Chapter 20

The glares on their faces didn’t waver an inch as Amy smiled up at them, and she felt a sudden urge to pull her hand out of Jaxon's.  Tightening her grip in determination, her smile only widened.  There was a problem though.  Her parents saw right through that smile; they had been able to from the beginning.  That meant they knew something was wrong.  They knew, without a doubt, that everything hadn’t turned out as Amy had wanted it to.

Her smile dropped a little despite the fact that she was doing everything she could to keep it in place.  Everyone staring down at them saw the action, and those glares softened a little as if they wanted her to realize they weren’t meant for her.  She wanted to roll her eyes at the lot of them, because no matter what she did, she knew they wouldn’t give her a look filled with so much dislike, and the fact that they were sending one to Jaxon ate at her nerves the longer that she stood there.

She glanced towards her brothers and was shocked to see a variety of emotions on their faces.  Whereas she had expected glares to match her parents, some of them actually looked amused.  Carson seemed to be taking in everyone else’s expression while a small smile pulled at the corner of his own lips.  Spencer just looked amused by the entire show down.  Logan looked at her apologetically, and she knew that he finally realized the real reason why she hadn’t wanted to ride home with him.  She turned away from him, looking at her older brother, who, with a small amount of relief, she realized was glaring at Jaxon.

What Jaxon had done to win over Carson and Spencer, Amy didn’t have a clue, but as soon as she got those brothers alone, she was going to ask them.  She put the thought to the back of her mind, knowing it’d come back later on, and focused on the people in front of her.  Her father, with his curly mop of red hair and green eyes, had a glare on his face that would send most men running for the hills.  Beside him, with her shortly cropped black hair and bright blue eyes, her mother looked just as ready to defend her daughter, if there was anything to defend her from.

“I see where you get your height.”

Everyone’s eyes widened when the words slipped out of Jaxon’s mouth, and by the shocked expression on the man’s face, he hadn’t meant for them to do so.  Amy turned towards him, and despite the tension in the air, a small laugh escaped her mouth.  “I tell Dad all the time that he should have married a taller woman, maybe I wouldn’t look like a kid when I’m standing next to the rest of them.”

Her mom glanced between Amy and Jaxon, and seeing something she must have liked, smiled largely.  “And I tell Amy countless times that the men need to feel like they have something over us.  God made us short because we’re better than them in every other way.”  Her mom winked at the long standing joke, and just like that, the tension in the air left, filling with laughter.

Despite the joke, there was an underlining truth to her mother’s words.  Maybe she was being a little bias, but to her, Amy’s mother was wonderful personified.  The woman had been her role model throughout life, showing Amy how someone who came from almost nothing could amount to something more.  She was the reason why Amy kept fighting.  She was the reason why Amy would never give up. 

“Come on,” her father said, with his slight Irish burr that he inherited from his grandfather.  “They have all of your rooms ready for you.  I know you all must be tired.”  When Amy opened her mouth to protest, her father raised an eyebrow at her.  “Don’t tell me you aren’t, Amy Lynn, I can see it in your eyes.”

“Amy Lynn?” Jaxon said with slight amusement in his voice.

“Jaxon Franklin,” Logan shot back, making Jaxon’s amusement instantly die down to something more wary.

Amy shot a glare towards her brother, and Logan instantly winced.  A small amount of regret shot through her, but she kept herself from apologizing.  He had done worse to her in the past couple of hours, and if giving him some of his own medicine would teach him, she’d be more than willing to hand out doses.

“Logan Elizabeth,” Amy’s mother called out in reprimand.  “What did I tell you about bringing work into the house?”

Amy watched as Jaxon attempted to hold back a laugh while Logan sent his mom an annoyed expression.  “That isn’t my name.”

“True,” their mom replied, “but I can still pay people to change it if you don’t be nice.”

Logan’s mouth snapped shut, and this time, Jaxon’s laugh spilled from his lips.  “I think I love your mom.”

“Don’t get any ideas,” her dad grumbled.  “If I have it my way, you won’t be loving anyone in my family.”

“Hugh,” her mom said with slightly narrowed eyes.

Her father just smiled at his wife.  “Sandra,” he shot back before glancing towards Jaxon.  “It’s too soon, whether our girl thinks so or not.”

“I’m right here,” she reminded, making them both nod in her direction, but neither of them quit talking.

“Remember our talk from earlier?”

Her dad mumbled something beneath his breath that only her mom could hear, and when her mom threw back her head and laughed, Amy knew that her dad had just reluctantly conceded to her mother’s words.  “He will not be staying in her room.”

Logan, Asher, and Carson nodded along while Spencer just chuckled with a small shrug.  She knew what he would say if they asked his opinion.  He’d say that it didn’t matter, as long as all she did was have a little fun.  Everything would be okay, she needed the small pick me up, as long as it was only fun.  The problem with that concept was that Amy wasn’t sure if she could ever keep her emotions out of her actions.  Like her father, Amy’s emotions ruled her actions.  She didn’t think things over; she didn’t stop and wonder the ramifications, not when her heart told her to do something, not when she was invested in the outcome.  This meant that she could never become involved with someone without feeling something towards them.

“Of course not,” her mother said in an overly happy tone.  “He’ll be staying in the room next to hers.”

Her father instantly muttered his disagreement along with Asher, who looked ready to move into Amy’s room himself if it meant keeping the two of them apart.  Carson and Spencer just laughed, knowing exactly what the room beside her looked like, while Logan still stared at her and Jaxon with an odd look on his face, as if he was just now beginning to realize something new.

“I’ll lock the adjoining door,” she blurted.

Jaxon sent her a look from the corner of her eyes, while her father shot her a look that said she had just stated the obvious.  “I would have had Mike bar it with steel bars if you thought otherwise.”

“You will not ruin my house.”

Her father curled an arm around his wife and pulled her close.  Leaning down, he lightly kissed her lips before pulling back with a smile.  “Our house, Sandy, but I would put a hole in every damn wall if it meant keeping her safe.”

Like always, her mother instantly melted into her father’s arms, and Amy had to keep from rolling her eyes at the two of them.  They were all talk, going at each other as if they were enemies one minute and then pulling each other close the next.  The longest Amy had ever seen them mad at one another was for three days, and that in itself was a miracle.  She stared at her parents, watched as they leaned towards each other without even thinking about it, and a small amount of envy shot through her.

This was what she had thought she had a year ago.  That love, that happiness etched on every wrinkle in their faces, it was what she thought she would have in years to come.  She thought she’d grown old with the man she loved, live happily like her parents did, but all that had fallen apart around her.  Her perfect dream of the perfect love had crumbled, showing her that love could be the strongest thing in the world, but it could also be the weakest. 

Feeling that strongly for someone was dangerous, but what had her father told her?  You have to find that person who loves you just as much as you love them; no more, no less, and once you find them, you’ll understand what it means to belong.  She had thought she had that, thought she had belonged somewhere, but her fairy tale ending had crashed and burned, leaving her with the scars to prove it.

Jaxon bumped her shoulder with his, making her glance towards him.  The worried expression on his face made her want to break down in tears; but instead, she sent him a smile that she hoped looked genuine.  He didn’t seem to believe it as he whispered, “What’s wrong?”

“Just wondering where Marshal is going to stay if you’re in the room beside me.”

Something flashed in his eyes, but before she could question it, her father began to laugh.  “That Marshal?  He can stay in any room he wants.”  Her father shook his head.  “You don't look at him like you do this one.  Marshal could sleep on your floor, and I’d have no worries.”

Marshal frowned at her father’s words while Jaxon grinned.  She had never seen anyone look so satisfied with the fact that her father didn’t trust them, but Jaxon looked as if he had just pulled a lottery ticket with the winning numbers. 

A small laugh escaped her mother’s mouth, but soon, she turned to Jaxon with a serious expression on her face.  “They may all look scarier than me,” she said in an even tone, “but I can promise you, I’m the worse enemy you’ll ever have.  Do anything to hurt my daughter, and you’re through, no matter how much she begs me to leave you be.”

Jaxon nodded, but he wasn’t looking at her mother.  Amy could feel his gaze on her, could feel the questions in his eyes, and she knew, without a doubt, that he was curious.  He knew she hadn’t told him the entire story before, but whereas he had seemed content to wait at the cabin, he looked at her now as if he wanted to pick the answers out of her mind, with or without her permission.

She shifted uncomfortably before pulling her hand out of Jaxon’s. Straightening her shoulders, she smiled at her parents.  Again, they saw right through her, but this time, they looked willing to let her fake it.  “Can we go inside?  I don’t know about the others, but I’m about to fall asleep on my feet.  Plus, I have a big day tomorrow.”  When her mother shot her a questioning look, Amy knew she wouldn’t tell her until after tomorrow was over.  She wouldn’t give her mother enough time to talk Amy out of going.  She wouldn’t give her mother enough time to go visit Amy’s ex before Amy herself could.  “I’ll tell you tomorrow,” she said with a genuine yawn.  “Your son woke me up before the sun came up this morning.”

Her mother nodded, allowing the excuse to slip by without commenting.  “You’ll show Marshal and Jaxon to their rooms?  I’d ask Francis to do it, but she’s out in the garden.”

“No problem,” Amy mumbled as she walked up the six steps leading to her porch.  She glanced behind her, making sure that both Jaxon and Marshal had followed before pushing her way through the front door.  The rest of her family stayed on the porch, most likely putting their heads together and coming up with different ways to get Jaxon to leave as soon as they could.  She laughed at the thought, knowing that there were more than a few who would actually be rooting for Jaxon, whether the man realized it or not.

“If they’d feel more comfortable,” Jaxon started as he caught up to her, “I’ll sleep in a different room.”

“Wait until you see it,” she said with a small laugh.  “You’ll understand why they want you in there.”

“What about me?” Marshal asked as he took a step between Jaxon and her.  “If I’m being a burden, just let me know.  I can find a hotel nearby.”

She frowned at the man.  “This house is big enough to be a hotel.  As long as my parents don’t mind you staying here, pick a room.”

Jaxon leaned over to look at her passed Marshal, and Amy smiled at the action.  “What about you?” he asked looking worried once more.  “You shouldn’t be out there by yourself, not when we don’t know if the men after me know about you.”

“Asher already beat you to the lecture,” she assured him.  “For the next couple of days, I’ll be staying in my old room, but after that, I’m going home.  If it looks like they aren’t after me, I see no reason why I can’t stay in my apartment.”

“I don’t see why you would ever want to leave here,” Marshal mumbled as they got closer to her old bedroom.

She opened her mouth to answer, but before she could, Jaxon was shaking his head.  “You never really want to leave your parents.  Life is easy when you have them to take care of you, but there comes a time in your life when you realize that you want to be more, and to be more, you have to be proud of yourself.  For me, that meant branching out on my own. I had to prove to myself that I was something without my parents.”

“Exactly,” she said with a nod.  Her large smile made Jaxon blink at her with a dumbfounded expression on his face, but she didn’t care.  Never, had she heard someone describe what she had gone through so well.  He was spot on, and she knew the only reason why was because he had experienced the same thing as she had.  He had the parents who were amazing, who were heroes in their own rights, and he knew that the only way to prove to himself that he was something was to get out of their shadows.

“Here we are.”  She motioned towards the two doors to her right before waving her hand at all the others.  “Pick any room that you want, Marshal, but these two.  Jaxon, yours is on the left.”

Marshal walked down the hall, opening one door before closing it.  He walked towards the next, opened the door and disappeared into the room.  With a shrug, Amy turned towards Jaxon.  “Guess he found one that he liked.”  When he simply stared at her with a small smile on his face, she grinned back.  “Open it up.”

His hand reached towards the door, and trepidation flashed in his eyes before he eased the door open.  As soon as he did, he paused.  His eyes widened, and when he looked back at her, shock was etched into his features.  “Seriously?”

Amy pushed passed Jaxon and into the room that had served as her best friend’s guest room for years.  “It was how she liked it,” Amy said with a laugh as she took in the pink interior.

“Everything is pink,” he muttered as he followed her.  “Oh god, is the bed a heart?”

“It’s very comfortable,” Amy promised as she tried to push back her amusement.  Walking around the room, she ran her hands over different objects and felt a mix of sadness and happy remembrance. 

“I guess that’s something,” Jaxon said, and this time, when he spoke, there was laughter in his voice also.

Amy turned toward him with the smile on her face, and it faltered slightly when she realized that this was the most she had smiled genuinely in a long time.  She was used to her fake smiles, of her forced happiness, but in the past couple of days, her smiles had been nothing but real.  She stared at Jaxon, stared at the laughter in his brown eyes and had to wonder if he was the cause.  Was this man, who she was just now beginning to know, the reason for her smiles?

For the second time that day, she shook her head to erase the thought from her mind.  She wouldn’t let herself wonder, wouldn’t let herself think, because they could never have more than a friendship.  “If there is anything you need,” she began, interrupting her own thoughts, “just let me know.”

Jaxon nodded with a yawn.  “I don’t have much of anything on me,” he said with a chuckle.  “So, when I finally have the energy to roll out of that thing,” he motioned towards the large heart that formed a bed, “I’ll take you up on that offer.”

Laughing, Amy shook her head at him.  “You know, you really are a good guy, Jaxon, and one day, you’ll realize that.”

She hadn’t meant for the words to fall out of her mouth, hadn’t even realized that they did until it was too late, but by the way that he smiled at her, she knew that he wasn’t going to run away just because she showed a little emotion.  “And you’re an amazing woman, Amy, but I’m sure you hear that enough for you to realize it.”

“Thanks,” she whispered before glancing behind her.  “Well,” she started reluctantly, “I guess I better go.”

“Adjoining door?” he asked in amusement when she took a step back.

She nodded with a smile.  “Which will be firmly locked, because my dad will be in here before long to make sure.”  Jaxon walked towards her, and before Amy could react, he pulled her into a hug before quickly taking a step back.  It happened so fast that she hadn’t even had time to return the action.  “What was that for?”

“Thanks, luck, encouragement.”  He shrugged.  “Take your pick.  All I know is that tomorrow is going to be rough for you, and I wish I could go for you.”

“I’ll be fine.”

He smiled.  “Of course you will.  No one can keep you down for too long, but it doesn’t stop me from worrying.”

Her eyes didn’t waver from his an inch as she took a step back and another until her back hit the door.  Her smile was a little tight at the edges, and by his frown, he seemed to notice, but she had to get out of there before she did something stupid.  She had to get out of there before she told him how she really felt, before she told him that she cared for him a little more than she should.

So, for once in her life, Amy took the coward’s way out.  She reached behind her, jerked the door open, and before she could blurt out anything other than a goodbye, she disappeared into her room.  She had done something she hadn’t done in years; she had run.  But as she turned the lock on the adjoining door and flopped down on her old bed, she knew she had done the right thing.  They couldn’t get involved.  She couldn’t get involved.  There were many reasons why it couldn’t happen, and tomorrow, she would have to face one of those reasons.

The thought made her fall onto her back.  Staring up at her ceiling, she winced.  Tomorrow, she’d face her past, whether she wanted to or not.  She just hoped that her ex bought her fake smiles more than her parents did, because she couldn’t pretend to be happy for him.  She couldn’t pretend that everything was okay.  Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and wished for sleep.  She wished for strength, she wished for courage, and deep in her mind, where she wouldn’t let her thoughts come to light, she wished that she could be more than just friends with Jaxon.  She wished she could have what her parent’s had.

She knew it was nearly impossible, but she hadn’t given up hope.  One day, she would have the life she wanted, but until that day, she had another goal.  She was going to help Jaxon, whether he wanted her help or not.  She was going to put the happiness back on his face, just as he had brought back her smiles.