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Forgiveness

"Mother, I have something to ask of you."

"What is it, Aodhán? It has been long since you asked anything of me, yet your tone tells me to be wary of what you will ask."

"Have you ever thought of forgiving uncle? Aíntin Aine loved them. I do not think she would want them to live alone like that."

Alma looks outraged. It is as though even the mere thought of forgiving is scandalous and out of question, though it has not escaped his notice that she looks upon Aoife like a daughter now, and is not as hostile towards their uncle.

"What has gotten into you? Just yesterday you were willing to be done with them for good, but now you are asking me to forgive him?"

"I just thought... you know we may not all live through this, Mamaí. I fear for Aoife. If anything happens, I do not want to be the one to have denied her final wish."

"You still care for her, do you not?"

He hesitates before answering. It is hard to accept that he has no control over what he feels for his cousin sister.

"Yes. I do. I never stopped, and neither did you, is it not?"

"I know, a pheata. You used to adore her when she was little. More from afar, really. Such love does not disappear easily. I do not hold it against you. I loved your aunt that way too."

"Will you speak to him?"

"Who, your uncle? For my family, yes. It is not worth letting you all down. I do not think I can ever truly offer my forgiveness, but I think it is simply time to let go of this hostility."

Aodhán definitely does not expect her to give in so easily. Maybe she is just looking for a reason to forgive, he tells himself. No matter how hard they have tried, Aoife has still managed to worm her way into their hearts. It would not to do well with any of them to see her unhappy.

To say that Aoife's father is shocked to have had Alma seeking him out is a huge understatement. He definitely expects nothing good of it, and so asks that all their children leave the room. Aodhán is the only one of the three not bothered by it, but all he says is that it will turn out all right. Nolan does not pry, but Aoife has no qualms about letting the entire household know that she is expecting answers. She puzzles the two brothers. She is far younger than them, and at times like now, it is very obvious, but there are other times when her eyes and words give them the illusion that she is not younger by far. Aodhán does not know why, but he has a growing suspicion on his mind. Nolan puts it down to the fact that she grew up with only a father to care for her, but he suspects that is not all though he keeps his doubts to himself.

Forgiveness is not an easy thing to give away. Aodhán knows that firsthand. He does not blame Aoife for what happened to her mother, but he cannot forgive her for the despair that it caused for him to walk away. He does not want to let her in once more, but it will be a lie to say that she hasn't done so already. For now, he will watch her from afar. Love her from afar as Nolan once did, but some day, he will make the final leap and Aoife will have the whole family that she craves for. It takes a long while for his mother and uncle to reconcile and when they finally walk out that door, both their eyes show faint traces of crying, his mother's even more so, but he can see that their past no longer stands as a rift between them. Some day, he reminds himself as he goes to bed, his mother having decided that they will stay the night.

Soon after, he wakes up to hear soft footsteps. He ignores it at first, but changes his mind as soon as he hears a strangled sound- as though someone is trying to hide the fact that they are crying. The moment that sound is followed by a harsh cough, he abandons all rational thought and gets off the bed to walk in the direction of the sound. Even as he rounds a dark corner, Aoife turns around, sensing that she is not alone. She squints for a while, trying to make out who it is that stands before her. As though upon instinct, he stretches his arms out to her, and at that moment it her doubts appear to vanish. Within the blink of an eye, he finds Aoife clutching on to him as though he is her lifeline. He stiffens imperceptibly, surprised by her acceptance of him, but wraps his arms around her.

For a long while they stay that way, having walked outside and seated themselves beneath the willow, shrouded by the darkness of the night, the moon hidden away behind the clouds. Beneath the stars, Aoife sniffles quietly even as he whispers sweet platitudes and strokes her hair comfortingly. Neither of them speak, the sound of Aoife's wheezing breath filling the air until she speaks, still trying to control her ragged breathing.

"Nolan... I thought you-"

"Hush, deirfiúr. It was only a bad dream. He is safe. You are safe."

Aoife withdraws quickly. She knows that the voice does not belong to Nolan. It is slightly deeper.

"I thought... you are not Nolan!"

Aodhán freezes. For a while, he considers denying everything that just happened. He considers admonishing her, or pretending to be his brother- the darkness would help testify his blatant lie- but he decides against it. The time for hiding is over. He cares for her much like Nolan does. There is no use denying it. I just did not expect that it would be today, he says to himself.

"No Aoife, I am not, but if you would like it, I will still be here for you. You are my sister too, are you not?"

This time, when Aoife hugs him of her own accord, he welcomes the feeling of familial love that washes over him. He has missed it. He accepts the fact that it feels good to be loved like this once more. He is definitely not as trusting as Aoife is towards him, but he is ready to give her a chance. That is the least he can do before time runs out.

"I thought you hated me and all I know is that I didn't like that feeling. I have always wanted you to be my brother too. Nolan told me once that you used to be the one who looked after me when we were younger. Is that true?"

"Let us see for ourselves, shall we?"

Before she knows what is happening, he twirls her around, and even as she squeals in delight. Even as the two of them walk back in after Aoife coughs again, a hand draped around the other and bad dreams forgotten, they miss the figure that watches them. Nolan watches the entire scene playing out in front of him. It heartens him to know that his brother has finally stopped pushing Aoife away. A small smile adorns his face, but it does not reach his eyes. He still thinks of the words that Aodhán has said to him. Tomorrow. He will ask Aislinn tomorrow.

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