I felt a sharp pain in my forehead. It was dark all around me. I quickly realized it was because my eyes were closed. I opened them up and saw nothing but white. What's going on...?

I sat up and looked forward. I was in some sort of small, square room covered in white tiles. There was a circular door ahead of me. It appeared to be the only way out of here.

I rubbed my forehead to try and ease the pain. That's when I quickly noticed I wasn't wearing my rubber glove on my right hand! I looked down and saw that I wasn't even in my uniform! I was in some sort of orange jumpsuit, as well as some kind of funny-looking boots. No goggles, no hat, nothing from my original wardrobe. Somehow, I didn't even feel like myself anymore.

I then heard some soft groaning behind me. I quickly turned around and saw a young brunette woman curled up in the back corner! She was wearing the same kind of orange jumpsuit, but she had the upper half of it wrapped around her waist like you would a sweater, and instead was wearing some sort of white tank top.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked around. When her eyes landed on me, though, they widened instantly and she sat up faster than Scout runs.

"Don't be frightened!" I reassured as I put my hands up.

I then paused a second before a small smile emerged on my face.

"Well, given the circumstances, maybe you should be. But not at me. That's what I was getting at."

She continued to stare at me with an untrusting gaze.

"Oh, where are my manners?" I asked myself as I extended my hand. "I'm Dell. Dell Conagher."

Nothing.

"I know it's a weird name," I admitted as I rubbed the back of my bare bald head. "That's why I prefer to be called 'Engie'."

She suddenly seemed confused, and rightfully so.

"Oh, right," I told her with a chuckle. "It's because I'm an engineer, and as a mercenary, we try to keep our names anonymous, so we're called by our class names."

Now she just looked at me like I was crazy.

"Uh, maybe I should just stop talking," I said sheepishly at the ground.

"Why? I was enjoying that history lesson."

The voice of that giant robot blared overhead. We both looked up at the ceiling out of instinct. I looked in surprise. She, however, seemed to look up in anger.

"Don't expect much out of her, Mr. Conagher. She's not exactly a 'people person'. In fact, with as slow and fat as she is, I wouldn't even say she's a person at all."

I looked at the brunette woman, who continued to stare at the ceiling with a furious expression. She wasn't what I'd call petite, but I would in no way call her fat. Of course, whether or not she was, I suppose that would be enough to make a woman angry.

"No matter. She should be thanking me. She looked lonely down there, all by herself. So I decided to give her a friend to play with. And judging by what I'm seeing, I think you two going to get along just fine."

"What's going on here?" I asked the woman. "Where are we? Where is my team? Who is this woman?"

"Well, if you must know the answer to all of those, I suppose I can't see any harm in telling you. What's going on is you are now a test subject for our portal gun experiments. You are in the top-secret facility of Aperture Science, a place nobody should know exists, yet you and your weird friends found a way in, anyway. As for them, they're all in separate testing tracks for the same experiment. Don't worry; they're all paired with someone else from the group, so don't expect them to get lonely. And as for HER...

There was a pause before I heard a soft chuckle.

"It's a funny story that SHE can tell you herself. It would be funnier if she explained it. I'm not great with humor."

None of this was making sense. I thought Aperture Science was just a small facility, not some hi-tech fiasco! And 'portal gun'? Is that similar to my teleporter? And the men... I hope they're all safe...

I turned to the nameless woman, waiting for her to explain what was going on. Alas, nothing but a stern glare and a slow shake of the head.

"Hm. Then I guess our new friend will forever be clueless. Oh, well. Time to get back to what you do best: testing."

The door at the end of the room opened up, and we both turned towards it. We stared at it for a few seconds before turning back at each other.

"Ladies first?" I offered.

She rolled her eyes and walked to the door. I somehow get the feeling I'm not going to be enjoying what comes next.