It had been a few days since Ranboo showed up. He decided to stay in my apartment since he forgot to book a hotel. 

My college classes had moved online since the majority of my classes were in the building that had lost electricity. I don't know how I would take my ceramics or painting classes online but it didn't matter. 

On Friday, we were going to film a vlog with Jimmy for a charity. It was a team challenge. Many streamers from all over the world would get to run around New York and help raise money for the Trevor Project. 

Tubbo, Billzo, Foolish Gamers, Piso4, Sapnap, Ranboo, TommyInnit, Karl, Fundy, Nihachu, and Wilbur Soot all ended up being on the gaming roster. There were other surprise guests that Karl refused to tell me about. 

I had convinced Jimmy to fly Piso to New York and also convinces Piso's parents to let him come for the competition. 

I was super hyped up for the charity challenge. It was a big video for me even though I had put my streaming career on hold for school. 

Ranboo and I wanted to team up together but Jimmy was picking the teams. 

I was so psyched up that I ended up baking cookies on stream with Ranboo at four in the morning. They were simple chocolate chip cookies but we were so sleep deprived that I think I accidentally added the wrong ingredient because they were super flat. 

I streamed on my account and most people were surprised to see Ranboo in New York with me. There was actual speculation that we were dating and I quickly cleared that up by saying how I adopted Ranboo like a younger brother. 

"Chat, first of all, I think I'm starting to prefer women over most men. Second of all, he's my second best friend and we make a beautiful sibling duo. Third, we may act like an old married couple but that's because we are raising my beautiful son, Pickles, together," I said as I tried a cookie.

"These cookies taste like my aunt danielles mystery lump cookies. But I'll give it a five out of ten for effort and cooperation," Ranboo said as he chewed the flat. 

"Well chat, it's nearly six in the morning and we have to sleep because sleeping is important. I'm going to send you all off to my bestie Sapnap. He's streaming right now and this is my first time raiding someone so have fun watching him being not as awesome as me," I thanked some donos before raiding Sapnap and turning off my stream.

I checked for other people streaming. Karl, George, Nikki and Quackity. 

Heh.

I shrugged it off but that didn't stop me from remembering what we once were. 

"Kayden, I'm gonna take a shower real quick, okay?" Ranboo said.

"Yeah, I'm just going to put the cameras back in the streaming room," I said as I cleaned up the wirey mess of lens and buttons. 

I sat down in my living room  and stared at this ugly purple lamp that sat in the corner of the room unused. 

I was an ugly purple lamp sometimes. I sometimes wondered if people felt as bored with me as I felt with myself. 

All of the hype that was just in me a few minutes ago was now gone. I knew this would happen. I have been too happy lately so this depressive episode was bound to happen at some point. 

I missed the old me. Small streamer RainyDaze taking on the world one among us stream at a time. People expect me to be someone I'm not. Now I understand why Ranboo experiences streamer burnout a lot. 

I put my head in my hands and glanced next to the couch where Pickles was curled up on his bed sleeping.

What was Alex doing right now? DId it even matter? Why did I still like him? It had been months since we've even seen each other but I still find my mind wandering off to think about his face and his beautiful hair. I kept his twitter notifications on but he rarely posts anymore. It's like I had something to do with his behavior. Was he thinking about me like I was thinking about him?

God, I was such a hopeless romantic. I can hardly wait for 2022.