Kaz Brekker had always manipulated people by using love, he used Nina's love for Matthias, he used Matthias love for Nina, he used Jan Van Eck love for his unborn heir. But then love was being used against him with Aeolian; when Van Eck had kidnapped her, when Nikolai had used love on him to steal the titanium. She'd stole the thief's heart, right under his nose.

"I don't know if you deserve her but for some reasons, she thinks you do." The Shu man had told him when he handed Kaz the sealed envelope, which contained a lock of hair from the Shu princess.

It's been almost two years now since Aeolian had left Ketterdam. But till date, every morning at sunrise he'd go to Fifth Harbour in hope that he'd see her ship at Berth twenty-two.

"That berth belongs to you too. It will always be there if you want to come back." He'd told her back then when he'd gifted her, her very own ship.

"I don't know what to say, Kazuki." She'd replied.

"Say you'll return." He said.

"I'm not done with Ketterdam." She told him.

That time, Kaz Brekker didn't know what she meant by that but after she left. He'd gotten the information that—the Shu princess had sneaked into the hideout of Pekka Rollins in the middle of the night, carving the initial 'J' on his chest and threatened him to never return to Ketterdam or face her wrath.

The king of the barrel was so petrified that he packed his bags and his men and fled right after, never to be heard of again. Kaz knew she was a dangerous girl but never thought, she'd go to that extent to threaten Rollins'. He felt intimidated and extremely proud of her as well. If she'd never left the barrel, by now she'd be the Empress of the barrel.

The Shu princess was born with a great purpose, she was born to rule. She was born to bring men to their knees, to burn kingdoms down. Kaz knew it all too well.

She won't break you like those other girls will. That's exactly why he's terrified of her. She could make him happy. And he know being happy is the most terrifying thing in the universe. Once he's happy, it can be taken from him.

He was a warrior with a fighter's mind and she was a battle he lost every time.

And every time he thinks of her, he smiles but his heart hurts like hell. Because he might never see her again, but he'd choose her happiness over his every time. Never before had he wanted to say so much, but said so little, felt so much but stayed so silent.

But she's not his. He don't think she could ever be anyone's. She doesn't want to be owned. That's what he love most about her.

Now, he picked up his crow cane and walked out of Haskell's old office in the ground floor which he'd made his new office after taking over the Dregs. His gang was in a merry mood drinking and celebrating their success, almost all of them were wasted as shit except for Anika and Pim who were playing cards.

Kaz didn't join in the merrymaking because he wasn't the type of person who likes to party from the start and even after all these time, he still can't mingle with the other Dregs like he did with his crows. Wylan and Jesper were still around in Ketterdam and would occasionally invite him over, which he'd always decline until, they stopped because they got the message; he wasn't interested to hang out with them.

He had no ill feelings towards them but every time he sees them, his mind takes him back to the good old days where they were all a crew—scheming, heisting and plotting together. And recalling her memories makes him feel helpless and Kaz Brekker loathes being helpless, he was running away from his problems like he always does but he just doesn't know how to face it. Especially, when they're seas apart and it gives him little comfort knowing she's still engaged to the king of Ravka.

He shook his thoughts off and climbed up the long three storey wooden staircase, towards the attic of the Slat, which used to be his old office—Aeolian's old apartment could be seen from the attic, and since he would be heading back to the Crow Club before sunset. He wanted to have a quick view of her apartment, even the structure of that old building eases his mind somehow.

Back when she was in Ketterdam, she'd open the window of her bedroom sipping her morning coffee and gazing back at his window. Even though it's around two hundred meters in distance, he could see her clearly. She'd sign language him 'good morning' or 'haven't you slept yet?' And even those small gestures would make up his entire morning.

Kaz had brought that place a
Free she left because a part of him couldn't imagine someone else living in that apartment where Aeolian had built her home, and filled with all things she adored. Even in her short stay in Ketterdam, she'd made the place as liveable as it could be. She didn't care about the kruge she spends on the books, the utensils and the furnitures. She just wanted it to be her place, even when she knew she'd leave it one day.

Her stuffs were all there, but he'd turned the living area into a never ending storage room filled with crates of papers. He'd locked her bedroom from the very first day and had never opened it ever since, it wasn't his territory and even though he'd break into hundreds of houses and stolen uncountable number of things—with Aeolian he had a sense of boundary, he just couldn't cross.

He twisted the door knob, the crows were cawing. "Hello Lin," he said.

Kaz Brekker didn't need to see her to know that she'd returned, as always he felt her presence.

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

🎵🎵🎵

Clear blue water
High tide came and brought you in
And I could go on and on, on and on, and I will
Skies grew darker
Currents swept you out again
And you were just gone and gone, gone and gone
In silent screams
In wildest dreams
I never dreamed of this
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh
Ohh
Oh, oh, oh
Tossing, turning
Struggled through the night with someone new
And I could go on and on, on and on
Lantern, burning
Flickered in the night, only you
But you were still gone, gone, gone
In losing grip
On sinking ships
You showed up just in time
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh
This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh
Your kiss, my cheek
I watched you leave
Your smile, my ghost
I fell to my knees
When you're young, you just run
But you come back to what you need
This love is good
This love is bad
This love is alive back from the dead, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh
This love left a permanent mark
This love is glowing in the dark, oh, oh, oh
These hands had to let it go free, and
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh
This love came back to me, oh, oh, oh

🎵🎵🎵

July. 15. 2022