Sorry I'm late. I'm preparing for my aunt's wedding

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Kasia

Silver left a week ago, leaving me with his daughter and brother, who are both equally shocked. Kyle won't stop asking me questions, and Analia keeps trying to see what her gifts are. It's like I'm security around here.

"So you're telling me," Kyle said. "Silver got me a gift." He said, looking at the wrapped gift box that said:

From: Silver

To: Othello Kyle

I nodded. "Yup,"

Kyle shook his head. "You fucked him so good hes actually lost his mind."

I screamed in shock and began to laugh. "Kyle! Oh my god,"

Kyle shrugged. "Whatever."

"But, yes, he did get you a gift. Do you know where he went?" I asked, wrapping other gifts for Analia.

Kyle shrugged. "Nope."

I sighed. "Well, he bought a gift for you and asked me to wrap it."

"You told him to, didn't you?"

I giggled, turning away from him. "No, I didn't." I stood up. "How about you wake Analia up and get your gift for your secret Santa thingy."

Every Christmas, since Kyle's family is not big on giving, my family doesn't care about me, and Latara's family is dead, we do a Secret Santa.

But now Yana has also joined us. When I picked out the hat, I got her. We're all celebrating at my house. Brady was originally going to come to my house for Christmas, too, but...since Silver will be there, I'm staying the night at Brady's for Christmas Eve, and then I'll be back bright and early for Christmas.

It seems like a good idea, but I'm already mentally prepared for something going wrong.

Not to mention, I now have a sudden dislike for pancakes and cravings for donuts. This is weird because I love pancakes, and every time I try to eat those fluffy, creamy pancakes that I made, I throw up.

Luckily, Silver bought me donuts before leaving.

I keep staring at the box because I know I'm on a diet, but I've been so hungry lately and need to pee so much more often. I notice that every fucking time Silver and I have sex, I have crazy pregnancy symptoms. I've learned to just deal with it.

There's no baby. He wears condoms...sometimes, and I take birth control...sometimes. Emphasis on the 'sometimes' I took two pregnancy tests which came back negative.

I need to stop wasting these. I'm not pregnant.

"Ou! I gotta gift from dad!" Analia gasped, picking up the box.

"Wait, Ana," I gently took the box. "You have to wait until Christmas."

She frowned. "But it's the first Christmas gift I've gotten from him."

My eyes widened. "What?! You never received gifts."

"I have, for my birthday and when dad makes me sad. Just not for Christmas. Dad hates Christmas. He says the only 'happy' day he enjoys is my birthday."

I facepalmed. "Well, we're going to work on that." I sighed. "Wouldn't it be better to open it when he's here?"

"He won't be here, I just know it." Analia giggled like I was naive for believing Silver would show up.

I smiled sheepishly. "Ana, trust me, if he doesn't get here, I'll kill him myself."

Analia giggled. "Ok, don't say I told you so."

I frowned as Analia called for Kyle. She's so used to the wrong customs...it reminds me of...me.

Except I know Silver loves her. My parents could never love me.

"I said wait!" Kyle yelled from his room.

I sighed. "Analia, ignore Kyle. This Christmas is going to be a different year for you. Trust me."

Analia smiled up at me. "Of course I trust you. I just don't trust my dad to show up. Dad only cheers me up when I'm sad and protects me when I'm scared."

I smiled. "Ok," I cut the conversation short when Kyle walked out in his element. I need Silver to show up.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Christmas Eve

To say I was bored was an understatement. Brady got to touch me and use me however he wanted, and I started involuntarily comparing my sex life with Brady's to that of Agatha Danbury's with her old-ass husband. Painful and lifeless.

Then we opened our gifts. I got a keto diet book, and I got him his favorite 200$ dollar liquor. I realized I shouldn't have done that, but I thought he would go all out. I'm so fucking dumb.

Brady and I watched Hallmark movies. He jumped on me again, though, and I thought of Silver and felt guilty. I had to stop Brady and run to the bathroom. I felt so guilty.

My chest pulled with guilt.

I couldn't wait for the day to be over.

"Tired of me already?" Brady smirked.

I scoffed. "I think so," I sighed. "I really liked your gift though." I said, trying to change the subject, but he kept staring at me. "Brady–?"

"I love you."

I hiccuped. "What?!" I stood up.

Brady licked his lips. "I love you–you don't have to confess yet, but know that I love you."

You don't give someone you love a keto diet book for Christmas. It's rude and embarrassing.

I smiled sheepishly. "I–ok,"

Brady seemed angry that I didn't reciprocate. "I can't believe you Kasia, I know I said you don't have to reciprocate but...I thought you'd feel the same thing." He frowned.

"Brady, I'm just not ready. I'm still here aren't I. I'm just not ready."

Two men confessed their love to me, but I'm only in love with one of them. The wrong one of them.

"Fine." He shook his head, walking out of the bathroom.

I'm not even sure if I'm sorry. I know Brady's not a good person, but I'm trying so hard to force myself to love him when he already does. Am I doing something wrong? Brady can always pick up and leave. He doesn't seem to know what the true meaning of love is.

But do I know?

It's ironic that I speak about knowing love. I have never known love, but I always make the best out of my life. I don't spread my inner hatred, inner sorrow, and inner despicable needs because I try to believe it's not my fault.

It's hard. But it's the truth.

"Brady?"

"I'm going to sleep," he spat, brushing past me.

I sighed, shook my head, and nodded. "This is love." I whispered sarcastically. "I'm coming–"

"Use the guest room."

I sighed. "Fine, Brady," I spat in annoyance. "Fine."

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

Christmas

I quietly opened the front door and tip-toed inside. It was six am, and everyone wouldn't be up, and here until around eight, so I had time to shower and pretend I was here the whole time.

I gently closed the door and sighed.

"Where the fuck were you?"

I covered my mouth to hide the loud gasp. I quickly turned around and smiled. "You actually came!"

Silver didn't return the smile. "I broke in around four am to find an empty bed in your room. Where were you?" He walked closer to me.

"I was...well–what the hell?!" I gasped when Silver ripped the top half of my dress.

"You smell like him. Like Brady." He gritted out.

"I'm sorry, Silver, I–"

"I told you that I... I loved you." He frowned.

"Silver, you've put me in a difficult position."

"What's so difficult about my love for you?"

I nodded. "It's not that Silver because I love you too–"

"Stop fucking lying. Forget I said anything to you." He cut me off so abruptly, and just like that, his walls were up high.

He sounded so hurt. And just like that. I treated his feelings like trash. I know I don't like Brady, and I know I'm also playing Brady, so why am I still here? I love Silver, so why haven't I already said it? Why did I do the things I promised myself I would never do?

I don't hurt people. I don't do revenge.

I don't do the things that once hurt me.

"Silver," I called. "Silver, please."

He didn't turn around; he slammed the door, and just like that, I was locked out of my own room. "Oh fuck,"

I freshened up and grabbed some clothes from the clean laundry basket since I was locked out of my room.

The first person out of the room was Analia; she came rushing out but then stopped and raced back to the bathroom to brush her teeth. I chuckled at her youthly eagerness for Christmas. The day was already ruined for me, but Analia's day had just begun.

"I can't wait to open presents!" Analia jumped up and down. "Can we do it now?! Please!"

I chuckled. "Hold on, sweetie, we gotta wait for Kyle to wake up."

Analia groaned and pulled me toward Kyle's room. "Uncle Kyle!" Analia burst into Kyle's room, scaring him awake.

"I hate kids." Kyle frowned, getting up. "I'll come out in a bit, you demonic entity."

Analia giggled evilly. "I'll always be your little demon."

Kyle gives me a 'are you seeing this' look, and I laugh. "Go change, Kyle or Analia's going to open everyone's presents."

"Fine, bitch. Jesus." He stomped into the bathroom as Analia and I went back to the living room.

"See, dad isn't here." Analia hummed, looking at the presents up closely. "I told you he'd be too busy."

My smile faltered a bit. "Analia, you're in for a surprise–"

"I'm right here, la bambina." (baby girl)

Analia gasped as I turned around. "Dad!" Analia ran toward him and jumped. "I thought you wouldn't be here! I saw the present you got me! I can't wait to open it." She giggled so happily.

Silver didn't smile, but he was happy with his daughter's happiness. "I'm glad you're happy, Nalia,"

Analia nodded, and then she turned to me. "Thanks, Kasia," she hugged me, and I smiled.

"I told you to trust me," I caressed her head.

Silver scoffed and stood behind the kitchen island, putting space between us. This wasn't like the other times...he wasn't just angry, he was hurt, and I hurt him. "Analia, how about you go play some pranks on your uncle while we wait for Latara and Yana to get here."

Analia laughed deviously. "Great idea!" She skipped toward the bathroom, and I sighed.

"Silver, can I please talk–"

"Just, answer this," he said lowly. "Did you let him inside of you?" I licked my suddenly dry lips and looked to the floor in shame. I heard him scoff. "That's all I needed to know."

"No, Silver it wasn't–"

"Shut up."

"I didn't want to." I reasoned.

"Shut up."

"I couldn't feel anything, it hurt!" I cried.

He grabbed my neck. "I said shut up you fucking whore." He seethed, his eyes cold with anger, but I wasn't scared. I was guilty and ashamed.

"Silver–"

He shook his head. "I knew it. Every time I've ever felt this way it ended up with me like this. Lied to. Hurt. I feel like a little boy. I feel degraded, so I guess now I know how you felt and I'm sorry. You got me bad, Kasi,"

I shook my head, my eyes stung with hot tears. "No, that's not it–ah!" I fell back when Silver pushed me aside.

That's when I knew. He was no longer going to hear me out on this.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

"Ok, ok, I'm ready," Latara giggled. "Open yours, bitch!"

I rolled my eyes as I took the gift from Latara. She picked my name out of the hat. "This better not be some dumb shi..." I picked up a blue newborn baby onesie that said, 'I'm mama's boy.'

Kyle, Latara, and Yana started laughing.

"Ain't shit funny. I'm not laughing." I seethed. "Where the fuck is my actual present."

Latara laughed. "Here. Two tickets to Cartagena, Columbia. Take whoever you choose."

Yana coos. "Are you going to take Brady–"

We all felt a cold chill in the room; looking over at the corner was Silver glaring. Darkening the aura in the room.

Yana laughed nervously. "O–or one of your best friends–"

"No, nigga, you can't take family, or children, or us–including bitch ass Kyle." Latara said while side-eyeing Kyle.

Kyle pulled up his middle finger, and Latara rolled her eyes.

"That's bad uncle Kyle." Analia giggled.

"You want some too?!" Kyle turned his finger on Ana, and she pretended to be hurt.

I nodded. "Wow, ok. I have five months to choose."

She nodded. "Yup, next person."

Kyle sighed. "I got Latara's bitch ass." He handed her gift to her, and she giggled evilly.

"Oh my god!" Latara jumped up when she saw wine. "Domaine Leroy: Chambertin Grand Cru! Oh my god, Kyle, I think I love you."

Yana gaped. "Why do you know the full name?"

I laughed. "She's a wine connoisseur."

Kyle hummed. "Mhmm, you better love me, I spent twelve thousand eight hundred and twenty-four dollars on that shit you alcoholic."

Latara hugged him. "I love you baby, if you weren't gay I'd give you a sloppy toppy."

Kyle gagged. "That is exactly why I'm gay, whore."

Latara didn't mind; she was too busy looking at her expensive wine and giggling like a witch.

"Well, I got Kyle." Yana spoke up, giving him his gift. "Here."

Kyle gasped. "Coco Chanel 1932! Les parfums exclusifs de Chanel." He squealed. "I knew I saw potential in you," he kissed Yana's cheek.

Latara gave him a surprised look. "Since when this nigga speak French?"

"Right," Yana and I said in unison.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Uncultured swines."

"Ok, whatever, your turn Kasia," Latara announced.

I sighed. "So, I remembered you mentioned that though your father's Egyptian, you know almost nothing and I remember seeing you look at ancient Egyptian jewelry so I got you an Egyptian Sphinx brooch and a Diamond Scarab Necklace. You lucky I'm rich."

Yana's eyes filled with tears. "Oh thank you so much!" She hugged me. "I've been to Egypt many times as a child but it makes me feel guilty when I know or have nothing of my father's culture. Thank you."

I nodded. I knew that culture was a big thing for Yana. She was always about Ethiopian and Egyptian cultures, but she always complained about knowing too little about her Egyptian side.

"Now it's time for Analia," I smiled, and she jumped up.

"Finally!" She ran toward the tree. "I want to open dad's first!"

I smiled tightly. "Go ahead."

Analia ripped that shit up, and we all gasped at what we saw. "It's a princess carriage!" She squealed.

It's a 70,000$ coach. I know it; Kishma got the one I wanted on her birthday. She let me use it because my parents bought it for her just to spite me, but it wasn't what she actually wanted.

Analia's so very lucky.

"Wow," Kyle said. "Well, I got you an American girl surf bus."

Analia squealed and ripped it open too. "Daddy look!" She said.

Analia was happy, happy enough to go back to her inner child. The child she should be.

Silver nodded. "I see, Nalia, keep opening your presents."

Analia nodded giddily. "Thanks, Uncle Kyle."

Kyle winked.

"I got you a mini Bentley with pink rims," I said sheepishly, wondering if I had done too much. I spent a lot of money that I kinda left untouched. I still have a lot more, though.

"Pink?!" Analia cried. "I think I'm going to pass out!" She sat in her new mini car, jumped into the coach, and got on her knees to play with the American girl doll.

She was doing a lot in so little time.

"Well, I got you a custom made doll last minute and some hair dye." Latara said. "I know you wanted a streak of pink in your hair so I got you a doll with the pink streak and some pink semi-permanent hair dye."

Analia shed tears. "I'm so happy! I love Christmas. Can I dye my hair? Pretty please, Daddy?!"

Silver nodded in his little corner. "Of course."

Analia spun around and sat next to Yana. "What did you get me, Yana?" She asked excitedly.

Yana smiled. "Well, I got you something and then we all pitched in and bought you another gift because we figured you were a special little girl," she giggled at Analia's piqued interest. "I got you a pink Nintendo Switch Lite Console."

"Oh yes! Oh yes! I'll never leave my house!" Analia jumped like a junkie getting laid with drugs.

"Don't forget the other thing we bought for you." Kyle said.

"What?" Analia asked.

Yana and Latara pushed a massive box into the living room.

"We're just gonna tell you," Yana panted. "It's a treehouse."

Analia laughed in amazement after there was no other reaction left in her. Then she started sobbing. "I'm.." she hiccuped. "So happy. Thank you so much,"

"Of course, kid," Latara smiled. "Like Yana said, you're special."

"A special little demon, but still special." Kyle said.

Analia giggled. "I can't wait to get home and put all of this up."

We all took a sneak peek at Silver, who had a cocked eyebrow. "Yea, sure, Nalia, I'll have someone do it."

Of course, his lazy ass isn't about to do it. I almost giggled, but I don't think we're on good terms for me to be giggling about him.

I already missed him.

Analia grinned. "Next Christmas, I'll buy each of you guys something too."

Yana giggled softly as I ruffled Ana's hair. "We can't wait,"

After the gifts, we ate Christmas cookies and had eggnog. Latara spiked hers with her new wine, and Silver stayed to the side. He didn't speak unless Analia asked him a question, to which he always responded with 'sure.' or 'of course.' I felt tremendously guilty that he wasn't enjoying Christmas.

After watching Christmas movies bundled together with hot cocoa and cookies for eight hours, Yana left to spend her remaining time with her family. Latara went to check on Tom Baker. Kyle also left–his bitch ass–to his boyfriend's house.

They all left after knowing Silver's animosity toward me the whole day.

As soon as they all left, Silver called some men to pick up Analia's gifts, and they were soon about to leave too. "Bye, Kasia,"

"Bye, Analia. I'll see you next time."

She nodded.

"Analia, vai ad aspettare in macchina, devo prendere qualcosa." (Go wait in the car, I have to get something.)

Analia nodded at whatever Silver said and headed to the car while Silver silently went to my room. I followed him and stood at the door while he picked up his condoms and shirt. He then looked at me with apparent anger, threw a bouquet of flowers at my feet, and came face-to-face with me. "Move."

I frowned. "Silver," I whispered. "I'm sorry this time–"

"Words." He started, almost yelling. "They mean nothing. 'Love, sorry.' I don't want to fucking hear those words again. Neither do I want to see you ever again." He pushed past me and walked away.

That's it.

Silver Moretto doesn't believe I love him.

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byeeeeee