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🎵🎵🎵

Days pass by and my eyes stay dry, and I think that I'm okay
'Til I find myself in conversation, fading away
The way you smile, the way you walk
The time you took to teach me all that you had taught
Tell me, how am I supposed to move on?
These days I'm becoming everything that I hate
Wishing you were around but now it's too late
My mind is a place that I can't escape your ghost
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away
One more rainy day without you
Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day
One more rainy day
Oh, I'm a wreck without you here
Yeah, I'm a wreck since you've been gone
I've tried to put this all behind me
I think I was wrecked all along
Yeah, I'm a wreck
They say that the time will heal it, the pain will go away
But everything, it reminds me of you and it comes in waves
Way you laugh when your shoulders shook
The time you took to teach me all that you had taught
Tell me, how am I supposed to move on?
These days I'm becoming everything that I hate
Wishing you were around but now it's too late
My mind is a place that I can't escape your ghost
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away
One more rainy day without you
Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day
One more rainy day
Oh, I'm a wreck without you here
Yeah, I'm a wreck since you've been gone
I've tried to put this all behind me
I think I was wrecked all along
These days when I'm on the brink of the edge
Remember the words that you said
Remember the life you led
You'd say, "Oh, suck it all up, don't get stuck in the mud
Thinkin' of things that you should have done"
I'll see you again, my loved one
I'll see you again, my loved one
Yeah, I'm a wreck
I'll see you again, my loved one
Yeah, I'm a wreck without you here (loved one)
Yeah, I'm a wreck since you've been gone (I'm a wreck since you've been gone)
I've tried to put this all behind me
I think I was wrecked all along (I'm a wreck)
Yeah, I'm a wreck
Sometimes I wish that I could wish it all away but I can't
One more rainy day without you (one more rainy day)
Sometimes I wish that I could see you one more day but I can't
One more rainy day

🎵🎵🎵

King Nikolai Lanstov, Grand Duke of Udova, sole sovereign of the great nation of Ravka, and Princess Aeolian Kir-Taban, daughter of heaven, most Ethereal of the Taban Line, would like to welcome all and sundry to the grand celebration of matrimony in the royal chapel of Os Alta.

Ever since he'd read the invitation, he'd not been the same. It was like drowning all over again, but he won't just fucking die.

"Hope is dangerous. It clouds your judgement." He'd told Inej back then—but he'd made the mistake of being hopeful for the very first time in a long time and it shattered him. Kaz had tried everything. Drank, kept busy, schemed, even forced himself to play cards with the pigeons. Anything to make his heart, feel the way it did when it beat next to hers.

Something inside him was hurting—that's why he needed distractions, so that he wouldn't think. One drink became four, and when he'd laid on the floor—he drank more but nothing had changed. He'd learned that: he can drink too much and forget the night before but can never drink enough to forget the people he'd loved and lost.

How stupid of him was it to think that she actually saw something in him?

He'd been miserable, counting the days until the grand wedding. As if he hadn't found anything to kill himself with, so he loved her.

But then the news of the postponement of the wedding broke out. And soon after—the letters from Ravka arrived, he had no intentions to respond. Until, Nikolai Lanstov decided to pen himself and seek him out. They were not friends or accomplice, but they'd helped each other before and if Kaz didn't aid Ravka, Aeolian would've something or the other to say to him. After all, she was all for Grisha.

He didn't know what relationship did Nikolai and Aeolian shared but he could see that it was something fiercer than affection. And even after everything—there was a pathetic side of him that still hope it's him and her in the end.

Maybe that's the reason why he's even willing to help her soon to be husband, Kaz thought grimly as they emerged from the tunnel at Geldstraat.

The Geldstraat was the richest locality in Ketterdam, it's where all the Councilmen and the richest families in Ketterdam resides. The streets in this part of the city were neat and tidy, there were gardens and parks, beautiful mansions. Aeolian had worked here with Councilman Hoede before his tragic incident. And she had lived alongside Jesper and Wylan at the Van Eck's mansion before she left. Now the mansion is renamed after the Hendriks family name.

The last time they were together in Geldstraat. While styling her long luscious hair, Aeolian had said, "do you know before the reign of the Taban queens, Shu Han was ruled by a cruel and incompetent king?"

Kaz shook his head as a no. The Shu princess was like a living breathing library, full of knowledge.

"His many wars had left the ranks of his troops depleted and his country vulnerable. A clockmaker named Kho used every ounce of his skill to help protect the kingdom. He bonded bone to metal, stringing sinew over cogs and created a new army of soldiers." She explained. "These soldiers never tired. They never grew hungry. No wound could break their stride. The battalion marched, laying waste to cities at the king's command. At last, even the king grew tired of conquest and ordered the clockwork troops to halt. They did not. Maybe the soldiers simply didn't care. Or maybe, they could not stop. They had been made for destruction and had no choice but to see it done."

Kaz gazed at her, she smelt like a garden of ylang-ylang and was merrily making tiny roses with her locks, pinning them carefully as she explained to him a tale he'd never heard before. He could watch and listen to her the whole day, and never tire. He has seen in her all the things he love in this world.

"Neyar, a nobleman's daughter vowed to use every bit of her skill to protect her people. She fashioned a blade so sharp it could cut shadow, she whispered prayers over the metal and met the clockwork battalion. For three days and three nights, Neyar fought the unstoppable soldiers." She continued. "After her victory, the king fled the country, and Shu Han has been ruled by queens ever since. The sword was dubbed Neshyenyer, Relentless, it's in the palace of Ahmrat Jen. Its blade has never rusted."

"Impressive," Kaz had said. "So you're going back to claim the sword?"

"No," she turned to him, her beautiful green eyes glimmering like precious stones. "That sword belongs to the people of Shu Han, it's a national treasure, not to be claimed by anyone."

"Hmm," he nodded.

She pinned the last of her stands and said, "but you can visit one day...see the sword for yourself."

He arched a brow. "You really want a thief to be around, a national treasure?"

In a breath, her knife was at his throat. "Like you trust me with a knife near your throat. I trust you, not to steal the national treasure."

Then just like that, the knife disappeared in her sleeves. She'd laughed. Kaz had smiled. She was right; there's only one person Dirtyhands would trust a knife with and it was her and her alone. And as he watched her laugh, he realised he's the one out of breath.

"It's like we're in another country," Zoya's voice brought Kaz back to his senses.

"We're in the favoured neighbourhood of wealthy merchants." Nikolai murmured.

Kaz braced himself as they arrived at the elegant mansion with red tulips painted over the entry. He knew what's coming next and he wasn't ready for it. He rapped twice on the front door with the head of his cane.

Jesper popped his head out. "I'm not supposed to let you in."

Kaz was unperturbed. "Why not?"

"Because every time I do, you ask me to break the law." Jesper huffed.

Wylan said from behind Jesper. "The problem isn't that he asks, you always say yes."

"But look who he brought," Jesper threw open the door with delight. "The man with the flying ships."

Kaz Brekker has sussed out Nikolai's real identity at their first meeting long ago, and Anika had walked into the room while they were having—that conversation. But he hadn't shared this information with the others and Anika had kept it that way as well. The others still believed they were dealing with the legendary Sturmhond.

"You should join up with us sometime." Nikolai said smoothly. "We can always use a sharpshooter abroad."

"Really?" Jesper brows shot up.

"Are you forgetting how much you hate the open sea?" Wylan crossed his arms.

"I'm extremely adaptable," Jesper said.

Wylan frowned. "No wonder Lin left you in Ketterdam lockdown, when she left."

Jesper shot a disbelieving glower at Wylan. "Do you want to blurt out our whole life story to people we barely know?"

When Aeolian was leaving Ketterdam, Jesper wanted to go with her. But the Shu princess had declined, she wanted him to be with Wylan instead of following her across the sea. They knew she didn't want to endanger Jesper's life but Jesper didn't like being left behind on such an adventure, even though he despised the open sea.

Kaz cleared his throat. Every time, he meets these two; Aeolian's name have to come up in a way or the other. Her name is the strongest positive and negative connotation, it either lights him up or leave him aching for days.

Wylan blinked, as if realising they have guests. "Come in." He welcomed them.

They followed Wylan and Jesper across a cluttered parlour. Through the tall windows, Kaz glimpsed at the garden, where Wylan's mother was painting at an easel. Painting was her thing, even back at the asylum she'd painted. When Sakura and Aeolian was staying over with the Hendriks, Sakura would spend most of her time with Marya. Seeing the two ladies together—Kaz would wondered what his own mother was like, he had no memory of her.

Maybe, if she had been alive; even after their father's demise Jordie and Kaz wouldn't have to move to Ketterdam, Jordie would still be alive and they'd still be farm boys. But if life hadn't be cruel, Kaz would've never become the person he was today and he'd have missed the opportunity to meet Aeolian.

Zoya picked up a swatch of fabric. "Is a Fabrikator living here?"

"A friend of ours," Jesper said.

"Has he never been trained?" Zoya asked. "The work seems rudimentary."

Jesper sniffed. "I thought it had a certain rustic elegance."

"No," said Wylan. "He hasn't been trained. He's stubborn that way."

"He gifted Lin a scarf before she left and she adored it." Jesper squinted.

"Because she's kind," Wylan crossed his arms.

"You seems jealous." Jesper muttered.

Kaz rapped his cane on the floor. "Now you know why I don't visit more often."

"No one asked you to visit more often," Jesper crossed his arms. "And after she left, we barely see you..."

"I've more important things to do," Kaz said. "Then loiter around the gardens but I have a job now, that requires both of your skills set."

"Kaz," Wylan said carefully. "We'd prefer not to do anything illegal."

"That's not strictly true," Jesper huffed. "Is it illegal?"

"Highly," nodded Kaz.

"But the pay is excellent." Offered Nikolai.

"We don't need money," Wylan puffed.

"Isn't it glorious?" Jesper sighed happily.

Kaz smoothed a gloved hand over his lapel, looking at no one. "It's for her."

"Why didn't you say so?" Wylan agreed readily without a second thought. "What do you need?"

They would do absolutely anything and everything for Aeolian. That was both a blessing and a curse.

"To break into the base of the Rentveer." Kaz said.

"That shouldn't be a problem," Jesper said. "The security is terrible."

"Brekker led us to believe the job was nearly impossible." Zoya crossed her arms. "He wanted to drive up his rate."

"Thank you, Jesper." Kaz said sourly.

"What can I say?" Jesper shrugged. "I have a naturally honest disposition."

Kaz pulled out a map of the Kerch coastline. "And I have a golden top hat."

Nikolai cleared his throat. "We've an airship docked on Velgeluck, that's equipped with cables and winches, it can manage a big load of the titanium."

Kaz pointed to the map. "The problem is getting inside the base. There's an armed checkpoint and we don't have time to fake credentials."

"Not to mention, we're all extremely recognisable." Wylan puffed.

Kaz lifted a shoulder. "One of the unfortunate side effects of success." He said, "our only way in is to create a distraction and disable the spotlights in the towers. Then we just cut through the fence."

"Sounds like an opportunity to be noisy," said Jesper eagerly.

Kaz gave him a nod and continued, "once we enter, we can locate the titanium and signal our people in the air." He turned to Zoya. "You cover the sound of the airship moving into place."

Zoya nodded and then asked. "How do you know so much about this place?"

"Because he was thinking about stealing the titanium himself." Nikolai grinned.

"Why do you even need it?" Zoya asked surprisingly.

Kaz gaze was cool. "If someone wants it, I can sell it. It's as simple as that."

Kaz was a boy with an unquiet mind, a man in perpetual need of challenge. He'd decided the base was a puzzle and he couldn't resist finding its solution. But from the stories Anika heard about Sturmhond, he has quite the similarities with Kaz. Is that the reason why the Shu princess agreed to be with Nikolai?

Wylan cleared his throat. "What are you going to use the titanium for?"

"Why does it matter?" Nikolai asked.

"Because unlike Kaz, I've a conscience," Wylan murmured.

"I have a conscience," Kaz said. "It just knows when to keep its mouth shut."

Jesper snorted. "Your conscience is gagged and tied to a chair somewhere."

"This is a lot of metal," Wylan said, unwilling to let the subject go. "You're going to use it to build a weapon aren't you?"

Nikolai took a deep breath, reached into his coat pocket and unrolled the sheaf of papers onto the table. David's rocket schematics. "I'm trusting you guys with this because you were her crew, and she spoke highly of each and everyone of you."

"Of course she did," Jesper said proudly.

Zoya huffed a breath of disbelief. Anika had been silent but she was observing each and everyone of them, and one thing is for sure. They all love to bring up the Shu princess every now and then, she'd been a part of their world and her absence was felt.

"Missiles," Wylan murmured. "You need titanium to improve their range."

"And you want to build something bigger." Kaz murmured.

Nikolai looked surprised. "Yes. Maybe."

"This titanium can stop a war," Zoya said. "The bombing at Ravka was a test. It was meant to provoke. If Ravka doesn't respond. The Fjerdan will take over Ravka and every Grisha will be thrown into a cell."

Jesper went to the sideboard and pulled a gun belt from the drawer. He slid his twin pearl-handled revolvers into their holsters. "When do we leave?"

But Wylan looked less sure.

Jesper tapped Wylan's shoulder, "come on merchling, Lin would've readily agreed to help if she was here. She's all for Grisha."

Nikolai and Zoya said in unison, "absolutely!"

Wylan took a deep breath and nodded, he turned his attention back to the schematics. "You can really arm and aim these things?"

"We can. Mostly. Hopefully." Nikolai huffed.

Wylan eyes scanned the schematics for sometime. "The problem is the nozzles," he said as he began to sketch something onto the schematic.

Kaz felt a sudden sharp sting to his heart. It was too easy to imagine Aeolian in this room, she had been a part of him. His better half. If she was here, she'd be batting her thick dark lashes or pulling his leg every now and then. Or maybe, his mind would be jagged seeing her and Nikolai together.

"We should get started," he said briskly. "We have a lot of ground to cover."

The others nodded in agreement.

Kaz sat on the chair, Nikolai was standing besides Wylan focusing on the schematics. If only he had the courage to confront the Ravkan king about the reality of the situation. Villainy was nothing new to him, and even murder was understandable and clear-cut. But love was still a mystery. Maybe, that's the reason why he'd told Nikolai: he'd never heard of the grand wedding. Or maybe, because he knew deep in his bones she deserved someone like Nikolai Lanstov, a true noble like herself.

Kaz mind was in a riot of confusion. She was his angel and his damnation; in her presence he reach divine ecstasy and in her absence he decent to hell.

March 28. 2022.