Nate :

October 16th ,2011

The day

For the past week ,Thalia acted strangely acted like me when I was thrusted into her messed up world. She stared at her desk eyes vacant and was there as quiet as mouse.I had no idea how hwo days went but now she gaped at it.Still lost.I couldbt help but be concerned.It was strange for her to be quiet.When she entered the class ,her head was bowed and her eyes were anywhere but straight.Her eyes were wide and her mind raced.Always.

I watched her with raised brows and a concerned frown.Everyone noticed.he played with her fingers and her sweater with the hood down.I stopped at her desk but when she saw me.She smiiled ,small and short or waved at me then got distracted with her lips or played with fingers.

"Is it me or Thalias acting starnge ?"Ali remarked ,I nodded in agreement .Earlier that mprning.When Sasha and I left the group.It was starnge because she was a star studenta nd that day she never answered a question or was even herself.

That freaking bastard!

But someway ,somehow.I knew it wasnt him.I was lost as a mouse in a amze.

Sasha crossed her arms and bowed her head then her lips tugged into a spine chilling smairk."Tick tock.Tick tock."She bagan and goosebumps rose on my flesh."The mouse climbed up the clock."She paused and snmiled at her."Then never climbed down again."

I stepped back ,senes tingling."Sasha,"I began."What the hell?"

She stared at me with her blue eyes ,too dazzlying blue and too wide."You heard me?"My breathe hitched.Her eyes were vacant like a creepy doll.My nerves went highwire.

"W–Whats up with you ?"

"With me ?"She scoffed,"I dont know but you should ask Thalia instead ?"

Run,run,run.

So I did.Away from whatever happened to my friend.My best freind.My only freind.

What have I done ?

The day crawled and Thalias odd behaviour was even noticed by our Teacher at freaking Alegebra and throughout the entire class.She didnt do even a peep.My heart wrenched in my chest as I dug my fingers on the sides of the table hard.

Oh God.

"Miss Onhinwaa ,kindly remove your head from the table, please ?"The teacher asked ,his ponted stern gaze on Thalia as she snapped her head towards him and froze.Then he crossed his arms over his chest with an eyebrow raised.Thalia snapped her head ,wrapped her arms around herself and made her self small and blinked as if she been forcefully woken up.The air in the class was sucked off and everyones eyes where glued to her.Whispers and chatter spread around the room.

A lump bobbed in my throat as I watched her my concern grew taller by the minute."Miss Ohinwaa?"He repeated ,his tone clipped as she blinked then he placed his chalk down ,realised a heavy sigh and placed his chckerboard with a thud."You ve been acting strange all day ?"Then he pused and rubbed his temples,"And here I thought ,you were a bright student and now ,you are slacking.I am very disapponted in you—in all of you.Is this what you do all night instead of studyig but hanging out on Twitter and Youtube."He lectured."Your grades are pluminating and your contstant absence."

Thalia bowed her head and thumbed her fingers ,her face hot with embrassment.Students peered and gawked at her and bits of chatter but he wassnt done."This is what happens when you slack and waste your valuable time on the interweb."He made an error but no one bothered to correct him as a meek raised head went down and a student snickered.

She fingered her thin ,bright blue cradigan.Then he shook his head.Then she eyed me with sad,teary eyes."Can we talk ?"she lowered her voice and stood in front of me

.My eyes snapped to her with an audible gasp."Oh,"

The air was sucked off my lungs as we both left the class as eyes stung my back and the ceiling pressed onto me.Whispers exploded from the class as I followed her out into the hallway with every stride felt heavy and thick near the locker lined hallway with her eyes downcast.

"Sorry,"she apogised ,her voice soft then she stared at me ,really stared at me with eyes that swirled in the light.

Strange.

It chruned the surface of the ocean and whirled like an incoming storm as a shudder ran through me as I shook my head quickly as if I had be yanked out of a nightmare.She just stared then blinked.

"For what?"I asked as she shuffled her feet.

"for brushing you over."She realised a sigh and shuffled her feet.Another soft gasp.Then I waved my hands.

Then I leaned forward as my eyebrows creased ,"Are you sure its okay?Did something happen? Was it your dad —"

She cut me me off ,"No,everthing is fine."Then she realised a heavy sigh."Its something else ,okay?"

Something else ?

I twindled with my thumbs then eyed the white tiled floor."T–Then are you still coming this Saturday?"I asked ,my voice rose to a pitch as red climbed my neck.

Something in her eyes lit up.She nodded and grinned.My lips tugged into a smile.

Are you you are okay ?

Thalia spun on her heels and strode off but something in my eyes flashed rgen I bolted towards her."Thalia."My voice raised,"If there is anything bothering you just anything.You can tell me ,okay?"She only gaped at me as relisatin dawned to me that I tugged her sweater sleeve.My blood ran cold as my skin turned to the colour of an overriped tomato.

Shit.

Her eyes landed on me then I sloewly removed my hands from her sleeve.We met each others gazze for a hit minte and she tore her gaze from me and bounded down the hall.

I stood there stunned.

I returned back to the class ,my heart heavy and my emotions pressed onto my back.Second thoughts clouded my vision and deep within me I couldnt help but be worried that something bad was going to happen.With a final breathe ,I glanced over my shoulder and watched her with her back turned.Her familar blue cardigan and skirt but she stood there frozen,as still as a statue.I gulped.

I had a bad feeling about this.

***

Before I knew it Saturday arrived ,as if a truck had ran me over.Thoughts of whatever happened last week haunted me.Thalias behaviour ,Sasahas and that mean prank that the teacher played on her.The humilation.All I knew that something real bad happened and made her a wreck.

But on the other hand ,excitement bibbled inside of me.I darted backa nd forth like a bee as questions swarmed my head overwired and my haert hammered in my chest.I felt drunk and free and a giggle escaped my throat while pink creeped up my neck and nose.My mother stood there with arms crosssed over her chest and a deep frown.

The realisation slammed into me as I stopped mid run and my eyes widened arond the place I lived.I cursed under my breathe nad whirled around.And I could foreee that evverthing,abosultely everthig could go very ,very wrong.Dogshit.The urge to cry was strong but I was a big boy ,fouteen not a whiney kid.I surived a godmamed haunted house for gods sake.For once.I lived in an apartment not a house like Thalia.It was small flat and super cramped and very ugly.

"Shit!"

Secondly:It was next to buliding ,skysacrpers and busy ,loud roads and loud chatter not the quiet ,bone chilling suburban neighbourhood.A place where a trumatised yet privilgived girl like Thalia was not accoustumed too.

Double shit.

Thridly: This place was still a dump and people were loud.the creaky floorboards ,the insults amd the familiar smell of crigertea bd other dangerous drugs wrafted theough the floorboards and people doing adult stuff.Thalia was tsill pissed when she finally found out that plastic ,sticky thig was on someone and somewhere.She still gave me a hard time as a shudder ran through my veins.But I guess the noises would be just like home.A scream locked my throat as my mother watched me and my dramtic moment as she realised another haeavy sigh and ran her hands down her face.

Thalia had every right to be angry when she found out but to me it was abit overkill when she marked my math tests with zeros and ticks instaead of the usaul.Everthing was quiet as her quick fingers marked on the thick sheets of stappled paper she gave me with an awful thud us a punishement.The room was thick and heavy with tesion and her silent treatment was not fun as tried to make jokes as she scrolwed at me with teary eyes ,ingnored me and huffed.She was glued to her work like a workaholic on a deadline.

Thalia found a condom underneth her fathers bed and she knew her father regulary cheated on her mother but she never knew what he used to prevent pregancies and other shit.When I told her affter she fumbled with it with confusion and curiousity.It was slimy ,droopy and made of some sort of plastic and when I told her waht it was she dropped it ,darted out like a bee and the bathroom door slammed shut.Her cries ,hurled insuts aimed at her father for being a cheater ,how gross it was and her causelly insulting me too.Then she dissolved into sobs as the sink gurgled in the drain.I stood in front of the door as I pressed my ear to it and heard her sniffles and cries.Water sprouted with deep pressure then as it stopped so did her cries.

The door opened and Thalia stepped out as she wiped her face and sniffled.Her hands were wet and she narrated all the things she did to get rid of it.Soap ,detergeret and hot and cold water and washed nurmerous times.And maybe ,a bit of crying.She told me how it felt then she lifted her eyes to me ,her expressioned hardened and —sad even.I didnt know how to comfort her as her hard ,brown eyes almost black in the light that flickered above us.I instintively stepped bacjk as her hands curled to fists then she glared at her as if I betrayed her.

Forced ,shaky laughter escaped my lips as I attempted to make a joke to tap out the smouldering fuse."I hope he showered after."

Her glare faded then her voice trembled and cracked,"I cant believe he did this ?"I stared at her then she glared at me so hard that she could barbucue me or as if I stabbed her.She doubled back and gaggged,"T–Thats so digusting.Nate."She groaned."I wish you never told me that."And with one teary look she stormed down the stairs and left with only the lights that flickered over head.And the writhing shadows and the dark concerners.

***

My eyes darted from the television screen ,the light illumiated a dance video from MTV to the ratty ,old couch made of worn leather and fluff that oozed from it to the ratty ,old timey fridge which hummed loudly like a broken facuet.Thalia was uncultered and knew nothing about entertainment and I was going to educate her on it.She lived under a very ,heavy rock.

My mother pursed her lips thin ,stared at me quizzly with her brows raised.She glanced through with long deep choccolate curtain of hair and placed her hands on her hips.

"Are you sure about about this ?"Mom asked for like the tenth time in the afternoon.

I stood next to a table and kintted my brows while I shuffled through my rented Harry Potter CDS.I was kid high on sugar and my eyes darted back and forth as I eyed the stack of CDs piled near me.My wild green eyes landed on my mom with an aperent frown,"About what ?"I couldnt help but eye other movies that we could watch like Twilight and Supernatural.I hoped that she could watch others.

"Well,"She paused then spoke slowly,"Inviting her.I have work and clienets to attend too."

It was quiet apart from the fun ,upbeat beat thump from the TV and the hum of the mircowave.The house wasnt funny stocked and the frigde was half full and the bin was swallon with thrash

Shit.

My whole body tensed and dropped the CDs onto the table top.All I felt was digust."Mom ,why ?"I shrieked as I hastlity placed my hands on my ears as thoughts flashed in my mind."I dont need to hear this"I threw my head back.

My mom bit her lips as if she couldnt contain her laughter or my reaction was a joke."Youre fourteen."She began as if I didnt know that."You know that I am a barsita."

I removed my hands from my ears and shook my head."Yeah,I know that but you know you do more than barista–ing."My ears turned pink as I tried not to hide my digust.

She nodded.Then I realised a sigh and rubbed my forehead.Yeah ,I knew that.I knew that we didnt have much money and we could barely afford rent because we or so happened to live in a place like Toronto not the small towns.I knew my mother did odd jobs and maybe more things just to get us some extra trash or even for her own pleasure.

As I kid ,I whitnessed laughter and slurred words.The floorboards creaked and in the shadows ,I saw my mother and some guy in the strange illumination an the odd loud sounds they produced on the couch.But it wasnt just one guy and I often saw those things till I found professinal ways to block them out.

With that I turned even redder and fell on my jean-cladded knees and hopelessly tapped under for any adult things to throw away.My mothers footsteps echoed on the ground as she realised a sigh.

She paced behind me in a ring and thre her hands."What type of girl is she any way ?"She repiled.

I bit out as I found cigertte burns ,the strong pressence of smoke that hanged in the air as I smacked my chest and coughed my lungs out. Right under the couch used wrappers and thhrash and unused cigerettes..Another sigh escaped my lips as I propped onto my back and spread my legs on the couch.My feet covered in wool–socks.I cocked my head and watched the music video with longing as they moved their bodies.

Maybe just maybe was the highlighting reason why I ,Nathaenial Rayeas was like thhis.A young man almost fifteen and not quite yet was perverted and exposed to material that wrapped my tiny ,impressionable brain.

"S–shes a conseravative—a girl raised from some."I repiled ,my shoulders dropped.Along with my hopes.

My mother screamed in the backgroumd then she whirled.Her eyes were teary and red."Do you know what that means Nate?She wouldnt understand me.She would be judgemental and rude and snotty.You should have known that girls like her are and would be not opened minded."

"Mom—"I bit out on my feet.Back she was spuner back ,wrapped her hands aroumd herself and watched passed the window,the streeta and went beyound.I just watched her with a frown then awkwardly spun back to my CDS with a small smile.

Mom was worried about what kind of girl she was.

Bring blankets and cover the couch.I reminded myself as I caught a whiff of it and lo and behold,I spotted small glasses used and a botte of whisky in the middle of the small roumd table.

Cigertte smoke hanged on thae airand seeped onto the couch and had some old liqguid –fluids seeped into the fluff and the dirty brown leather ,which smelt revolting.At first ,I thought it was spoilt milk but as I got older it wasnt milk at all.I stuck my togue out.Ever since then I regretted ,putting my butt on that couch

Mom took a deep breathe and snapped ,"I dont think you should invite this girl over.I dont trust her or her people."

I froze as I spread another thick blanket over the couch as my eyes widened into saucers.

Her or her people.

It echoed in my mind as I snapped my eyes at her.I was taken aack as I gazed into my monsbrown eyes as tears streaaked down her slim face.My mom was liberala nd open minded so when I heard thosee words.The floor broke beneth me and the wrld blurred.

"Her or her people?Mom what dont you mean by that ?Is it because s–shes black."I echoed in disbelf.I clenched my hands into fists.I gritted my teeth and kept my hads busy by spreading the rest of my CDs on the table."Mom,is just a hangout."Trying to drown the anger which bubbled within.

"Nathenial.How can you say something like that ?I am not a racist and as your mother I have every right to deny someone from coming to my house and for goodness sake ,her family didnt feed you and left you on your own to come home by yourself.Why wouldnt I not be concerned on what type of girl she is."She lectured loudly ,her voice raised but I still kept my back turned away.Then she pressed her hands to her fingers hard and realised a heavy,sad sigh.

I took a deep breathe kenelt in front of our wooden retanglar table in front of the TV and spread my hands on the CDs as I mentally checked my checklist.Hoped to god or who ever is out that my cringey old records on our VHS tapes were delated.I also hoped that the CD recoder also worked.I was lost between Pirates of the Carribean and Mean Girls just incase Thalia looked beyound this house and would love to come over again.Which surprised me since Thalia was a nineties baby like me but she was also raised by ultra-conservative Christain paremts expcept her father.

I was so worked out which surpirsd me.Why was I so worked up ?She was just a girl hangig out with a dude.Simply normal ,right ?

I had an urge to scream but it locked in my throat.

What if Thalia hated my house or hated my taste in film or even the goddamed neighbourhood?Worry filled my head as beads of swea formed on my forehead.

But my mother wasnt done with her long rant as she tried to peruade me to call it off.

"Holy shitballs!"I screamed in sudden relisation.My room wasnt clean and on top of that ,the snacks.What about the snacks ?My room was a pigs nest—if that was even a thing.

"Holy shitballs?"My mom echoed in disbelif and quickly shook it off.

My mother was was cool and understanding to some extent—now and sometimes I got , a bit tad creative.

Nervous laughter slipped from my lips,"Yeah,"I started hoping we could change the subject."Mom like shes an artist and braely—I mean barely watches any films is like she dosent have a social life or a life for that matter."I beamed with pride when I mentioned her art no matter how morbid or werid or life damging it was.It was still art and I was no art junkie or someone who would make out with art.

My moms face scrunched with conuusion and she taped a slender finger to her pale pink lip."Well ,musuems ,cafes and other artistic places."

Then she looked at me with her coffee brown eyes wide and glossy."I do miss Sasha,"She began ,a shadow fell on me and a frown formed on my lips as I clenched and unclenched my fist.

Mom had no idea what was going on in my life.Well ,not anymore.I bowed my head with my eyes gued to the table and I knew one way or another Sasha knew what was going on and yet to come and oddly enough ,I felt like I knew deep down I knew too.

I shifted my weight and looked away,"Mom,we had a fallout !"

Her eyes widened as she but her lips.Her eyes blazed as he fisted her fists to her sides."Is it because of that girl."She snapped.

I reeled awayfrom her sharpness of her tone."Mom,no why ?"I shot back.

She huffed and paceda round her heels clicked on the wooden floor as I slowly rose from the floor and blinked at her.I followed her gaze."Nathenial A.J Rayeas.I have heard super concerning things about that girl and that goddamned neghbourhood.That for one ,why on earths does this girl invite guys to her house or the fact shes ran way nad called the mother freaking police on her parents.And now you ask me ,why wouldnt I deny her into this house when she is bad infulence and that kind of girl Girls like Thalia are girls you should watch out for."Mom lectured.

I was quiet but then it settled in the house.Nothing was shared but my moms heaing chest and the beep of the mirowave and the television.

Then she took a deep breathethen smiled."Remember all the sleepovers you used to have.You guys were so cute and come and watch movies together and hang out in the park as kids.I prefer that you guys hang out instaead of this girl.I know Sasha.Why dont you make amneds with her ,Nate ?Why cant she come over instead?"My mother suggested ,her eyes wide with longing.

She didnt like change ?

I opened the mirowave and collected freshly popped popcorn ,warm and buttery and poured in onto a bowl then rifled through a plastic bag and tore open some cheese puffs and transfered it onto anoter bowl.I barely balanced both bowls asmy mother lingered behind me.

"Mom,we had an issue.Thats it and is it because we broke up.Well,were still freinds tho."She kept muttering about how cute we were.I described the state of our "romance " that you broke up with me.That the fact that our romance was short lived but hey ,we were fraeking eighth garders,We ever kissed but barely ,I mean we barely held hands and to me pseronally ,it felt more like a freinship.

I was suddenly yanked back to eighth grade.,thrid semester when she asked me to be her boyfreind .I accepted and was surpirsed but to a month to summer break she broke up with me and shttered my heart into pieces and admitted it was one sided and saw me as a brother instead.

Everyone knew about it and spread like wildfire in the whole other three classes ,at hme and I cried consatntly ,locked myself and avoided everyone for a while.My mom believed that I made her uncomfortable and she pushed us on dates whever we hanged out platonically.

"Please ,invite her instead."Mom pushed.

I whirled to her my anger at its peak."Mom,shes gay.Shes a lesbian."She froze and I threw my arms."You know that and that was the reason why we broke up with me.Shes in the closet mom and only dated me so no one would suspect her.Mom,its fine."I blurted.

She froze but she was hopeful that someway and somehow we would date or I avoided Thalia like she wishes.My shoulders drooped.My mom wasnt wrong about everthing like Mother Knows Best from Tangled.But how on earth was I going to tell her about my upside down and imside out world filled with death ,monsters and carnarge.She was right about the neighbourhood and Thalia herself.Well,half of it anyway.

Sasha was attracted to girls ever since she turned twelve and I knew that and right after we broke up and she told me about her rebelioous nature and rocky house was reflected with her attudide at school.

My mother was a rocky boulder and seemd unfazed."Well,I still prefer her to a girl who makes guys stay long."

My room was a mess and hoped that we would nver go in there.With my strewn underwar and chruned dirty clothes and umade bed would give her a heart attack.

Then I took a deep breathe and stood in front of door with my hands clasped in my back.

"It feels like a date."my mother muttered;

"Mom."

I began to wait and watched the time on my watch.It was excatly two pm in the afternoon.I waited and waited.Then my mother sprang her phone from her pocket after it vibarated as she souna nd tapped it from her adult pjamas.I resisted the urge to sigh then she gave it to me.I Felt lika kid in a candy store.A smile tugged my lips.

I am leaving the house.Thalia texted.A giddy feeling washed over me.

Then with quick fingers,I typed the address.

Be there soon.She repiled instantly.Then I began my quest to wait and held my moms Nokia as my mom watched me with crossed arms and sad eyes.

I waited and waited.The I watched the ticks that meant she saw.I stood there nd tried to picture my reaction and things to say.

I waited then the phone vibrated.I am almost there.

Hours passeda nd passed but I stood there.My heart heavy in my chest as I realised a igh.My nothers footsteps receded then vanished.I shoved my ahnds into my pockets and fumbled with the tickets in my pockets with a digusted frown.It was useless.The time stamped I booked was gone now.Poof like the wind nad wasteful.The window reflected a warm orange light and the sun started is descent.Right now,I sat on the ratty couch and fumbled with my moms Nokia now hot an limp in my palm.The orange sun washed over the room as my mother returned dressed a tight balck dress and apron round her waist.She sighed as her heels clicked and placed a soft plam on my shoulder.I averted y body and held th pillow.

My eyes darted to the popcorn ,now stale and cold and the CDs shuffled on the table unused and unwatched.My mother was dreesed as I watced her with teary eyes ,blnked and wiped my tears.

"S-She was supposed to come.Wouldnt see make it?"She placed her slender palms and cradled my face and tried to soothe my criesnad I sniffled and clenched the throw pillow tight.I sniffled M eyes was red as I slowly watched the Toronato nightlife blared to life with light with the sky blended from fiery orange and blue as the sun took its rays with.

It was five pm.

I tapped the table and clenched the phone.Anger clouded my vision and I watched the app.The ticks were still there and so was the messages flooded with me asking for her whereabouts and and just greeting and foolishy clingning to the pitiful strings of hope.

Last seen and ticked was at two fifty pm.

Thalia stood me up.

"I feared it would happen.I am sorry."Then the door slammed shut.My mother left me as the house was empty and stars twinkled in the stars.And my mother resumed her job as a self employed sex worker and barista.