Chapter 43

What is the most heartwarming feeling? It's when you offered your hand with your heart.

"I got him!" I shouted with joy and tears.

Lahat ng mga kalalakihang kasama ko ay nagsigawan sa kaalamang hawak ko na ang bata.

With my left arm, I supported Aaroon to transfer him to the lifeguard. We should pass him to each other until he'll finally reach the safest place, those with ropes tied with life buoys.

Mahigpit ang yakap nito sa akin habang tinatawag ang kanyang ama. He wanted to come back and to embrace his father again, but I tried to hush him.

"Papa!"

May sinabing muli ang kanyang ama na hindi ko naintindihan pero ito ang nakapagpatigil kay Aaroon sa pag-iyak.

We should do this quickly, dahil hindi na maganda ang lagay ng punong kinakapitan ng kanyang ama.

"Come on Aaroon, you let them support you. We'll survive together with your father."

"Promise?"

"Yes.." unti-unti ko na siyang inaabot sa lifeguard.

"Careful please," bulong ko sa lifeguard.

"Take care of him!" sigaw kong muli bago ako humarap sa ama ni Aaroon.

I extended my arm to reach him, pero hindi na katulad nang kanina na mas malapit pa. We're getting farther!

"Papa!" sigaw ni Aaroon.

My heart aches when our hands didn't even touch.

"Please, please grab my hand. Grab my hand please, I promised to your son. You promised to your son." Halos magmakaawa ako sa lalaki para pilit nitong abutin ang kamay ko.

Katulad ko ay hindi rin ito sumusuko ko, we are both trying our best to reach each other's hand.

Halos marami na akong nainom na tubig para lamang maghawak ang kamay. The waves are getting wilder, the current are starting to speed up and the result is getting nearer.

Alam ko na ang posibleng sundan nito. I need to grab him, as soon as possible.

I can't force the forty-seven people to extend more, they're struggling with the waves, loosing grips of our hand while supporting Aaroon's transfer.

We need to wait for fifteen minutes or more for the rescuers, it will be hard for them to locate us. Everything was washed out and places are unidentified.

"Brave lady.." ramdam kong nahihirapan na rin ang lifeguard na may hawak sa akin. Unti-unti nang dumadaosdos ang kamay namin sa isa't-isa.

Magtangka pa akong mas lumapit at pilit abutin ang kamay ng ama ni Aaron ay mabibitawan na ako ng lifeguard.

"No!" muling sigaw ko nang papalubog na ang punong hawak ng ama ni Aaron.

"J-Just throw yourself here with your force, try to push yourself through your feet. I'll catch you, we'll catch you." Hindi ko alam kung naiintindihan niya ba ang sinasabi ko.

"Please.."

The lifeguard translated my words for him, while all I did was to stare at the tree still with my extended arms.

"I'll count in three..two—" hindi pa man ako tapos sa aking bilang ay muling nagdilim ang kalangitan.

"One!"

The father followed my instruction, but before our hands met another tsunami landed on us.

Muling nalubog sa nagwawalang tubig ang katawan ko, tumama sa kung ano-anong matigas na bagay at umikot na parang walang katapusan.

Sa kabila ng hapdi at bugbog sa katawan ay pinilit ko pa rin umahon para makakuha ng hangin. Mabilis gumala ang aking mga mata.

Where are they?

Buong akala ko ay makakayanan kong labanan ang malalaking alon pero bigla na lamang nagmanhid ang binti ko.

Lumubog ang katawan ko, malulunod ako!

I struggled against the water trying to move my legs, but they are not cooperating anymore. Buong akala ko ay tuluyan na akong lalamunin ng tubig nang may mga brasong nagligtas sa akin.

It was the lifeguard.

"Where's the father?" Hindi ito nakasagot sa akin.

"Where's the father?"

Hindi pa rin ito sumagot, dinala ako nito sa may tali at pinahawak niya ako rito. I heard Aaroon's voice crying for his father, my eyes wandered around and counted the people looking at me.

"Where are the others?"

"I said! Where are the others?!"

Isa-isa silang umiling sa akin. From fifty five down to forty seven, now it's only thirty eight.

"We did fight brave lady but this is disaster.." mahinang sabi ng isa sa kanila.

"The lifejackets and lifebouys are not enough to save us all."

Hindi na ako muling nagsalita at tahimik na lamang akong humawak sa tali. I can't even look to Aaroon, I promised but I failed.

Nang makarinig kami ng tunog ng bangka, nagsimula nang pumito ang mga kasamahan ko. I can even hear choppers.

Nabuhayan silang lahat ng loob habang ako ay nanatili lamang tahimik. Hindi pa man nakakarating ang bangka na naririnig namin ay may narinig pa kaming isang sasakyan.

That's a speed boat.

"Behati! Behati! Behati!" I heard Pedro's voice.

Nang makita niya ako ay agad niyang itinigil ang speed boat at tumalon ito sa tubig para lapitan ako.

I didn't move until he showed his face coming out from the muddy water. He cupped my face but I refused to look at his eyes.

"Behati..god baby.."

"I-I failed.." mahinang sabi ko. "I-I failed..Peter..I failed to save them all.."

"Y-You what?"

"I failed..abot kamay ko na siya. Abot kamay ko na ang tatay ni Aaroon, I-I killed his father. I didn't save those people.."

"B-Behati.."

"I-I failed..I-I failed Peter..I- fail--" hindi ko na nagawang ituloy pa ang sasabihin ko.

I felt numb and everything turns black.

Nagising lamang ako dahil sa sakit ng hita ko, I tried to move but it gave me a torturing pain.

Huli ko na lamang nalaman na may nakahawak sa aking kamay.

"Pedro.."

"How are you? Sorry I was late, I tried to come back.." ilang beses nitong hinalikan ang kamay ko.

Nasa loob kami ng tent, nasa lupa na kami.

Inalalayan niya akong umupo, hindi ako makapagsalita, hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko.

"I failed Pedro.."

"Stop saying that baby, all of them were thankful to you. Walang matitira kahit isa sa kanila kung hindi ka nagpaiwan at kung hindi mo sila ginabayan. You were never been a failure. Never baby, please stop saying that." Naupo ito sa tabi ko at hinalikan niya ang noo ko.

"Abot kamay ko na ang tatay ni Aaroon.."

"Stop blaming yourself baby. Please, you're making yourself depressed. You saved the kid, you saved them all and you motivated them to fight. There was no failure. You are not a failure." Nagsimula akong bumaba sa folding bed.

"Where are you going? You need to rest." Pansin ko na pumasok na sa tent si Alys.

"We need to go, Pedro. We need to come back now, we report this incident, we need to know the real situation."

"What? Can't you see your leg? You can't walk now baby.." nahihirapang sabi nito.

Hinawakan niya ang mga braso ko pero agad ko rin itong tinanggal.

"If you want to stay here Pedro, then I'll go alone."

"Baby please, I won't let you."

"Alys, please help me. Hindi ako maintindihan ni Pedro." Ramdam ko ang pagluwag ng hawak niya sa akin.

"Peter, let me.." pakinig kong sabi ng pinsan ko.

Nang ibababa ko na ang isa kong binti ay halos magpanting ang buong mukha ko nang may malakas na sampal na tumama sa pisngi ko.

Napahawak ako rito sa aking nangangatal na kamay habang unti-unting sinasalubong ang mata ng pinsan ko.

"Wake up Behati! Hindi lahat kaya mong iligtas! My god naman! Can't you look at yourself? Papatayin mo ba ang sarili mo? Wake up Behati! Yes you can save thousands of lives but not all cousin, not all. Hindi sa lahat ng pagkakataon ay abot ng kamay mo ang sitwasyon, kahit gaano ka pa kagaling! Kahit gaano ka pa katapang!" sigaw nito sa akin.

"Yes, I can understand you. You are frustrated from the past, dama kita. Damang dama kita Behati, nandon ako, nandoon tayong dalawa na tanging pag-iyak lang ang nagawa. Mata natin ang saksi, puso natin ang inatake at ngayon tumutulong ka. Bagay na hindi mo nagawa noon, pero may mali! May malaking mali sa'yo Behati. Ang tanging nakikita mo lang 'yong mga taong hindi mo natutulungan. You are counting the deaths rather than those lives you saved!"

"Hindi mo nakikita ang libong taong natutulungan mo, ikinukulong mo ang sarili mo sa mga taong nawala. You refused praises which you deserved, bagay na dapat tinatanggap mo para mabawasan ang bigat dyan sa dibdib mo. You try to look from the bright side Behati, huwag mong balutin ang sarili mo sa mga taong nawala. It wasn't your fault, you fight for them, you never turned your back and you did your best. You're a savior and not a killer."

Naupo na ito sa tabi ko at hinaplos nito ang pisngi ko. Nanatili akong tulala.

"You know, I was the happiest when I heard that you have your Peter. Natuwa ako Behati na may lalaking naglakas loob lumapit sa'yo sa kabila ng paniniwala mo, sa kabila ng pinaglalaban mo. It's hard to love a woman who's devoted to save lives, it's hard to love a woman who's more willing to die for the others. It's hard to love a woman who wasn't used to accept praises. It's hard to love a woman with a coldest heart, cousin. But he took the risk for you. Don't push him away. You take a rest, you're not leaving. I'm sorry." Hinalikan ni Alys ang pisngi ko.

Tumango lamang ito kay Pedro at iniwan niya kaming dalawa sa tent.

Ilang minuto kaming tahimik ni Pedro, hindi ko magawang magsalita. Ito ang unang beses na sinampal ako ng pinsan ko.

"D-Did I hurt you, Pedro?" I asked him hesitantly.

"A lot of times?"

"W-What?" nang lumingon ako ay ilang beses itong tumango sa akin.

"I'm sorry.."

"Apology accepted,"

"That's it?"

"Yes, because I love you. How's your face baby?" he moved closer.

"Masakit?" he whispered while caressing my face. His blue eyes are full of tenderness, love and concern.

"My leg hurts like hell.."

"And you tried to move, stubborn Lieutenant."

Buong akala ko ay ibabalik niya ako sa pagkakahiga nang maramdaman ko na lamang na nasa kandungan niya ako.

"Now promise me baby, you'll stop counting the deaths instead look for your endless success. Look at the bright side and don't bury yourself to the dark side. Lastly, love me Behati, being unloved by you is my greatest disaster."

I didn't answer him, instead I snaked my arms around his nape, I closed my eyes and I landed my lips with his.

"I love you Pedro and I'm sorry..." he grinned before kissing me again.

"You should spoil me Behati before we return to UASA and act as the ex-couple." He played his nose on my cheeks.

"How?" I asked him.

"Lick, bite and kiss?" nakakailang halik na ito sa akin.

"Alright, I'll buy you ice cream." He chuckled.

"I love you, Lieutenant.."

--

VentreCanard