Questions
For a fraction of a second, Aoife is stunned into silence. After all, what does one say to a person who does not believe in what you have to say? She is not sure if she is ready to go that far yet. While she knows that she may still be the first of the two to leave, it scares her that he could still disappear from her life once more. Aoife does not meet his eyes, instead averting her gaze before she turns away. She has just found a brother in him, but is it not meant to last? She has nothing to say. She would rather leave the question unanswered than open the rift that had kept them apart for all these years. Doubt and dread fill her mind. She knows that he can see her hesitation. He can see her closing off from him, but she does not know what else to do.
Nolan reaches for her cheek and brings her to face him. He raises her chin though he does not understand why she refuses to meet his eyes. Did he say something wrong? His touch is hesitant yet gentle. It is as though a single tough would leave her running for the woods.
"Listen, I understand if you do not want to tell me Aoife, but at least just look at me."
She raises her eyes to meet his, and she believes that she can trust herself to tell him a part of it, if not all. No one knows her secret- not even her father- but she will share a part of her burden with Nolan if he is willing to do so too.
"The girl in the woods is someone I have met only once before. I wanted to thank her for something she has done for me."
"Well, if she is your friend then surely I must have the pleasure of meeting her some day?" Nolan asks casually, though it does not have the intended effect.
"She is no friend of mine," she blurts while all Nolan can do is feel helpless about his situation. He is hurt. All he ever wanted to do was to be there for his sister, but he always seems to be asking the wrong questions. What was his sister hiding that made her refuse every answer?
For a while, he says nothing. He simple observes her. Every single feature of hers, he commits to his memory in case he never sees her again. She is growing frightfully thin; he realizes. Gone is the chubby little girl he had last seen before their families parted ways. He wishes for more time, and that the famine hadn't happened at all. At least he then, he need not watch her wasting away. There is something that troubles Aoife and he wants nothing more than to take the burden off her and help her any way he can. The realization that it may not be his place to do so troubles him.
Finally, he speaks to her once more.
"I think I should go. You seemed so happy with me before, but I think I have ruined it now."
"NO! No... please! Don't go..." she says, tears filling in her eyes. She did not intend to shut him out; it makes her feel guilty. Seeing her cousin walk away from her, or more precisely, the uncertainty of whether she would see him again pains her more than she cares to admit.
His eyes soften at that. He opens his arms out to her, and she doesn't think twice this time before accepting the comfort that they offer her. She feels almost as safe in his arms as she does in her father's and that is all she needs to let her tears flow freely once more. The two of them sit down once, Nolan holding her as she sniffles. One hand holds her close to him while the other simply runs through her hair in a comforting gesture.
"I'm not going anywhere, Aoife. I'm here now, and I don't intend to let you go anytime soon."
That gets him a small smile- it gives him the courage to try once more.
"I know something bothers you, Aoife. Why won't you let me help you?"
"You can't. I wish I could tell you, but it will be hard to understand. Just give me some time. Speaking of which, I think I can tell you more of my friend some day. You cannot meet her yet, but that doesn't mean that I can't speak of her right?"
"I get it. I really do." He pauses for a moment before asking, "What brought you back today?"
You know exactly what the rest of my family thinks of yours, so why take the chance? was the question that came to his mind, but he knew better than to ask the same of a young girl.
"I think you can see the answer Nolan. I know I don't have a lot of time left. None of us do. We're either going to starve ourselves out or fall ill, and there are going to be a lot fewer of us. We have no aid sent to us, and sooner or later, if this doesn't stop, the end will come. I wanted a family before that happened."
"What would you have done if we hadn't accepted you?"
"I wouldn't have given up. Now that I have met you, I don't think I can stand it anymore if they're going to take you away from me. I just wish I could find a way out."
Her words touch him, and he can feel the unfairness of it all. It is not enough that they need each other. He finds it unfair that their families must permit them to be brother and sister. The girl who stands before him has never grown up. She still craves for love, but now that he can give it to her, he still finds himself held back by his family. He makes an unspoken promise to himself to be with her till the end. He will not leave her alone. He will fulfill her dreams no matter what. He will make sure that the smile on her face never disappears, even if it means that the one on his face must.
He feels Aoife's soft breath against him and realizes that she has fallen asleep in his arms, worn out and overwhelmed by it all. He gently wakens her.
"Come, little one. It's time to go. The sun is going down, and I know you wouldn't want to stay here any longer. It'll get cold and dark."
She gets up at that and follows him to her house as he leads the way, but stops a few footsteps away from the door. The sleep hadn't entirely relinquished its hold on her, but even through the bleariness in her eyes, he can see that she is loath to let him go.
"I promise I will come back for you tomorrow. I'll come and find you."
As he turns to leave, she looks at someone over his shoulder, and remembers. She asks him a single question- "Will you tell me what happened that night?"
Nolan nods once, as if to say that he had expected the question and says "Maybe, someday." With that, he leaves for home.
Even as he comes closer to home, Nolan cannot help but wonder if Aoife's father is not at fault after all. He thinks back to the question that his little sister had asked of him. There is only one reason he did not tell her right away- he does not want her to drift away when he has only found her. It has to do with her mother, and he does not want to let those bitter memories resurface. She would be sure to blame someone and he cannot bear to see the family split once more, but somehow, he knows that he will tell her anyway. He had asked her questions she had not wanted to answer. She had asked him only one, and it was only fair that he answered it. He has a feeling that he would tell it all, if she asked it of him even one more time. He knows that he could not resist blurting it all out if it meant that it would keep the little one happy. Whether she would truly be happy with the answer or not is something no one knows, and he is not sure if he wants the answer either.
His thoughts go out to the few hours they had spent together. What could his sister be hiding that she refuses to tell anyone? That she is ready to tell him warms his heart, but he fears for her. He has heard of unexplainable things. He does not want her to go into the forest alone any more. He will go with her. If the stories of the faerie spirits in the trees are true, he will take no chances with it. He knows that her father may stop him from approaching his daughter so often, and it is then that he realises something- there is a chance that Aoife would hear the truth too soon and he would not be there to do anything about it. He decides immediately. He would join her on her way to the forest, for he is sure that is where she will go, but even before that, he would do something of greater importance- he will answer her.
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