My body used to tremble when I was around my father, but now I'm free from him. He use to fiercely pound his large fist at me when he was angry over nothing,he blamed everything on me and my mother. She was released from her pain and needless suffering early before me. I was five years old when all of the what my father called it "punishment" started happening. I would cry and whimper soft but fierce tears into my rough pillow. He would come in my room late at night and make me expose my tiny premature naked body to him just so he could see what I looked like after my punishment. I was so ashamed to say my father looked at me.

As the years went on nothing really changed except the intensity of my beatings. My mother used to beg my father not to hurt me. But one day I was on the verge of falling apart. I was so helpless I wanted to die instantly, but my father was coming after me with rage in his fierce blue eyes. My mother chased after him begging and pleading him to punish her and not me so he did. It was so painful to watch. In the end she couldn't hold on as long as she wanted to. So that's how I lost my mother.

When I turned 15 he had a "friend" come over and sexual and mentally abuse me. I was used for enjoyment, embarrassment, and pleasure. A sick son of a bitch if you ask me. Who, who in God's name would do something to a helpless child. Well I ended up pregnant with a strangers baby, I was kinda of relieved because I didn't get as much intense punishment from being with child.

Nine miserable months passed by ever so slowly. When that baby came out it was relief to me and my father. He delivered her for me, once he found out the wondrous sex of the helpless child he slowly and painfully killed her. He made me watch and I begged and pleaded just as my mother had for me for him to punish me not her. Then I realized my life wasn't going to change from the unusual way it had known. I told him to kill me to set me free, but from me just asking he beat me. After that beating I noticed he wasn't going to put me out of misery, because it would look like pitty on his behalf.

A week flew by and I made my undecided decision. I murdered myself. But in the end I set my own self free. I saw the glowing face of my maker who was awaiting my arrival. Also who was waiting on me was my astonishing my mother. She looked beautiful but she was holding my once newborn who looked as free as ever. They both were waiting on me to retreat to them. As I walked away I knew where my useless father was going, and that was straight to hell. I watched my father for days. He eventually went insane having no one to repeatedly beat and torture. I found my own relief. I forgive my hell born father for all he has done wrong and God I know he forgives him but he refuses to allow him inside, so he sends him straight to burning hell.