WARNING: EMOTIONAL CONTENT.
Includes anti-sem*tism, islam*phobia, pressure.

Do you ever wish you could see into the mind of a person?

See what's really going on behind their facade?

I do sometimes.

I don't think you can really know a person until you've lived their life.
Thought their thoughts.
Seen through their eyes.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

5:00 AM appeared on the alarm clock screen.
A hand slapped down on it, silencing its screams.
After a series of incomprehensible mutterings, a head popped out from under the duvet.

Rowan grimaced when he felt the dry bits of drool in the corner of his mouth crack the more he moved his lips.
He swiped his hand across his mouth to get rid of it.

Rowan's father was usually already up at this time.
He worked as a Rabbi in the local Synagogue.
His schedule was almost always busy, but his entire week was fully booked up with three different weddings that he needed to officiate.
Rowan was used to waking up early, thanks to copying his father's routine as a child.

The events of the day before had taken a toll on him though.
Who knew hiding from riled up teenagers was so tiring?

A knock on the door made Rowan sit up. After announcing he was decent, a tall woman entered the room.
She wasn't exceptionally tall, but wasn't exactly short for her age's average size either.
She was thin, and like Rowan, looked like she could snap in half if the wind was particularly strong.
Her eyes were an electric blue, standing out against her curly dark brown hair.

"Ah, good, you're up", she said.
"Did you recite the modeh ani?"

The modeh ani is a prayer that Jewish people say every day when they wake up. He didn't pray as often as he was supposed to, but he had gotten used to reciting the modeh ani, since it was something his parents taught him to do from a very young age.
Rowan wasn't a very devout Jew.
He wasn't too bothered about the rules behind Judaism, but found the core principles important.
His father wasn't exactly thrilled with Rowan's decision, but he knew that Rowan was a good kid, and that he'd turn to God whenever he needed Him.

Rowan shook his head.
"Not yet, Mum."

His mother nodded.
"Ok, I'll leave you to it.
Just wanted to say good morning, sweetheart."

Rowan's mother was well-liked in the community.
Rowan's parents had moved to Moorside during a time of deep religious tension between Jewish people and the new Muslim residents that had moved in.
His parents were subjected to a lot of anti-sem*tism.
The tensions died down, but new residents brought about a whole new wave of islam*phobia—one the Sterlings' were not going to accept.

Rowan's mother looked out for the new Muslim families, and in return, they shared their food and culture with the Sterlings. What followed was a strengthened community that looked out for each other, regardless of their differences.

Rowan always felt fortunate to live in a more tolerant neighbourhood.
Out of the group, Rowan's neighbourhood was definitely the most accepting of diversity.

After reciting modeh ani, Rowan picked up his phone from his bedside desk.
He scrolled through it, clicking on the 'HISTORY HÒES'
group chat.

HISTORY HÒES

ATLAS
My brain feels so big I literally want to take on the whole world

SPENCER
Dude

SPENCER
I'm so tired

ELOISE
Same

ELLIOTT
Hey you're the one that started the party, staying late to tidy was the least you could do

ELOISE
Elliott I left your house at 1 in the morning!

ELOISE
Kerry was p*ssed

ZEE
If you idiots don't stop typing I'm not responsible for what I'm about to do

ATLAS
Good morning, Zee!

ZEE
Die

ATLAS
Aw, I hope you have a wonderful day too!

Before Rowan could reply, a separate message popped up.

IRENE
Hey Rowan!

IRENE
I have no energy for the group chat

IRENE
But wanted to say good morning!

Rowan smiled at Irene's message. He tried to type out a response as quickly as possible.

ROWAN
Good morning–

Wait, should he put a heart?
Would a heart be weird?
A heart just means love.
Wait, she won't think it means he loves her will she?
But, how else can you interpret a heart? How did he want her to interpret it?
Friends put hearts, right?
Eloise sends hearts all the time!
Wait, no, that's an 'x' for a kiss.
Hold on.
Should he put an 'x'?

His message tone startled him, and he quickly looked down at his phone again.
A gif popped up on his screen.

IRENE



He chuckled softly.

ROWAN
I think I have some energy drinks somewhere.
Want me to bring you one?

IRENE
Oh my gosh, yes please!

IRENE
It may rot brains or whatever but GIMME

A video call notification appeared.
In the centre of his screen, there was a picture of a person.
She had mushroom brown hair, a few sections of which were fashioned into mini fishtail braids.
She had a small, silver septum piercing.
The name GEORGIA was underneath their picture.
Rowan quickly answered the phone.

"Georgia, what's wrong?
Has something happened?", he questioned, a sense of urgency twisting in between his words.

"Woah, calm down, Row-Boat!
I'm ok, I promise."

"It's five in the morning!"

"Yeah, I'm going on my morning run before my nine o'clock lecture."

"Since when did you run?"

"There's a first time for everything", said Georgia.
"Plus, there's this really cute guy that works at a café near campus."

"Ah, I knew there had to be a reason", he teased.
"So, how is uni?"

"Uh, it's good.
The nightlife here is amazing.
You remember the friends I told you about? Jay and Cassie?
Well, they showed me this cool new nightclub."

"That sounds... cool."

Georgia chuckled.
"You don't really care about all that, do you? You want to know how the lectures are going?"

Rowan nodded.

"Uh... well, the lectures sure are lecturing."

"What does that mean?"

Georgia sighed.
"Well, they're hard, Rowan.
Really hard.
I thought I'd be used to it by now, but the pressure just increases.
And balancing learning with fun has beeneven harder than I thought."

Rowan frowned.
Georgia was his older sister, and she was currently at university.
She moved into halls of residence provided by the university, and the most Rowan saw of her was through video calls.
Rowan's parents definitely wanted to wrap her up in bubble wrap and stop her from leaving, but they had one simple rule:

Never stop their children from achieving greatness.

They were pushed to be the best at what they do, and to never take their opportunities for granted.
They were proud of every single achievement—their youngest child's first spelling bee trophy, their
nine year old's 100% attendance certificate.
They had all of Rowan's awards and Grade A pieces of work framed and placed on their mantelpiece.

Georgia absolutely adored Rowan.
When she told her parents that she identified as she/they, a lot of confusion took place.
They eventually accepted it, but it was Rowan who convinced them.
All he asked was whether Georgia was still the same person.
The same person who bought him books from the library.
The same person who, with those books, helped him make a fort stronger than any other.

Georgia loved all their siblings, but Rowan had a special place in her heart.

"Are Holly and Freya ok?", she asked, referring to their sisters.

"Yep, they're good!
Still asleep, obviously.
They miss you though.
I don't think my company is entertaining enough anymore."

"Don't be stupid—I'd trade in nights of clubbing for hanging out with you any day."

"Rowan!
Your father's leaving, come say goodbye!"

"Oh cr*p, is that Mum?
Don't tell her I'm going for a run!"

"Wait, why not?"

"Cos I'm not running for fitness, I'm trying to run off a hangover!" revealed Georgia.

Rowan's eyes widened.
"Oh.
Now the truth comes out, huh?"

"Rowan, don't-"

"My lips are sealed, Gigi."

"You're the best, Row.
I'll let you go now, bye!
Love you!"

¤¤¤

Rowan was sat in his seat for history.
He already had all of his things ready on his desk.
A pink, orange and yellow highlighter.
An A4 notebook full of four hundred and fifty lined pieces of paper.
A history textbook—opened only twice this year since Mr. Patel took over.

He liked to watch the students in the halls. Some ran to lessons, half a chocolate bar in their mouths, whilst some strolled like they were at the park.

Atlas walked briskly, but he often took the time to pause and greet fellow students. Elliott walked with his head held high, in an almost regal manner.
He only ever stopped when he wanted to talk to someone.
Most days he ignored people calling after him.

Spencer's walk changed often.
Some days he'd walk quickly and look around as if he had never stepped foot in the school before.
Other days he liked to take his time, going on his phone.
Zee walked like she couldn't care less about what was going on around her, which was quite ironic for someone who knew so many secrets about her fellow students.

Eloise was either rushing to sort out an argument between some students, or help out a teacher.
On the days where she was determined to be on time, she power walked with such a strong sense of purpose.
Then she'd forget she left her homework at home.
But she'd power walk back with even more purpose!

Irene was an enigma though.
Some days she'd be so hyper-focused on her surroundings, but others days she'd walk past the classroom completely, her head in the clouds.

People watching was something Rowan liked to do.
He often thought that it was probably one thing-maybe the only thing, that he had in common with Zee.

With Atlas, they're both friendly and charasmatic.
Spencer was much smarter than he gave himself credit for, and Rowan saw them as intellectual equals in some subjects.

Elliott was really good with people too.
He wasn't the easiest to read, but that made him interesting.
Eloise, like Atlas, was very friendly, and she had the kind of personality that people just gravitated towards.
Rowan liked to think of himself like that, although he thought Eloise was a lot cooler.

Irene, well, she was Rowan's perfect match. Both were very smart.
Both had the same kind of humour. Rowan was better in social situations, but he often felt drained too, much like Irene.
They both liked each other—ok, that's unknown.
Wishful thinking on Rowan's part, bless him.

So, what does this social chameleon-slash-intellectual being think of the whole award mission?
Surely he's grabbing it by the-

"Sir, when are we going to learn history?", asked Rowan.

"When you guys start taking this award mission seriously", replied Mr. Patel.

"We are though", said Rowan.
"We're brainstorming ideas for the football rally!
You're the one who hasn't even asked Mr. McConaugh if you can take ov–"

"Out of my classroom!", snapped Mr. Patel, pointing an arm out towards the door.
"I'm not going to accept backchat from those who don't want to put in the work."

"Are you serious, Sir?", questioned Irene. "I'm sorry for speaking out of turn, but Rowan's the most hardworking person here."

Rowan's eyes widened.
He looked over at Irene, who looked just as shocked at what she did.

"Oh, so you want to give me lip, too?
Get out as well."

Rowan shook his head.
"No, it's my fault.
I'll leave–"

"Both of you out, now!"

At a loss for what to do, Rowan looked at Irene.
She shrugged, as if resigning to her fate.
She headed towards the door, Rowan following after her.

"Does anyone else want to talk back, or are we going to behave like our age?", asked Mr. Patel.

Elliott stood up.
"With respect, you're not acting like your age."

Before Mr. Patel could respond, he started walking to the door.
Eloise hesitated.
She wanted to go after them, but she was already on thin ice with her foster parents. She couldn't afford to get into any more trouble.

"Good", said Mr. Patel.

Outside the classroom, Irene was leaning against a wall, her arms crossed.
She looked up at the ceiling.
Rowan wanted to thank her.
To comfort her.
But he was still trying to process the rush of emotions that were coarsing through him.

Elliott nudged Rowan.
"Getting sent out isn't that bad."

"Really?
Feels awful.
I mean, what even happens now?"

"Nothing", said Elliott.
"This is your first time, right?
They won't call home or anything."

Irene didn't say anything, but Rowan noticed her shoulders relax a little.

"Don't worry about Patel.
I'm, like, ninety five percent sure someone p*ssed in his coffee this morning or something", said Elliott.

Rowan chuckled.

"I get it.
It's super frustrating how our futures are going to be determined by what we get in our exams, but he's chasing some dream that doesn't benefit us in any way."

"Exactly!
All I'm asking is that he actually teaches us what we need to learn", said Rowan.

"Well, you're hella smart, Rowan.
Don't let it go to waste."

"What do you mean?", asked Rowan.

"Put all your insane brainpower into this award mission thing.
Mr. Patel will see he was wrong to treat you the way he did, and you'd be helping achieve something."

Rowan hadn't really thought about it like that.
It would be satisfying to see all their hardwork actually pay off.
Rowan wasn't really sure why Elliott was helping him, but he was grateful all the same.

Elliott looked over at Irene.
"Hey, you're cool for what you did in there, Weber."

Irene placed a hand on her chest and feigned excitement.
"Oh, my day has been made.
Thank you, Oh Great One", she replied, sarcastically.

Oh, don't mind them.
That's just their banter.
I think.
Look, it's been happening for years, I've learned to deal with it at this point.

Rowan grinned, feeling a newfound sense of purpose.
He turned to look at Irene, just as she looked at him.
His heart stopped for a brief moment—did she hate him for getting her in trouble?

Irene smiled softly at him.
"You owe me two energy drinks now."

__ __ __

Hi.

These chapters that focus on one specific character are actually so fun to write! We got to see more of Rowan's home life, and why he feels so much pressure to succeed. Rowan's storylines are really nice to write, because I relate to them in some ways. I've really enjoyed writing this chapter—the flow of it all came so naturally, which doesn't happen often.

Fun fact: Georgia actually goes to Moorside University—the uni where the characters in my applyfic 'ROOMIES' go to. Jay and Cassie are characters from that story. The 'cute café worker' is actually a character called Bolin, who someone from this applyfic submitted. You don't need to have read that story to understand this one though, I just thought it'd be a cool idea to connect my applyfics, as a few are set in Moorside.

Also, to my understanding, Georgia's pronouns are meant to be used interchangeably. I hope I did this correctly, and if I didn't I'm so sorry. Please let me know and I will change it promptly.

Did you like the sections where we got to see how Rowan sees the other characters? I found that really interesting to think about.

Irene sticking up for Rowan, despite knowing it might backfire, shows how much his friendship means to her. What are your thoughts on this?

Mr. Patel is getting stricter and stricter. What's all that about?

Broader question(s)—do you have a favourite friendship or potential romantic pairing? Or is there one that'd be quite unexpected? I know I've asked similar questions before but as the story evolves you might've changed your mind.

Also, what are your schedules like if you don't mind me asking? Is there a particular time when you're free? You can message me instead of commenting if you'd like.

What are your thoughts on this chapter?

starryeyedturtle

DoodleYeet

LeMystical-Puffle

ejsandfarkleslovebot

Tornado-Jockey