TW: stress, overworked (breakdown)

I didn't sleep a wink that night.

"We don't have a Violet Thorn in Gladys West Hall. We never did." But that didn't make sense - of course Hannah knew that Violet existed! They'd hang out during early mornings in the kitchen together, brewing coffee and communicating in half-hearted grunts. They had meaningful conversations, from what I could tell.
My bed was comfortable but not enough to calm my anxieties and lull me to sleep. I glanced over at Violet's side of the room and frowned at her belongings - I'd already gone through them and tried to pick out pieces that would prove her existence, but nothing valuable came up. Just a pile of dark clothing and motorcycle magazines; but at least that was proof of her existence to me.
I wasn't going crazy, but it did seem as if Hannah's memories had been tampered with. The only person who could do that, though, was Neuro.

Or... Axon.

But why would he want to erase the memories of Violet Thorn from the hall monitor? What significance did she have? And Axon was still locked in Kryptarium Prison, as far as I knew, so how did he manage to erase Hannah's memories? Or was it an undisclosed case of amnesia?
Disturbed and perturbed by my abundance of questions and sore lack of answers, I stared at the ceiling until my eyes went puffy and the sun rose once again.
"You look awful," Chen commented upon meeting me outside my class that next day. Ambrose was otherwise occupied and Vali was doing a quick patrol of the campus.
"Thanks," I groaned as I held my sore neck. "This thing with Violet is driving me insane."
Chen's face turned to confusion.
"Who?"
My eyes opened and I halted my stretching, eyeing him fretfully.
"What do you mean 'who'?" I asked, voice empty. "Violet. My roommate. You've met her multiple times."
"Have you hit your head?" Chen asked, genuinely confused. "You've never had a roommate, remember? The girl who was supposed to be your roommate ended up not going to BIT."

My heart began to thunder noisily in distress and it echoed heavily in my ears. Doubt began to trickle into my veins - did I really have a roommate? Did Violet even exist?
"Excuse me," I said breathily, and turned to retreat to my dorm. There, I spent the rest of the day turning over through Violet's things, assuring myself that I wasn't losing my mind.
Another sleepless night.
I made a decision while staring at my ceiling again to head to the student library as soon as it opened at six - a large, sprawling institute of books, books and more books. It held the student records there, if I could slip past the receptionist. Ambrose would be my reluctant escort.
I trudged through the snow beside the elemental master, both used to and perturbed by the silence of the empty campus. No other student would dare be up at five-fifty on a winter's morning in the dead of study season for the upcoming midterms. Most would still be sleeping off their till-early morning study nights, like how I should've been. My lack of study for the exams had my nervousness rolling cartwheels in my gut.

The receptionist smiled upon our entrance to the otherwise dead library. I shook out the snowflakes from my hair as I smiled back and passed, bumping into him with my elbow.
"Oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed with red cheeks as I helped him reorientate his balance. Ambrose stifled a yawn and meandered towards the comic book section. "I haven't woken up yet. Coffee hasn't kicked in."
"I know the feeling," the old man chuckled kindly. "Good luck with your studying."
"Thank you!" I called as he returned to his current occupation; placing misplaced books back into their homes. I turned and peered down at the ID card I snagged from the clip on his lanyard as I powerwalked to the other end of the library. Hopefully he won't notice it missing for a few minutes.
At the end of the library was another room set off from the rest, holding all kinds of records that the offices didn't want to hold - and had exactly what I was after. After pressing the ID card to the proximity reader and hearing the door unlock, I ushered myself in and closed it as quietly as I could.
I was met with rows upon rows of filing cabinets that held the hard copies of student records, just in case the online system had a melt down.

"T," I whispered to myself, eyeing the letters at the start of corresponding rows. "There."
After scanning the fronts of the cabinets and finding the appropriate draw, I pulled it open and pawed through the files.
Nothing. Nothing. Not one single mention of Violet Thorn.
Since the student records were a bust, I turned to my next alternative; the internet. After sneaking out of the records room and dropping the ID card on the floor for the librarian to find, I sneaked towards one of the computers and pretended to have come from the bathroom.
A couple of matches showed up, but only for people who shared her name. Nothing on my Violet Thorn, whose absence was increasingly becoming and irritating thorn in my side.
"Shit," I breathed, sitting back in my chair and running my hand through my hair in agitation. "Shit." What the hell was happening? It was as if any trace of Violet Thorn had all but completely disappeared.
"Found anything?" Ambrose asked as he dropped his arms onto the back of my seat.
"Nothing," I said in frustration. "Absolutely nothing... do you even know what I'm looking for-?"

But Ambrose had already fallen asleep with his head buried into the crook of his elbow. How he could fall asleep standing up confounded me.
Letting the man rest, I stood from my seat and pulled out my phone. I could only think of one other thing to do.
"Hey!" Lloyd greeted in a tone that was far too chipper for half past six in the morning, but it still made a warm flutter pass through my chest nonetheless. "What are you doing calling so early?"
Usually, Lloyd's voice could calm even the most severe of panicking. That morning, however, wasn't quite like the others.
"Violet Thorn," I said quickly as I bunched the bottom of my shirt in my fist. "Do you remember her? Black and purple hair with a resting face that looks like she wants to set fire to an anthill for the fun of it?"
Lloyd immediately turned serious.
"Your roommate?" he replied. The sigh of relief that left my lips was exponential. "Yeah, what about her?"
"She's gone. Everything about her's gone missing," I murmured, holding my hand just over my mouth, despite the absolute lack of human presence in the library. "There's no records, nobody remembers her. I'm going insane!"

Lloyd went silent for a few beats. I waited for his words on baited breath, hoping that with the admittedly little information I had, he'd make a theory that could put my heart to rest.
"No signs of struggle?" he finally spoke up, voice grim and firm and, if it were under different circumstances, would have driven me wild. "Is there anything missing from her belongings?"
"I don't think so," I answered with a shake of my head. "She just went away for mid-semester break and never returned. There's nothing about her in the student records, either. The only proof is the stuff on her side of the room."
Lloyd exhaled slowly in thought.
"And nobody remembers her."
"Nobody," I insisted fretfully. "Not my friends, not the hall monitor, not anybody from her classes. If it weren't for you, I'd be thinking that I was insane by now. It kind of reminds me of..."
"I'll have Zane look into it," Lloyd noted before I could mention a certain imprisoned master of the mind. "Just... stay safe. Take your taser with you everywhere."
"Yeah," I whispered.
"I have to go," he announced, voice quiet and resigned. "Mission. Love you. I'll call again tonight."

"Love you," I replied weakly, just before the click of the line dying reached my ears. My hand lowered my phone and I watched it with an empty feeling.
I called Lloyd to inform him of this confusing situation, yes, but also to be reassured. Usually anything revolving him made me calm instantly - the world could be ending but I would be fine beside him. He was my rock, after all. His mere presence could ground me to reality, his soft words would remind me to breathe and rebalance myself. Clear my head, calm my thoughts.
It didn't work that time.

I stared at my phone apathetically. A stifling sense of loneliness suddenly overwhelmed me.

Long-distance is hard.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

Two months had passed since Violet disappeared and absolutely nothing had come up.

The only thing noteworthy was that one day, earlier on, I came home to my dorm room to find anything of her's missing. It was as if she never stepped foot into our dorm room at all.
I thought about her disappearance more often than I should have, occupying my thoughts just as much as studying and Lloyd's increasing missions did. Worries had me in a vice grip - where was Violet ? Was she okay? Lloyd's missions could go on for days and it would be that long until I heard from him again, was he doing alright?
I was lonely.
I missed having a roommate. I missed having my boyfriend on call at night and visit me every other weekend. But his duties to the city came before his duties to me, and that was a situation I was comfortable with. I would rather cut my own hand off than have someone be in trouble and ask for Lloyd to prioritise spending time with me rather than helping people in need.
It certainly didn't lessen the effects of loneliness, however.

But one night - one single night - I got to have him to myself.
The ball. As cheesy and predictable it may be, Lloyd made sure to set aside the date. It was time just for me and him (and the rest of the student body, sure) and I was downright thrilled to spend an evening pretending that my world wasn't falling to pieces around me.
My reflection stared back at me from the mirror as I brushed down the front of my dress. I looked as exhausted as I felt, head spinning from the mysteries that constantly hung over me. Make-up did little to hide the lack of spark in my eyes.
Violet's side of the room now housed a couple of Lloyd's things, most having not been touched for months, some recently having been cradled by my arms during the nights where it all became too much for me to handle alone.
Stress was just... a lot. I didn't know how to handle it without tipping the tepid balance that life required from me. My lacklustre results on my mid-term exams, Violet's disappearance, Lloyd's near-constant missions, the books, the serpentine treaty, my training, lack of contact from my Ninjago City friends.
It all kept piling atop each other, higher and higher. I was starting to lose my balance.

The ball had already been going for half an hour, and low and behold, a mission took longer than the team had expected and Lloyd was running late. We didn't seem to have a good run with school dances, it seemed.
I sat in my empty dorm room and patiently waited. My bare feet tapped on the ground as I bid the time, practically watching the minutes tick by. The sun was long gone.
By the time a knock was at the door to my dorm room, I was almost falling asleep. Slowly stumbling, I tiredly made my way over to the door and opened it.
"I'm so sorry," Lloyd immediately launched into a frantic apology, blond hair handsomely wind-swept and suit distressed from the flight over. "We didn't expect the mission to last as long as it did..."
His words faded into background noise and I found myself instead just watching his face - the way his red eyes stared only at me despite the utter guilt in them, the way his lips would shape to form words, the nervous ticks of his freckled nose twitching.

How long had it been since I last saw him? Two months, three weeks and five days? Had I really calculated the days by counting them from our message history during a particular depressive spiral? I did, and it only made me feel worse.
Do you ever get that feeling where every bit of stress and anxiety and every single tiny piece of negativity would build up and amplify in your chest until the pressure became so great that you could feel it in your ears? That there seemed to be no answers to anything because nothing made sense in the confused, muddled, emotional puddle that your brain had become? How do you get rid of that feeling without bursting into tears and venting it out through sobs?
If there was a way, I didn't know it.
Lloyd's apology stopped short when I dropped my forehead to his chest and let all the weight of the pressure slip from my shoulders and out through my eyes in heavy, bloated tears. He hesitated in confusion as I cried against him.
Say what you will about crying, but it feels fucking fantastic. There was nothing quite like letting the stinging of your eyes go ham, like balling up all the emotional energy that was building up within you and finally releasing it.
It was cathartic, it was relaxing, and it was making Lloyd very worried.

"Y/n," he said, voice strained and pressing with insistence, forgoing pet names as I drowned on my tears and he held my cheeks. "I- I'm so sorry- I'm-"
"Sh- shut up," I gasped through my sobs as he began another ramble of apologies. He looked almost offended, so I added a "p- please," to sweeten my request.
Lloyd's face melted into a looking of concerned sympathy. He wiped away my tears with his thumb in such a gentle act of sweetness that it made more cries bubble through my throat. We were still in the doorway to my dorm, and even though mostly everyone was at the ball, I still really didn't want to risk someone walking in on me being particularly vulnerable. Only Lloyd got to see this side of me. And my mom.
I was grateful through my anguished brain that Lloyd gently guided me inside and shut the door behind us. I flopped onto the edge of my bed and hung my head while tears dropped onto the princess skirt of my dress. Lloyd knelt between my knees and grasped at my loose hands.
"What's wrong, my love?" he asked quietly, troubled. I shook my head, not even knowing where to begin. Where could I begin without sounding like a poor excuse of a person? People get stressed everyday and most of them could handle it far better than I.

"It- it's dumb," was all I could manage to say, much the utter disbelief and discontent of Lloyd.
"I'm sure it's not," he murmured while rubbing his thumbs over the backs of my hand. "Run it through me, darling girl."
I lowered my head until it was resting on Lloyd's shoulder. I sniffled. He raised a hand until his fingertips were curling through the hair above my ear.
"I'm so- I'm so tired," I whispered into his shoulder. "And I shouldn't be, but I am. I feel so... anxious everyday that I'm sick but there's so much going on that there's no time for me to work through it." I inhaled a shuddering breath and closed my damp eyes. The tears on my eyelashes were cold. "I don't know what to do, Lloyd."
He was quiet for some time, doing nothing but letting my tears soak through the jacket of the suit that he'd up-cycled from our high school prom and running a hand through my hair. The room was silent aside from my sniffles.

"Do you still want to go the ball?" he asked quietly, and I was already shaking my head no before he could finish his question.
"I don't want to be around anyone," I mumbled truthfully. He pulled a feigned, teasing pout and sent it my way.
"Even me?" Lloyd asked, mockingly hurt. He managed to bring a watery, weary smile out of me, cheeks still soaked with salty tears.
"No," I sighed quietly, brushing my fingers over his bottom lip. He shivered as the pads of my fingertips whispered over a healing split. "You're special. I always want to be around you."
Lloyd's responding smile was soft and adoring. I felt the words bubbling in my chest and escaping before I had the mind to stop them.
"I miss you," I breathed, voice hitched. My fingertips still rested delicately over his parted lips, his soft breaths tumbling over my knuckles. "I miss you so much that it aches. And between everything else that's going on... I feel like I'm suffocating."
I choked on the last word and I felt my face turn in anguish. His expression grew more concerned, so he stood, kicked off his dress shoes and scooped my trembling self into his arms before collapsing back onto my bed. I stared in surprise, hands gripping his arm as we dropped.

"I'm here," he murmured, dragging me in closer and whispering into my hair. He pressed a gentle kiss to the crown of my head and the sweetness of it made my tears well faster. "I'm here."
For the past two months, I felt as I were dangling over a pit of spikes from a fraying thread. One wrong move, one wrong breath, and the thread would snap and I'd be doomed.
It was a fine line to walk - between staying composed and completely losing it - but the longer these troubles that weighed down my shoulders existed and bulged and made my knees buckle, the more the fine line I'd been navigating began to blur into something incomprehensible.
"How do you do it?" I croaked after burying the side of my face into Lloyd's white button-up. "How do you balance everything? How are you still functioning?" Because, while I knew that I shouldn't invalidate individual's struggles just because someone else 'may have it worse,' I also knew that Lloyd's daily issues far surpassed my own.

A short laugh slipped from his lips. My eyes drifted to his tired, smiling face. He stared at the ceiling while mindlessly rubbing circles on my shoulder.
"I don't," he admitted with a small shrug. "I wake up in the mornings and wonder what I'll mess up." He dropped his chin so his red eyes could snag my own gaze. "The key is to just take it one day at a time. Don't worry so much about the past, and the future can wait its turn. All that matters is the present."
"But the present is what's suffocating me," I murmured.
"Like what?" he asked. "Run it through me."
"Violet, for one-"
"Which Zane is looking into for us," Lloyd interjected.
"The books," I said.
"That we're all doing our part according to the plan."
"My training's slipping," I mentioned.
"Ambrose isn't exactly the best stand in for hand-to-hand combat," Lloyd confessed. "And it's not as if you have an end date for training. Just do it when you can. Why don't you ask Seliel and Vali to help train you?"
"They scare me," I whispered, causing him to roll his eyes. "My grades are stressing me out, too. It's hard to concentrate on studying as is without everything else happening around me."

"Tutor?" Lloyd suggested. "I don't know how to help you with that one. I never really studied."
"D-grade student," I sighed. He squeezed my shoulders.
"Sorry, I was too busy saving the world," Lloyd huffed. My voice was starting to steady, the calming effects of Lloyd's presence finally starting to soothe my erratic nerves. I timed my breaths to the slow rub of his palm on my shoulder. "What else is bothering you?"
"The serpentine treaty," I mumbled.
"Okay, why are you worrying about that one?" Lloyd asked, truly perplexed. "Dad told you not to worry about it during your course. We're handling it." He paused in thought. "Though Pythor does miss you."
"Facts, I miss him too," I moaned forlornly. Lloyd scoffed and muttered 'traitor' under his breath. My lips finally pulled into a small smile.
"Feel better?" he asked.
"Marginally," I replied before wiggling up so I could press my face into the crook of his neck. He stiffened, and at that moment I realised that he hadn't marked me yet.
Poor Lloyd, he'd been so preoccupied by subduing my wall of pent-up emotions that he'd forgone the marking that he usually did as soon as we met up again.

"Sorry," I whispered, curling my fingers through his soft, messy hair. "You must be antsy."
"You're more important," Lloyd mumbled. His palm dragged itself down my side before resting over my hip. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine." But my voice had a slight shake that I couldn't conceal. "Do your thing, dragon boy, and then can you tell me something happy?"
The smile Lloyd sent as he pushed himself up on one forearm had my chest warming and squiggling. His fingers delicately pushed some hair from my face before tracing the contours of my cheek.
"Of course, sunshine," he murmured. He shifted forward and his face dragged so close to my neck that I could feel his fluttering eyelashes tickling my nerves. I drew in a sharp breath and his voice lowered. "Anything you want."
I held myself tightly as Lloyd pressed his first kiss against my neck. My head dropped back onto my pillow and my eyes slid shut.
"Something happy, hmm?" he hummed as he dotted pecks. He moved until his knees were on either side of my hips. "I'm happy to see you. Hold you, to have you in my arms again."

A bashful smile rippled against my lips.
"Flirt," I teased, before gasping when Lloyd began running the tip of his fang from the crook of my neck to under my ear. My back arched with the slow, decedent pull.
"Is it really flirting if I'm telling the truth?" he questioned breathlessly. My hands reached up to mess themselves in his soft, wind blown hair.
"Always is, with you," I answered. My face blissfully scrunched when he sucked a love bite above my collar bone. My fingers tightened in his locks. "Lloyd."
A purr rumbled from the back of his throat.
"Kashu's being taught tricks by Jay," Lloyd commented as he pulled back to catch his breath. My eyes blearily opened to stare at the ceiling. "He won't let me see, though. I think he's planning something for your birthday."
I smiled.
"That's happy," I sighed. Lloyd dropped his weight onto one forearm and cupped my cheek with his hand, thumb brushing over my bottom lip. "What else?"
Lloyd narrowed his eyes in thought. My lips parted under his touch.

"Raptra's doing a school report on us," he murmured, tracing my lips as he stared at them. "Nelson and Anabel have started going on play dates. I saw them at the park with their parents during patrol the other week."
"That is so cute," I breathed before pushing Lloyd's fingers away and enveloping him in a kiss. He swiftly and eagerly reciprocated, hand darting around to support the back of my head as my hair tangled in his fingers.
My phone began to ring and I held back a groan. Lloyd reached over to the device on the bedside table and answered it.
"Hi, Aisling," he greeted, dropping himself onto his back beside me. I slumped myself over his stomach and his free hand circled my waist, his eyes watched the ceiling as he remained silent.
His green eyes glanced down at me.
"I think Aisling broke," he whispered. "She hasn't said a word."
A voice suddenly came through the line. Lloyd didn't break our stare.
"Your friends want to know if you're going to the ball," he passed on.

I closed my eyes and held an inhale. Rolling onto my back and slowly releasing my breath, I stared at the ceiling.
"Ugh," I finally said. "Fine."
"We'll be there in ten," Lloyd answered the person on the phone who clearly wasn't Aisling. Probably one of the boys.
He tossed my phone back onto the beside table.
"How's my make up?" I asked as I rubbed under my eyes.
"You look exquisite."
I sent him a dry look.
"Your mascara is running a bit," Lloyd admitted. He licked his thumb and began wiping it away for me. "But in my eyes? Stunning."
"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend," I grumbled as I sat up and adjusted my dress. It was a little crumpled, but I long ago lost the capacity to care. However, I did have just enough dignity to want to clean my face up before we left.
"I'm offended that you'd think I'd be fibbing," Lloyd said as his arms wrapped around my waist. He pressed a kiss to my jaw. "My beautiful girl."

"Stop it," I groaned, planting my hand on his face and pushing him back. "You're making me blush."
"Goal achieved!" he cheered from under my palm. I rolled my eyes with a snicker.
"You're such a dork," I teased. He pulled my hand away and beamed.
"A cute one though, right?" he asked. I nodded and pushed his fringe back with an affectionate pat and kissed his forehead.

"The cutest," I agreed. "Now get up, we're gonna be late to the ball we're already late to."

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

The last few months of university passed by slowly. Imbued with nothing but studying, exams, stress and crying at random intervals, life didn't stray far from what would be considered normal.

I did end up training with Vali and Seliel. They still scared me. Zane found nothing on Violet and I eventually told myself to forget about her. Sometimes in life, there are things that just won't be revealed when you want them to. I'd long accepted that fact.
Maybe one day I'll understand what the hell happened to her. I just hoped that she was okay, wherever she was. Whoever she was.
Life passed by dutifully. I trained in the early mornings with the two ninja and elemental master. I sat my exams. I packed up my dorm. I waited on my stripped bed until Lloyd arrived to pick me up in his old, beat up car, insisting on taking the seven-hour-long drive rather than flying.
With all my belongings, I doubt we'd be able to strap it safely to Bentley.

And, finally, my first year of university drew to a close.

Good timing, too, as it was my birthday the next day. Finally nineteen. It felt as if this past year both slugged along unbelievably slow but also disappeared in the blink of an eye. So much had happened, yet so little I could really point out as being substantial.
The drive, despite being long and my ass becoming sore, was a wonderful chance to catch up with Lloyd. His sensei training was still coming along, but his self confidence in actually being a Sensei-in-training still had a way to go, which surprised me.
"The classes I take don't really count," Lloyd had answered when I queried about them in regards to being a Sensei. "When they retire and I ascend, I'll be completely in charge. It's not like being team leader. And..." He sighed, hands tightening over the wheel. I watched the side of his face. "Wu and dad won't be around forever. It's a huge mantle to pick up."
My gaze dropped to the road in front of us. A concrete slab settled in my chest.
"Yeah," I whispered. I glanced back at him and sent a reassuring smile. "But I believe that you're going to be a natural. And it's not like you'll actually be alone, not really. You've got your team. You've got me."

The resulting smile that Lloyd sent me put the prettiest of galaxies to shame. He leant over to kiss my cheek and the car swerved and we almost crashed, so I forbade him from cheek kisses until we safely got home.
He pouted for an hour.
When we arrived at the monastery, I spent that remaining hours of the afternoon reacquainting myself with the historical home, almost moved to tears. When had this place became so imbued in my psyche as a safe space? I wasn't sure, but what I did know was that I loved the monastery with my whole heart.
I caught up with my monk friends and reassured Hiyori that I was keeping up with their tiktok videos. The team returned from a short mission that they went on without their leader and they greeted me exuberantly. Hugs all around, despite them stinking (I found that I didn't care, because I just missed them all so much).
Lloyd held my hand the entire time.
And then I had to go to my actual, legal home, where my parents were patiently waiting my arrival.

"I missed Ninjago City," I whispered as I curled against Lloyd's back as we flew over the bright city, trusting him to hear my words. The city lights illuminated the dark night, and the sight was so pretty as we flew overhead that I felt my chest physically ache. It'd been so long since I last was home.
I never felt this way about Jamanakai, but perhaps the boy sat in the saddle in front of me had something to do with that. In response, Lloyd grabbed one of my hands that was holding his waist and pulled it up to kiss my knuckles.
"It missed you, too," he said, and it would've been romantic if he hadn't had to shout it over the wind. I giggled into his shoulder blades.
Bentley landing in my backyard felt incredibly nostalgic and I was once again thankful that we lived in a street that was so dead and deserted with stupidly large backyards (verging on miniature farms, really) so that nobody would notice a magic dragon dropping me off home.
Yes, thankful for that. Except there was a factor we didn't know to prepare for.

Nelson sat on the deck. He dropped his stuffed dragon. All three of us had matching faces.

I finally snapped out of my dumb, shocked silence and urged us to disappear.
"Go, go, go," I harshly whispered to Lloyd and nudged Bentley's sides with my heels. He snorted, but didn't move to fly away.
"Shoot," Lloyd whispered in panic, and I just realised in absolute relief that he had his mask on. We both slipped off of the saddle, and I felt akin to a child having been caught stealing treats from the kitchen.
"Y- y- you're the-" Nelson stammered, eyes wide as he suddenly stood and scuttled forth. I shared a look with Lloyd. "You have a dragon! A dragon, here! A dragon in the backyard!"
Bentley glanced between us, sharing Lloyd's confusion.
"Can I pat him?" Nelson begged.
"Uh," the unsuited green ninja said eloquently. "Y- sure."
Nelson squealed and excited laugh before bounding up towards Bentley. The dragon's head rose away from the boy, still greatly befuddled. His reluctant green eyes jumped to mine. I gave an encouraging nod, so he hesitantly lowered his snout to Nelson's patient hands.
"You're so cool!" Nelson gushed, patting Bentley's face and not paying any mind to the creature's ginormous fangs. He blinked his large eyes. "You look awesome! And you're so big! Look at your wings!"

Nelson launched around to hug Bentley's neck. Bentley let him, stunned but as docile as an old dog. Then Nelson started clambering around the beast while spewing compliments to the dragon, and he continued to behave perfectly.
"Good boy," I whispered to Bentley while Nelson was busy examining his glowing tail. He squeaked in surprise when the dragon began thumping his tail happily at my praise. The green ninja continued to watch over Nelson, just in case.
"Wait!" Nelson exclaimed from where he was standing, barefoot, on the beast's back. We all turned our attention to the boy. "Y/n! How do you know the green ninja?"
Panik.
"Uhhh," I stalled in alarm as I tried to think of a believable excuse. Lloyd's eyes shot to mine. "He's uh, I-"
"Y/n helped me get a kitten down from a tree!" the green ninja jumped in. "So I gave her a lift home as thanks."

"Whoaaa!" Nelson said in awe. "That's so awesome!" Then he promptly returned to exploring the underside of Bentley's wings.
"Helped you get a kitten from a tree?" I whispered harshly. "That's not believable at all!"
"He bought it!" Lloyd pointed out.
"Yeah, but I bet all the people he'll tell won't!"
Lloyd went to reciprocate before freezing as realisation that this ten year old was totally going to spill to everyone he knows that he met the green ninja.
"What's his name?" Nelson asked as he scaled the dragon's neck. "I bet it's something wicked like LightningDeath or StormStrike!"
"His name is Bentley," the green ninja supplied. Nelson paused.
"O- oh," the little boy stammered sheepishly. "I... I guess Bentley's a cool name, too... I guess..."
"Yeah," Lloyd agreed with a shrug, as if to say 'what can ya do?' "It is a pretty lame name."

"Uh, excuse me, Bentley's an awesome name," I scoffed, and the dragon authenticated my comment by snuggling his head against my torso. I abruptly silenced, eyes widening in horror at what I let slip.
Nelson whipped around to face me, having smartly put two and two together. Lloyd slapped his hand to his head.
"You named the green ninja's dragon?!" Nelson trilled, scrambling across Bentley's hide in excitement. "You guys must be super close!"
I felt my soul leave my body.
"Uh, well, not really-"
"You guys must be best friends!" Nelson continued, not hearing Lloyd's failed attempt at turning his train of thoughts another direction. "Or maybe you two are even closer?"
Oh, my god. Just end it now. Uchū, strike me down right this second for being a colossal idiot and letting my words slip.

Lloyd glanced at me, expression neutral from years of masking his emotions, but I knew that he was majorly panicking.
I nervously laughed, glancing back at Nelson. It sounded like I was on the verge of tears.
"But that can't be right," Nelson murmured to himself. "You're dating Lloyd."
Thank the nerds. I sighed in relief.
"Yeah, exactly," I answered, beginning to smile. "The green ninja and I are just-"
"Unless Lloyd's the green ninja!" Nelson shouted triumphantly, turning to us with a proud smile. He didn't even realise how incredible his deduction skills were, because he just nailed it. How many people in the world attempted to do the same? My god.
Meanwhile, I felt ice cover my entire body as I began to freeze in terror. That's it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to cry.
In contrast to me, Lloyd began to chuckle.
"You're funny, kiddo," the green ninja said. He leant against Bentley, at eyesight with Nelson. "And good guess, but I'm not Lloyd Garmadon."
"But you are friends with my cousin?"
Lloyd faltered.
"Er - yeah. Yeah, we're friends."
"Does she know who you really are?" Nelson asked with a small frown. The green ninja shook his head.

"Nobody knows who I am," Lloyd said gently. He ruffled Nelson's brown hair. "That's why I keep my mask on."
"Oh," Nelson said quietly. "I guess that makes sense."
I wanted to weep in relief. Lloyd handled that so well while I blundered like a fool.
"Well," the green ninja said as he lifted Nelson from under his arms and set him on the ground beside me. His green eyes lingered on me. "I better be off. Thanks again for helping me, uh..."
"Save the kitten," I said blandly.
"Yep," he said as he swiftly mounted Bentley. "That. Right, bye, Nelson, Y/n."
"Bye-bye, green ninja!" Nelson waved excitedly as the dragon launched into the sky. Nelson watched giddily as he disappeared behind the tops of the forest and I released a sigh. That was a call far too close for my liking.
"He's so cool," Nelson sighed. But then he frowned and turned to me. "Are you going to start dating the green ninja?"
"What?" I asked with a small smile as I looked down at the little boy. "No. What makes you say that?"

"He was looking at you a lot," he said quietly as he held his hands over his stomach, worriedly. "The way your dad looks at your mom. And the way my mom looks at Sebastian Stan."
"He's just observant," I reassured, crouching down to his height and picking up his stuffed dragon for him. "Why? Do... do you want me to date him?"
"No!" Nelson almost shouted before hiding his face behind his dragon. One sheepish brown eye peeked out at me. "I... I mean... I really like Lloyd."
My chest swelled with unimaginable warmth. I'd never heard of someone picking Lloyd over the green ninja before, not from someone who didn't know his true identity. The only other person I knew who liked Lloyd more than the green ninja was, well... me. Back when I didn't know that they were the same person.
Nelson never fails to amaze me.
I smiled and ruffled his brown hair, much to his complaint.
"I really like Lloyd, too," I said. "Don't worry, Nels. He's not going anywhere."
Nelson beamed, thoroughly relieved. He grabbed my hand and pulled me inside the house, where dinner was just being served up.

I was greeted enthusiastically by both my parents, and after lamenting the fact that their little girl was growing up another year, Jamie looked around in confusion.
"Where's Lloyd?" he asked. "Didn't he drop you off?"
Which then sparked Nelson into telling my parents about how the green ninja gave me a ride home on his dragon. The three of us shared looks.
"Exciting," my mum said.
"Super exciting," dad agreed, much to my chagrin. Their amusement grew at the frustrated look on my face. "How was the green ninja, dear?"
"Very nice," I said shortly.
"Really?" Dad pressed. "How nice?"
The doorbell rang. I exhaled in relief at my saviour.
"That must be Lloyd," I announced and got up to grab the door, but Nelson was already racing off to open it.

"That kid loves Lloyd," mum said.
"Why is he here?" I asked, settling back on my seat. "Where's aunt Rose?"
"At home," dad answered. "Nelson wanted to spend your birthday with you. He was so insistent that he even wanted to stay the night."
"Oh," I said, and held my hands over my heart. "That's so cute."
"Hello, L/n family," Lloyd greeted as he walked into the room with Nelson in his arms. Stars were dancing in the little boy's eyes.
"Lloyd!" Dad greeted before pulling him and Nelson into an awkward group hug. "Just in time for dinner."
"Perfect," Lloyd grinned. Nelson clambered onto his shoulders and hugged his head. "I'm starving."
After eating and finally getting ready for the night, I sat on the end of my bed while I mindlessly plaited my hair.
"He adores you, you know," I mentioned. Lloyd looked up from where he was tugging off his shirt.
"Who, Jamie?"
"No-" I paused to stop myself. "Well, yeah, but I was actually talking about Nelson."

Lloyd chuckled and tossed his shirt into the laundry pile. "He's a good kid."
"After you left, he said that he didn't want me to date the green ninja because he likes you better," I said while he raked through my dresser for one of his shirts. That made him pause.
"Really?" he asked, astonished. I grinned as I nodded.
"I know."
"Huh," he exhaled with a bewildered smile and stared at the open drawer. "Someone liking me better than the green ninja without knowing who I am. It's been a while."
"He's so sweet," I sighed, dropping myself onto my pillow and watching the ceiling. "I'm glad that aunt Rose adopted him even after learning about what Axon did to her memories. I think that Nelson and Rose are both what each other needed."
"Yeah," Lloyd agreed murmuringly. He dropped himself onto bed beside me and it felt just like all those times he'd sneak into my room when we were in high school.

I turned my head and stared at the side of his face, taking him in. Back in my room, not my dorm, not his room, gave me a substantial indicator to just how much he'd grown.
He looked less like a teenage boy and more like a young adult, though the slight eye bags were always evident, even from before I met him.
I reached out and brushed my fingertips down the bridge of his nose. His eyelashes fluttered and he grasped my hand so he could plant a kiss on my palm.
"I love you," I whispered. "I can't wait to grow old with you."
His red eyes found mine in the dark, and they swirled with unbidden emotion.
"Does that mean you want to marry me?"
"Yes," I replied as I stroked his jaw and felt the slight prickles of his growing stubble. His eyes brightened. "But only after I graduate."

Lloyd's expression grew taut in huffiness. He turned to glare at the ceiling.
"Party pooper," he grumbled, causing me to giggle.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

"... I get the feeling that you're all trying to tell me something."

My eyes danced along the crowd of my friends and family, most of whom were affiliated with the monastery, obviously, which was where we decided to hold the celebrations for my nineteenth.
(Nelson was left unaware that this was actually Lloyd's home, and instead just thought that it was a venue we booked out and that I was friends with a bunch of bald people. He was currently playing with Kashu and a group of the younger monks out in the zen garden).
Lloyd shifted uncomfortably beside me, the arm that was slung around my shoulder tense. He stared down at the gifts with the same look of apprehension as I felt, though I tried my best to conceal my emotions as to not hurt anyone's feelings.
Lloyd, however, didn't.
"Seriously, Wu?" he asked as he picked up a book on monastery etiquette from the pile. "It's not like we're a royal family."
Garmadon raised his eyebrows. "Well."
"Don't start."
Also included in the pile was a history book of monasteries, a language book of old Ninjagoan, multiple pieces of kimonos (though Zane's was the only one I was excitedly expecting) and even a pretty wagasa, among others.

"We just want Y/n to be prepared," Misako said, and even my parents looked surprised. "We do have a legacy, Lloyd."
"It's her birthday!" he argued. I picked up the etiquette book and slowly flipped through it while the Garmadons had a heated debate in the background. My eyes widened at the things I was expected to learn - it was all so old-fashioned and traditional, and while I knew that Lloyd's family were substantially important and culturally inclined... I kinda just forget how much they were.
"Oh, wow," I said, thoroughly disheartened at the list of chapters at the front of the book. It was a checklist of things I should know, because marrying Lloyd wasn't the only thing I'd be pledging my life to, apparently. I had to help run the monastery with him, too.
Y/n, head of the monastery. Nuh-uh, no way. I couldn't even keep a gold fish alive, how on earth was I supposed to run a monastery?
Languages, arts, history. Just a few I was to learn. This was stuff that royalty was expected to be educated on, not me.
But, then again... isn't Lloyd's family also considered royalty?

"My grandfather created the world, sunshine. Of course he was made king."

Shit. Shit.
I knew this, but I didn't expect something massive to be my induction into the Garmadon family. Uchū gave up the crown, right? So why did this feel as if I were marrying into royalty?
We weren't even engaged yet!
"Look," Garmadon stressed, and I tuned back into the argument, bleary-minded. "When Y/n marries into this family and takes the head of the monastery, there will be expectations that other elemental masters and the royal family will have of her and you. We can't set Y/n up to fail."
"Who cares about what other people think!" Lloyd rowed. Naomi caught my empty gaze and mouthed a worried 'are you okay?' I answered with an absent-minded nod. Nya picked up the etiquette book from me and pawed through it.
"Isn't this a little... sexist?" she asked grumpily. Lloyd emphasised her point by holding out a hand towards her and staring hard at his parents.
"Of course it isn't," Misako huffed.
"How?!" Lloyd yelled.
"Because you're going to be learning the same things," Wu said calmly as he swirled his tea. "These books are just so Y/n can catch up to what you already know. She hasn't had the luxury of being exposed to our traditions as much as you have. Not letting her learn from these would be nothing more than a hindrance."

Lloyd's arm dropped. His expression turned disgruntled.
"Oh," he said.
"Both of you are going to be learning how to host groups and negotiate," Garmadon said. "That requires an ample amount of worldly knowledge and etiquette. The representatives of the Garmadon household must be respectable, both for the monastery and the secret ninja force's sake."
Oh, sweet. No pressure.
"Y/n," Misako said kindly. She reached out and placed a motherly hand on my knee. "We don't expect you to devote yourself to learning our traditions right away. Your study comes first. We just want you to have access to these materials so you can have an idea about what to expect."
I raised a hand to push back my hair as I stared at the gifts and reading material before me. I was still feeling overwhelmed.
"... this is definitely not what I expected," I breathed.
"And that's why she gets the books," Wu murmured as he took a sip of his tea. Lloyd shot him an irritated glare. Jay's gaze jumped around the room. Cole chewed on his bottom lip.

"Well," my dad said, breaking the awkward tension with a clap. "I reckon it's time for paintball."