TW: Heavily mentions of suicide, blood, death, and self-harm. LEAVE YOU PRECIOUS BABBYS! 

~

"He's only 17, his whole life's ahead of him"

Grian flushed water in his face and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His depression was eating his way into his heart and now all he saw was a shell of his former happy self. 

"He hates school because the people there discredit him"

Sam became the popular kid with Dom's gang and took over when Dom left being the leader. Dom left because they picked on Grian for admitting that he doesn't know what he likes anymore, Dom could relate with him and he deeply cared about him. Dom had even threatened Taurtis to take good care of him and treat him like a king. Taurtis didn't disappoint.

"His boyfriend tries to show him that's not how it seems"

Taurtis sat at the edge of his bed and waited for Grian to come out of the bathroom. He had a worried expression ever since he saw Grian storm out of the bathroom one time and there were drops of crimson on the sink. He had always told him that he will be the shoulder he can cry on at any time

"But every day he just gets lowered with his self-esteem.
He lets him know that every night will have a brighter day,"

Taurtis had held him in a hug and rocked him slightly when he came home sobbing from one of Prime's practical jokes. He had hushed him and stroked his dirty blond hair as a way of comfort. He couldn't know exactly how he felt, but he was going to try his damn best to be the knight in shining armor.

"He even tried to overdose and take his life away" 

Taurtis remembered the time where he found a bottle of his anti-depressants empty and Grian feeling sluggish that day. He shook the thought away and looked up to see his love in a bad shape. what was more concerning to him was that the sleeves normally rolled up to his elbows were down.

"he's feeling hopeless there just sitting down beside his bed,
And then he takes his hand and places it beside his head"

Grian just squirmed at his touch and pushed him away slightly. Something red was inside of his jumper and Taurtis had his suspicions. He pinned Grian down with his wrists above his head while Grian was trying to pull them away and hissed where  Taurtis was holding. 

"He tries to hold him but with every touch he still resists,
And then he sees the scars that bury deep within his wrists,"

Taurtis yanked his sleeves down to confirm his suspicions. His eyes dropped and were blurred as teardrops were leaving his sockets. Grian just turned his head so he couldn't see Taurtis' pitiful face.

"he's feeling numb, he tries to beg and plead and ask him, 'Why?'

Taurtis shook him slightly and screamed while tears were leaving him. Grian just shrugged and let a fake smile form:

"he says 'this way he has control of pain he feels inside'."

 Taurtis shook him again and his pitiful face had become a strict frown.

"He's asking him, "How long it's going since you've felt this way?
Because you got me here, just feeling so damn helpless." 

"Grian Gord damn it! why would you do this?! How long have you been doing this?!" Taurtis yelled with his tears landing on Grian's cheek. Grian shook his waist and Taurtis reached into his pocket to find a razor blade.

"he says, 'It's been a while. I guess I needed better luck.'" Grian looked up to Taurtis with a laughing tone and crying as well. Taurtis helped him up from his position only for him to grab his shoulders and shake him.

"And then he screams at him and tells him, 'Baby, never cut!'

Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,
But listen, pretty baby, you don't have to be alone.
So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut."

Taurtis grabbed said razor blade and held it in front of Grian as he sang:

"I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,
You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.
But, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut."

Taurtis threw his razor blade across the room and looked at Grian before giving him his famous bear hug. The two stayed like this as Grian sobbed in his chest. Taurtis just shushed him while Grian mumbled an "I promise" before the two had fallen asleep next to each other 

~

"The next day at school he's feeling better than the day before.
Even cracked a couple smiles as he walked the corridor."

Grian smiled and waved like he used to do before he was belittled for his sexuality. Taurtis was already in class because he had to meet with Mrs. Okami. 

"But all that seemed to end: he dropped his books when he walked into class.
And every student in the room just seemed to point and laugh."

Sam had rudely set his leg in front of where Grian was going to walk and only Dom's old friends and Sam erupted in laughter, to Grian that felt like a judge had sentenced him to death. Dom had popped his knuckles, Yuki had reached into her pocket and glared at Dom, and Taurtis just looked at Grian in concern. Grian just backed up and ran into the bathroom. Rowan screaming that the entire class just got detention.

~

Grian was sobbing on the floor of the bathroom and he gripped his hair in frustration 

"he couldn't take it anymore, he sent his love a text.
he said, 'I love you with my body, heart, and soul to death"

Taurtis was sitting at lunch after texting him asking where he was. He had looked at his phone and smiled. He seemed better than before.

"He thought nothing, typed, "I love you", then he sent it.
By "death" he didn't know that he had literally just meant it!"

Grian just looked at his phone and realized what he had to do. He used the broken window as an exit.

he ducked the next class, ran home into his bathroom.
Thought to himself he wouldn't break his promise that soon.

Grian opened the door and dug through the medicine cabinet until he found his "only friend". He had held the cold metal between his shaking hands before holding it to his heart 

"I'm sorry Taurtis, I let you down yet again..." he had slammed the door and locked it.

"One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four
The blood just started dripping from the tub to the floor."

~

"Mrs. Okami, Grian hasn't come back yet can I please check on him?!" Taurtis had raised his hand and ran out of class before she could give him an answer. Taurtis had panted as he ran straight to the house:

"His boyfriend had a feeling in his stomach that he hated.
He followed it right down to his house he never waited.
The front door was open, he heard the water running."

"Grian let me in or I'm going to ram it down!" Taurtis knocked excessively and jiggled the doorknob. He didn't get a response, so he had no choice. He had kicked the door and ran inside.

"He stormed into the bathroom and his heart just started gunning"

"N-no!"

~

"Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,
But listen, pretty baby, you don't have to be alone.
So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut.

I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,
You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.
Baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut."

~

"GRIAN WAKE UP!" Taurtis yelled as he dragged Grian out of the bathtub. He still had his school uniform on and blood was everywhere.

He puts his arm around his shoulder, he's tryna lean him back up.
Yelling out his name as he lays him beside the bathtub.
Feels his whole world just took a hit from a big avalanche.
Screaming out so heavily, "Somebody call an ambulance!"

"ANYBODY, HELP!!!!!!" Taurtis had screeched from the top of his lungs as he held his bleeding lover.

The paramedics rushed in as they placed Grian on a stretcher. Taurtis refused to let go of his hand. No matter how many times Okami and Rowan tried to pull him off. He had lost Salex and he won't let go of Grian.

"Feeling mad angry like somebody's led him onto this.
His eyeballs are rolling, drifting out of consciousness.
Thinking to himself why the hell didn't he stop at will.
The tears just keep on rolling as they head to the hospital."

~

The doctors and paramedics had to forcefully pull Taurtis off of Grian and told him to sit in the emergency room. Taurtis had to be dragged over there when he wouldn't listen.

"Paramedics rush him in, doctor calls emergency.
he's lost a lot of blood the place looks like a murder scene,"

Taurtis had been pacing around for what had been like forever until Pete had walked up to him with his head down.

"An hour later, the doc walks over with a sour face,
And says, 'Excuse me for the words that I'm about to say.
I'm sorry for your loss,' the boy just starts collapsing."

Taurtis fell to his knees and screamed as tears poured down from his face. He had gripped his hair and had curled up into a ball. This couldn't be real. He could be back at any second!

"His own world, his own boy! just took a crashing.
Saying to himself that it's his fault and that he let it up."

Okami, Yuki, Dom, Rowan, and practically the entire class came over to hug a grieving Taurtis, He only said one thing through his grieving tears:

"Baby, I thought you made a promise you would never cut."

~

Taurtis had sat next to his Tombstone hugging his knees. Sam and Dom's gang were arrested (after Dom kicked the ever-living crap out of all of them) and everyone all lost a little part of the school and themselves. Taurtis stayed after the funeral and had many thoughts of joining his two late loves. He thought no, that's not what they want and just sobbed. His own lyrics haunting him as the rain pours onto the schoolyard:

"Nobody seems to get you, you feel you're on your own,
But listen, pretty baby, you don't have to be alone.
So, baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut.

I know your heart is hurting, you think the road has end,
You may just feel that blade you're holding is your only friend.
Baby, don't cut, baby, don't cut.
You can do anything, just promise, baby, you won't cut."

:

A/N

I keep getting fueled with angst ideas and its scaring me. My mindset for this chapter was a conversation I had about "My R" and I thought "This song is actually worse". Would you guys like a My R chapter?

But seriously; If you are having these thoughts, You are not alone! Please you are valued little beans and you make a huge difference in this world! It's not the answer! Believe me, I know...I'm sorry I'm not a counselor about these things, and I know how you may feel but please. You're all on this earth for a great reason, to be who you are!