June says.

Charlie nods. "By the way, your aunt Allison called."

June just blinked. Her mom's sister-in-law calling was a normal thing, usually because her uncle Joshua was coming to them for money and Allison knew June always handled stuff like that. Her mom's brother was sorta exactly like his sister.

"What did she say?"

"Something about your cousin," Charlie sighed heavily. "Billy was telling me that Sam was missing for two weeks, not call or anything, she didn't call us because she said he was old enough to be out and she didn't think anything bad until well ... Allison was really worried. He came back a few days ago."

Sam running away? Worrying his mother? Unheard of in terms of her cousin. He was always trying to be best he could be; something to show the Reservation that he wasn't as much of a deadbeat as Joshua Uley was. It didn't seem like him.

"No one told me," June says, suddenly worried too. "If that's what you're asking?"

"Allison called to see if Sam had came to you for money like his dad," Charlie gave her a sympathy look and she frowned. "Or if he came to you at all. I told her I'd ask you."

"Sam never came to me," June says honestly. "His girlfriend Leah called me a bunch of times, but every time I asked why didn't she just call him, she would hang up."

"Yeah, well, he's home now."

June pursed her lips, "Maybe I should go see grandma Iris? Then casually stop by. Ask what the heck is up with him."

Charlie gave her another look, "Your mom doesn't like you visiting your grandma."

"She's my grandma," June reasons. "She's old."

"And anything but frail," Charlie jokes. "Billy and Old Quil say she'll outlive them all just on her personality."

June hums, "Still. I know mom doesn't like it, but mom isn't here. She's in Texas? I think? Her boyfriend was named Gavin, it sounds like a cowboy name."

"Not all Texans are Cowboys, June," Charlie laughs as they pull into the school. "Don't be stereotyping, now, you hear?"

June grins wider. She sees the fancy cars of the Cullen family pull up by them and raises her brow. "Ok but come on, how can not stereotype them as a bunch of rich kids?" She gestures to their vehicles. "Like what even? They're all beautiful too, you know they use the name-brand face products instead of the generic too ..."

"Get to school," Charlie laughs.

June smiles. "I'm calling Elodie to pick me up. Don't worry. I work late anyway, so stop by for some food."

Charlie nods. "Love ya. Study hard."

June salutes him. "Love you too. Fight crime harder."

Charlie smiles at her again as she shuts the door and gets her backpack from the trunk. She taps the car and her dad drives off. She's adjusting the strap to her bag when she looks up, feeling her skin start to crawl for some reason. As she finds the source, all she can see is Edward Cullen staring right at her. It wasn't weird; he always did that. No matter how gorgeous he was, ever since he and his family moved here at the beginning of her freshman year, he had always looked at her like she ran over his dog. Edward Cullen staring at her like she was some ghost was nothing new. Except this time moment, she feels her heart race quickly, and her palms start to heat up — looking down at them, she's bewildered to see that at the center of her palms, they're golden ... glowing almost. Pretty enough to be awed at but scary enough for June to gasp loudly, looking around her to thankfully have nobody in sight. When she looks back up, Edward Cullen isn't in sight.

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