It was a simple sunny day. It was calm. School had ended, and the warmth of summer crept in. Remus lay in his backyard enjoying the sunshine on his skin. It was as if the sun was leaving little kisses on his face. He enjoyed the simple things; the soft grass, the warm sun, the blue sky, and the cool breeze. You had to enjoy the simple things when you were stuck alone.

Loneliness ...

It was an emotion Remus was much too familiar with. Quarantine kept him separated, but everyone hated him anyway. People probably didn't really hate him. He just felt like it most of the time, causing himself to push others away. Everytime he realized people he enjoyed the company of didn't hate him, it was too late. They had left him behind. He wasn't close friends with people. He was a friend or acquaintance. Well that was for everyone except his best friend, Janus.

Janus and Remus had been best friends since middle school when Remus was the only one who talked to Janus. They met in class when the teacher separated Remus from the people he was talking to because he was too loud. She decided to sit Remus next to the quiet kid, Janus. What the teacher hadn't accounted for was Remus taking even though Janus barely responded. What she did expect either was Remus getting Janus out of his shell. That was the day the teacher learned no matter what she did, Remus would never shut up.

Back to him in the grass. Today was a day better than most because it was Wednesday. Wednesdays were the days him and Janus would call and talk for hours. It was mostly Remus ranting about something random like how ice skates should be called ice blades and ice skates would have two blades (I literally rant about this way too much). It may be Remus just ranting, but Janus enjoyed his company. Janus was still an introvert, but he loved hearing the extrovert goof off. Remus was someone to make jokes to, and Janus had someone to talk to about life. It was good.

Remus had been enjoying the calls much more recently, as he had developed a slight crush on his best friend. He couldn't help it. Janus was the only one who seemed to care about him anymore. His brother said he could talk to him whenever, but Remus knew Roman would get annoyed very easily with Remus' antics.

A cold breeze ran over Remus' face and through he hair. It was nice, but it gave him chills. He sat up and pulled out his phone to check the time; 5:02 pm. He had been laying in the grass for a whole hour. Deciding it was time to go back inside, he stood up hearing a satisfactory pop from his knees.

After eating dinner with his family, Remus excitedly ran upstairs to get on call with Janus. They hadn't had a face to face talk in a year, but they started video calling a few months ago. It was the one good thing to come from quarantine. Remus had been lonely without Janus. The new school Remus went to led to him falling back into pushing people away, but Janus was the only person he could never force out of his life, the one person he didn't have a gut feeling that they hated him.

Remus decided to text Janus first in case Janus couldn't answer immediately but could call in a few minutes.

Call tonight?
Sent 8:16

Omg I totally forgot! I can't call tonight. My family is talking about getting a dog, so I have stay around them. I'm so sorry.
Sent 8:17

Oh that's nice
Sent 8:17

Remus felt his heart crack. He knew he shouldn't feel so sad. This happened occasionally, but tonight, for some reason, it hurt a lot.

Again I'm sorry. I won't let it happen again.
Sent 8:19

No need to apologise.
Sent 8:20

No need to apologise because there was no reason Remus should be this worked up. He could feel the tears in his eyes. God! Why did he have to be such a crybaby?!

I'll make it up to you. I promise.
Sent 8:24

You don't need to do anything.
Sent 8:25

He shouldn't feel this way. He wanted to talk to someone. He wanted to tell someone he was sad. Logan would listen. No he didn't want to bother him again. He already distracts him too much. Maybe Roman could help. No he would just ask why Remus was bothering him.

Remus realized Patton, Emile, and Remy were on a Discord call. Patton and Emile would know just what to say. Remy might even cheer him up!

He quickly got on the call. They were in the middle of a conversation, so Remus stayed quiet. Remy noticed him, though.

"What are you doing here, Remus?" Remy asked casually.

"Just wanted to distract myself from being sad," Remus said quieter than everyone had been talking earlier.

"Cool." Remy immediately went back to talking to the others. Everytime Remus tried to add to the conversation, the others would talk over him. It got to the point where Remus just gave up.

"I'm gonna go," Remus said somberly. The others didn't even respond. They just continued on with their conversation.

Remus sat in the corner of his room. It was funny. Today had been a great day, but people ruined it. This was why Remus hated being an extrovert...

He needed people, but people didn't need him.

He wished the simple things could be enough, but humans are social creatures. They need others, but sometimes it didn't seem to be with it.

Today was a horrible say for Remus because of one small thing in an ocean of good. Maybe Remus was the real antagonist if this own story. The protagonists were everyone else around him. That seemed right.

----------------------------------------

That actually seemed to help. I don't want to cry anymore. Writing it down seemed to give me a bigger picture than the small point of view I get being in the moment. I think I'll be using this story a whole lot.

Until next time,
Raccoon ❤️