- c h a p t e r   f o u r t e e n -

"I want to talk to Madison," Emma sighed. "She hasn't been in on in a few days."

Molly Hooper had been hard at work, her eye pressed up against a microscope. She had been trying to forget that Emma was there behind her so that she could focus, but ignoring her never ended up going over well. Besides, it was impossible to stop listening to the constant sound of her talking and complaining.

Emma continued to ramble on about her problems for a good while. Finally, one of her statements caught Molly's attention, bringing the pathologist away from her microscope. 

"I'm going back to bloody Staffordshire," Emma whined. "I don't want to go back to Staffs, but I have to for this damn case."

"Emma," Molly responded, taking a step towards her. "Your father was murdered, I mean...that's a fair reason to go back. I think it is, at least."

"I don't!" Emma exclaimed. "If running away is to escape everything, then why would I ever want to go back? Everything back from my old life has only ended up causing problems. My dad. Leon Burrows and his damn text messages."

Molly realised very quickly that she should have just kept her mouth shut and continued to work, pretending to listen to Emma the entire time. It would have been easier for the both of them, but now it was just a burning mess of trouble.

"I have to go," Molly said, the words spilling straight out of her lips before she could think of the consequences of leaving. "I have to get some work done."

"Weren't you just working right here, right now?" Emma asked, scrunching up her nose.

"I was," Molly admitted. "But now I need to go put the samples in a incubator and make sure everything's working out." She felt terrible for doing it, but by rambling about technical and science related things she knew that she would be able to convince Emma without a hitch.

"No," Emma said. "Don't go, Molly. Please, don't go. Please stay here for me. I need you to stay."

"I'm sorry, but I really have to work. I thought you had work today too but...listen, I am really very sorry," Molly said, biting her lip.  

For a moment, the two women just stared at one another. There was no conversation, nothing. But the silence was very soon broken as Emma burst into messy tears. It was like someone had just flipped a switch within her and she had finally broken down. 

"Oh," Molly said. The sound of tears yanked directly on her heart strings, and she couldn't find the will to just walk away. It was too pitiful to ignore. There was just something within her that compelled her to stay. 

As much as Emma couldn't control her emotions, she was still using them to manipulate Molly into staying. She had to be the center of attention at the moment. She had to be listened to and focused on. She would never be able to explain it, but it stemmed from deep within her.

"What is it?" Molly said, rushing over to attempt to comfort her.

"Oh God!" Emma said, her voice forced out inbetween tears. "I'm going to die alone, aren't I? Maybe I should just take up knitting now." She let out a large sniffle and then rushed to the side to find a tissue stat. Otherwise she was going to end up spraying snot anywhere. "I'll just knit all day and night and make sweaters. I'll just make jumpers for John!" But since Emma started sobbing again, John's name came out sounding more like "Jah-ha-han."

"You're not going to end up alone," Molly said, a frown bending her lips down. Was this really what had gotten Emma into such a mess? "I might, but you're far too pretty for that."

"Says Little Miss Perfect!" Emma said, crossing her arms across her chest, sniffling deeply. "You're pretty, and smart, and...and perfect! You're going to get some perfect guy to go with you and have a perfect wedding and then have two perfect kids and live out your life."

"Emma," Molly said. She felt insulted by Emma's words. The pathologist just didn't understand how anyone could think of her that way. She constantly felt inadequate when it came to what she cared about...well, the one thing she really cared about. She could deal with everything else, but he was another story. 

"I really don't think that's going to be the case. For either of us. Not that you or I won't get married, I mean, it's just-I'm trying to say-" Molly began to stumble over her words, all of the messages she was trying to get across tangling together and tripping her up. "You know what I mean, right?"

"No," Emma pouted. "I don't understand it." The tears were beginning to clear up, but they had left obvious trails down her face. Molly could tell she was getting frustrated, which was a dangerous thing. She decided that the best idea was to divert the subject of the conversation.

"You should get a cat," Molly said. "I know, it makes you sound like you're going to be a crazy old cat lady, but they make good friends."

"Yes, a cat," Emma said weakly. "A cat to play with the leftover yarn from all of my knitting! I might as well die, it would be so much easier than carrying on."

"Don't say that," Molly sighed. "Please, don't say that. We've been through this and...you know."

"I know," Emma groaned. "I know, I know. But it's the truth."

"How could it possibly be the truth?" Molly said, shaking her head. "You've got so much left to live for...I just don't get it."

"If I had anything left to live for, why would I even be considering it?" Emma laughed. The sound was so forced it was difficult to even define it as a laugh. "I didn't have anything left to live for when I was a teenager, I don't have anything now."

"But you've lived through all those since you were a teenager," Molly insisted. "What makes this so much different?"

"London," Emma said. "My father is murdered. Sherlock Holmes hates me. Everyone at work hates me. I don't belong here, but I'm barely scraping by to stay off of the streets. I can't rustle up enough money to move away. Where would I go?"

Molly closed her eyes to give another sigh. There was just no way to fully convince Emma of anything when it came to these sorts of subjects. It was like talking to a microscope slide with bacteria on it. Sure, they were alive and all, but they weren't absorbing any of the information given to them.

It was a wonder she had been able to prevent Emma from ending her life all those years ago. Now Molly wasn't sure she could pull off such a feat all over again.

There were a few moments of quiet in the room as the women went back to their thoughts. This ended up working well for a good amount of time, but soon it backfired as always. 

"Oh no!" Emma exclaimed. Molly didn't even bother to ask what was wrong at this point in time. She had learned that Emma would go ahead and say what the matter was no matter what. "If I'm traveling to Staffs, I might not have Internet. Madison might come on and I might miss her."

"Mmhm," Molly replied, starting to shift over towards the door again.

"I miss Madison," Emma murmured again. 

"Who is Madison, anyways?" Molly asked, forcing a small smile onto her face. When she realised just how unconvincing it was, she quickly let her lips fall all the way back down. "You keep on mentioning her but...you know...I don't really know much of anything about her."

"Neither do I," Emma replied. There was a moment of silence where Molly was attempting to figure out if this was supposed to be a real answer or not. 

"What do you mean?" Molly said, blinking a few times. 

"Madison Coates," Emma said. "Her name is pretty much the only real thing I know about her." She let this out quite casually, as if it were an everyday sort of thing to only know a person's name and nothing else in general. But when this connected in her head and she realised what she just said, she repeated the words but with disbelief. "Her name is pretty much the only real thing I know about her."

"And she's supposed to be your best friend?" Molly asked, trying not to fidget. She felt very awkward in the conversation, as if she had done something wrong even though nothing of the sort had happened.

"Not my best friend," Emma said. "Well, maybe, but I don't know. I usually sort of think of her as...oh God. I don't know anything about her."

"So you're rather good friends with her," Molly said, "but you don't know anything about her?"

"Well, yes," Emma admitted. "Haven't I already said that? I think I have. I don't know. I don't remember."

"But how could you be friends with someone like that?" Molly said. "I mean, you really have to get to know who someone is before you get into a relationship with them, otherwise you realise that they're not who they said they were."

Completely ignoring the fact that Molly was working herself into another period of distress, Emma continued with what she had been saying. "I'm not getting in a relationship with her! And I don't need to know anything about her. I don't even have to know her name. I can talk to her and know what she's like."

"Well, she could be lying," Molly said. "Lying is easy to do when you've got a keyboard and a screen to hide behind."

"She's not lying," Emma insisted. "If she were lying, I wouldn't know what I'd do. There's nothing to lie about!"

"There's always something to lie about," Molly mumured. "I mean, what was it like when you first met her?"

"It was strange," Emma said. "I woke up one day and checked my email to see a message from someone I had never heard of. Madison Coates," she explained. Not bothering to check if Molly was paying attention or not, she continued her story. 

"See, she had told me that she wanted to keep talking to me. Apparently we had some great talk the night before and I had given her my email so that we could carry on. But the thing was, I didn't remember the conversation. I didn't remember anything. I emailed her back, asking if she was talking to the right person, and she asked if I was Emma Newman, and I said yes. Obviously I had said something to her."

At this point, Molly had started shuffling papers together so that she could hopefully sneak out without Emma noticing what was going on. But the sound alerted her, causing her to snap her fingers and draw her friend back.

"No, stop it! I need you to listen so that you can help me," Emma shrieked.

"I don't think there's anything I can do to help," Molly sighed.

"My goodness, Molly!" Emma exclaimed. "Why have you suddenly gotten all negative? I thought you were all cats and happiness."

"No, no, no. It's nothing," Molly insisted. "There is nothing going on."

Even Emma could see that it was blatantly obvious that Molly was telling quite a lie. Every part of her showed that she was not speaking what was truly going on within her.

"You'll need to tell me what's going on in that genius little head of yours, because unlike Sherlock I can't read your mind!" Emma said, a weak smile appearing on her face. Her signs of even slight happiness soon faded when she saw just how dead serious Molly was.

"I can't," Molly said. "I just don't want to talk about it, it's a personal thing, I don't-"

"Molly," Emma said slowly, her face dropping completely to change to a look of sympathy. "I want to know what's going on. You were my best friend and you saved me all those years ago. This is hardly paying you back, but I want to help."

"No, you don't understand," Molly mumbled. "It's just not something that makes sense to anyone, especially not me."

"So you're saying that I'm not smart enough to understand what's going on?" Emma said, her eyes widening. "Is that what you're trying to say?"

Molly squeezed her eyes shut as she realised that she had rambled too much and stumbled over a delicate topic. Again, Emma was using her pathologist friend's sensitivity to others in order to get attention. The two women were friends who ended up wearing away at one another without trying to by any means.

"That's not what I'm trying to say," Molly said, holding a hand out. "I promise, that's not what I meant."

"I'm sorry, that's just what it sounded like to me," Emma grumbled. "I was listening, and that's what I heard."

"You never listen," Molly murmured, not realising that she was saying it out loud. "You always just talk and expect everyone else to listen."

"I'm sorry?" Emma said. "I didn't really what you said there, Molly."

"Nothing," Molly replied. "I said nothing."

"No, you definitely said something," Emma urged. "And by the look on your face I'm pretty sure it had something to do with me." She paused for a moment before she continued. "Oh God, I'm turning into Sherlock. Well, not really. He would probably sock me in the face for saying something like that. My cheek still feels sort of sore since the last time he did that."

"What?" Molly said, startled. "The last time?" She shook her head to erase those thoughts and continue onwards. "I just don't understand why you can always complain about your problems and expect everyone else just to be okay with listening to it. Always."

"Molly, I really am sorry," Emma said. "I mean, I can't control myself. I just keep on talking. My mouth doesn't want to shut. I hear people telling me to shut up all the time but you never do, and you have to realise that I really appreciate that. See, I'm doing it right now."

Molly remained silent, looking away. It was all she could do to avoid breaking down. No matter what the pathologist did, she always seemed to choose whatever was wrong. Sure, she may have been some brilliant little girl in school, but this was the real world. Instead of feeling happy, she ended up being put down by people she thought were her friends. Sometimes it was like Emma was the worst out of all of them.

"Just look at me, at least!" Emma exclaimed. "I want you to look at me and talk to me. I'm sorry, Molly."

"No, you're not," Molly said, turning to face her. She was doing just what Emma wanted, but it hadn't been what the woman had been expecting. "You're not sorry, and you never had been. Anyone could see that, it's not just me. Everyone saw it, but I pushed past it. I don't think I can do that any more."

A/N I really liked writing Molly like this, I thought it helped show a different perspective to all of the problems as well as characterize both her and Emma even more. It's a very angsty sort of chapter...but you know. We're going to be getting to the murders very soon, if you're waiting for all that blood. Heh. Well, if you enjoyed, vote and comment!