Warnings: Profanity, angst

Word Count: 2742

Authors' Note: Enjoy the chapter! :)

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October 2014 - Middle of the Quiet is Violent Tour

You idly stirred your coffee with one hand as you texted out a message to Beau with the other. The tour bus was quiet, aside from Tyler and Jenna chatting on the couch across from you. Josh had just come back from a run and was currently showering before all of you got a start on the day.

"Are you going to be ready to leave once Josh is out of the shower?" Jenna asked, looking over to you.

Ever since she had joined you and the rest of the boys on tour a few days ago, the two of you had become fast friends. You already found yourself going to her every time something new with Josh came up, and she already knew all the details of your rocky relationship, right from the moment that you joined the tour crew. You hadn't realized how much you needed a best friend - that wasn't one of the boys - on tour until she came along.

"Leave? Where are we going?" you asked, finally setting your phone down.

"You, me, and the boys are going to explore the city on our day off."

A chill ran down your spine at the mention of the boys, because that undoubtedly included Josh. The two of you still hadn't had a discussion about what happened that one day at the beginning of tour and had been avoiding each other because of it. Tension was always present when you were in a room together.

"I think I'm going to pass. Beau wanted to FaceTime later."

Jenna shook her head, "You're coming. It's decided."

"Jen," you pouted.

"We're going to go out there and have fun, ok?" She leaned around Tyler for a moment to check the bathroom door, then added in a whisper, "And you and Josh are going to tolerate being around one another for awhile."

You groaned and leaned your head back against the wall, knowing there was no changing Jenna's mind once it was decided. She smiled and leaned back into Tyler's shoulder, letting her arms wrap lazily around him. He lightly ran his fingers along her arm, letting the slightest hint of a smile cross his face.

You didn't mean to stare at them, but it was hard not to when you began to think about sitting with Josh on that same couch with your arms wrapped around one another. Warmth began to spread throughout you, matching the places where Josh's arms had been wrapped around you.

"I'm going to get ready," you said, standing up so suddenly that you nearly spilled your coffee all along the table. "Oh sh-"

"Hey!" Tyler said, pointing a finger at you. "We do not tolerate that kind of language on the bus!"

"Shove it, Joseph," you laughed.

You grabbed your coffee cup and wandered towards your bunk where all your toiletries were sitting. The shower had finally shut off, meaning the bathroom would be free for you to use before long.

"We leave in ten minutes," Jenna called after you.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be ready."

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The streets of Austin were surprisingly warm as you wandered down them, taking in all the little shops and restaurants. Jenna and Tyler were at the front of your tiny group, blissfully unaware of the silence between you and Josh as they walked along hand in hand. You had tried to break the silence a couple times, but no matter how hard you tried you just couldn't seem to get words out.

A few blocks down, Josh and Tyler had finally managed to start their own conversation about some upcoming shows that they were excited about. This was your chance. Pretending to seem interested in the nearest store window, you linked arms with Jenna and pulled her toward it unsuspectingly. You were mentally yelling at her for doing this to you.

"Why the hell did you bring me out here, Jenna? You know exactly what's going on between Josh and me. This is so awkward. For the both of us," you yell-whispered at her, not looking in her direction but through the glass, so you didn't draw attention. Jenna just smirked a bit and shook her head as she looked inside with you.

"Tyler has told me how long this has gone on and it's ridiculous. You two need to have a talk. You can't spend all of this tour avoiding each other... he's your boss, Y/N. Not to mention your friend... and something else."

"Something else?" You quirk a brow, curiously.

"Don't play dumb, goofball. Tyler sees it... I see it... don't pretend that you don't see it yourself."

As you and Jenna looked into the window, Josh and Tyler stopped walking and stood on the other side of the sidewalk a little further down to give you space. Tyler planned it that way, so that nothing was heard and Josh was out of earshot. There was a temporary silence between them as Josh was pretending to be preoccupied with his phone.

"So, how has Y/N been doing?" he asked Tyler nonchalantly, but received a slight scoff.

"Josh, you can ask her yourself. She's literally a few feet away." Josh looked up from the cellphone screen and narrowed his eyes to his friend with a shake of his head.

"Are you kidding me? We couldn't even find two words to say to each other on the walk here. That's not happening," he mumbled and shoved his phone back in his pocket, becoming grumpy.

A soft chuckle escaped Tyler's lips and he shook his head, seeing you and Jenna finally make your way back over to them. He instantly gave her a look that she shared with him, secretly letting one another know that their plan wasn't working. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and they started walking again.

"There's this coffee shop that I heard of and it should be just up here. Do you mind if we go in and get something?" Jenna asked Tyler softly and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't see why not."

You walked in uncomfortable silence beside Josh and ran your hand up and down your arm while staring down to the ground. You could tell that he was trying to come up with something to say, but the words weren't coming out. You knew the struggle.

"Y/N/N, what do you want?" Jenna asked, turning over her shoulder to look at you.

"Um, I think I'll just have a medium iced tea?"

Jenna repeated your order to the teenage boy standing behind the register. You started to reach into your wallet for some cash, but Tyler held out a hand to stop you.

"I've got it."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, Jenna dragged you out here, so it's only fair I pay."

"Hey!" Jenna laughed, turning to him.

You glanced at Josh, only to see that he was smiling along with the rest of you. He started to turn towards you, so you quickly averted your eyes to look at your beat up shoes. Your gaze remained there until Jenna linked arms with you and led you to one of the tables near the window. She plopped you down in a seat that ensured you would be sitting right next to Josh.

"I'm going to run to the bathroom real quick," Josh said before he had a chance to sit down. "I'll be right back."

You watched Josh's back as he disappeared down a small hallway and around a corner. As soon as he was out of earshot, Jenna and Tyler leaned in towards you. The movement shocked you enough that you leaned away and pressed your back into the wall.

"We're really trying here and you are giving us absolutely nothing to work with," Tyler sighed.

Your eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

"This whole not-talking thing is getting really tiring, Y/N. Even the crew members are starting to take note of it."

"Every single one has asked me at least once why you and Josh keep giving each other longing glances," Tyler chimed in.

"Longing glances? What does that-"

"Listen," Jenna reached out and rested her hand on top of yours. "Everyone can tell that you two are into each other."

You started to shake your head, shooting looks at both Tyler and Jenna, "I have no idea what you two are talking about. I have a boyfriend, for Christ's sake. Did you just forget about him?"

"Y/N," Tyler's voice dropped to just above a whisper. "I've seen you and Beau together. There's no love between you anymore. Just loyalty."

"This is outrageous," you huffed, though you couldn't help the nagging feeling in your stomach that Tyler had a point. "I do not have feelings for Joshua Dun."

Jenna and Tyler shared a knowing look.

"Not even a little?" Jenna asked.

You looked into her eyes and with the most deadpan expression you could muster, you repeated her words. "Not even a little."

The two of them leaned back in their chairs just as Josh emerged from the little hallway again. As much as you wanted to be angry at Tyler and Jenna for what they had said, you knew they were doing it from a place of love. They wanted you to be happy, and they knew that Josh would do that for you.

Now all you had to do was convince yourself.

"Did I miss anything exciting?" Josh asked as he took a seat next to you.

You slowly shook your head, never letting your eyes leave the table.

The coffee shop had been a nice little distraction from all of the awkwardness that had been going on, as Tyler and Jenna talked to the both of you and didn't try to force anything more between you and Josh. It almost felt normal again, despite the fact that you two had to sit right beside one another. That was the only thing that you would've changed. But, it seemed to be going well enough that you weren't too worried about it. Once you all felt revitalized enough with caffeine, you all rose from your seats and left to do some more walking around town.

As you took in more of the area, you heard Josh ask Tyler a question but it went unanswered as he and Jenna were too infatuated with one another to reply. Either that or they were purposefully ignoring anything that you both had to say so that you would have no other choice but to speak to one another. You looked over to Josh, who seemed a bit irked at the silent treatment and then sighed deeply. Damn, their plan was working.

"So, um... how have you been?" you asked Josh softly, seeming a bit nervous to even initiate anything.

Josh looked over to you and had a look of surprise on his face as you started talking to him. Taking a deep breath and shoving his hands into his jean pockets, he shrugged his shoulders a bit and chewed on his lower lip slightly.

"I've been alright. Busy, but, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Busy. I get it," you responded, starting to rub the back of your neck out of pure stress. You looked ahead to the precious couple up ahead and briefly saw Tyler looking back over his shoulder at you with a small smirk, before shaking his head and giggling with Jenna. You threw an icy glare in his direction, before softening your face to look to Josh as it seemed like he would start talking again as he turned to face you. He gently grabbed your arm to stop the both of you from walking, looking down into your eyes sincerely.

"Look, Y/N... I..." he started and was then interrupted by the sound of Jenna's voice yelling at Tyler as he had his fingers pinched, dangling his cellphone over the edge of the bridge that they were now standing on, threatening to drop it into the water below. You forced yourself not to groan at Tyler and Jenna's impeccable timing and then shook your head, looking up to Josh as the both of you had turned to see what all of the commotion had been about. The both of you just laughed shyly and pretended as if nothing had almost just been brought up.

Not wanting to get caught in another awkward silence, you closed the space between you and Jenna and linked arms with her before Tyler had another chance to steal her away. She seemed a bit surprised by the sudden movement, but happily adjusted her arm in yours and started to walk the rest of the way across the bridge.

"Was that," she paused and looked over her shoulder for a moment, "conversation that I heard between you and Josh?"

"Briefly," you sighed. "He was about to say something to me when Tyler decided he needed to hang his phone over the side of a bridge."

You and Jenna both turned to see what the boys were up to. They were still standing in the middle of the bridge, except now Josh was filming Tyler as he dangled his phone over the edge. Jenna shook her head and kept walking.

"Has Tyler told you about his habit of interrupting Josh and I all the time? Almost every time something serious is about to happen, he comes running in."

"He hasn't mentioned it, no. Probably because he's absolutely oblivious that he's even doing it."

"Of course he is," you scoffed. "He gets mad when Josh doesn't make a move and then ruins it when he does."

"So you're admitting that something is going on between you and Josh?" Jenna asked, one of her eyebrows raising.

"No, not at all. That's not - Jen, please. I'm so tired of this conversation."

"Oh, Y/N, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stress you."

Jenna held her arms out, inviting you in for a hug. You gladly accepted it, happy to have a bit of physical contact with someone. Between being apart from Beau and Josh generally avoiding you, the most affection you got was a playful shove from Tyler every now and again. It was nice to hug someone.

"It's ok. I guess... I just have a lot going on in my head that I haven't been able to sort out."

Jenna pulled away so that she could hold you at arm's length. Her blue eyes shifted to the space behind you for a moment before meeting yours.

"You know you can always talk to me, whether I'm on tour or not. And I know Tyler likes to get involved in these things, but if you need something to be top secret, I'm your girl."

You were so relieved to hear those words from Jenna that you almost started crying on the spot. It seemed that the stress of a bigger tour, things with Josh, and being away from home was really starting to get to you. Maybe even more than you had realized.

The boys' laughter slowly started to grow louder, prompting Jenna to drop her hands away from your arms. Tyler was quick to put his hands on Jenna's waist and press a gentle peck to her lips. You tried not to scrunch your nose too much at the display of affection.

"Coming?" Josh asked, resting a hand on your shoulder.

After averting your eyes, you hadn't even realized that Tyler and Jenna had made their way down the sidewalk. Josh had seemingly waited behind, just to make sure that you didn't end up lost in a city that you had never been to.

"Yeah, sorry."

Josh let his hand fall away, leaving you with only a hint of warmth where his fingers had been. You tried not to focus on it too much, knowing that it would only make figuring everything out harder. Speculation never did you any good.

"It's nice out here, isn't it?" Josh said.

An attempt at conversation from him was enough to make you look at him with wide eyes. His own gaze remained on Tyler and Jenna ahead of you, so he didn't notice. You figured that was probably a good thing.

"Yeah. I'm surprised it's this warm out, you know, with it being fall and all."

"Fall and all," Josh smiled. "Yeah."

You took a deep breath and let your shoulders relax a little. Maybe this didn't have to be so difficult, after all.