I closed my eyes and rubbed my eyes. Damn it. What did I do? I must have worried her. Logan was right, she would never get angry or say anything to me when she is truly worried. I must have hurt her with my behavior today.

I got up and headed towards the door grabbing my keys. I had to talk to her.

As I opened the door I was struck by a surprise.

"Call and share your worries idiot." Jackie was standing there in her jacket. I looked down and she was wearing her pajamas.

"I told dad to drive me over to your house."

"And he agreed?" I asked surprised.

"Mom helped with the persuading."

"Come in."

She got in and I closed the door. I instantly felt better. She only needed to show up at my door step and stand there calling me an idiot with a smile on her face.

"Umm..do you want anything to drink?" I asked and she turned around smiling.

"Mmm...no. You see normal. Now that I can see that I think I can go home." She smiled but I stopped her.

"Actually I want to talk to you."

"I see. Good. I wanted to talk too." She smiled relieved and climbed the stairs.

"I want hot chocolate." I smiled and went to the kitchen to make her a hot chocolate.

When I came to my room she was looking at our pictures.

"Hot chocolate." I smiled and handed her the cup.

She took the cup and then pointed at a picture..

"This is my favorite one."

I lifted the frame. It was a picture of the first trip we had together. She was sleeping on my shoulder and I was looking at her.

"I actually posed for this one. Logan took it." I told her and she laughed.

"I know that. Tazia told me. But...it's my favorite because it was taken at that trip. It's when I actually became aware that I had feelings for you. You know after you kissed umm.. nevermind."

She blushed and brought the cup to her lips. I laughed at her and brought her cup down seeing she almost burnt her tongue. She seemed hesitating to say something but she took a breath and spoke.

"I never thought I would want to be selfish with someone but I can't hold back with you Ethan. I was really worried today. So much that I thought I wasn't going to be able to sleep if I didn't see If you were okay." She bit her lower lip nervously.

I pulled her closer and hugged her. She was warm and felt so breakable.

Her hands slowly wrapped around my waist.

"Will you hear what I have to tell you?" I asked her.

"How can you even doubt it?"

"But it couldn't be something you would want to hear. Your dad can't protect you from this truth."

She stepped away but holding my hand she pulled me to sit down on the bed.

"I said something here once. I think I said if it's you then I don't regret it. I don't regret anything." She explained.

I smiled remembering. "That was something totally different Plushy." I pinched her cheek and then came closer. "We need to talk about that too."

"But first..." She put a finger on my lips pushing me back. "The truth that you wanted to tell me."

I sighed and laid back on the bed. It was the first time I felt the need to tell her.

"I was eight. My parents were still in the same country at that point. They picked me up from school but brought me to the office. I never talked and was pretty calm people rarely noticed I was there. That day my parents were arguing with a client who was making some claims they owed him money. The thing was he was totally scamming them. The last time I saw him he was wearing exactly the same suit. And it had a ketchup stain in the same place. It was also weird his new assistant looked better than his boss. I had guessed he could only be scamming money because he was going to bankruptcy himself. It's not like an assistant can wear more branded clothes than his boss."

"Definitely suspicious." Jackie confirmed. She laid next to me listening carefully.

"Once my parents left the room I spoke up and confronted the man. I really pissed him off because he was caught in a lie by an eight year old.

I explained to my parents but the assistant gave me a really weird look"

"Why?"

"I'm getting there. Be patient. This is only the beginning." I pinched her nose.

"The tragedy begins six years later. I was at the top of my class I was best in the whole school and I was about to enter a top high school. But a day before my going to school, I was kidnapped."

Jackie's eyes were intensely following me.

"I was kept in a dark room, It was really hard to breathe and I can still remember the horrible stench. I was tied to a chair, with every move the ropes dig into my skin and made bruises and cuts. I remember panicking, my whole body was trembling, I was cold and scared. I kept on thinking I was kidnapped so they can ask my parents for ransom. But when they showed up they were asking me questions, I knew nothing about."

He took a deep breath and continued. "They threw their alcohol over me, they threw few punches and one even wanted to put out his cigarette off me. After they didn't hear what they wanted to hear they mentioned something about torturing me and brought out these devices. I wished I was dead at that point. And then I remember lots of yelling and lights. Everything at that point was blurry, I was rescued and a man approached me."

He made a small pause and rubbed his eyes. "I knew he was familiar. It was the assistant I mentioned before from that old situation. Apparently, he was a secret agent working undercover and ever since that day they have been paying special attention to me thinking of a way to enroll me into their agency and train me. I didn't want to have anything to do with them especially after what I went through. But once they promised I will only work behind covers and no one will know I even exist I agreed. I figured I owed them that much after they rescued me. I was left in the hospital and I had to tell my parents and everyone that I was unconscious the whole time. That was the end of the incident and it was never mentioned again. Nigel was the guy who rescued and introduced me to the agency. The people who kidnapped me were...They had been under the agency's radar for a while. Their file case was called the Domino Case. I have seen it but there was never enough to explain to me why I was kidnapped." I sighed. "I could have gone back to that place to look for clues but I locked it away in my brain for good."

I looked at Jackie. She remained quiet and just laid down with her hand under the pillow watching me.

" Jackie?" I asked her. I was worried that this was too much for her.

"Why did you decide to tell me this now?" She asked with a poker face.

"I have my reasons but mostly I just needed to tell you this."

She reached out and touched my hand. "I understand." She smiled and that gave me some sort of relief. I was hoping she would react the way she did. I laid down next to her pulling her closer and kissing the top of her nose. Then her cheek and then her mouth.

Surprisingly she didn't hesitate much and stared kissing me passionately. I wanted to hold her closer than ever before but suddenly her hands were running up and down my back, her legs wrapped around mine and she was making small noises. Reality hit me pretty soon.

"I love you Plushy." I whispered as I pulled away from her lips. "I really do."

"I do too." She smiled and kept on kissing me. Her lips traveled down to my neck and suddenly I panicked.

"Plush what are you doing?"

" I am making you feel good." She said like it was the most normal thing for her to say.

I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up.

"Jackie..."

"I want to, does it bother you?" She started kissing my neck again but I turned her over on her back pressing her hands to her chest.

I sighed looking at the shine in the eyes. When will she grow up?

"For now just holding you Is making me feel good." I kissed her hands and got off her laying down.

She held my hand and didn't say a word after that.

Jackie's p.o.v

He didn't even try anything after that. And I chickened out into telling him that I really wanted to hold him tighter and go further. Instead I pretended to be a completely innocent child and turned on the other side like he did...I hesitated to call my dad to pick me up but before I knew it Ethan was sleeping and I just stayed there laying and watching his cute face. I turned off the lights and covered him with a blanket. I wonder if he's dreaming about something. He opened up to me and that made me really happy. I wanted to know more. But even more I wanted to change for him. Be braver and freer in expressing what I wanted. I want to be his support and I want to be a girl that deserves his heart.

***(if you don't wanna read the dirty , scroll until i say stop)

Something woke me up. Ethan hands were wrapped around me and he was breathing in my neck his lips gently and slowly brushed on my skin. I realized I was still sleeping in his bed. I turned around but he had his eyes closed and looked like he was half asleep. I got the courage and pressed my lips on his. He responded. His fingertips brushed the back of my neck . I could hear the beats of my pounding heart in my ears. His beautiful mouth was my weakness and he responded passionately to my willingness. 

 I was tempted to wake him up fully but he could pull away and I wanted him too much to just give him up. There was so fear or embarrassment, only lust and longing. Slowly I slipped my hand under his shirt and then pulled it slightly up. Encouraged he took off his shirt and pulled me closer again. Somehow I managed to catch my breath and pulled away to look at him. Ethan was starting to wake up fully.

"Jackie I..." Before he said anything I shushed him.

"No more excuses." I told him and he stared at me for some time and then kissed me. Suddenly they were down my neck and throat. My senses went crazy. My thoughts spread around the room. He pulled away to take off my shirt. He unbuttoned my bra and took it off. I was naked but I felt no shame. "You are so beautiful." His lips went down. He started slowly kissing down my chest, caressing my breast, and as he worked his mouth and tongue I knew my face was heating up. It was weird in a good way. I had never felt like this before and he was so gentle then rough. My brain exploded in pieces.

I pulled his head to kiss him again and then reached for his body. I was exploring every inch of his body. His back, stomach chest, neck. I felt every muscle In his body going harder and stronger. His mouth kissed the soft spot behind my ear. I pulled him closer than did the same. I was learning carefully every little detail memorizing which spot made him breathe out or react to my touch or kiss.

As our clothes were gone one by one I started losing my confidence.

"Are you scared?" He came closer to my ear and breathed into my neck..

"A little." My voice sounded rough. My body was trembling from excitement.

"Don't be. I will touch you where you want to be touched. I will kiss you where you want me to kiss you. I'll make you feel so good you won't have to feel scared at all."

That made me feel better and smiled. No matter if he could keep the promise or not I wasn't feeling scared anymore with just few words.

And he really did what he promised. Somehow along the way I lost the fear and all I could do was feel. I started to enjoy myself, taking action, moving and touching and kissing. Lots and lots of kissing. It was beautiful and sensual, little slow and little fast. I didn't snap out of the trance all the way until it was over. An explosive end but I started to regain my senses.

When I realized my actions I started turning red and my heart started beating really fast out of embarrassment.

I turned my back towards Ethan but instead of saying anything he covered us both with his sheets and then pulled me closer to his chest.

(stop scrolling and read :D )

When I woke up I was glad Ethan wasn't next to me. I rolled in the bed or some time trying to calm down after every picture flashed in my brain. I quickly tugged the sheets off and tried to change. But there was nothing else from my clothing but the underwear.

"I'm going to kill that pervert." I put on the underwear and his long sleeved shirt that was huge enough to cover my thighs. I made my way downstairs and found him on the couch eating a sandwich.

He immediately noticed my presence.

"Good morning Plushy. I'm loving your new fashion. Wanna bite?"

He offered the sandwich.

"Where are my clothes you perverted idiot?"

"What clothes?" He asked with a smile on his face.

"If you don't want to suffer and have a face reconstruction tell me where to find my clothes."

He sighed disappointed and pulled out my clothes from underneath a pillow.

I reached out to grab them but he pulled away and smiled.

"Where is my good morning kiss?"

I pressed my lips tight annoyed. However he puckered his waiting for a kiss.

I sighed and kissed him. Obediently he handed me the clothes.

"It's a shame. I like that look."

I ignored him and started walking away.

"I think it's very hypocritical to be calling me a pervert Plushy." He added.

"You are one." I answered.

"But aren't you one too. I mean...didn't you attack me yesterday while I was sleeping."

I didn't respond to his idiotic provocation and ran away before he could see my red face.

After I was fully dressed I called a cab and decided to leave.

"Take a sandwich." He gave one to me sad I decided to leave him.

" You are supposed to be clingy." He explained.

"I need to study. You should too."

"I didn't know why expected something else.." He sighed.

I smiled to myself . As If I was able to even think about something else.

"Bye." I kissed him and then let the house.

As I entered the cab I told him my home address.

"Actually I need to take you someplace else miss." He told me then locked the doors. Instantly I panicked.