Later that afternoon

Y/n PoV

I fix my uniform neat. My shift starts at 8:00pm but I've been asked to come in early and help clean the bar at the club.

Picking up my hair brush I fix my hair, a light smile on my face as I think about today. It definitely wasn't perfect. In fact Jungkook seemed to really despise the beach. But being together felt nice, made me realise just how much I'd missed his presence.

"Y/n." I hear the boy call from outside.

"Come in."

Entering my room Jungkook holds an awkward stance. I proceed to placing my earrings in. "Everything good?" 

"That depends. Are you gonna move back into our room?"

I pause. Wow. Hearing him refer to it as our room shouldn't make me all warm and fuzzy but it does.

"I'd like that."

"Good." He continues to stand there awkwardly. This really isn't like him and I'm wondering whether it has anything to do with the fact that he's experiencing real human emotion now. Normally he has such an intimidating presence.

"When will you be back from wor?" He asks.

"Same time as usual. Jin is working late so you have the house to yourself, what will you do?"

He just shrugs before taking a seat on the bed. Watching me.

I continue to get ready, but the thought of him just staring at me sends butterflies to my tummy.

"Why have your cheeks gone red—."

"What?! They haven't!" I cup my face, shocked by the feel of feverish skin. "Erm can you leave please?"

He continues to stare at me through the mirror.
"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Something's wrong—."

"Nothings wrong."

He stands up. Oh fuck he's walking towards me.

"You sure? Because you seem...nervous?"

"And the basics of human emotion may confuse me. But if there's one thing that makes sense to me; it's seducing women."

His hands slide onto my hips.

"Would you want me to try with you?"

Sweet baby Jesus go back to being shy and awkward!

He turns me around to witness the shade of  read spreading across my hot cheeks. My chest starts to feel tight and as I go to speak I notice the words becoming lodged in my throat.

"There was this one girl who used to take care of me when I first arrived at that prison. She looked like you almost, but her hair wasn't as long."
He says with a lock of mine now pinched between his fingers. "She was just as smart too. And cool, had interesting tattoos, especially on her lower back."

I gulp. I know he's had sex with a lot of girls, but hearing it still causes my heart to twinge.

"She knew her stuff too. How to make me hard within seconds. And when we fucked it was pretty great, our bodies just went so well together."

"But she was just another fuck?" I ask, a tone of jealousy lingering in my voice.

"Just another fuck." He assures me. "And so were the rest. I don't even remember that girls name, just her tattoos. Every girl they've brought in to try and get through to me; never made an imprint on my mind."

"But when you left me Y/n. When I was fed the lie of your death, your name continued to play through my mind every day."

"Everything felt wrong when you were absent. My skin itched and I felt irritated by everything. I craved your presence."

"I wanted you so badly that I debated ditching the rules of consent. That's how sick and twisted I am. I wanted you so badly that at times all I could think about was pressing your naked body against those bars and fucking you till your moans echoed throughout the halls."

"J-Jungkook—."

"But now." He interrupts, exhaling a breath of frustration before stepping back. "Now you've messed with my head again. Because despite me still wanting nothing more then slam you against that wall and make you scream in pure pleasure I can't." His breath has become deep and hoarse, so sexual that I find my body trembling slightly.

"W-why?" I stutter. "Why can't you do that?"

"Because I know you'll regret it." He looks at me with sincerity. "And I care about you too much now to be the cause of your regret."

Later at night

I've been working for 2 hours now and I can't get Jungkooks words out of my head.

There are days when all I can think about is us being intimate.

I've dreamt about it before.

I've played scenarios in my head.

But we want each other in different ways. We'll always want different things. How could it possibly make sense enough to happen.

"Can a girl get a drink over here????"

"Kirsten?" I look over at my friend in shock.

"In the flesh." She smiles before tapping her empty gin glass. "I'll take a double please."

"What are you doing here?? This isn't really your scene."

"Wow that's one way to greet your friend."

"S-sorry I'm just shocked to see you." I say before making the girl her drink.

"So how've you been? Still hot for your little schizo boy?" She smirks.

I bite down on my tongue so hard I'm surprised I can't taste blood. "No. I haven't seen him since he escaped."

"Well you're better off really. Sounds like a nut case—."

"He isn't well." I interrupt before handing her drink to her. "That'll be $7.50"

"Oo have I touched a nerve?" She looks at me with fake guilt. "Sorry bubs I know you have this whole mentally Ill people are still people thing going on."

"Okay doing this—." I imitate her finger quote gestures. "Is more offensive then what you just said. And it's not a thing. It's common sense because it's true, a mental illness shouldn't be a factor of abnormality."

"Boo you're seriously bumming me out and I came here for some fun. Is this about your dads depression? Because I wasn't on about him, I'm depressed too most of the time so I know how it feels—."

"Don't compare yourself to my father. Ever."

"There's no need to be defensive—."

"Ever." I pick up a cloth and walk away, doing anything to distract myself from the anger boiling inside of me.

2:30am

When I step into the bedroom, I'm surprised to see my things back in here.

Guess Jungkook wasted no time in moving them.

I look over at him, happy to see him sleeping peacefully. These past few nights I'd hear him get up to go to the bathroom or downstairs when he couldn't drift off. I always had to fight the urge from going to see him, which wasn't without difficulty.

I sit down on the bed, my fingers finding themselves combing through his silky black hair.
He's shirtless, the duvet barely covering over the smooth skin of his shoulders. It's then that I notice him sweating slightly, his eyes twitching every few seconds. I hear him softly murmur in discomfort, his face now scrunching ever so slightly.

Rather than waking him, I hurry to slip myself under the duvet with him, resting my face before his. "Shhhh." I softly whisper whilst stroking his nose with the tip of my finger, a trick my father used to do with me when I was scared or crying.

I watch as his twitching eases, those once fluttering eyelashes coming to a slow stop.

I could honestly stay like this forever and just watch him dream. There's something really captivating about Jungkook, you can't help but admire him, long to be close to him.

It's a shame his beauty has brought him so much unwanted attention in the past. Like a self sabotage that's out of his control.

He was just a kid. An innocent little kid and yet they ruined him.

"Sweet dreams my darling." I sniffle, a tear now rolling down my cheek. "I'll be here when you wake up."

Next Morning

Y/n PoV

"So where is he now?" Jin asks before sipping his morning coffee.

"In the shower."

"Again? I swear that boy has used that shower more than me and Jisoo combined."

I smile before taking the males plate to the sink to wash. I've taken it upon myself to cook him breakfast almost every morning before work. It started when I noticed him nibbling on a burnt piece of toast or a mushy bowl of cereal, which isn't right for a working man.

"I'll be out most of the afternoon today. I'm visiting Jisoo again to take Nini to the park."

"Aww well I hope you have fun."

"Thanks. And by the way, Namjoon will be coming round tomorrow night with his legal partner to discuss further details on Jungkooks case. I'll be at work but will you be alright managing it on your own?"

"Course." I say with full confidence, but I'm actually a little nervous. The deeper we get into the legal parts, the more I'm realising just how difficult the journey to Jungkooks freedom will become.

20 minutes later

After Jin left I headed upstairs to the bedroom, of course knocking before I enter. When hearing no response I push the door open but freeze the second I see Jungkook.

In a towel...

And nothing else.

Oh boy.

He looks at me. "Problem?" He asks.

Persing my lips shut I shake my head.

He proceeds to spraying his body with cologne which doesn't help with my current state. Throwing a sexy fragrance into the mix is just asking for me to faint.

"Erm. Kooks, I wanted to ask you something."

"Well ask then."

"Last night." I breathe out. "You were having a nightmare when I came in...and I just wondered whether it was about—."

"It wasn't about him." He cuts me off.

"Oh. Then..." I wait for him to speak, but he remains quiet and sits at the foot of the bed.

"If it's too horrid then you don't have to tell me but I'd appreciate you trying. I am your psychiatrist after all." I try to joke, but my smile fades when I see him unamused.

"You know. I'm always telling you what's going on in my head. Can we swap roles for once?"

"You know I'll tell you anything." I go to stand before him. "All you have to do is ask me Jungkook."

He looks up at me.

"What do you wanna know?" I ask.

"Why were you so upset when you came in last night?"

At his words my brows furrow in confusion. "Last night? You were asleep when I came in last night."

"But when I woke up this morning I saw you still in your waitress uniform. Which means something upset you before hand."

"You got all that from my choice of sleep wear?" I laugh in shock. "Jungkook your mind amazes me sometime—."

"What upset you?" He cuts me off.

Sighing I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. Wow. It's weird this whole role reversal thing.

"I ran into my old roomate."

"She's what you'd call a handful. Brought up my dad which touched a nerve."

"I see." He speaks.

"And she also mentioned you."

His face changes at that part.

"She tried to find humour in your illness and it infuriated me. It infuriates me when anyone tries to joke about something like that. Like it's okay for them to joke about a serious subject but when a mentally ill person wants a second chance at normality it's disgusting? Suddenly they're too fragile for such experiences?" I laugh at the thought before looking down. "Sometimes I wonder how I put up with her for so long."

"You care a lot about your work." Jungkook speaks whilst taking hold of my hand. "It's refreshing to hear how much hope you have in me. It gives me courage in a way, knowing you believe that I can be normal again."

I squeeze his hand tight before crouching down onto my knees, now eye to eye with him. "Okay, now your turn. What was your nightmare about?"

"An unthinkable thought." He answers but I'm not gonna accept that.

"Which was?"

"Your death."

"...k-kooks." I feel my heart ache from his expression. "Why would you even stress yourself out with such a thought. I'm still here with you and I'm not going anywhere."

"But you could easily leave me Y/n."

"Not without difficulty." I argue, and our eyes lock in an intense gaze, our faces much closer than before. Jungkook steals a glance at my lips, and I do the same, slowly inching closer to him until I feel his breath on my skin.

"I shouldn't kiss you." I whisper.

Gently he brushes his nose against mine. "Why ever not?" He breathes out.

I smile and bite my lip.

"Nuisance I suggest you answer me before I become frantic."

A giggle slips out. "Jeon Jungkook I'm the one who should be frantic, especially when you're the one in just a towel."

With both hands he cups my face, and his lips brush against mine for a second. I can tell he's stopping himself from gripping too hard, gentleness is still a challenge for him.

A last, I close the space between us. His hands intermingle with my hair and I feel all the nerves in my body zap to life.

Slowly he slides his tongue into my mouth, a hum of pleasure escaping from me as I climb to straddle his lap.

I feel him flinch slightly, his hands loosening on my face but I force them back on.

Jungkook PoV

Something about her being on top of me has my stomach knotting. My mind can't help but go back to the past.

They'd always pin me down.

Always. Never giving me the chance to move even when I was crying in pain.

They're bodies were much heavier than mine, I was so helpless.

I try to push those thoughts out and focus on
Y/n. Focus on her smell, her touch her kisses. I want to be normal with her, I wanna enjoy this for once.

She pushes herself against me, her chest hitting mine as she wraps her arms around me. I panic at that point, my lips pausing from movement which sends her to stop too.

She looks at me, wiping her lip and blushing.

"I'm sorry." She looks at me guiltily.

I can't say anything, I'm too angry with myself for letting my head get in the way again.

"Talk to me." She says.

"You shouldn't have gotten on top."

"O-oh."

"Things won't ever work between us unless I'm in control Y/n. Can you accept that?"

"I—."

"Why bother answering when we both know you can't." I look at her annoyed. "It infuriates me how strong you are, mentally. Those other girls were so easy to manipulate and use, I could have them how and whenever I wanted."

"Are you saying you'd want me to be like them?" She asks, and I can hear in her voice how offended she is.

"No. I'm not saying that at all."

"I just wish... I could be more like the version of myself you love so much."