『 chapter xlii : BLUE IS THE COLOR OF HER. 』

JUNIPER LOVED WEDDINGS. SHE HAD BEEN TO about three in her entire lifetime; one time, to the owner of her favorite plant nursery, Miss Fallaway's, ( Now Mrs. Sawyer ) who married the kind and older Mr. Sawyer who owned the gas station down by Jostens Avenue. Another time when her fellow waitress, Brittany, from Sully's diner got hitched to husband number four in the spring last year. And lastly, Wilma Traynor from the Rez got married to Collin Littlesea's older brother Casey a few months ago. But they were all lovely occasions, all very different, no same color scheme or table setting. The guests were the best part, June believed. No one guest was the same either. Each person had their own back story and came from a different place and some were not even related to the couple, but just friends of relatives, who paused their lives to witness something magical. All coming down to send their well wishes to the lucky couple who decided to join together in holy matrimony. It was heaven. June loved the flowers too, especially at Wilma and Casey's wedding, when she had just discovered her powers and she didn't get as much bruises for reviving the wilting daisies as she does now.

Now, June was about to attend the wedding of her parents. She supposed, with how much society evolved since the good old days, that it wasn't a big deal for a child to see their parents get married. Sometimes marriage doesn't come before the baby carriage — and from how June looks back on how great she's been raised, that's okay. Everyone who's anyone in Forks and the Rez were going to be invited to the wedding of the century aka, the wedding of Charles Swan and Daphne Uley. The chief of police is only the most beloved guy in Forks, to the more mature people of the town, and Daphne is a walking goddess whom men and women alike wish they could've had the chance to be loved by.

June was just happy to have her mind off of her impending holy shit, I'm gonna die hahahaha situation for the time being. She was in charge of decorations and — obviously — flowers. For once, she wasn't stressing over the unknown intruder or Victoria ( who'd been suspiciously quiet these past few weeks ) but rather where the tulip centerpieces should be. Bella was in charge of guests, much to June's dismay, because she hadn't been speaking to that moron ( whom she loved nevertheless ) for the past few days since she had accused June of being in love with Edward.

"—the tulips aren't supposed to be by the plates!" June snapped out an order to the helpers. "It's a centerpiece gentlemen. It goes in the center."

Bella came up beside her, "How's it going?"

Annoyed, June huffed. "Good." She snipped.

Her elder sister frowned, "Are you really mad at me?"

June scowled, "Seriously?" She retorted.

"Juniper, I never meant—"

"Don't say you didn't mean it," June shook her head in disbelief. "Because you said it. Which means you meant it enough to say it, Bella."

"I wasn't thinking," Bella excused herself.

There's that drip of sympathy that June can't help but feel whenever it came to Bella. "I'm not gonna be some pushover when it comes to you." She says. "You can't just say you weren't thinking ... you said some really hurtful things to me, Bella, I can't just ... forget that."

"I don't expect you to," Bella nodded understandingly.

"Good. Cause I'm not." June said in a huff.

Bella smiled briefly. "You wouldn't be my sister if you weren't impossible." Looking a little embarrassed, "But while we're talking, I just wanna know ... did you really love Edward?"

June meets her sister's eyes for that question. "Not love," She says softly, confused with her own words. "I just liked him. He never looked at me ... but everyone else always did. I guess I liked what I knew I couldn't have."

Bella nods, confused. "Then why did you say you loved him?"

"Because I wanted you to hurt in that moment as much as you hurt me." June tells her truthfully.

Her older sister blinks, "Oh."

"Yeah."

"...It's okay though."

June frowns at Bella in question.

             Her sister sets the tablecloth she has in her hands on the table near them and nods to herself, "It's okay if you did love Edward."

              "What?"

         Bella's face twists uncomfortably, "You heard me, June. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so angry at you ... I wasn't thinking clearly. I had a fight with Edward earlier anyway," She shakes her head at her own words. "It's no excuse but that's what it is."

In the petty part of her brain, June knew she should sulk around more, but there was only so much time she had left, she doesn't think she could be mad at her elder sister if she tired her hardest. "I would never hurt you that way." She said firmly. "There isn't a single person in the world that can make me ruin your happiness for the sake of my own. But that isn't even the case. I have Jacob. I love him."

Bella nodded solemnly, "It was wrong to accuse you that way." She says with a flush in her face. "It was stupid of me to even think you'd do that ... I should've known how much you love Jake."

Juniper fiddles the the bracelet she has, she doesn't look her sister in the eye. "I do."

         "I'm sure you'll be saying those words to him in a few years time," Bella's eyes sparkled playfully.

Sadly, June smiles. "Hopefully I get to see you get married. Maybe as a human. And not to Edward—"

"I told Daphne about the engagement," Bella says, supplying June with false hope. "I'm marrying him."

"As long as it's what you want." June says wistfully, going to turn but Bella speaks again. "Speaking of ... I'm sorry. I didn't know that's how you felt, in my shadow, I wasn't trying to take anything from you."

           "Not intentionally," Bella corrects. "But it's just how it is. Everyone prefers you over anything. I'll admit I've always been ... jealous but it's not your fault."

          "I promise to not be so dense." June offers.

           Bella smiles, "I promise to not be bitter."

          "It's not your fault," June jokes. "You're a bitter bee."

         June and Bella share a small smile and for a moment, everything's okay again, no matter how much lingering resentment is going around deep inside. June knows that Bella has much more insecurities and doubts than she's willing to say but as cruel as it is, June's not gonna waste the remaining moments of her lifetime on Bella's inability to take control of her future.

"Juniper? Can I — ask you, something?" Bella chimes.

        June faces her sister.

Bella's brown eyes are impossible dark as she looks into June's own eyes that are like endless blue pools. "When did you know you loved Jacob?" She asks softly.

June is taken aback at the question. She doesn't know how to answer it at first because there isn't a simple answer. She can't just say she woke up one day and was like, OK yeah I'm in love with Jacob Black, no, it didn't happen that fast. Gradually. She doesn't remember when it really hit her. She knows that there's always been hesitance. Not sure fast love. Hesitance because of her prophetic death and hesitance because she wasn't as selfish as she was now.

June looks at her sister, musing. "I think I've always loved him," She says, surprising herself. "... but I remember, in the beginning, my mind being like oh no! Because— well there is absolutely nobody else who could break my heart like he could."

"Jacob could never." Bella says doubtfully, shaking her head as if her words are silly. "You're all the stars in the night sky to him."

Stars die, too. If anything, June was the far fetched mega star, like the sun, slowly dying until she'd burst in a ball of flames, wiping out humanity. Jacob's humanity. But she's putting herself on way too high a pedestal, so she thinks. Maybe she'll just be a tiny star. One that dies and hardly anyone ever notices. Maybe.

•—•—•—•

THE BIG DAY ARRIVED QUICKER THAN ANYONE ever hoped to think. The spring wedding was here. The wedding of the millennium — so June so heavily set it up to become. After weeks of planning and flowers stolen from each bouquet that came in imported, and the ones that June grew from her own magical fingertips, it was finally time for Daphne Uley to become Daphne Swan and marry the man of her dreams and father of her two children. June woke up that morning feeling better than she had in a long time. For once, she was shivering from the chilly spring air that came through her window. For once, she wasn't in pain from the previous nights terrors in her sleep. For once in a long time, June stepped on the carpet next to her bed and got up with purpose. 

      Patrick Verona licked her hand as she stretched, her arms going around her puppy who wasn't a puppy at all anymore. She smiled bitter-sweetly to see how much Patrick had grown.

"You're gonna my only kid," June mumbles as she scratches behind his ear. "I won't have any babies in my life except for you. Which is why you're extra special."

                     Patrick seems to understand her. He licks her cheek. She scrunched her nose. She gets off and fills his doggy bowl with his doggy breakfast. She pats him before turning to look in the mirror. She sees the same thing as she always sees; a girl who's pretty enough. Pretty enough to have people smack their lips together and say in pity, she didn't deserve to die so young. A pity that the world lost another mediocre girl with traditional beauty standards out leveling all those in the tiny town she was born from. June sees color in her cheeks for the first time in a while — her eyes finally breath life again. She had only looked this good after Jacob and she ... June's face flushed at the memory.

Jacob had been more attentive to her than ever; she had belonged to him, in his eyes, in every way possible now. Except for the spirit ceremony. Her blood didn't smell like him yet. Her markings weren't permanent yet. They never would be. Not if the rituals she had been doing every night since then have been working and their red string of fate was loosening.

June showered, she brushed her hair and teeth and put effort into her makeup. She even did Bella's when the elder girl came knocking sheepishly with a bag full of things Alice Cullen had most likely given her. June slipped on the blue colored sundress that was made especially for the bridesmaids. Sue Clearwater was Daphne's maid of honor and June thought it was a fitting thing for her mother to bestow upon her childhood friend.

They all gathered at the Clearwater's to finish getting ready; Leah was zipping up Star's dress from behind. "Stop moving dork!" Leah laughed loudly.

Star was holding onto Jared for support, her hazel eyes glaring at her baby daddy. "You're never touching me again, you little bitch," She hissed at Jared as Leah struggled. "I don't want to be this fat again so you better hope bambino here is a boy because then your last name is history—"

"Star, sweetheart," Lyanna came swooping in, pushing her thick straight hair behind her shoulder. "I thought we agreed to no death threats until the reception?"

"Yeah, Star," Jared smirked.

Star's eyes widened in annoyance, "Try me, Cameron."

Leah finally zipped her up, "There!"

The expecting mother sighed, "Thank you, shewolf."

Phoebe, Star's little sister, came in holding Willie who was walking on shaky toddler legs. Her smile was cute as she was missing her two front teeth, "You look beautiful, Star." Her sister told her.

Star softened immediately, "You too, munchkin," Star chucked under her sister's chin. "You're the prettiest flower girl to ever live."

Phoebe blushed, she batted her childlike doe eyes up to Jared and pouted. "Jare, I'm hungry, and auntie Daphne said you had money to get me and Willie a happy meal," She recited perfectly.

Jared chuckled a bit, winking to Star before he kissed her cheek in farewell. "Yes, I do, princess. I'll be back with your meals," He looks to Star. "By the way babe, you look hot, I almost wanna get you pregnant—oh wait."

Star smiles sarcastically, picking up Willie swiftly and covering Phoebe's eyes as she mouthed, "Fuck you."

         Jared leaves the house with his laughter booming.

           June rolled her eyes, taking Willie from Star's arms. "You're hungry, little bro?" She asked him, tickling his chubby neck. Earning giggles from him. "When aren't you, though, right?"

"Don't fat shame the baby," Leah frowned.

"Willie's a skinny legend," June smirked. "I couldn't."

Her brother played with her hair and tried to put it in his mouth and June had to pull it from his air tight baby grip and set him in his high chair that they brought from the house. Bella came out of the room and smiled, gesturing behind her as she went towards Willie, all eyes following where Bella gestured. June's mother was beautiful. That much was for sure. Daphne Uley had dreams before she loved Charlie, June knew, but all she ever wanted to be was a mother. Iris told her about it all the time. Daphne wanted a giant family. She wanted kids running around the Rez and all of them having her startling blue eyes. But push comes to shove and her firstborn was granted with a death prophecy and all dreams of having a big family were wiped with the fear of losing them all like she would her first. But Daphne pulled through – she pulled though to get to this moment, wearing a beautiful traditional lace ivory dress, the train not that long but long enough for someone to call elegant.

    Daphne stopped at the entrance of the hallway and smiled at her bridesmaids. "So? How does it look?"

          Sue stood up, wiping tears from her eyes, "Leah just did my makeup so I won't cry too much," She laughed as she embraced her friend. "But you look beautiful, Daphne."

    "You're a serious milf, Miss S." Star winked, covering Phoebe's ears even though

    "Shut up nympho," Lyanna laughed. "You look really fantastic, Daphne.

       "Stunning." Leah supplied.

Daphne looked to June lastly. Her daughters opinion was the most important of course. June felt her throat tighten with emotion, "Wow, mom. You look really ... you're like an angel." She says softly, tearing up.

Daphne looks near tears herself, "Oh, baby," She chuckles sadly, gesturing for June to hug her. "Thank you." She whispers in her ear. "You look beautiful yourself. Blue is really your color."

I wear sadness really good, June wants to say.

•—•—•—•—•

JUNE HOLDS THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS IN her hand so tightly, the thorn from the rose pricks her finger and she shudders to remember of the vampire threat about them. But nothing comes of it. A drop of blood spilled doesn't mean a thing now. Daphne comes down the aisle to the hum of Elvis Presley's songs with a instrumental ring to it. June can only stare ahead; Jacob sitting in the crowd, his smile is iridescent as he meets her eyes and it's him solely that she focuses on to keep her sadness from truly and gravely enveloping her. Her dad is nervous in a suit as he stands on the other side, giving her wide eye and mouthing things to her she can't understand because of his thick mustache. She told him to shave. Not even his wedding could make him not look like Washington lumberjack.

           June took time to look around the guests again; her uncle Joshua was sitting next to her aunt Allison, Sam and Emily nearby. She smiled in surprise at her uncles presence and his returning nod said way more than he ever would. Iris held Willie in the front seats, her baby brother smiling his toothy smile as he waved at Charlie and everyone who met his eye. Even the Cullen's were in attendance, at the behest of Charlie of course, Esme and Carlisle were seated somewhere in the middle with their children flanking their sides. Much to most of the packs' dismay of course. She could see Paul scrunching his nose at the vampires sweet scent and Jared as well, holding Phoebe closer to him as she sat on his lap, the little girl wore herself out from running and was fast asleep in the crook of her sisters boyfriends neck.

That's when the piano played. Everyone stood. Daphne walked in and everyone turned. Suddenly, it was like she was at the baby shower/ engagement party again. Everyone is background nose and all June can hear is the strange beat of her own heart. This might be the last large event she'll ever attend. She won't be here for their first anniversary. She won't be here for her little brother's second birthday party. She won't be here for the birth of Star's baby. She won't see Leah truly happy. She won't see Lyanna and Embry blossoming in love like the way Jacob and she were.

         Daphne and Charlie say their vows, "To have and to hold ... until death do us part."

        June meets Jacob's eyes for that. He smiles. She can't.

     It's over as quick as it begins; everyone throws the flower petals towards the couple as they go down the aisle again, this time hand in hand. Daphne catches her daughters face and it's so beautiful too see her mother so happy that June doesn't feel the tear falling down her cheek until she tastes the saltiness on her lips. Her dad smiles at her too, his joy in insurmountable, nothing can bring him down. Charlie usually sees right through June's moods, but he doesn't think twice about the fake smile that his daughter wears. She's gotten so good at playing the part, he winks at her adoringly and tugs Daphne's hand as they walk further.

      The reception is just as planned. Swiftly, the champagne gets to everyone and there's wallflowers dancing near the speakers and under the twinkling lights hung around the tarp. June is talking with Lyanna when she notices her grandma approach her.

"Juniper, my flower," Iris smiles, fixing a stray curl and pushing it from June's face.

"Hey, grandma, is Willie okay?"

"Oh yes, I have Star watching him," Iris points to where Star is trying to get Willie to eat the food on his plate but June's baby brother is being stubborn and throwing it all directions. "Ha! She better get used to that."

"Please save her," June laughs.

"I came over for a reason," Iris taps her nose. "There's someone here I've wanted you to meet."

"Grandma I made the guest list I know everyone—"

Iris paid no mind to her words and was already making her way towards a table, "Amaryllis," Her grandmother spoke tenderly, louder than usual.

By the table was a frail old woman, far older than her youthful grandmother, who was russet skinned as half of the guests. Her skin was wrinkled but her eyes, misty with obvious blindness, had this shine that said she was far more alive than most living people. Her hair was all white and it looked like a treasure against her rich skin. The old woman was surely no one that June could say she's ever seen before.

"Amaryllis," Iris said again. She put a hand on Juniper's back. "This is my granddaughter, this is—"

"No need for introduction, Iris," The old woman croaked in a aged voice. She raised a shaky, arthritic hand. "I know all too well about Juniper Swan. Come closer, beautiful one, let me touch the hand of the new Quileute Mender."

Slowly, June blinked, then went to kneel in front of the old woman, named Amaryllis. "Hello, ma'am, it's a pleasure to meet you," June says softly. "How do you know—"

"I've seen your face before child," Amaryllis chuckles, coughing shortly after. "My cousin had the same face. Oh yes, it's clear, I see it ... Melanie was always such a lovely thing ..."

    Startled, Juniper looks to her grandmother who simply nods. My cousin? Amaryllis was related to them. "Melanie Capote was your —cousin?" Juniper asks shakily.

The old woman laughs, "Yes, she was," Amaryllis confirms. "My mother, Jasmine, was Melanie's mothers' younger sister, Heather. I married into the Makah tribe eventually but we are still family. I am old ... time does that, you know? But I remember being a little child ... seeing your face running around and breaking hearts." Juniper sits down at the gesture of Amaryllis. The woman feels her hands and sighs, "I can feel your magic, girl. It's strong."

        Juniper looks down at her hands, "I'm a strong girl."

        That makes Amaryllis smile, "Yes, we Capote women have to be," She chuckles.

        Iris stood, "I'll leave you two to talk." She smiled, leaving.

         Amaryllis held Juniper's hand. "With my partial blindness, you almost look exactly like her. Except for the hair. You get that from your fathers family, a colonizers color." She says sassily, laughing.

Juniper smiles, "Did you know her well?"

Amaryllis softened, "Indeed. I idolized her."

"Everyone says I am like her."

"Are you?" Amaryllis hums in thought. "You have her looks, yes, but it takes much more than that. Melanie ... Melanie was always a bit too wild. There was a dreaminess in her voice that I don't hear in yours. You might have your great-grandmother's practicality ... Melanie needed that."

June looks down, "I'm very sorry about what happened to her. You must've cared for her a lot."

"I did. Alas, history repeats so Iris tells me," Amaryllis says with a sigh. "I just hope you have a brighter future than Melanie did."

        "Oh, thank you for saying so," June replied demurely, taking a sip of water that was in the cup near her.

        Amaryllis turns her aged face to the younger girl, seemingly contemplating her next words, "Has anyone ever told you of the day you were born, fair one?"

      June blinks, confused, shaking her head.

      "It was one of the hottest days in La Push," Amaryllis nods to herself, her face scrunched in remembrance. "I was visiting Iris and her children, your uncle Joshua and Daphne, who was heavily pregnant with you. Just like that I was to help with the delivery, as I do on my own Reservation. Oh I remember how Daphne was so young, so scared ... I believe she fractured your father's hand from holding it too tightly."

    They share a small chuckle.

     "And then you came into the world," the elder woman continued, soft eyes boring into hers. "Woke the whole Rez with your screams. I remember how your mother cried when she held you in her arms, I'd helped dozens of women giving birth and of course those mothers love their babies but I'd never seen someone quite like your mother — she didn't let anyone near you, she stared at you like you were a thousands gems ... and you were, her gem, of course."

             June can't help the breaking of her heart as she hears the story. You were your mothers gem. She doesn't know why this woman decided to share this information with her ... what did it matter how much Daphne loved June? June knew how much, it meant leaving her mom all he more painful ... until June realized.

          "You know." June says almost inaudibly.

                 Amaryllis gives her a solemn look, "It's the way of Mender's my dear," She says lowly. "But you know that, don't you? You've heard the stories ... the Third Wife wasn't just some mere mortal, her blood was just as magical as her husbands, because of the sacrifice she made."

             "Is that why there are so little? My grandma said I was the third one since the Third wife," June asks, curious to know the purpose of all this.

         "Yes."

         "Then why is there a need for Mender's?"

         "You've been one for more than a year and you still question it?"

         "No," June shake her head. "I mean, what's the point of having some girl with some precious almighty blood to be the glue to the pack, only to just die?"

         "Every life has a purpose, Juniper," Amaryllis tells her wisely. "There isn't a soul on this planet without one. Everyone finds theirs within their own fate ... the purpose of Mender's are to pay the price the spirits have for allowing such magnificent creatures such as those wolves to roam and protect us."

        June feels her chest tighten, "And what does it matter that some little girl with some flower power dies, right?"

      "You misunderstand," Amaryllis snaps. "When I was your age, it was every girl's dream to become the Mender. Back then, there wasn't that foolish rule of only those who know are those whom should know. Until we knew the price. After Melanie's sudden death, the spirits were angry, there wouldn't be another pack of wolves until ... well, until three years ago when your cousin phased for the first time."

       June leans in, "So what are you trying tell me?"

       Amaryllis smiles, a soft and patient one, "You're truly one of those rare flowers aren't you—the ones that bloom in the dark? Yes ... well you better start blooming, because it's gonna be dark for a while."

"I hope this isn't the last time I see you." June says.

       "And if it is," Amaryllis sighs. "Know that it was an honor to meet Juniper Swan."

a/n: my bitch as updated wowwwww and it was all thnx to kim taehyung working then r&b vocals on singularity and making me want to get pregnant 🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽