Chapter 11: Familiar

Everything was just a delusion. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako nahulog sa panlilinlang ni Brienne o kung ilang oras akong nakakulong sa loob, pero ramdam ko ang sobrang panghihina ng katawan ngayong nasa huwisyo na ako.

I was too exhausted, and maybe even too overwhelmed, to talk to Brienne. So I did nothing but stare at her for a couple of minutes. She tried to explain to me what really happened and the purpose of that. However, my mind was still somehow stuck in the haze of delusion. I couldn't understand a thing.

"You should take some rest for now," she sniffed, and I noticed how unusually red her nose was. As if she cried.

I heard someone grunt. Mula sa lapag ng kama ay bumangon si Callum na nag-inat pa ng katawan. Saka ko lang napagtanto na nakahiga ako sa kama at wala sa kwarto ko.

"I think I had a dream after a long time." Callum frowned while shaking his head. "Minsan na nga lang ako managinip tapos bibitayin pa ako."

Katulad ko ay parang wala pa rin siya sa sarili. Nung mapatingin siya sa akin ay natikom ang kanyang nakaawang na mga labi. Nagpalipat-lipat sa aming dalawa ni Brienne ang kanyang nalilitong mga mata.

"Nananaginip pa rin ba ako?" tanong niya na may kaunting sindak. He took a few steps backward as terror began to cross his face. "Shit. I think I am still dreaming."

Lumabas ng silid si Brienne. Nanatili akong nakahiga at tila hindi maigalaw ang katawan. Si Callum naman ay nakatayo at sinasampal ang sarili.

"I don't want to dream anymore. Wake up. Wake up!"

Bahagyang lumakas ang sampal niya sa sarili habang pilit na ginigising ang sarili. "Get me out of here!"

"You are not dreaming anymore, Mr. Callum Valencia."

I though what I had said could ease his worries, but he just got even more frantic. Tumalon siya sa kama at hinawakan ang dalawa kong mga balikat. Madiin niya akong tinitigan sa mga mata.

"Why did you betray me?" he asked.

He moved his face even closer to mine. He was too close that I could see the veins bulging around his neck and crawling up to the temples of his furious face. I've never seen his eyes this intense before.

"Why do you betray everyone?" he questioned again as his fangs protruded behind his lips.

He squeezed my shoulders, and I could feel his sharp nails slowly penetrating my skin. It should have hurt me, but I couldn't feel anything. It felt like I was paralyzed.

"Am I still dreaming?" he asked.

So I was not alone in the haze of delusion all this time. Callum was there as well. He knew everything that had occurred, and I couldn't bring myself to blame him for loathing me this much.

Biglang nawala sa ibabaw ko si Callum. Tumalsik siya sa pader. Dumikit ang katawan niya roon habang ang mga kamay ay nakataas. There was a strong force holding him against the wall.

"Your dream is not real," stated Brienne, who had just returned. Nung binaba niya ang kanyang isang kamay ay bumagsak sa sahig si Callum.

"Fuck!" Callum growled.

"You need to drink this." Inabutan ako ni Brienne ng isang baso na may inumin. Nagawa kong makaupo para tanggapin 'yon. Nung malanghap ang sariwang dugo roon ay hindi ako nagdalawang-isip na simutin 'yon.

In my peripheral vision, I saw Brienne approach Callum. Yumuko siya para bigyan din ito ng inumin. "Drink this. It will help you regain your strength."

"Regain my strength?" he asked, perplexed.

After I had finished my drink, I roamed my eyes around the room. Hindi ko alam kung panaginip lang ba talaga ang lahat dahil narito kami sa Home of Aristotles. If everything was just a delusion, how did I end up here?

"Can I trust you this time?" nag-aalalang tanong ni Callum kay Brienne. He was gripping the glass so tight that it would break any moment. "What if may hinalo ka na naman sa inumin na 'to?"

"There's nothing in it, Callum. It's safe," I confirmed it.

Callum gave a slight nod, but he did not take a sip of it.

"Wait. It's real, right?" I asked. "Totoong ginaya mo si Callum para sunduin ako. The delusion started after I regained consciousness and found myself lying in this bed with Callum."

Totoong siya ang sumundo sa akin para pumunta rito. Iyon din malamang ang dahilan kaya may nararamdaman akong sakit sa likod. Winasiwas niya ako sa hangin bago binagsak sa lupa.

"No, shit." Nilapag ni Callum ang inumin na tila natakot na naman. He hugged both of his legs and shook his head. "I'm not drinking anything you offer again."

I looked at Callum. Nagkatitigan kami at tila nakaramdam ng hiya sa isa't isa. Sabay kaming umiwas ng tingin. Napatikhim ako.

I cleared my throat. "I have to head back right now."

"Hindi pa puwede," pigil ni Brienne. Umupo siya sa bandang paanan ko sa kama saka tumingin sa akin. "You have already started the process. We cannot lose the momentum."

Napansin kong minamasahe niya ang kanyang kamay. Kumunot ang noo ko nung mapansin ang bahagyang pangingitim ng mga 'yon. Maagap niya tinago sa likod ang mga kamay nung mapansin na doon ako nakatingin.

"I will leave you two for now. Take some rest," saka na siya lumabas ng silid.

Naiwan kaming dalawa ni Callum na walang imik. Nakatingin ako sa ibang direksyon at gano'n din siya. I felt him move and sat down on the bed, still facing on the different direction.

"Did we dream about the same thing?" he asked.

Tumikhim ako ulit. "Parang gano'n na nga..."

"It felt so real..." he mumbled. "Except that I wouldn't give up my life merely to save you." Saka siya bumaling sa akin. Tila nandidiri siya. "Iyon lang ang hindi totoo. I would have told them the truth."

"I did tell them the truth," I said.

"You didn't," he insisted. "Sumama ka kay Lord Wenson at hindi na lumingon pa."

I did. But I think it was already too late. He was already dead when I spilled it. Pero siguro ay tama siya. Hindi ko sinabi ang totoo nang mas maaga.

He let out a sigh before leaning his back on the mattress. Ginawa niyang unan ang mga braso habang nakatingin sa itaas. Umiwas ako ng tingin nung biglang bumalik ang mga imahe sa panaginip ko, ang wala niyang buhay na katawan.

"I don't understand," he mumbled. "Bakit kailangan mong makita ang mga bagay na 'yon para lang makausap si Celeste? I don't see the connection."

I do. Just like what Brienne had initially told me, I had to go through phases of grief just to talk to her again. This indicates that we are just getting started.

There's more.

"Wait." Kumunot ang noo ko saka tumingin kay Callum na nakapikit. "Are you really hitting on Brienne?"

Napamulat ng mga mata si Callum. "What?"

"If everything was real and when you thought I was Brienne, ibig sabihin no'n na 'yung mga sinabi at ginawa mo sa akin ay sinabi mo rin sa kanya!"

Humalakhak si Callum at hindi ito tinanggi. Sinipa ko siya kaya nahulog siya sa kama.

"Shit!" nakasimangot na bumangon siya. "Why can't I stay in bed for too long?"

"Ang sabi ko ay bantayan mo siya at hindi landiin!"

"I wasn't flirting with her!" he scowled and sat back in the bed. Hinimas niya ang kaliwang braso na siya unang tumama sa sahig dahil sa pagkahulog. "Saka hindi naman ako seryoso!"

"How come she fooled you so easily?"

I would not fall into her ruse if it were not because he got fooled first.

"I should be saying the same thing. Gano'n ba kababaw ang pagkakakilala mo sa akin para maniwala ka sa kanya?" He stared at me with a disheartened expression.

"Well..." Napakamot ako sa batok. "Ilang beses ko nang sinabi sa 'yo na hindi ako si Brienne. You didn't even believe me!"

Mula sa pagkakahiga ay umupo si Callum. Sa mukha niya pa lang ay mukhang may sasabihin siyang hindi ko magugustuhan. Lalo na nung ngumiti pa siya.

"Inamin mo ba talaga sa panaginip natin ang katotohanan?" interesado niyang tanong. "Fuck. I was already dead. But did you really admit that you were involved too?"

Natigilan ako. I did. Pero hindi ko mawari kung ano ang nakakatuwa dahil nagawa ko na lang makapagsalita no'ng nauna na siyang pinaslang.

He moved even closer to me as his smile grew wider. The anticipation was eager in his eyes while waiting for my confirmation.

"Did you really try to save me, Lord Oscar?"

"I couldn't save both of us," I said, shaking my head.

Hindi natinag ang ngiti sa kanyang mga labi. "Do you remember it?"

I gawked at him. "Remember what?"

"Lagi mong paalala sa amin dati na kapag nasa mahirap tayong sitwasyon, lagi nating iisipin ang sarili nating kapakanan. It's considered wiseness rather than selfishness. Those exact words came from the wise man, leader of Socrates Group."

Napangiwi ako no'ng suntukin niya ang balikat ko. Kahit na pabiro lang 'yon ay malakas. Saka niya ginulo ang buhok ko kaya sinipa ko ulit siya. Muntik na siyang mahulog sa kama pero nagawa niyang makasalba na pagkakataong ito.

"Sobrang tagal na no'n!" singhal ko at natawa na rin.

I don't even recall saying it. However, I won't even be surprised if it turns out that I actually spoke those remarks. I used to live with that principle.

"Thank you, Lord Oscar—"

"Enough now!" I scowled at him.

"Magseselos sa akin sina Albina at Randolf kapag nalaman nila ito," masaya niyang sambit pa. "Sabi ko na, eh. Ako ang favorite mo sa amin!"

Napailing na lang ako. Matagal pa ba si Brienne? I'm fully recovered. Hindi ko matatagalang kausap ang lalaking ito. Mahilig manghalungkat ng nakaraan.

"Alam mo ba, leader? I know our group didn't stand against Aristotle. It's not like you failed as a leader or Lady Nathalia barely participated because she would rather pick flowers in the garden and use it to put color to her lips. But I never regretted that you became my leader."

That was, I think, the most intriguing thing he'd said up to that point in the conversation. I tried to ignore the first part.

"W-why did you say so?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Lahat tayo ay kumikilos sa grupo. In contrast to Aristotle, Lord Brixton did everything solely. I appreciated how my mere absence could affect the group's performance. Can you say the same to Aristotle? Brixton can carry the group on his own."

My lips parted. Alam ko naman na kahit kailan ay hindi ako pumantay sa kakayahan ni Brixton o nakalapit man lang. I've even thought that my members were envious of them, and maybe even regretting that they ended up in my group instead.

Hearing those words from one of my members touched a side of me that I've always been insecure about.

"You taught me to act without expecting anyone would help me any moment I needed," he added, and I wanted him to say more. I wanted to hear more of it. "It saved me."

"T-that's good to hear..." I lied.

That's the best thing I have ever heard.

"May mga desisyon kang hindi ko sinang-ayunan. But when it comes to leadership, I have nothing to complain about. You have always been capable of ruling."

I smiled. "Speaking of leadership, if you haven't changed your mind yet, I have something to offer you."

"I'm listening," he grinned.

"My relationship with the Seniors has always been complicated," I stated and paused to see if he was really interested. His eyes were fixated on me. "If you would let me, I would like to put you in place, Callum."

He smiled and stretched his hand to me. "This is a dream come true for me."

I took his hand in mine and gave it a firm shake.

"Just a heads-up. You will feel more pressure than pleasure," I joked, which was half meant.

"Tatanggapin ba nila ako?"

I smirked.

Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si Brienne. Tiningnan niya ako sa mga mata bago lumipat kay Callum ang kanyang tingin. Sinenyasan niya itong lumabas.

"H-hindi na ako kasali?" tanong ni Callum.

"Kung gusto mo—"

"Hell, no. Maghihintay na lang ako sa labas."

Nung kami na lang ni Brienne ang natira ay lumapit siya sa akin. For some reason, she looked worried. For me?

"Are you ready for the next phase?" she asked.

"Will it hurt even more?"

Napatingin ako sa kamay niya nung pinatong niya ito sa kamay ko. She was wearing white gloves on. I looked up at her face again. Bakit parang malungkot siya?

Will it hurt even more this time?

"We have to settle this agreement as soon as possible," she said while slowly taking off her gloves. "We have a more serious problem waiting for us outside of here. Habang tumatagal tayo ay palala nang palala ang problema sa labas."

"After this, I will settle things for everyone once and for all..." I said. "I promise that."

She smiled. "I am looking forward to it. Are you ready?"

I nodded.

I felt the softness and warmth of her palm as it landed on my hand. As everything began to shape into another nightmare, I held her hand back and whispered, "I will save you, Brienne."

Ilang sandali pa ay nawala na si Brienne. Nakatayo na ako sa isang malawak na lugar. Nasa isa akong gubat kung saan walang ibang makikita kung hindi ang mga matatayog na puno.

"I have been waiting for you..."

In an unfamiliar place, something finally felt familiar.

She smiled at me.

"Astra..."