Sorry. Forgot to upload.

I'm gonna upload 24 after this and then 25 is coming on Sunday

bueee

Kasia

I wasn't angry. I said to myself as I bathed Zaire. I definitely wasn't angry because Silver had managed to get me pregnant and give birth without romanticizing me. I have his kid, and he doesn't even want to properly ask me to be his girlfriend.

I know I shouldn't make a big deal out of it because it's not a proposal. I just feel like...I gave birth to his fucking baby on my toilet, which then caused me to spiral into madness and be a victim of postpartum anxiety–which, by the way, is killing me.

I check every two minutes to make sure Zaire's breathing; I barely sleep because I'm so worried he'd stop breathing during the night. I try to change his diaper often to help with diaper rashes. I got him circumcised, and I made sure to put Vaseline there. I have a poop color chart for newborns just to make sure he's shitting correctly.

The list goes on. I'm spiraling. Not to mention, my body dysmorphia has every mirror breaking every time I look into it. It's only gotten better because Silver's horny ass likes to remind me of how much he's missed my body.

My body hasn't changed much because I had a cryptic pregnancy, but I still wasn't happy with it. I try not to pump milk so my tits don't get saggy as well.

Ugh, you see why I need a girlfriend proposal. He made me like this. I can't go a day without worrying about our baby. Not only am I a mother, but I am also a stepmother...soon to be, anyway. Analia's perfect, and I like being her stepmother, sending her to school, and helping her with homework.

But I want to go back to work.

Things I can't do because Silver got me pregnant, and he can't even do something as simple as a romantic dinner and asking me with mannerisms to be his girlfriend.

The only useful thing he has done so far is fix the damn crib.

Yes, I'm angry.

"What do you want to wear today, baby," I told the small child in my arms. He obviously didn't answer me; he just shuffled, making cooing noises.

Another thing I missed when he first opened his eyes because I passed out. He barely opens his eyes now. He's always asleep, and when he's feeding, he opens them a tiny bit, and I can see a bit of hazel or brown or–I don't even know.

I don't have the energy to stare at him until he opens them up entirely.

I got him dressed in a cute little onesie when I heard the front door open and close. The footsteps running up the stairs tell me it's Analia.

"Aw, look, he's still asleep." Analia frowned. "Why's he so lazy?"

I shrugged, laughing. "I think he's a little too comfortable.

"I'd be comfortable if I was sleeping on your tits most of the day," Silver pointed out.

Analia facepalmed. "Dad! Cosa ti ho detto sull'essere romantico?!" (What did I tell you about being romantic)

I glared at Silver. "Really?"

Silver silently rolled his eyes and said nothing.

"Anyways," Analia smiled. "Can I hold him?"

I nodded, gently handing Zaire to Analia. I trusted Analia because she was so mature. I rest easy knowing Zaire's being taken care of in his sister's room. At first, I was a little concerned, but after spying on them, I realized that Analia's more mature for her age.

"Please be careful when putting him on your bed."

"Got it," Analia hummed, carrying her brother to her room.

"Are you mad at me?" Silver finally spoke up.

I rolled my eyes. "No, why would I be mad at you?" I even gave him a fake laugh.

I turned around to close the closet and reorganize the baby's things. He came up behind me and laid his head on my shoulder. "I have a surprise for you, tomorrow."

I turned to face him with an angry look. "I already told you. I have about four more fucking weeks before I can have sex again so–"

"That's not what I meant," he said calmly. "I mean, I'm taking you out tomorrow."

I scoffed bewilderedly. "What do you mean you're taking me out, stop playing with me, Silver."

He kissed my cheek. "I don't 'play' Kasia, unless–"

"Stop." I rolled my eyes. "I already know what you're going to say."

"So you'll go out with me?" He asked, playing with my natural curls.

I nodded. "Yes, Silver, I can't wait," I smiled when he kissed me. "But this doesn't mean I'm not mad at you. I'm just happy you're taking me out."

"Mhm," he hummed, kissing me again.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

"Wait, so you gave birth?!" Kishma and Winston said in unison. They face-timed me today, and I decided to tell them the truth.

"Yep,"

"So you were pregnant during our phone call and decided not to tell me?!" Kishma shrieked in horror.

"Us." Winston added, pouting.

I laughed. "Calm down, I didn't know either. He was hiding in there."

"Damn, that's genius." Winston said.

Kishma furrowed a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"Right," I said, not following.

"He must have known you would abort him and had to hide." Winston theorized.

I facepalmed as Kishma smacked his head to the side.

"What was that for?!" Winston whined.

Winston was the literal pretty but dumb stereotype.

"Does that even sound right to you?"

I shook my head. "No, that's not it, Winston," I chuckled. "The doctor said it was hormonal imbalances because I was taking hormonal birth control. I was lucky I didn't have any complications, I didn't take any prenatal vitamins or anything."

"Jeez, so you're really ok?" Kishma asked.

I nodded. "Yea, the hospital had to provide Zaire with–"

"Wait, you named your child Zaire?" Winston said, obviously disapproving of the name.

I smiled sheepishly. "Yup, Zaire."

Kishma grabbed her phone and started typing. "Is his father's from Congo? Cause, I'm seeing here it says 'Zaire, officially the Republic of Zaire, was the name of the Democratic Republic of the Congo from 1965 to 1997.'"

"No," I laughed. "I got the name from a movie. His father's name is Italian."

Kishma and Winston both gave me that look.

"I have so many questions, Kasia."

"So do I." Kishma agreed with Winston.

"Well, I know and I have made the hard decision to actually come to Anguilia in June after my trip to Cartagena. It's gonna be Zaire's first vacation."

Kishma and Winston frowned at each other.

"Kasia, no offense, but that's not a good idea." Winston said.

I sighed. "I know, but we also have aunties and uncles who I want to see and I want them to see Zaire and Silver."

"Are you sure? What about mom and dad?"

"I have my man to protect me," I smiled. "Plus, I'm not afraid of them anymore. I'm a mom now, I have to be the bigger person. So be there,"

Kishma and Winston nodded. "Of course, that's our nephew." Winston smiled.

"Yea, where is he now?"

"Um, he's with his father. They went out and now they're chilling in his office."

Kishma hummed suspiciously. "Uhuh, and what does that nigga do?"

I rolled my eyes. "He's Italian and he's an...uh," don't say mafia. "He's a businessman."

"And his name is Silver?" Winston said, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged carelessly, remembering the last time I used his real name. "He doesn't go by his real name."

"Italian..." Kishma said. "Ok, exotic. How the fuck did you get an Italian man?"

I giggled. "Don't worry about it, I'll tell you everything when we see each other."

They both groaned as I giggled in delight.

After a while of talking, their manager called, and we left the phone. I had to get ready for wherever Silver was taking me today. I asked all of last night, but all he did was eat donuts and chocolate and then fell asleep.

I was so excited that he was taking me someplace without the plan of fucking me. I don't even know what to wear. Besides that, I have to mentally prepare for meeting my parents in two months.

In Anguilla, the only people who accepted me were my dad's sister and her husband. Aunt Gloria and Uncle Robert. Weekends with them were the best. They only had two children despite wanting to have a soccer team, a son and a daughter, because Uncle Robert had cancer and had to freeze his sperm. Gloria is one of my favorite people.

She is the apple of her parent's eye, and she made sure to make them proud. My parents always compared me to her, and we both got transferred to America, being prodigies.

She met a man during grad school and told me about him. Suddenly, I'm at her wedding and baby shower, and she's all the way in Germany with her two kids and husband.

She's so busy that I only hear from her on my birthdays, holidays, and trips back to Anguilla.

Her brother, Thomas, is in college in Anguilla, and he's kind of an introvert. He's somewhat of a miracle child but would rather not be the center of attention.

I hope everything will turn out well after going to Anguilla with Silver and Zaire.

I hope my parents can at least accept Zaire. One thing they won't do is put my son in the dirt like they did to me. 

Things will get serious very soon. dww