Ketterdam was back to all its glitz and glory, it was like the plague never happened. Especially in the Barrel, the energy felt contagious—the street vendors hawking paper cones full of sizzling meat and syrupy stacks of waffles, magicians daring passers by to try their luck, drunken tourists outfitted as the characters from the Komedie Brute and smooth limbed creatures of impossible beauty, bodies clad in bare scraps of silk, cheekbones dusted with glitter, luring the lonely or the curious across one of the many bridges to the pleasure houses of West Stave. The sheer amount of money passing through this place, the endless tide of people—there was nothing like it anywhere.

She pushed through the crowd of people, she'd never considered the Barrel her home—until, she joined the Dregs. She'd found a home and a place of belonging with them, in short, she'd found her purpose in life; the fire that fuels her soul.

As the Slat came into view, she looked up at that attic. The window of the attic was wide open, it had always been that way as long as she could remember only at times when there was a storm or heavy rain, it remained shut. She pulled down her sleeves as she walked into the Slat, at this time of the day it was mostly empty as the Dregs were running around with their busy schedules. She had been so used to the noises, that at this hour of the day it was weird to enter the Slat—it seemed almost quite.

Keeg walked right past her holding a large crate, he seemed so occupied with his work that he didn't even acknowledge her presence. She gazed to the direction of Haskell's old office room, which now—Kaz Brekker had made his new office and where he takes all important Dregs business. He still kept his old room at the attic, which was stacked up with more crates and papers than it used to be. But now he spends his nights at the Crow Club, which has become the largest and the most popular gambling den in the Barrel.

The Crow Club has been luring in pigeons from all corners, the business ran round the clock and it had popularised the Dregs to an extent that none of the barrel gangs had ever been. The Dregs were all very proud and they all had Dirtyhands to thank for, he'd kept his word, he'd kept his promise and he'd been a better leader than Haskell ever could—they'll knew it but now they had accepted him, deeply and loyally.

Back then when Kaz had fought his own gang to show who really was in charge of the Dregs, many had resented him—if only they'd not listened to the old man Per Haskell, they'd have never been in that mess from the start and some of them would have still have their teeths and Gorka would not be needing a cane.

Now she climbed up the wooden stairs into Inej's old bedroom—she'd taken that place after Inej moved out of Ketterdam after her indenture was paid off. It was small with a narrow bed, a shelf for her stuffs and a little window to look out at but at least she had her own room and privacy. She'd painted the room in bright orange, because she liked the Barrel flash and it brings more colours to the room.

She opened her little window and looked down at the crowded streets below. She kind of missed the plague and quarantine quiet now that all that is over, but business has been flourishing for the Dregs and she should be thankful because it's what lines their pockets and the more they earn—the more her cut. She gazed into the oval mirror on the wall, it was a gift from Pim a year ago on her birthday. She ran her fingers through her hair, adjusting the flyaways and then pinching her nose and cheeks to give them a natural flush.

"A girl gotta do, what a girl gotta do." She said under her breath as she slapped her cheeks.

Then she heard the sound of the cane hitting the wooden floors below, she listened closely it wasn't Gorka—it was Kaz Brekker. He should be at the Crow Club at this hour, and she should be at Fifth Harbor with Teapot instead of the Slat. She quickly grabbed the tin box she came for and made her way down the stairs, Kaz's office room door was wide open, she couldn't see him but she could see Keeg and in his hand a sealed letter pale blue wax, marked with a golden double eagle. She could recognise that seal anywhere, it was from Ravka.

Someone tapped on her shoulder, she flinched. It was none other than Pim, "what are you doing here? I thought you were at the harbour."

"I came to grab this," she showed him the tin box that she'd stuffed with crackers.

Pim nodded, then before he entered Kaz's office room he said over his shoulder, "you're paying for dinner tonight, don't bail out on me Anika."

The Kerch girl gave a tight nod as she walked out of the Slat. Her mind wandered to the seal letter from Ravka, it must be from Aeolian. But why the Ravkan seal? Why not the seal of the Shu's? The Shu girl had been a part of the Dregs being their top spider before she left for Ravka. Only after Inej showed up with Aeolian's mother did Anika found out that Aeolian was not only an elite spy from Shu Han but the princess herself, who had been hiding in Ketterdam for months.

Everything made sense to Anika after that—how Aeolian was always so put together, and how she was the way she was. She was royalty at the end of the day and being a spy had also helped her to be the person she was. She was the definition of a dream and a nightmare both put together. Maybe, that's the reason why Kaz was fond of her because he'd seen himself in her or maybe, because she was everything that he couldn't control. And Kaz Brekker likes being in control and with her he wasn't and that was a challenge for him.

Anika would never know the reasons but what she knew was, Kaz had brought Aeolian a ship something that none expected from Dirtyhands and he'd reunited her with her mother. Pim had seen them together at Fifth Harbor that morning and he'd explained to Anika about the glory details of how Kaz looked almost at ease, a look he'd never expected to see from Dirtyhands.

Anika knew that Kaz adores the Shu princess, she'd seen it, she'd felt it time and again. But she'd never known to what extent until, that day when the grand wedding invitation arrived.

King Nikolai Lanstov, Grand Duke of Udova, sole sovereign of the great nation of Ravka, and Princess Aeolian Kir-Taban, daughter of heaven, most Ethereal of the Taban Line, would like to welcome all and sundry to the grand celebration of matrimony in the royal chapel of Os Alta.

She'd thought all along that Aeolian had left for Ravka for some personal reasons but she'd never expected this—none of them had. Anika always thought that what Kaz and the Shu princess had was special but a wedding invite? She couldn't wrap her mind around it and she didn't know how to. Kaz hadn't shown his anger but she knew that he was outraged by it.

He became darker and darker, shutting himself out. It had been agonising for them all to be around him. Anika recalled the dark days on the Ferolind when Aeolian had been stabbed by Oomen and how infuriated Kaz had been; even after killing a bunch of Black Tips who'd rounded Aeolian up the crates from cutting Oomen's eyes out and throwing him overboard. He'd not found his peace until Aeolian was back on her feet, alive and breathing again.

Now Anika stood at Fifth Harbour her eyes on Berth twenty-two, Aeolian's berth. The Berth they saw her last before she left Ketterdam, will she ever come back to Ketterdam? Back to him? Kaz had given her the choice, the choice to leave, the choice to choose the life she wanted to live and the choice to come back one day, if she wanted to.

But looking at the situation now, it seems like the Shu princess had finally found her purpose and calling in life and she was never coming back. Maybe this was something to be thankful for, Anika thought. How long had she waited for Aeolian to leave for good and she finally has, but it didn't seemed right, for the first time ever—Aeolian leaving Ketterdam didn't feel right.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

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Billie...
What do you want from me?
Why don't you run from me?
What are you wondering?
What do you know?
Why aren't you scared of me?
Why do you care for me?
When we all fall asleep, where do we go?
Come here...
Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly?
You're payin'?
Is the amount cleanin' you out
Am I satisfactory?
Today, I'm thinkin' about
The things that are deadly
The way I'm drinkin' you down
Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me
Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh)
Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha)
Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh)
Bury a friend, I wanna end me
I wanna end me
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna–
What do you want from me?
Why don't you run from me?
What are you wondering?
What do you know?
Why aren't you scared of me?
Why do you care for me?
When we all fall asleep, where do we go?
Listen...
Keep you in the dark, what had you expected?
Me to make you my art
And make you a star and get you connected?
I'll meet you in the park
I'll be calm and collected
But we knew right from the start
That you'd fall apart 'cause I'm too expensive
Your talk'll be somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud
Honestly, I thought that I would be dead by now (Wow)
Callin' security, keepin' my head held down
Bury the hatchet or bury your friend right now
For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul
'Cause I can't say no, no, I can't say no
Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close
And I can't say no, I can't say no
Careful...
Step on the glass, staple your tongue (Ahh-ha)
Bury a friend, try to wake up (Ahh-ha)
Cannibal class, killin' the son (Ahh)
Bury a friend, I wanna end me
I wanna end me
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna end me
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna–
What do you want from me?
Why don't you run from me?
What are you wondering?
What do you know?
Why aren't you scared of me?
Why do you care for me?
When we all fall asleep, where do we go?

🎵🎵🎵

February 15. 2022