"!"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"!"

Sakura seriously contemplated whether there was a rock big enough in the world to hurl at the idiot.

"!"

Kakashi kept on reading his porn.

"!"

"Gaah!" Sasuke broke first. "For the last time, you cannot perform chidori! Stop making that constipated expression, you're going to burst a blood vessel."

"!" Naruto ignored him. He instead focused intently on his right palm, hoping to see crackling energy come into being.

Sakura finally lost it and grabbed the closest thing she could reach and threw it at the blonde's head. Unfortunately, as Sakura happened to be perched on top of a rather big boulder, with Kakashi leaning against it, what she had grabbed was Kakashi's hair.

When Naruto and Kakashi collided, Naruto shot a glare at Sakura. "Do you mind? I'm on my way to mastering the greatest jutsu that our teacher has to teach, the one and only, the original work of Hatake Kakashi, CHIDORI!"

"Yeah, the only problem is that you can't even produce lightning chakra, let alone master a high level technique like the chidori," Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Could you please stop wasting our time? We've only got a two weeks left you know."

Kakashi stood up and brushed off his clothes. He was used to their abuse by now. Right after he had taught Sasuke the chidori, said boy had wanted to find out if the bits of electrical charge coming off the sides could shock someone, so had "accidentally" zapped Kakashi out cold for a few hours.

Actually, Kakashi could have avoided that one, being an elite Jounin and all (cough cough), but then Naruto had to come around and grab onto his arms and legs begging to learn the technique too, even though he'd told all of them you need lightning element to ever learn the jutsu. Because Naruto was clinging onto him, Naruto was zapped as well, but the freakin kid had the Kyuubi, so recovered in an hour.

But then Sakura came around with the lunchboxes she picked up, saw Naruto unconscious on the ground, immediately thought Kakashi beat Naruto up, and so beat up poor Kakashi's limp and unconscious body until it was black and blue. When Kakashi woke up, he had wondered why he was feeling so sore.

But as a teacher, he couldn't just let them go off insubordinate. Hem hem. "Now, my dear students, the chidori isn't the only technique I can teach you. I have mastered over a thousand tech-"

Naruto screamed as evil Sasuke zapped him again, just with a weaker charge. "I hate you Sasuke!"

Sasuke grinned then looked over at Sakura. She shook a fist at him. "If you come closer-" She started screaming as Sasuke ran after her with his arms outstretched, lightning energy surrounding his skin.

Naruto turned back to his teacher. "So I really can't learn this thing?"

Kakashi flipped open his book. "Nope."

Naruto flapped his arms. "But my awesome melodramatic superhero Hokage senses are telling me this is a must-know tech!"

"Too bad."

Naruto cursed as Kakashi rummaged around his pockets and brought out a bookmark. "Now, Naruto, don't be so upset. You're already extremely advanced. I don't think you need any real training to get through the final exam."

"That's weak sauce!" Naruto exclaimed. "I don't just want to show how good I am, I want to show how supremely and ginormously and amazingly and fantastically outclassed everyone else is compared to me! That's how you make good impressions, you know. It's to let everyone know that I expect to be on the top ten list of potential future Hokages after this exam."

Kakashi clapped his book shut and rubbed his chin. "Well, I think all you need to do is polish a few areas you're pretty weak in, like what Sakura did. Sasuke only learned the chidori because he was a bit lacking in his Jutsu arsenal. You, on the other hand, make up your lack of Jutsu with a whole bunch of different seals and whatnot."

"So what do you think I need more help in? Come on, I'm waiting. It's been almost two weeks and I only have another two weeks left!" Naruto complained.

"Well, if you listened to me first instead of trying to learn the chidori for the last couple of days, we'd already be somewhere," Kakashi muttered under his breath. "Okay, so you definitely need more speed and chakra control."

"Ehhh? Chakra control?" Naruto whined. "But I did so much of that to graduate from the academy! I don't wanna do it again. I've gotten tons better at it too, you know."

"Even so, you can do even better. Compared to Sakura and Sasuke, you're like a rock trying to float on water the way a leaf does."

"Then what about my speed?" Naruto pouted. "I have pretty good speed."

Kakashi coughed and put his hand on his hip, wagging his other finger at the blonde boy. He said in a deep, grave voice, "Naruto, complaining won't get you anywhere."

Naruto looked grouchy but nodded.

Kakashi looked up into the sky. "Speed is an aspect of ninja life you should always try to improve on. One ninja I respect the most in the world had incredible speed. He was so fast. Even very strong ninja fell before him, because he took them out before they could even do anything. If you want to be as powerful like that ninja someday, you should definitely focus on speed."

Totally inspired, Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "Okay, okay! Tell me what to do, sensei!"

Happy his student was listening, Kakashi happily ruffled Naruto's hair. "Great! First things first, go fetch your teammates, will you? I think Sakura's about to kill Sasuke." Far away in the distance was a scream and a grinding sound.

Naruto ran after his friends and tackled them from afar. Kakashi watched as more screams ensued and sighed a deep breath.

...

...

"Alright everyone, welcome to speed training." Kakashi clapped his hands.

"What are we going to do, Kakashi sensei?" Sakura asked.
"I am going to introduce you to a dear friend of mine." Kakashi's eye shaped up to an upside down U.

...

...

"My youthful friend! What advice do you seek from me today?" Gai struck a pose as his very dear youthful friend Kakashi walked up to him. "And who are those lovely youthful young ones you have with you?"

"These are some academy students who want some help in training. I thought I'd point them in your direction, because you are an amazing teacher, Gai," Kakashi gave his long time rival a wink and a thumbs up. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura, who had taken off their headbands and put on a simple henge as per request of Kakashi, mentally slapped themselves in annoyance.

Who'd fall for a stupid lie like that? It's so obvious we're not academy students! Sasuke thought irritatedly.

Much to his, as well as his teammates' surprise, Gai burst into joyful tears and began to weep. "Oh, Kakashi, what a youthful day! I can't believe you see so much youthfulness in me that you'd youthfully ask my youthful self in this most youthful favor! To so youthfully entrust these youthful youths in my youthful care! Though I have youthful students of my own, I will most definitely take in these youthful little ones and heed your most youthful request! Come here, sweet little babies! Run into my youthful bosom and weep for our beginning of a greatly youthful adventure together!"

Though Gai was kneeling with his arms outstretched, none of the "sweet little babies" ran into his "youthful bosom".

"Ah, one more thing, Gai," Kakashi paused in midst of congratulating himself for his flawlessly executed plan. "I think it would be best if your own students didn't know of our little babies. It would make them most unyouthfully jealous that they'd have to share their youthful teacher!"

"Ah, yes, my sweet students do love me much," Gai nodded sagely, then smiled a blinding smile with a thumbs up. "Alright, all of you! Put these on! And follow me into the sunset! Hahahahahahahaha!" Gai ran off, dropping articles of clothes and weights onto the grass.

Team 7 looked at the clothing in horror. It was the stuff Gai and Lee wore! No way in hell were they wearing that. The Genin looked to Kakashi pleadingly. Kakashi thought about torturing them a bit by forcing them to wear the spandex, but unfortunately, he didn't have the heart. He loathed the green cloth as much as anyone.

With their teacher's consent, Naruto Sasuke and Sakura ignored the spandex and pulled on the weights. Staggering, they ran after Gai's faraway form. Kakashi giggled as his students ran by. They were in for hell.

The three friends initially thought they got off wearing the spandex, but alas, they were wrong. The next seven days were more accurately described as 604600 seconds of sweaty, humiliating, decrepit, downright ego-binding, mind raping hell the team had ever experienced.

"Y-O-U-T-H! Y-O-U-T-H! What's that?" Hollered Gai.

"YOUTH! YOUTH! IT'S YOUTH!" The formerly "badass" group of Genin trodded after the enthusiastic man in green spandex, tired and forlorn, their spirits crushed, utterly deprived of happy thoughts. Having been forced into the spandex after Kakashi left (Gai insisted on 'proper' instruction of his students and they must have 'proper' training attire), they had lost all sense of personal connection, and was utterly alienated, unable to call their bodies their own. All they could do was trot after Gai and shout back, brainwashed by his youthfulness.

"That's right! YOUTH! What is it?" Gai screamed in happiness. His new students were picking up so quickly!

"Y-O-U-T-H! That's what youth is!"

"Oh yeah! Y-O-U-T-H! Scream your youthfulness, my youthfuller than most youthful students!"

"Yeah! Yeah! Y-O-U-T-H is the way to go! YOUTH! YOUTH!"

"Follow me into the sunset!" Screamed Gai.

"Yes! Yes! For YOUTH!"

"YOUTH!"

"YOUTH!"

"YOUTH!"

"!"

"!"

...

...

"So how was it?" Kakashi eye smiled at his exhausted kids. "Gai's a great teacher, isn't he?"

After a week under Gai's tutelage, Team Badass had almost turned into Team Youth. If they had stayed another minute longer under the crazy Jounin, they'd have surely turned into miniature Lee's.

Naruto sank onto the ground, desolate. "I can't believe our foundations were shaken so easily. All our promises, our oaths to become cool and great and awesome...all those were broken within two hours of the man called Gai!"

"He took our world and turned it upside down. Shook our beliefs! I can't believe we were so weak willed!" Sasuke clutched his head in despair.
"We were obviously overestimating ourselves. If our resolve is crumbled just because of one funky Jounin, how are we to make legends of ourselves? I am ashamed!" Sakura cried in self-hate.

Naruto stood up, his eyes steely and determined. "I swear on this wretched piece of spandex covering my body, by the sweat that soaks my back, by the very name of Y-O-U-T-H, I will never, ever, be shaken again!"

"We will train even harder!" cried Sakura.

"Now that we've realized just how difficult it is to become truly legendary, we will fight! Fight! FIGHT!" Sasuke punched his arms into the air. "We can't let ourselves be defeated if we run into another formidable man like Gai! We must train!"

"Train!"

Kakashi wiped a stray tear away. Oh, his students learned their lesson! "My students, if you truly want to become legendary, you must heed the words of your legendary teacher, Hatake Kaka-"

"Ok, let's go train!" Sakura yelled and the kids ran off.

Maybe not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Far away in the distance, Hayate lay bleeding and dying. Baki smirked in satisfaction before he jumped away.

Feeling the last of his breath slipping out from him, Hayate croaked a few words into the night. "H-hokage.-sama..Orochimaru..S-suna...Yugao.

"..Y-yugao..."

In another part of the village, Gaara of the desert discreetly slipped down from his rooftop atop the Kikyo Tower and made his way to his temporary apartments, his sand wiping away the remains of Dosu as it trailed past.