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Amari's Point of View

A strong mother would slap me down, and place knowledge in my head to stop me from doing this. Unfortunately, I can't build up the courage to tell my mother that her son-in-law has caused us to come to breaking point. Now, he's pleading for me to come back to him.

Maybe if I give him another chance, he would change. The man who has been talking to me and begging me for the past roughly twenty minutes is the man that I let shift my underwear to the side and have sex with me for the first time years ago.
This man is the man that made me stay with him.

"Amari please, mi a talk and yuh nah say nothing," He said.  I continued to stare at the road ahead of us as he drove.

He pulled over the car next to a place where they sell soup, parked. Fish tea was also sold there; I could see the sign. He knows I like soup.

"Babe, please. I miss you, I miss us. I miss coming home to you, seeing you slow dance, I miss having you there. I can't rest in the house without you there, babe."

Mr. Right could say the right things and still be Mr.Wrong.

Holding my hands, he pulls them into his hands. I glanced down at our hands before I looked up at his face.

"Why did you bring me here Cals?" I asked.

"Because I want us to try again. Come home to yuh man, babe."

"I know I fucked up and am sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"Just know am sorry," He said. His tone came out dismissive, and I grabbed my hands out of his.

Di fuck him a seh to mi?

"Wow, you think this some game Cals? Like you ain't go find what the problem is and apologize properly?"

"Babe, please. Let's make a deal, I let the fact that white—" He took deep breaths and breathed. "Him, bring yuh home and just mek we go back normal, please. Look, Amari, Paris needs her parents together," He said.

I turned to look at him and my guard slightly drops.

Maybe he will be better; I believe that people can't truly change; they just bury their real selves, and this is the Cals that I knew.

He leaned over and placed a kiss on my lips and I sat there. I had longed for him to kiss me for months and properly fuck me, but I have yet to experience that magical experience we normally have.

He kisses me, and even though it feels good, it feels like my body is missing something.

"We can't, Cals we are in public."

"In a car that they can't see in, babe. I have a patient to attend to at three," He glances at his watch, and I frown. "Babe, I will make it up to I promise I'll give you the car to come back, I'll call you, and you come and pick me up later. Is that okay?" He asked, and I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips.

"Okay." I smiled softly at him.

"Now mek mi go run go buy di disgusting fish tea weh yuh like, come here," He pulls me by my hands and gives me a few quick kisses.

He hops out and closes the door behind him. I watched him walk up to the entrance of the building, and I have to admit that I felt good.

Maybe him ago change

I smiled and looked down at my fingers, turning on the radio, it's like the universe started playing with me. NF 'If you want love,' playing.

"I've always tried to control things; in the end, that's what controls me, maybe that's why I'm controlling; I wish somebody would have told me that if you want love, you have to go through the pain." I sing it softly and wipe the tears that fell from eyes.

Continuing to look, I could see his back and memories flooded my brain.

Please make it work

I have been trying for so damn long

But I gotta do this for my baby

Gotta do this for Paris

"Talking to the voices in my head, they make me think twice, telling me it doesn't means its wrong because it feels right, scared that one day I'll wake up and—" Unable to hold it in anymore, I lean my head down in my lap and cried.

My mom should have told me it was this hard to be in a relationship.
If it was this hard to want someone to love me, especially now that I have a child.  If I knew he was the one who was at the door, I would have bought my phone to distract myself.

Leaning up, I powered off the radio and wiped my tears with wipes I found in his glove compartment. I could see him coming, and I squared my shoulders and held my head high, forcing a smile on my face, leaned across, and opened the door for him.

Zendi's point of view

Pulling up on the curb, I parked the car and got out. It's been almost two years since I've been to Tivoli's Garden. I don't know why Nico didn't stay at the hotel; for some stupid reason of his, he came back to the place where death walks and breathes.

I spot him at the gate, waiting on me, his muscles and arms folded across his chest.

I walked up to him, and he playfully pulled at my locs.

"Aye, I will fuck you up in this bitch," But he uses his muscles to an advantage and cuffs me around the neck.

"Nico sun a bun mi, yuh win."

"Who yuh ago fuck up?"

"Nobody." I whine.

He laughed and let me go, and I slapped him across the head and ran inside.

"Bloodclaat. Zendi, yuh lucky mi love yuh ino, sis."

I laughed out and walked up into his house. I entered the kitchen and opened the fridge.

Nico and I have been the closest siblings. He protects me at all costs. We have been like two peas in a pod despite the distance.  Sometimes he's too protective but at least I know he cares. He has seen me at my weakest and even when am angry.

A room door and I swirl around from the fridge.

"Yuh a loose off a di game, man, yuh nah watch yuh back?" A familiar voice said, and I closed the fridge door, removing the water. All the hair on my skin stood tall.

"Wey mi Fi watch mi back round Nico fah? Eh, pussy?" I recognized the deepest depth of me creeping out as I stared at his face.

"Sparrow, nuh pay har no mind, a mi and you a do business."

We did an eye standoff for a moment before he cleared his throat.

Sparrow and I never get along, and it's been years. I just don't like any cells in him, but I've learned that if I don't control my emotions, my emotions control me. I scratch behind my neck as the anger nerve thicks inside me.

"A him find such bwoy a get wey ina Princess street, calm C, sis Calm C. Yuh know yuh need orda doh sis? Nuh bi bull ina Rage."

Nico pulls a stool and sits down around the kitchen counter; he leans his head to the side, mentioning Sparrow to leave us.

"Whatchu, you still doing with that motherfucker? " I asked him, opening the bottle and drinking it.

"Yuh hafi lego off a di bitterness yuh have with Sparrow, e man loyal to mi, sis."

I kept quiet and hummed.

"By the way why yuh so tense? "

"I saw them when I was coming here," I said, never thought I'd see them again. I normally get cocaine from them. It's been six months since I got back from rehab and I haven't seen them since I got back.

"I don't want you going down that road again, yuh yer mi a tell yuh?" He asked. "If yuh know weh good fi yuh, stay weh from Dem man dey Zendi, mi nuh wah yuh get hunt by police again. By di way weh Dem a do so near you?"

"Me? No, I ain't doing nothing wrong yet, weh di Bwoy deh?" I placed down the water bottle and the darkness of my mind surfaces.

"Forwud," Nico, got up from around the counter and I followed him.

We entered a bedroom and Kajan was hanging from the ceiling by his arms. His mouth was gagged. He stood on tiptoes, and sweat burst down his body, his feet couldn't touch the floor. He was stripped of his shirt, and he wore black jeans. The sight of him fuels my anger.
A wound was on his shoulders, the spot where Brianna stabs him, in the center of his shoulder.

She ain't even stabbed him properly

"A dig mi Fi dig out yuh heart into," I whispered. "Pull him down," I muttered.

Nico went over to him and lost him, tying him to a chair and handcuffing his hands behind him.

"Leave use." I said.

The door was closed and I kept my eyes on him. He shook his from side to side and I smirked.

Taking up a knife from nearby, I tested the blade on my fingers.

"Sharp, what should I do with you now manye?" It feels good being in his presence and I trailed the knife across his chest.

"Let me reintroduce myself, I am your nightmare, and you fucked up my friend, mother fucker; you fucked up a woman I care for. What should I do with you? Put a hole in your head like bacon? Or should I slice yuh hood off and feed yuh? I hate to see a grown man scream."

"Shut di fuck up." I sliced him across the face and slapped him hard.

"Zendi, gwaan out, yuh cah kill him, Yuh nuh ready Fi live wid dat. Yuh cah bare Fi live with dat Zendi."

I didn't even know Nico was back in the room.

"So how you live wid it eh? You think is because me is a woman, I can't? I will blow his brains out; I will re-arrange the mother fucker face."

"Zendi—" He grabs at me and lifts me, but I twist him and shove him down. Back outside, I wasn't serious and now I am. I don't want to break his arm and tell him sorry, but I might, if he keeps testing me.

"Zendi, calm down,"  He got up and grabbed at my arm, holding my two arms, but I gave him a head hit.
"Bloodclaat, Zenora."

"Nuh fucking call mi suh a  Bloodclaat, di Zenora weh get rape fucking dead!"

"That's why I killed him! Mi cah mek yuh tek a fucking life, understand nuh!"

He killed him, but that memory haunts me. I am a monster because of that. My stepfather raped me countless times, and even though he's dead, I am who I am and there's no turning back.

How mi Fi mek di pussyhole breathe? Him hurt Brianna and him still a breathe?

I grabbed the gun from behind Nico's back and before he could stop me, I pulled the trigger. "Dis a Fi Brianna."
A second shot came out and hit his lungs.
The gun's shot came out loud, Blood flew from his chest, and his body slumped on the chair.
_______________________________________

Thoughts? Let me hear yours.

Suh Amari went back gah deh with the narcissist???? SMH
Life is something.

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