Tw:mentions of assault, mild violence ,strong language
October 2011

    Hayely turned on her heels and strutted past, but she knew all eyes were glued to her back, but she kept her head down and blinked her tears away.
The pain gutted her insides because of someone she trusted.The new girl who she liked turned out to be just like Diana.They deserved each other.It was painful.
     She had one person she needed to vent to :James.
She wanted to hug him tight , cry, and vent.
     Her flats slammed on the stairs as she ascended.Other students whispered and turned to her when they saw her.
Hayley heart cracked and shattered onto a thousand pieces.All she wanted to was. To cry and disappear.And all of it was  all Thalia's fault.And hers to for trusting a girl like her.A clone of Diana and her tribe of wannabes and hyenas.She should have known
   How could she be so stupid.
She wrapped her arms around herself ,sniffed and bowed her head at the Junior hallway as they eyed her like rats in sewer.It didn't help not one bit with her colored  beads ,pigtails and bright sweater.She blinked like a becon.
   She should have known what an absolute werido Thalia was.It was all a coy.A lie.An attention seeker just like Diana.
  It was all written in her outfit:the ugly sweaters ,her long sleeves and leggings, and so-called shyness.
She lifted her head ,wiped her tears with her hand  and stared at James crowded by a group of guys----his friends  and they were livid.Bodies tensed ,locked jaw, and rigid bodies.
He was cornered by his friends who looked anything but happy.The blonde boy had his head bowed and eyes locked to the tiled floor as whispers carried into the oddly quiet hallway.Even the janitor ,Jim a tall broad man in his old age peeked out and held his broom.
  "How the fuck did we get here ?"A tall skinny boy with a cap snapped.James pursed his lips as the boy stalked forward and slammed his fist on the locker.James turned his head and avoided him."dude."He repeated ,clipped and angry.
  Hayely unwrapped her arms and watched the scene unfold.Lights and cell phones waved in the air as students who weren't busy peeked out of the classes to gawk.
  "Fight."A boy cried.Like hungry hyenas they proweled.
  With a soft voice and hands dropped, he was defeated at James sides."I didn't do anything wrong."He answered.A collected gasp and shocked expression rippled through the crowd.
   A lump got stuck on Hayleys throat as a gasp escaped hers.
  "You didn't do anything wrong ?"The boy interrogated, mocked and repeated.His buddies looked at in downright confusion as they whispered among themselves.The guy looked around and clenched and unclenched his fist.Then he swung his fist on the locker he dodged abd sidestepped."What type of answer is that !You James got a Freshman pregnant.A young innocent girl pregnant.And you sit your sorry ass and say I didn't do anything wrong."He went on as the others looked amongst each uncomfortably but nodded tensed.
  James gnashed his teeth.The angry boy went on."I felt so damn digested when you asked a damn fourteen year old girl out."he laughed,long and forced, then jabbed his chest."What is wrong  with your godamned  mind ? For a guy, a junior asks a freaking freshman out ?You hear me."He scoffed ,shook his head, then stepped back as another stepped forward.
   The room pipped with interest as cell phones waved in the room as laughter and whispered echoed.
  "Man ,I felt so damn embrassesd to have you as a team, Captain.Our leader and our friend and yet you did shit like this."A   curly haired boy went on."And people know and does not represent us well.At all."
  "Everytime you brought her I felt so icky and annoyed because it felt so wrong  because what would others think.That we prey on girls for fun."A chubby boy said
"Guys ,"He said ,rose his head up to the seething guys who got ready to corner him.
  "You a predator."the first guy yelled."If you don't feel shit . There's something wrong with that mind.Cause only a werdio would date girls backwards."he nodded and yelled."Yeah you hear me.Thid guy dated girls who were younger.God knows how low he could go."he gestured with his hands to everyone to listen.Then he glared at him."Not my Captain.We had always been uneasy about her."
  "Guys ,I learned my mistake.I -I started to feel bad and werid."He replied.
  A gasp escaped her lips as she felt her insides churn.
  "Well no shit."The boy screamed."Can't believing I'm saying this but the kid was right.Thought he was insuffable and annoying as hell but he was looking out for ghost girl."
Her hands fell to her sides ,her eyes glossy and the pain fresh as the crowd filled with different aged teens who sneaked  and slipped here.Their gazes landed on her. And they pointed as some watched her with interest,sympathy  and some digest and anger.
  "What do you mean you learnt your lesson."She croaked ,her voice high pitched.
  The crowd looked among as others dispersed  as James snapped his gaze to her with his lips pulled onto a shock gasp.His eyes was bloodshot and his faxe defeated.He gulped and avoided her gaze as she repeated.
  "When ?"She shrieked.
  "When Nate protested harder got me thinking."He replied ,his back glued against the locker.
  She blinked back tears as the guy in charge grunted."so jnstead of being a man and breaking up with her.You hid it like a wimp.You freaking lead her on."He laughed.
  Another boy with long dark hair replied."Even if I had friends in younger grades just the thought of being friends disgust me  but the thought of dating is roadkill."
  "Ever since you dated this girl ,I've been grossed out and on high akert.You  are probably using her.You are our captain. Our leader.You don't just represent  us ----you represent the school as a whole and the group.If this gets out ,we're doomed.I really wished we could have done a reelection.Man,you are an amazing player and things but this is better."
   He choked on his words."Guys."he repeated but the avoided his gaze but when it landed on hers.It softened to sadness  abd pity.
  The main  bot stalked forward, grasped his shirt and slammed his backon the locker as the crowd behind went wild and yelled Fight  and others were worried yet scared.
   The others joined as they switched their fists and pushed him hhe locker as he crashed on the ground where the kicked and hit him hard.He narrowly hid his face as his grunts echoed in the tensed hall.Pople flashed pictures abd recorded as others looked for auntiries or returned to class as quickly as they arrived.
The main guy straightened his back and cracked his knuckles."What you did Is literally assault by  law because legally she can't consent but you obviously pressure her."He snapped and leaned forwadd."So do you know what that means?You could go to jail.Loose your life and 'respect '.Your highschool and college life is ruined.Your life is now in the registry."
  "I-I didn't mean too."he croaked,his voice hoarse as he struggled to move his body.His back was still against the locker with spread legs.He groaned and  rubbed his brushed arms.His lips wad red and swoolwed and his elbow was purple and his ribs were bruised.
  "Piece of shit."He spat.
  He painfully turned his head."I was so angry and disappointed in myself abs sgat I did was wrong.I was stressed-----"
  "Bullshit.So you did something unthinkable.You really are a coward and lowlife."
Hayely was frozen in place as she whinessed the scene unfold as her heart hammered.The wild was frozen and her head swarmed with either shock or morning sickness.She didn't know which.But it was terrifying.She wanted them to stop.She screamed at them but they only watched her with pity.
  One by one ,all the boys stepped  forward and talked about their feelings. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and drag him out of there  but everyone glared at him and avoided his shifty protests.
  He struggled to get up as his bottom lip swelled as he barely escaped a punch.The boy grabbed his shirt and pushed him over.
   "Tell her what your plan is ?"The boy  explained as the others exchanged confused looks."Tell them."
He hacked a cough and got on his knees and looked at her with a gaped mouth."I'm sorry."he mouthed.She stepped back and her face contorted with confusion."I'm leaving."
  She felt the world stop and ears fell death.
  "Leaving."She echoed.Reality settled in as the ground gave way."Leaving where."As she reacted,the others tensed and glared at him as the boy crossed his arms over his chest.
   "To Montreal."
  A gasp escaped her lips as anger boiled within her.
Someone in the crowd took a picture and others watched.She felt her heart Crack like porcelain.
  "You're leaving and you didn't tell me?"She croaked as she her legs turned into noodles as he averted his hurt gaze which lacked warmth  now replaced with heat.
  "I'm young."He defended ,hands clasped to his sides.
 
    "So am I."she echoed.
     "I can't be in this."He retorted as the guy behind  him him hooted.
   People in the crowd just  watched James in a new light and it wasn't bright.
  All Hayely felt was pure betrayal them the guy smiled then placed his palm on Jame's shoulder and squeezed it hard as he avoided the lanky boy taut and gnashed his teeth.She felt used.Tainted  and disgusted with herself.

  James was embrassesd,angry and hurt but he was lucky that his blonde bags hid his eyes which was glossy.He impregnated his girlfriend ,ruined her trust ----everyone's own and his reputation and  if his parents found out.He'll be in deep shit  and everything he worked for  and the strong brick foundation would  shatter and collapse.All his work.Gone because of his anger and disgust with himself as he clenched his fist.It was all that little shit Nate and his weedy friend.If this was kept low ,he could've done something  call a a friend or get pills.Now he could only glare at the idiot who stood beside him with a pearly grin  with curly brown hair.
  He pressed his lips to his ear and whispered low enough to hear."You get what you  fucking deserve."Then he forced James gaze from the locker with a tight squeeze to the girl ---his ex for running her life---and his.
  It was all his fault.
"You ruined a young girls life.And I'mgoig to expose you."He warned then left him and grinned to the rest."See this guy is a flaming piece of shit . He's a coward . He's leaving  her to deal with  this.God knows if she's not the only one.He can't be  our captain and he got a girl pregnant."He laughed."Amd he led the poor girl on and made her think he'll stay."Then he stood beside him as his teammates watched him in horror and betrayal that their captain is leaving."You really are a selfish piece of shit."
James dropped his hands and eyed her with a cold mask then walked away.They eyed him and Hayley followed suit but diverted with new tears that pricked her eyes.She clasped her palm to lips as her already wet face was close to being wet.She felt bile rose up her throat.As she passed the hallway ,the janitor slammed the butt of the mop and pretended to mop to cause the students and later a teacher in a black pencil skirt ,beads on her necklace and a buzz cut clapped loudly for the others to leave and warned the others of detention.
  Maybe it was digust or heartbreak or even morning sicknesss that made her sick.She could have hurled her snack out.
  He turned on his back and walked down the stairs but  he eyed her with a glance ,a huff then dead silence.
  She felt so stupid that this guy actually cared.
  A girl with braids stared at her then whispered to her friend with red braids."Heard he knew her since she was in 8th grade."
  "Oh God ,that's sick."she replied with a loud  gag then hurried down the stairs.
  Others glared at her or sympathizes with her but others called her stupid and idiotic for thinking an older guy liked her and others said she deserved it.Others pointed at her ,laughed or eyed her in digust now she was seen as a leper in her school.They called her names and called her slut or a whore.
  She knew Diana would love drama it was just her like a mother to a flame or a bee to honey but Thalia surprised her.Maybe they  where secretly friends  that sent a digested shiver down her spine.
    She walked to class only at the middle of a lesson as she walked she felt  holes bore onto her pastel sweater.Who didn't know that bright colors made her obvious as a peacock surrounded by chickens.Diana snickered then stenched her glossy lips into a cruel smile ,her grey eyes pierced her but she could only glare.With a sigh ,she sat on her seat and sent a glance at Thalia,a few rows ahead.Her head on the table on the desk.She heard the whispers and stares.
  The speaker cackled and buzzed,"Mrs Pho and Mr Asher please make way to the principals office."The message buzzed through the intercom as others softly gasped ,wished her luck  and others tried to contain their laughter.The physics teacher turned on her heels and raised a brow as Hayely rose up from her desk and quietly left the class.
  At the stairs,James followed suit head still bowed and as quiet as a graveyard.Hayleys mind was clouded with thoughts.If this got out ---it did.Outside school the school would get publicity and probably a tarnished  reputation.The school blog ,Diana blog ,twitter and word if mouth .It won't only rruin hers but also James.They opened the door and entered as the principal office.
   "You two are in huge trouble and I expected better.Your actions could destroy both of your lives."She warned ,her voice stern and narrowed her eyes.
Under the  hot gaze ,James balanced his elbow on the chair  and looked away then the principal landed on him."Mr Asher as a  older student I expected you to be better than date someone way younger than you.You are the captain of our school's sports team and doing this is not good.If you assaulted this poor girl then I should alert the police and  if it was consensual  the law is law."
     The principal went on about calling their parents respectively about the issue and immediate suspension until  further notice.
   "I would call almost the other students responsibile for the runout itself and handle it.You  are dismissed."She concluded,not a smile in sight but her eyes were glossy with disappointment."We must also improve health class---for everyone."
   Hayley shoved her hands into her pocket of her sweater and pulled out her iPad and plugged in her earphones.The only song  she needed to hear to calm herself was Bruno Mars.
  Just the way you are.
  This was their song but now it pained her with him going to Montreal and forced pregnancy and bullying was enough for her.
   She couldn't believe she let this happy about her being easily persuade  that he pressured her at the backseat of his car.She did buy a pill but it was to late for her.
  She was fourteen.
She couldn't believe that the following year she would have given herself to him by then she would be older and more mature and have smarter ways to prevent pregnancy.Now she wisged she hadn't.She could either leave to go home or wait till her parents arrive but she chose the latter.
Cause girl you're amazing just the way you are.
This used to be their song now it only represented pain and heart.
    When I see your face.
The bus ride was long and agonizing till she the thin tower.
        -----

H

ayley dropped her satchel on the  carpetted ground of the apartment as she sighed and closes the door softly.The room was thick and hot  with  herbs and spices wafted into the living room and it was thick with heat.The radio which sat on the table spoke a commentary in Cantonese as oil hissed and chopping noises echoed from the kitchen.
    The house was decanted with New Year flags and lanterns.On the walls were photos of a younger Hayely in Loas, at a gymnastics  event and her parents at a funeral.
   Halyely sighed ,long and sad."Yāy,I'm home."
    Hayley sighed and looked around the house.It was home.Loud footsteps echoed on the floor as her Gran muttered insults in Thai.
    "Oh ,what are you doing here ?"Gran snapped ,eyes wide in confusion."lah ,look at time.Schoools not over."Her brows went up when she gestured to the table.There was a bowl of dim sum and pad Thai  noodles.
  Gran was a sixty something year old woman dressed in an stained  apron and a red dress with a round stern  face and short black hair. Then she scrunched her face but she was tall."school not ended now.I call school ."
    "No,"Hayely said as she removed her pastel sweater and earphones.
   Her Nan  scrunched her face and looked at the house cell."School called me."Her eyes trailed Hayely with anger."Ah,you stupid you cause  trouble?"
   Keys jiggled as the door opened as Hayeky turned her head to see her parents and they were both angry and horrified.Her mom crossed her arms on chest and her father hands on hip."Hayely Apinya .Did you just get suspended?"her mother screamed.
  "Yes ,mom."
   Gran got her wooden spoon and wacked her shoulder."You got suspended?"
    Her mother was slender with black hair went past her shoulders."For what ?"
    "For ...pregnancy."
  All of their jaws went slack as her mother looked as if she would faint as her husband looked drained of all colour.
   "My råk,"He exclaimed then regained himself."Whose the father ?"
  Hayey wrapped her arms around herself .She wanted to disappear as she sniffed abd wiped her eyes but her dad softened."W-where you assaulted?"
  "No,"Hayeky replied and shook her head."I wasn't.James is the father."
  Her mother eyes almost burgled out of her sockets as she ran her hands on her face.She pressed her hands on the desk as her Gran dropped the spoon with a chatter."Nice boy!"as her father went to place his hands on her back to steady her mom.
  "James is my boyfriend."Each word was a bullet to her family as her mom's leg turned to jelly.
   "Nice boy."Gran croaked.
    "How long has been going on?"Her mother forced out.
   "Since last term."
     "This us wrong.You are a child.He was your friend."
    She dropped her hands to her sides.It was all Thalia's fault.Diana's fault  and hers for liking James.
   "He took advantage of you."She sniffed as her eyes trailed the Persian carpet.Nan didn't force anyone to remove their shoes.