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9.2


Zhao Jiayi

. A few Days Ago.

"Li Xiao seems to have taken your suggestion, he just may marry Ai-Li instead."

There was a pang in my chest as I walked up to the doors of his chamber and knocked hesitantly.

He had chosen Ai-Li.

Li Xiao had chosen Ai-Li.

I shook myself from the thought as the doors opened and he stared back at me for a moment. I bowed slightly. "I brought some food."

He moved to the side with an unreadable expression. "Come in then."

Carefully, I walked into the room and looked around before setting the tray on the table to lay out the food.

He had chosen Ai-Li...how? He'd never spoken to her, he barely even glanced her direction. Just how did he manage to...

"I must congratulate you General Xiao." He frowned a bit before pulling out a stool to sit at the front of the table. "What do you mean?" Taking a deep breath, I forced the next words out of my mouth. "On choosing your bride. I'm glad you've chosen Ai-Li."

Li Xiao opened his mouth, only to close, then open, then close again in a repetitive cycle. "How did you find out?"

I set the tea on the table before him and then turned to sit down as well. "Your cousin, General Wu-Ji did. He told me not to long ago, so I also came to give you my congratulations."

"Is that really why you came Ah-Yi?"

I froze in my movements for a brief moment before regaining my composure. "What do you mean by that General?"

The steam from the rice in the bowl rose slowly and I focused my attention on that instead as he spoke. "You only came to congratulate me on choosing your sister?"

No, I didn't...but he didn't need to know that. "Shi, it comes as quite a surprise-."

"And why is that?"

My palms began to sweat. "You've never spoken to her or of her. I'm just surprised at that."

"I took your advice, didn't I?" I let out a sigh and nodded. "That you did."

He didn't say anything else in response, reaching out to grasp the bowl of rice and bring it closer to him. "You bring me food in here often, don't you all usually eat in the main hall?"

Thank God for the change in subject. "Sometimes we do, but I'm sure you must be hungry since we don't eat every meal there."

"I haven't seen your grandmother with us."

"She is sick often lately, it is hard for her to leave Dong Wu and greet you all, I'm sorry for that." Li Xiao shook his head. "Don't be."

When silence settled down in the room once again, I grasped the tray and brought it close to my chest. "I'll leave you to your meal Huxia-."

"Tell me more about your sister...Ai-Li."

-

"Pardon?"

He grasped the chopsticks without looking up at me. "Tell me more about Ai-Li. You're right, I barely know anything about her...I should learn more, shouldn't I?"

The slight pang in my chest heightened my discomfort.

He had picked Ai-Li, he had listened to what I had said, and all my hopes had not gone to waste.

And yet here I was, standing in his chambers, and I wasn't...happy.

"Sit."

I did without question, still tightly grasping the tray in my hand as I lay it on my lap. I cleared my throat awkwardly. "What would you like to know General?"

"What do you think I'd need to know about my future wife?"

He began eating at that, watching me carefully as he reached for the rice with a small, slightly upturned lip.

Why did a part of me feel as though he were testing me?

I raked through my memories in order to find out something, anything to begin speaking of Ai-Li. If the match-maker had asked a few weeks before about this, I would have no end of thing to say about her.

And yet it was so hard to find something out now.

"Well, you already now how talented she is in music, but its such an important part of her life. She can't live without it. Our mother, before she died, got Ai-Li jie-jie a zither as a gift when she turned eight years old, and often times they'd spend the entire night playing music and singing together...the manor was never quite because of it. Even after she died, Ai-Li still plays throughout the night sometimes...it's become a habit to always have music here."

He nodded. "You play music as well, don't you?"

"I do, but only the flute, Ai-Li can play nearly every instrument, I haven't seen one that she could play."

"Do you two play often?"

It didn't occur to me just how my back became less stiff, or how a smile began spreading on my lips.

-

Li Xiao

She was smiling.

"During the new year, my father opens the manor for the entire city. Anyone can come, rich or poor, and during that time, my sisters and I perform."

Then she paused. "It'll be sad when one of us is gone..."

Jiayi had to realize it, there was no way that she didn't even have a hint that I was actually asking about her, wanting to learn about her. "What else do you do during the New Year?"

The smile returned just as quickly as it had left. "Lili dances along to the music more often than not, Roaxi has her poetry and Qiuyue had her paintings on lanterns that we give out, I'm often with the children or with the elders telling stories, and Zhen-Ting and Liang-jie do a performance for the townsfolk with their martial arts. It's nearly the biggest event in Luoyang."

Nodding quietly, I fiddled with the small cup in front of me. "Are you closest to your eldest sister or someone else?"

"Actually...I'm closest to Zhen-Ting. We're twin-cousins, and our parents loved to say. But I can still tell you more of Eldest Sister if you want to hear?"

For a smart woman...she was blind when it came to matters like this.

Tang Zhen-Ting

"So without you even realizing it, you were bonding with the general the entire time he was here."

Jiayi groaned again in despair. "I didn't realize it! Whenever he was not with me I believed him to be courting Ai-Li." I fought back a laugh. "Ah-Yi, he was with his cousin plotting the entire time he wasn't with you...how blind could you be?"

She glared at me. "I'm stupid when it comes to this Zhen-Ting. Father never allowed us to be courted and you expect me to be an expert on these sort of things? If there's one thing I don't know, it is how men court."

"And you're unhappy because he tricked you? Or because you fell for it and were jealous that you thought he chose Eldest Cousin?"

When she hesitated to respond, I sighed.

"Here you are, moping in your room as if you betrayed your father, sister, grandmother...Everyone! It isn't betrayal unless they expected something from you Jiayi."

"You're saying they didn't?" Just then I realized how little light was entering the room; I frowned. "What I am saying...is that you have a distorted version of loyalty Ah-Yi. Loyalty means to never turn your back against someone, even when it seems that they are in the wrong....it does not mean to sacrifice your happiness, your all when they do not ask it."

Jiayi shifted forward. "Who says that I am sacrificing anything?" I leaned back with slight amusement. "You mean to tell me that you had no interest in the Huixia at all, none whasoever?"

When she did not respond, I chuckled softly and got up, reaching over to pat her shoulder before heading towards the door. "Zhao Jiayi...I hope you never realize it the hard way, but putting yourself last in everything...will ultimately put you in more danger than you can imagine. Think about yourself once in a while. Alright?"

And when she did, Jiayi looked up at me and let out a large breath of air. "I'm getting married?"

I smiled, pushing the dread of being alone to the back and simply smiling, for her.

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