mark dried his hair with a towel, wearing nothing but a pair of black sweatpants and boxers. he sat down on the bed with his phone in one hand, a soft smile on his face as he read the text message that he received from donghyuck.

donghyuck: three more days <3

mark: then i'll kiss you senseless 

   he smiled as he imagined the light blush that would cover donghyuck's cheeks as he read the message. his hand covered with a sweater paw would come up to his face and cover his mouth and part of his nose. the thought alone made mark wish he was right next to him so he could cuddle him until they both fell asleep.

   a knock on his hotel door was enough to break him out of his thoughts as xiaojun walked in. "taeyong hyung said it's time for lights out," he told him. mark nodded in understanding, "got it, thanks."

   "g'night mark," xiaojun waved over his shoulder, closing the door behind him. the canadian leaned over and turned on the lamp before standing up to turn off the room's lights. then he climbed back into bed and closed his eyes, trying to catch some shut eye. 

   it had only been a minute or two before there was a soft buzzing vibration from his phone. the screen was lit up, momentarily blinding him as the song; good person, filled his ears. ever since he and donghyuck had to split up for the seperate promotion season, he had chosen the song for his ringer. the members made fun of him for a bit when they first realized, but after a while they stopped. having seen how sad mark had been without the sunshine like boy.

   the music came to a stop when mark pressed accept on the call. immediately he woke to his senses as warmth flooded his insides the second he heard the voice on the line.

"hi markie."

"hyuck?"

   the soft sounds of donghyuck giggling on the line made him smile. when his laughing died down, he spoke up, "i miss you, hyung." mark sighed, sitting up in bed and switching the lamp on. he wished he could ignore the sting in his chest but it just wouldn't go away. "what did i tell you about saying that?" there was a pause so mark took his time looking at the shadows cast upon the walls. "i know," donghyuck replied softly.

   "do you...," mark could hear the hesitance in donghyuck's voice already. "do you want to turn on our cameras, maybe? just for a short while be-" "no," mark cut off sternly, "you know the rules."

   another moment passed. it was so quiet that mark could hear the different breathing patterns of the younger. the one that was currently repeating was one he knew too well. "babe," he started, "don't cry. i'll have to hang up." "sorry," donghyuck sniffled. his voice wasn't broken or weak so mark took it as a sign that he hadn't started crying yet.

   the call fell silent. everything that mark or donghyuck wanted to say or do was forbidden. rules that they had strictly chosen and given themselves during calls.

   the first rule was that neither of them were aloud to say i miss you to eachother. over text was fine but on call made the time slip through their fingers. plus, the reality around them would become more serious and harsh to deal with. the next rule was that they could never do video calls. texting distracted them during the day and voice calls took up a lot of time already. looking at eachother through a screen was simply out of the question. the third and final rule was no crying infront of eachother, or they would have to end the call and stick to texting for the rest of the promotion season. unlike the other two, this one made them both break.

   if mark were to cry, it would be because of exhaustion and frustration. he could deal with that on his own. mark would purposely shut himself off from donghyuck just so he could force himself to get a grip. donghyuck on the other hand— donghyuck was a completely different story. if mark were to hear that donghyuck had been crying, he would lose a piece of himself that day trying to make donghyuck feel better. donghyuck — just like mark — was overworked and tired. the only difference was that mark could close down his feelings and become and emotionless workaholic and the younger could not. eventually, he would crumble under the pressure and depression.

   just like that, mark and donghyuck established three rules for their phone calls. donghyuck often broke the first two rules but was let of with a warning from mark because one; it wasn't a big enough deal to get mad over, and two; mark missed him too much to actually be angry.

   "hyung," donghyuck finally said, breaking the silence. even without talking, simply being there with eachother thousands of miles apart was comforting. "i only called because i'm waiting for our turn to go on stage, but don't you have a flight tommorow?"

   mark hummed, sinking back into the covers, "in a few hours i'll be in the philippines for two nights and three days. it's my final stop before seoul, you know?" there was a pause once more, "you should sleep. do you want me to hang up?"

   the question hung in the air. mark and donghyuck knew the correct answer to that question already, but neither of them liked it. donghyuck didn't want to ask the question in the first place but he knew he needed to. "can you just..," mark trailed off, throat becoming dry as he propped another pillow below his head, "stay a while. until you have to go."

   it was unlike him to be needy or clingy but now, mark didn't know what he would do if the line went dead. it had a been over a week since their last phone call. his body was exhausted. his mind was exhausted. donghyuck was the exact medicine that he needed. although the canadian usually kept them in check, reminding donghyuck that they were idols and had people depending on them, this time was different. he didn't care about anyone but his boyfriend.

   "i'll stay on as long as you promise to try to sleep. when either i need to go on stage or you fall asleep, i'll hang up," donghyuck said, sounding fairly hesitant. "alright," mark agreed. he waited, knowing that donghyuck had something in mind.

   "tell me... tell me what it'll be like when we meet again in three days," donghyuck said. his voice was thin, like a phone wire ready to be cut at any second. he was on the verge of tears. 

   mark reached over and turned the lamp off, settling himself comfortably in bed before answering. "i don't know," his voice was low and slightly muffled by the way he was lying down. "everything and anything i guess." when he didn't recieve a response, he knew donghyuck was waiting for further details. "i would do everything you wanted and anything to make up for our time spent apart."

   "what else?" he couldn't hide the smile on his face from the tone of happiness in the purple haired male's voice. "well," mark began, shifting his position one final time. "when i first saw you, i would grab your hand and kiss it before pulling you into a hug. then i would kiss your nose, your eyelids, your cheeks, your forehead, your jaw, and finally kiss your pink lips. would you like that, sunshine?"

"mhhmm," donghyuck mumbled.

   "i would hold you close," mark drawled, hearing the slowed pattern of donghyuck's breathing. "and promise to never let you go again." the older male lowered his volume a bit before proceeding. "if you even told me that you felt insecure, i would give you love and love again until you belived me when i said that you're perfect." mark relaxed his each and every muscle, closing his eyes and relaxing his mind. "do you know that you're perfect to me, love?"

   love was a name that mark only called the smaller male when he was mostly unconcious. otherwise he found it slightly embarrassing to call donghyuck such a loving pet name whether he felt that way about donghyuck or not.

   "good night donghyuck," mark said under his breath seeing that the other had fallen asleep. "i love you."

---

   "it was a wonderful two nights here in london and i can't wait until we get a chance to come back. i will remember this forever. thank you for your continuous love and support, we'll work even harder," donghyuck bowed and waved to fans, a bright smile plastered on his face. "thank you!" he finished in cute english. "have a good night," jaehyun attempted a british accent. the crowd went wild at both donghyuck and jaehyun. one by one, the remaining members took turns speaking andd giving their ending statements. then, the curtain drew back.

   the smile on donghyuck's face vanished. the glimmer in his eyes disappeared. the will to stand up went away and his knees buckled beneath him.

   "shit," donghyuck cursed under his breath. without drawing attention to himself, he took a seat on the couch in their shared waiting room while staff swarmed around him. "water please," donghyuck asked politely though he felt like dying inside.

   makeup brushes and wipes were shoved in his face before somone finally gave him a water bottle. he drank with the straw as much as possible without getting powder in his mouth before setting it down and letting the staff take over. neither lee sooman nor rino were there to priase him on his hard work and he really felt over everything. the fame, the money, the spotlight. donghyuck would've traded anything to be by mark's side snuggled up in a bed as two nobody's would.

   "good job haechan ah! you finished up the two nights well," donghyuck's manager pat him on the back. "thanks," donghyuck tried to smile. "get ready for the press confrence in five and then we'll be done for the day. maybe a group dinner before going back to the hotel for some rest until the seven am flight to seoul." "got it," donghyuck noddedm twisting his head to the side so the makeup artist could define his jaw a bit more.

   "where are the others?" donghyuck asked, trying to sound more cheerful so he wouldn't get scolded for not playing up his role. "in their respective rooms getting ready," his manager answer. a number of notifications went off on his phone which he checked before lifting his head back up to look at donghyuck. 

   "you aren't sick, are you? i see a lot of articles and tweets about you seeming a bit out of it tonight," his manager showed a few paragraphs for proof. "just peachy," donghyuck lied.

   if his manager wanted to say something back, he didn't get a chance to find out what it was because he was shoved into the changing room where his main stylist handed him a dress shirt and pants. "hurry up, we don't have time," they ordered.

   without arguing, donghyuck quickly changed and was pushed in line with the other members of his unit. everyone was making small talk with eachother to kill time as they waited for the press conference to begin.

   from outside the doors that they were waiting behind, they heard loud applause and camera shutters before the represensative of their unit began a speech. "... and now, the stars of tonights show. NCT!" the doors opened and donghyuck followed everyone out in a single file line. he tried to look just like he always did but clearly, his body wasn't having it. there was a slight sway in his walk and he looked unstable. scratch that— he was unstable. 

the room was spinning, voices echoed around him, the lights were blinding, his knees week. 

"haechan-ssi! how do you feel about being in more than one consistant unit?"

"haechan! many say that you are a perfectionist. were you satisfied with today's performance?"

"haechan lee! how do you regard the dating rumors between you and itzy member ryujin?"

   then the all too familiar feeling. his knees buckled and his weight collapsed, wait— he was the one that collapsed. his head hit the floor and everything else became a blur. voices faded out and light disappeared.

-----

word count: 2083

the goal is to finish this book by the end of the year

this had already gone on too long lmao (didn't mean to only update once in october btw)

p.s thank you for the reads!! u guys are crazy

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾