"i'm not feeling so good. i think i want to head back early," donghyuck said to his members, avoiding mark's concerned gaze. "we were going to go out to eat, though," chenle frowned. "i know, i'm sorry," donghyuck said. he didn't want to let anyone ask anymore questions so he quickly left with one last departing statement.

   "i'll see you all back at the dorms," donghyuck waved and met his manager outside of the building. "ready?" he asked as donghyuck entered the passenger's seat. he nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. if he was going to cry, he was going to cry in isolation at least.

   the drive back to the dorms was quite aside from the radio playing softly. when a news report about an LGBTQ+ couple coming out to the world and getting negative feedback started playing, he shut it off hastily, recieving a questioning look from his manager.

   he leaned back in his seat, closing his eyes. although it started as an excuse, he was actually begining to feel sick. knowing that there wasn't much time left until they made it to their destination, he squeezed his eyes tightly and took in deep breaths. he gave himself constant reminders that they'd be there soon until his manager parked the car and announced that they had arrived.

   he undid his seatbelt and got off the car, heading straight towards the dorms before even saying goodbye or thank you to his manager. he felt guilty about it,  but he really wasn't feeling emotionally or physically well. 

   as he waited for the elevator to arrive, his phone went off, signaling that he had recieved a message. he oulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked on his most recent notifictaion.

mark hyung:

if you're sick, make sure you don't sing or talk much and get plenty of sleep. 

drink lot's of water if you need to, and check your temperature every now and then.

   donghyuck rolled his eyes, feeling annoyed by mark for sending him so many mixed signals and making him feel things that he didn't understand. 'ik, it's not my first time being sick' he ended up sending back, instantly regretting it.

   the elevator arrived, giving him an excuse to shut off his phone and not check to see if mark responded or not. the elevator stopped at his floor so he got off, entering the dorm before heading straight to his and mark's shared bedroom. he threw himself on his bed and thought back on the past twenty-four hours.

   when he entered the room the night before, mark had snapped at him for nothing. he tried to forget about it by watching videos, but mark had been staring at him the whole time. he'd gotten so anxious that he decided it was better off to go to bed. 

   the next morning, he and mark barely talked as they had been doing for a while. they moved around eachother to get ready for the shoot without speaking. it made the entire room awkward and he and mark were never awkward. the shoot with jae jae was fun until the pepero game. donghyuck could've cried then and there, collapsing under all the pressure. yet, knew that he had to be professional. it was his job and he agreed to it when signing the contract for sm.

   he played the pepero game with mark, heart being unintentionally played with in the process. he almost allowed himself to give in to his physical and emotional wants infront of all those people, his members, and mark. he couldn't believe how crazy he was going because of his bestfriend.

   the same dorky bestfriend who once wore iron man underwear and had glasses and braces. the same hardworking bestfriend who he'd trained with late in the night until they both were drenched in sweat and would nearly pass out due to exhaustion. the same supportive bestfriend who would remind him that they would make it and debut as long as they were together. the same grown up bestfriend who he now wanted to kiss and wanted all for himself.

   he couldn't hold it any longer as hot tears fell from his eyes. he wiped at them furiously, scolding himself for crying. it's okay to be human, mark's voice rang in his head. he shook his head to clear it from those thoughts. he didn't want to think about mark more than he had to, especially if thinking about the said male made him particularly sad at the moment.

   just as he was about to take a nap to recharge, he remembered someone who was helpful when it came to the topic about mark. he quickly dialed their number, hoping that they didn't have schedules. 

   "hey haechan," jaehyun picked up. "hyung!" donghyuck cheered. "have you been crying?" jaehyun didn't miss how hoarse donghyuck's voice was. donghyuck answered truthfully, "i have." he could basically see jaehyun frowning on the other end of the line. "is it about mark again?" jaehyun asked, worry mixed with concern laced in his tone. 

   although there was no sign of aggrivation, donghyuck couldn't help but feel like a burden. "i'm sorry. i've only been talking to you about mark these days. i don't even check on you to see if you're okay," donghyuck apologized sincerely. "no, stop thinking like that," jaehyun warned him.

   "i told you that i'd help you through this, i'm not backing out now. this is too much to handle on your own, and i don't want you to feel forced to tell someone else about it because you have a hard time dealing with it," jaehyun told him. donghyuck sighed, "alright, but please tell me when you get tired of it." jaehyun agreed to his terms and donghyuck began venting about mark, once again. 

---

   all throughout lunch, mark couldn't stop thinking about donghyuck. had he crossed the line with the pepero game. did he disgust donghyuck so much that it made him sick? his brain thought about all the possibilities that could possibly be possible before he couldn't take it anymore.

   "i think i'll go back to the dorms and check on donghyuck," he announced to everyone. although a few of them looked disappointed, he was too worried about donghyuck to stay. his manager got his things together to drive mark back to the dorms.

   on the ride there, mark saw a billboard advertising a store. "can we stop there?" he asked his manager. he nodded and made a turn. that meant that the ride back to the dorms would take longer but becuase it was for donghyuck, it was worth it, and he wasn't going to regret a second of it. 

   "will you go in alone, or should i assist you?" his manager asked. mark shook hs head, "i'll go in alone. this should be quick." with that, he closed the car door behind him and entered the drug store. 

   the canadian walked through the isles of medicine, not sure of which one to get. donghyuck hadn't specified in what way he was feeling sick. mark hoped that he could help donghyuck as the younger seemed annoyed by him when he sent him a text earlier.

   since he couldn't decide, he ended up getting some stomache bug medicine, some asprins, iron pills, and every vitamin that he could think of just in case. the cahsier seemed surprised when he dumped the load onto the counter, but she didn't question it.

   after paying, mark walked back to the car with a plastic bag filled with medicine and vitamins. "are those all for haechan?" his manager asked. "yeah, i'm really worried about him," he admitted. once again, the ride was silent. mark liked it that way. he had a lot to think about and silence was the best way to somewhat organize his thoughts.

   donghyuck and he had been friends for ages. their nine year long friendship was something that he was incredibly proud. he always considered them to be some of the best friends in nct. he had always thought like that until he noticed donghyuck slowly growing distant from him.

   he noticed his irregular sleep patterns and eating habits. after seeing donghyuck looking so exhausted during each day that passed, he knew he needed to talk with him. he knew it wasn't a solution, but he bought a teddy bear for him.

   he shared what had been on his mind and how he hoped that donghyuck could count on him for anything whenever he needed someone when he gave the teddy bear to him. for the few days, it seemed to work. they grew closer and he began thinking that the teddy bear was a sort of lucky charm. then, once again, they grew apart.

   at their current state, it was painful how far apart they had become. mark had realized that somehow, around the time when he first gifted donghyuck the teddy bear, something about them changed. there was a shift in their system. the shift changed donghyuck and it changed him. 

   he could've thougt about what the thing that changed was for hours, but he didn't. he was interrupted by the car engine turning off and his manager announcing that they were there. mark thanked his manager for driving him and hurried to the dorm with the medicine in his hand as soon as possible. the ravenette tried to be extra quiet as he figured that donghyuck was probably resting.

   mark became aggrivated when he heard voices coming from his and donghyuck's room. he figured that a member or staff had entered to talk with donghyuck. donghyuck was probably too kind to tell them that he was sick and needed rest. mark sighed and entered the bedroom, ready to face whoever was in there bothering donghyuck.

   imagine his surprise when he sees donghyuck sprawled across his bed errupting in a fit of giggles over what a shirtless jaehyun is saying over the phone. mark's blood boiled, and before he could help it, he dropped the bag of medicine, catching jaehyun and donghyuck's attention.

   "you know you don't want to still be sick by tomorrow. we're having a comeback and that wouldn't be good," he said bitterly as donghyuck looked at him in surprise. the younger looked like he wanted to say something, but he failed to form words. "oh sorry, did i interrupt something?" mark asked sarcastically. 

   donghyuck's eyes watered while jaehyun stared at mark sternly through donghyuck's phone screen. he wanted to feel sorry, but he just couldn't, and he was sorry that he couldn't.

-----

word count: 1763

drama, am i right?

also, did i really just update two chapters in a day? yes, yes i did.

at this point, i just update when the chapter is done being written, so ignore all the posting schedules i mentioned before

✎ ---- dreaminghyuck⤾