Meooooowwwww!

...

"I hate this. This is boring. Why is it that such awesome people like us have to go cat catching?" Naruto complained. "Are you taking revenge on us or something, Kakashi-sensei?"

"Idiot!" Sakura punched him. "Don't give him any ideas. And this is for asking if I had pills!"

Sasuke coolly ignored his teammates and turned to Kakashi, who now had shorter hair. He had been forced to cut it after it was burned during the bell test. "I agree. This is ridiculous. You saw our abilities in the bell test. Give us something we deserve."

Kakashi snorted. "You really think you're ready? This is all to build character and teamwork. All Genin go through it."

"You suck," Naruto pointed his tongue out at him in childish anger.

"I know."

"I hate you. I'm going to go paintball shopping," Sakura complained and dropped onto the grass, refusing to move. "And Sasuke and Naruto are going to join me. All for you."

"...You know what? On second thought, you can have your stupid c-rank mission."

"Oh really?" They plopped down onto the grass and yawned. "Yeah right."

Kakashi was slightly hurt. "You really don't believe me in anything I say, do you?"

"After the many times you told us you'd be on time and was late, and the countless amount of times you said 'the next mission is going to be interesting,' you don't really expect us to believe you?" Sakura pointed out.

"Yeah! And the one time you fed me seafood even when I clearly told you on the first day that I can't stand oysters!" Naruto looked ready to cry/puke at the memory. "You did that on purpose."

Kakashi put his hands up in a placating gesture. "Hey, but in return, you guys totally bombed my house full of paintballs. Don't you think we're even? By the way, I still haven't figured out how you managed to trick me. I am a Jounin after all."

"Can't even figure that out?" Sasuke turned his nose up. "And just what do you expect to teach us? You already imparted your knowledge on proper ninja etiquette."

"Sasuke don't be like that. Etiquette is important! I want to be a great teacher for all of you, and believe me, proper manners is the way to go." Actually what he had been hoping for was that they'd get the "no attacking fellow ninja without clearance" rule and stick with it, but somehow that particular one seemed to have slipped their mind.

"Yeah right," Sakura and Naruto stuck out their tongue.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Let's just hurry up and go get that next mission. It better be good. Or else."

Kakashi flinched. He had high hopes for his team, but to be so ignored! He felt tears coming to his eyes. Sigh, his students...oh how he loved them all. But the things they made him do...

...

"Kakashi, are you listening?" Sarutobi puffed on his pipe. Two weeks and already the little rascals sucked the life out of the Jounin. And here he thought Kakashi might be the only one with enough guts and wit to keep them in line.

Kakashi snapped out of his daydream. His head had been high up in the clouds, with his cute students running around... "Hmm? Did you say something?"

Sarutobi closed his eyes and counted. From by his side Iruka slapped his forehead. The devilish trio was standing by, looking innocent and impossible of crime. The aged leader spoke up again. "I said, your team photo is not suitable. Take another one."

What was that about the team photo? "What's wrong with it?"

"Everything." Sarutobi wryly pulled out a sheet. "Face paint and obscene hand gestures are not acceptable. And..what is up with the background?"

Oh. He remembered now. It was one of the crazy things his team had hooped him into doing. They had something for paint, he was sure. It was like their life depended on paint. He saw Sasuke nearly burst into tears after finding his paintball supply nearly empty on a mission two days ago.

Anyways, he vaguely remembered the little kiddos snickering as they painted something all over themselves..and him..but why was his memory so fuzzy? "I don't exactly remember, could you show me the picture?"

Sarutobi flicked it over. Catching it easily with two fingers, he flipped the photo the right way up and brought it to his eyes.

Oh. Oh.

They were standing in front of a red and white paint splattered wall, with the words, "Team Badass" scrawled onto the wall in fancy, gangster letters. Naruto Sasuke and Sakura all had red and white pattered faces and were making hiphop signs over their heads. He, Kakashi, had a leather jacket with the spiderman hand pose in front of his face. "I think it's pretty cool." In Gai's words, it was hip. The kids definitely had artistic talent. Or that's what he had to think, if he wanted to live.

"Nonsense!" Iruka snapped. "A team photo is extremely important. It goes on the records! Retake it at once!"

Kakashi flashed a smile. "Don't get your panties in a twist, Iruka-sensei. I'm sure the kids were having just some harmless fun. Besides, it's time for us to take a step away from tradition."

"But this is too much of an depart from tradition!" Iruka insisted. "Hokage-sama, I say-"

"Now now Iruka, let's hear what the young ninja have to say." Sarutobi quickly said, not wanting to incite their wrath. "I do think this is rather a lovely picture, but there is protocol."

"Well, it has come to our attention that the name, Team 7, is simply too boring for awesome ninja like us," Naruto serenely gazed out the window. "We were desperate. Our village is so lacking on the creativity side that we are being forced to live by the numbers." He sighed, placing a hand on his heart. "To be honest, it was a choice between Team Orphans, Team Freaks, or Team Little Devils. What would you have chosen?"

Team Little Devils, Sarutobi thought. "Why such grotesque names? Who came up with the orphan one?"

"Sasuke," Sakura explained. "He said since all four of us are technically, orphans, we should be called as such."

"As you can see Hokage-sama," Naruto stepped up and fixed the leader with a professional tone, "wouldn't you say we're actually doing some good to the world by blocking out negativity?"

Kakashi was nodding his head. "Yes, we all thought 'Team Orphans' was a terribly negative name. Which is why I recommended 'Team Little Devils.'"

Sakura cut in, examining her fingernails. "But then, everyone knows just how old fashioned Kakashi is, and 'Devils' totally doesn't cut out on the 'oomph' part, so we all knocked it down." Kakashi rolled his sharingan eye under his headband, where the kids can't see.

"Your name wasn't that great either," Sasuke pointed out. "I mean, 'Team Freaks?' I have no idea where you got that from. We're completely normal."

"I know," Sakura nodded. "I was paraphrasing. Team Kakashi: Team Freak. There's no need to add the 's' at the end." She shot Kakashi a pointed look.

"Oh so that was it? I never understood the mechanics behind that name, but I understand now. It makes total sense," Naruto stroked his imaginary beard. "Don't you think so too? Kakashi-sensei?"

"Freak-sensei!" Sakura laughed and pointed at Kakashi's hair. "Aren't you happy we gave you an opportunity for a new hairstyle? You look so much better!"

"His old hair was a vertical version of my hair, just that his hair is on top of his head when mine is on the back," Sasuke critically eyed their teacher's silver hair. "I think mine still looks better."

Kakashi raised a hand and rubbed his forehead in stress. "I got it, I got it. You guys can stop with the sadistic teasing. I'll get you the stupid c-rank, for God's sake."

None of them looked convinced, so Kakashi turned to Sarutobi and Iruka, pleading silently with his large, teary eyes.

Sarutobi coughed. "In that case, I have the perfect one for you. It's a escort mission to wave..."

"So Kakashi, you really think you'll be able to defeat me?" Zabuza, demon of the mist chuckled darkly. "That boy, Haku, is special. Your group of Genin won't be able to handle him."

"Zabuza," Kakashi growled. He felt sweat drip down his clothes. Tensed, his entire form was crouched, ready to spring to action. He could feel adrenaline pumping in his ears. His breath, calm and controlled hitched just slightly as Zabuza made a speedy leap and swung his giant sword towards him.

Kakashi grunted as he blocked the sword with a small kunai. Leaping away, he made swift hand seals for a water dragon technique, just as Zabuza did. Copying his jutsu, the two dragons canceled each other out.

"Just where the hell are your brats anyway?" Zabuza sneered. "Haku's getting lonely, you know."

Kakashi mentally cursed. Just where were they? Tazuna and the rest of the workers were in mortal peril, covered by ice and in hostage by the masked boy. "You don't need to worry. I'm perfectly capable of handling you all by myself."

Zabuza sneered. "We'll see about that, Sharingan Kakashi!" He lunged, the battle starting anew.

His red eye spinning wildly, Kakashi fluidly dodged all the attacks with easy grace. "You'll have to do better than that, Zabuza, Demon of the Mist! I will now show you my one and only original technique..!"

Zabuza's eyes widened. An original technique?

"Lightning Bl-" Kakashi shouted just as a smoke bomb erupted on the surface of the half finished bridge. "What the-"

Three small figures could be seen in the slowly dispersing smoke. "Sorry for the wait," a suave voice intoned. The smoke cleared to reveal three grinning faces. "Team Badass is here to save the day!" Naruto cheered. "I am Uzumaki Naruto, great awesome sensor and ninja..!"

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke, best friend to Uzumaki Naruto..!"

"And I'M Haruno Sakura, the bestest, awesomest, most freakishly amazing female ninja of all time!" Sakura ended it with a flair.

"..." Kakashi let his lightning fizzle and die out. A pin dropped somewhere. Then he finally came to his senses. He yelled, "Where have you three been? Tazuna-san has been in danger ever since you three just disappeared at the cottage. You were supposed to come with me to protect the bridge!"

"Life lesson #4," Naruto yelled out triumphantly. "The Hero ALWAYS comes late! Yesah!"

"Don't worry, we've been around all along," Sasuke waved his hand. "The workers are already free."

To Kakashi and Haku's surprise, the workers bound with ice suddenly turned to straw.

"So you have managed to outmaneuver me," Haku declared. "Do not worry. A worthless tool will be abandoned, and I will not be that worthless tool."

"How are you a tool? You're talking and thinking." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you still believe that 'shinobi is a weapon' crap. Nowadays the modern saying is 'shinobi is a profession.' Unless you're so brainwashed you can't even think differently?"

Naruto gasped. "In that case, we must punish the evildoer who has forced you to be like this! Is that evildoer you, Freaky No Eyebrows? FNE for short?"

"My name is Zabuza!" FNE snarled. "We established that on our first meeting, you brats!"

Sasuke was confused. "First meeting? When did we meet him again?"

"In the woods," Sakura explained. "It was when Kakashi got beat up with his water jutsu, and then we had to jump and save him, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I remember."

"I don't think you guys are remembering the part where I ended up saving all three of you from the river after Zabuza came after you with the very shuriken you threw?" Kakashi impatiently tapped his shoe. "Or the part where I carried Naruto home because he got seasick? Aren't you conveniently forgetting those parts?"

They all ignored him. Zabuza took this moment to loudly impose his presence. "In that case, you, the last Uchiha." He pointed a finger at Sasuke.

Bored looking, Sasuke grunted, yawning. "What?"

"My dear protege has been longing to challenge you!" Zabuza thrust his arm in Haku's direction. "Meet, Haku, my student."

"Haku? Where have I heard that name before..." Naruto tapped his chin. "Oh yeah! You were the pretty girl in the forest! Wait, you're a guy. Never mind."

Haku sweatdropped. "I am the same person, Naruto-kun. Need I remind you that I am, and always have been, a boy?"

"Wait, so that was a Henge?" Confused, Naruto cocked his head. "You tricked me!"

"...Never mind."

"Uh, guys, I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're supposed to be fighting to the death?" Kakashi scratched his head.

"Don't worry, we're getting to that part," Naruto assured him. "It's just that in any important battle, there is always serious, heartfelt conversation involved."

"Either way, you're going down!" Sakura cracked her knuckles. "I'll take the girl."

"Once again, I am a boy."

Naruto nodded. "You and Sasuke take Haku. Don't hurt her too badly." Haku refused to answer this time. "Let's go everyone! Team Badass saves the day!"

"Not on my watch you won't!" Zabuza dashed forward, swinging his huge sword at the small blonde.

"Don't you dare lay a finger on my students!" Kakashi proclaimed before swinging forward with his own kunai.

"Kakashi sensei!" Naruto called. "Remember the bell test?"

"Huh?" Then he remembered. Jumping away as quickly as possible, Kakashi leaped out away from Zabuza. "Don't you dare blow up the entire bridge-"

Boom. Crash. "NOOOOOO!" Tazuna wailed. There was a giant, gaping hole in the middle of the bridge, separating the structure into two parts. It would take forever to repair.

"Hehe," Naruto smiled innocently and rubbed his neck. "You should've said that sooner."

From afar, Haku fell on his knees as his teacher was seen no more. Believing Zabuza was blown to smithereens, he fell onto his hands and cried out, "Kill me now! My life serves no purpose without Zabuza-sama!"

"Wow, you're more melodramatic than Naruto," Sasuke commented. "But don't worry, we won't actually kill you. We're still little innocent souls, and I rather abhor the thought of killing, hard as it is to admit."

"No! Kill me now!" Haku wailed. "I don't want to live anymore!"

"You won't, soon enough," A sniveling voice carried from afar.

"Gato!" Kakashi growled. "You scum. Coming all the way here for revenge?"

"Yes, wouldn't you? After my home was so vandalized with paint, I felt the need to make an appearance." Gato tapped his cane onto the broken bridge.

Kakashi shot the kids a glare. Gato's unnecessary intervention had all been caused by their childishness? He would see to that as soon as they were home.

"You're partly the reason why Zabuza-sama is dead," Haku whipped out a senbon and prepared to strike. "I'll kill you!"

"Wait, Haku!" A voice stopped Haku in his tracks. A trembling hand rose from the side of the bridge and hauled the rest of him up. "It's me, Zabuza! I'm not dead!"

"Zabuza-sama!" Haku dropped his senbon and ran to his teacher's side. "I'm so glad! What happened to you?"

"Somehow the bomb just threw me into the ocean," Zabuza wiped water from his eyes. "Dunno why it had such a big impact on the bridge and not on me."

Kakashi shot Naruto a look. Naruto sheepishly laughed. "Oops. I suppose I used the wrong kind of tags..."

"Well enough is enough. We're through here, Haku. Let's go." Silently mourning the loss of his sword, which was somewhere deep underwater, Zabuza made to move away.

"Wait, don't you dare go anywhere. What about all the money I paid you to kill off that annoying bridgebuilder?" Gato screamed childishly.

"How annoying. Lend me a kunai, boy?" Zabuza asked Naruto. He smirked. "Nice tags by the way. Homemade?"

"Yeah, thanks!" Naruto threw him a kunai. "You know, you mean a lot to Haku. Don't be so wasteful with your life."

"I won't," Zabuza promised. "Believe it or not, I actually care for this little runt." He affectionately rubbed Haku's head.

Haku's eyes grew wide. "Zabuza-sama?"

"Let's go Haku. No time to waste."

"H-hai!"

And the rest is history.