mark and donghyuck stood in the center of the room. both of them avoided the other's gaze. unfortunately, all distractions and excuses were gone and they had no reason not to talk. "look-" "i-", they spoke on top of eachother unintentionally, leaving an even more awkward atmosphere than before. 

   "you go first," donghyuck insisted. mark nodded and cleared his throat, "i didn't tell you that i was coming here. how did you know where i was?" he asked. he had been wanting to ask the question ever since donghyuck first appeared in the middle of the fight. the brunette laughed dryly, playing with his fingers until he answered. "johnny hyung sent me a text, he said you came over and you were drunk."

   mark hummed in response, not quite sure how to add to it. "mark hyung," donghyuck suddenly called. the older looked up and they met eyes. the air between them shifted as mark finally noticed what he should've a while ago. donghyuck's eyes were bloodshot red, clear evidence that he had been crying. he was also in his pajamas with nothing but a jacketworn over the top.

after reading johnny's text, he must've come immediately 

   "why are you doing this? why did you go out and get drunk? why did you start a fight with jaehyun hyung?" tears threatened to fall as donghyuck asked more questions than he intended to. mark's gaze faltered as he stared down at the floor. despite all of their fights in the past, donghyuck had never sounded so hurt during one. they usually fought over childish things that resulted in donghyuck getting on his nerves.

   yet, this time it was about something serious. it was a topic that he thought he and donghyuck would never fight about. "i... i don't know," mark cringed at how lame he sounded. the statement wasn't even true anyway. he knew exactly why he was acting like this. as he hurt donghyuck by denying his feelings, he had also hurt himself. he was confused and almost as broken as the younger was.

   donghyuck scoffed, "come on, you wouldn't get drunk when we have schedule and be unprofessional for no reason. i know you, mark. possibly better than you even know yourself. you would never act this this without an explanation." mark hated how donghyuck was right. everything the brunette had said was true, but he couldn't admit to it.

   to stall, mark grabbed onto donghyuck's wrist and brought them to his bedroom where it'd be harder for the rest of the members to hear. he closed the door behind him and leaned against the door, ruffling a hand through his hair. donghyuck stood in the center of the room with and expectant expression. as mark had closed the door, donghyuck flicked on a single lamp at mark's nightstand. the light brought a warm and orange glow to donghyuck's tan skin, making him look even more etheral than he already did.

   "well?" donghyuck crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. mark cheweed on his lips nervously before answering, "i just— i'm confused, okay? everything is suddenly moving too fast and i'm struggling to catch up. i don't know what to think of what you told me and i don't know what to make of my own feelings."

   the younger's eyes widened at the last part. what did mark mean by that? forget it, don't give yourself false hope, he shook his head to clear it of any thoughts resolving around mark liking him back. a sad laugh fell from his lips, "nevermind. i'm going to bed, you're too drunk to know what you're talking about."

   mark blocked the door and kept him from leaving, "don't go." "you didn't stay when i wanted you to, instead you left and got yourself drunk like this. why would i stay just because you asked me to?" donghyuck had a point and mark hated that. "i know and i'm sorry, but please," he begged. the heated air around them was suffocating as donghyuck stared at him. "i don't think sorry cuts it," he said bitterly.

   with those words stabbing at mark's heart, donghyuck pushed past him and left the room, most likely going to his shared room with jaehyun, closing the door behind him. the ravenette sunk to the floor one hand clawing at his chest.

   when he felt wet tears on his cheeks he was startled. mark wasn't one to cry unless something extremely devistating happened. then again, he wasn't one to raise his voice, carelessly get drunk, or punch his members either. "what the hell am i doing?" he chuckled, more tears escaping his eyes. 

   his head fell into his arms with his knees pulled up to his chest. quiet sobs filled the room but no one was there to comfort him. as much as he wanted to, he couldn't even feel sorry for himself. i don't deserve comfort, i deserve every bit of this. 

   that night, mark slept in that position. his back was against the door and he sat on the hard wood floor with his bed just meters away.

---

   after a restless night for most of the members, morning came. no one was surpised when some of them got up earlier than usual just because they all had trouble sleeping the past night. when everyone but mark was out of their rooms, taeyong suggested that someone should call mark out to come eat. donghyuck froze as an awkward silence enveloped the room. the sound of a chair's legs scrapping across the floor suggested that someone woud go call mark as taeyong mentioned.

   heads snapped to the person who had stood up. "i'll go," johnny stood. the dark circles around his eyes didn't effect how he acted. the second oldest members smiled at everyone and walked down the hall to mark's room. 

   once johnny made it to mark's door, he knocked on it gently, not sure of what kind of response he would get from the younger. the knocking woke mark up and he stood up from the floor where he had been all night. despite waking up multiple times, he didn't move to the bed. he wanted to be able to reach the door immediately in case donghyuck ever came back. 

   his knees and back ached along with the throbbing from his head, but nothing beat the sharp pain in his heart. with shaky hands, he reached for the knob, hopes high that it would be donghyuck. his hope was shattered when he saw johnny at the other side of the door. "come eat breakfast with the others," johnny attempted.

   the red eyes and ever dark circles under mark's eyes worried him. his hair was messy and light stubble covered the lower part of his face. he had never seen mark in a worse state. 

   "i'm not hungry," he groaned, trying to close the door. johnny's firm grip stopped him and he pulled the door back open. "haechan is there," he said. just as he suspected, mark's eyes showed intrest. "fine, but give me a second," he left for the bathroom to clean up a bit. if he was going to have a long talk with donghyuck like he wanted, he wanted to show that he had at least put in an effort.

   after brushing his teeth and briefly shaving, he left the bathroom and pulled off his shirt, replacing it with a black hoodie. "ready?" johnny stood by the door where he hadn't moved once. mark nodded, "ready."

   when mark and johnny entered the living room where the others were, they instantly noticed donghyuck who was trying to leave, and jaehyun at his side helping him. when donghyuck had returned to his room the previous night, jaehyun had still been awake, waiting for him so he could spill.

   through tears, donghyuck had explained how he confessed to mark and how the older didn't take it well at all. jaehyun of course apologized for encouraging donghyuck in the past. he had never expected mark to act like that, but it only confirmed his assumptions. mark was confused and too scaed to admit to himself and donghyuck that he liked the younger.

   worried about what might happen if he shared his thoughts, jaehyun kept them to himself and comforted donghyuck until he fell asleep. 

   after johnny had gone to call mark for breakfast, donghyuck panicked and rushed over to him, aksing for help to leave the dorms. although jaehyun was reluctant to give in, after some more pleading from donghyuck, he gave in. jaehyun gave a string of excuses to taeyong as donghyuck anxiously waited to be excused. right when taeyong had allowed it, mark and johnny entered the room.

   the tips of donghyuck's fingertips had barey just grazed the doorknob when mark called out to him. "hyuck," he breathed out. 

   everyone in the room watched as donghyuck and mark made eye contact from opposite sides of the room. the look in to the two youngests' eyes showed sadness and hurt. "can i talk to you?" mark asked, each word dripped with sincerity and donghyuck hated how much he wanted to cave in, "please," mark asked.

   donghyuck knew that once again he was giving in too easily to mark's honey eyes, but he couldn't help how easy he was around mark. "fine... but," he paused, facing jaehyun, "apologize." "what?" mark asked, confused by what exactly donghyuck meant. "apologize to jaehyun hyung, for punching him last night," he ordered.

   realization dawned upon mark as memories that didn't involve donghyuck flooded his mind. his cheeks and ears burned bright red as he looked at jaehyun, who was at donghyuck's side across the room. a purple bruise on his jaw indicated that mark really had swung at him the night before and his brain wasn't just playing tricks on him. "i'm sorry, hyung, i'm really sorry. i was drunk and wasn't thinking, and i shouldn't have punched you like that. i probably said some stuff too that i didn't mean an—," mark's rambling was cut off when jaehyun stopped him. "it's okay," he said.

   as if a weight was lifted off of mark's shoulders, he sighed in relief. "thank you," mark spoke in english to show that he meant it. he turned to donghyuck and the younger nodded, closing his eyes momentarily before he padded across the floor and stood in front of mark, "your room?" "yeah, let's go," like that, for the second time within only a few hours, mark brought donghyuck to his room so they could talk their situation out. 

   "what do you want?" donghyuck asked. "don't you have any questions as to why i did what i did?"mark asked in return. the brunette shrugged, "not really." even though the older was techinically in the wrong, mark rolled his eyes, "you aren't curious as to why i punched jaehyun hyung, why i left and got drunk last night, and why i want to talk to you? or maybe you're curius as to why i make out with you, have you suck my dick, and still consider you as a little brother."

   donghyuck crossed his arms. "okay, maybe i am curious, but you're the one who asked to talk to me in the first place. why do i have to ask you questions for you to speak?" mark ran a hand through his hair, "i already told you i'm not good with words." there was a moment of silence until donghyuck broke it. "alright then, why did you punch jaehyun hyung last night?"

   "for you," mark said bluntly. "what?" donghyuck didn't understand what mark was getting at. "i punched jaehyun hyung for you," he said again. after taking a look at donghyuck's face, he realized that he was going to need to be a lot more descriptive than that. "he knew of your feelings for me and still encouraged you to pursue them. why would he do that if he knew how serious i am about being an idol? he should've told you it wasn't possible for us to be together to begin with. of course i'm at fault for hurting you the way i did...," his eyes paused at the tight lipped frown donghyuck wore, but he cleared his throat and continued. "still, how could he just assume that i would like you back and accept your feelings?"

   donghyuck laughed, "be honest mark. that was the shittiest excuse that you've ever come up with." although donghyuck didn't call him 'hyung', he chose to ignore the minor detail and decided to come clean. "i guess in my drunken state, i was reminded of some of my past... jealousy. back when i caught you facetiming him," he admit, head hung low.

   "that's stupid," donghyuck scoffed. "even after i told you that i liked you, you still felt jealous that i called jaehyun hyung back then?" mark nodded, "i was drunk! my thoughts don't process well when i'm drunk. besides, i had a lot of information to process and i had a lot on my mind."

   "whatever," donghyuck gave in, accepting the explanation. "then why did you leave and get drunk last night?" mark debated between answering honestly, or coming up with a lie. if he answered honestly, he was going have to confess to everything that he'd been hiding.

   he snapped back to reality and away from his stressful thoughts after he had made a decision. "i guess this will answer some of the other questions that i mentioned earlier, but i can explain," he said. donghyuck nodded, showing that he was waiting for an answer.

   "when you told me that you liked me, i didn't know what to do. of course my first instinct wouldn't be to accept your feelings, because that would result to us being together. but donghyuck-ah, we're not just like everyone else— we're idols and we're both guys. not only that, but we've been best friends for years. what would happen if we were to ever break up? what would we do then? what if all of our years and memories together went away with a snap of a finger because of another petty fight that we had where neither of us would cave in?"

   the way that donghyuck's eyes glossed over showed mark that his words weren't just going through ear and coming out the other. everything he was saying was being genuinely listened to, and that was the only way their quarrel could finally come to an end. 

   "lee donghyuck," mark walked forward until he was right infront of the younger. he lifted his chin so that they came eye to eye. "i'm worried and too scared to lose you. that's why i couldn't tell you earlier that...," he took a deep breath and sincerly looked at donghyuck directly. 

"i like you too."

-----

word count: 2468

wow that was a roller coaster

the story is literally only getting worse and worse so dw, the end is coming soon

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾