Hiii. Early upload today because I'm excited for the wattys, and today has been an unproductive day anyways.

enjoy

read up to chapter 32 on Patreon, and ngl I cried while writing chapter 31 cus it was so heartbreaking. I was like, why am I writing human suffering like this?

Anyways here's the link:  patreon.com/KalistaBemah16

Silver

It's been four weeks since I lashed out at Kasia and two weeks since I saw her with that bitch-boy. I've been drowning myself in working because I'm still processing this annoying pain of guilt and rejection.

I have never liked someone like this, and it's fucking annoying.

I sighed, groaning in annoyance when Othello opened my door so harshly that it dented my walls. "My daughter is asleep," I said.

"What happened between you and Kasia?"

My jaw clenched. "I don't know what she thinks she's doing–playing with my feelings–acting oblivious. I don't care about her anymore." I lied through my teeth. I was butt-hurt because I had been rejected, and it was all because of Natalie.

Natalia.

No, because of you.

Whatever.

Othello pursed his lips. "Do you think I'm stupid?"

I looked back down at my work. "You don't want me to answer that."

"Bitch ass–Look, Kasia already told me what happened–before and after the date," Othello said. "You need to stay away from that woman, she is already hurt enough as it is, and you're just going to break down everything she's ever built up again."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?" Othello opened his mouth to answer, but I cut him off. "Is she the only person in the world who's been hurt?"

Othello glared at me. "Abbiamo passato tutti la stessa cosa e tu sei l'unico a lamentarsi." (We all went through the same thing, and you're the only one bitching.)

My jaw clenched. "Fuck off,"

"No, I didn't mean that," Othello facepalmed as I rolled my eyes. "What I meant is that you and Kasia are both people who've been hurt. The difference is that Kasia makes sure that she doesn't spread her pain. You do. She's not going to fall for you just for you to disrespect her and make her feel worthless."

"I don't think she's worthless," I said, my annoyance flaring.

"Are you treating her that way? Better yet, are you telling her that?"

I shook my head, baffled by that idea. "She should already know. I am trying to go on dates with her."

"To have sex!" Othello exclaims.

"Amongst other things," I replied quickly. "It's not the only thing I want, or I would have found something else."

Othello shrugged. "It's too late anyway; she's dating a guy she likes," he chuckled. "You really fumbled, you know? She's so good with your daughter too."

"Give me his name."

Othello scoffed. "No, bitch, you're not killing Kasia's chance of being happy."

"I wanted that chance," I grumbled to myself.

"Well, you missed it bitch! You embarrassed yourself and me. You need to get help."

"I need you to get out," I growled.

He sighed. "Calm down."

"Why are you here?" I asked, gauging his response.

Othello sighed, thinking for a while. "I wanted you guys to be together, and you messed it up! I wanted you to be happy, and I wanted her to be happy, but your thirty-five years of life on this earth is a waste."

"I'm trying to apologize," I said.

"No, bitch, ruining a date and forcing her to deal with your bullshit is not apologizing." Othello was exasperated for no reason. "You know you're so emotionally detached from everything that you can't even tell your own daughter that you love her."

I sighed, getting back to my work. I knew he was right, but Analia's smart; she should know. She's the only person I love. "Fuck off,"

Othello sighed. "I know what mama did–"

"Don't fucking mention her." I cut him off. "She's not a topic anymore."

Othello sighed and nodded. "Mi dispiace," (I'm sorry)

"Just leave."

Othello nodded. "Ok, just..think about what I said."

"Partire." (Leave)

Othello knew not to speak of our mother. He knew what she did to us–to me. Out of all her sons, I was the closest to her, and she hurt me to no point of return, and I hated her for it. She's the reason.

She's the reason for everything.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.

"Daddy?" Analia opened my office door. I've been at work since dawn trying to fucking locate the rest of Ronan's bitches that were attacking mafias. Ten years ago, Dimitri, Kazan, and I killed off the Irish mafia for their cultish-like ways–and because they abducted Dimitri's wife, Adore.

I fucking hate cults.

Ever since then, the German, Russian, and Italian mafia has been under attack by Ronan's surviving goons who want fucking revenge for killing their leader and destroying their mafia. Personally, I don't give a fuck; I'm just fucking pissed that there are survivors.

We fucking bombed that bitch out, and if I find any of those Irish men, I'll kill them–because my hand is missing.

"SÌ, Ana," (yes)

She walked inside and closed the door quietly, cautiously standing to the side. "Can you...leggimi una favola della buonanotte?" (read me a bedtime story?)

I shook my head. "I can't, Ana, do something else."

I saw my daughter's sheer disappointment and loneliness, and Othello's words echoed in my head. "You can't even tell your own daughter that you love her." The pain of guilt rose up in me again, and I didn't know what the fuck was going on.

I wasn't supposed to feel like this.

GUILT.

I sighed. "Come here," I dropped my phone and pen down and watched as her face lit up. She wasted no time jumping onto my lap. I wish I could smile for her, but I can't... it's just not in me.

"Will you read me a bedtime story then?" She asked excitedly.

I nodded. "Before, let me tell you something." I sighed, closing my eyes. "You can't even tell your own daughter that you love her." I opened my eyes and looked into her silver ones. "You...You know," I cursed under my breath as Analia tilted her head in confusion.

"Are you ok, Dad?"

I nodded. "Listen," I exhaled. "You know I love you, right?"

Analia's eyes welled up, and her lip quivered–my eyes widened in confusion, and I opened my mouth to say something, but she hugged me, cutting me off. "Y–you guys h–have never ever said that to me." She started sobbing loudly. "You guys never hug me, papa; thank you."

I frowned; she shouldn't be thanking me for loving her. Othello was right, and I realized that Natalia and I messed up. I wiped her tears and caressed her soft black curls. "Mi dispiace, Ana," (I'm sorry) I sighed, wiping even more tears as she nodded. "Let's go read a bedtime story for you."

Analia smiled, sniffing. "Yes, please."

yikesss, Silver is finally stepping up as a parent.

alot's going on ik.

hhehehe

I have so much LORE for this book I can't. Lemme stop.

I hope you enjoyed.

feel free to join my patreon

patreon.com/KalistaBemah16

no pressure cus I understand having no money and window shopping. I do it everyday, just stare at my shein hoping it will magically appear.

anyway, have a good day/night.

edited.