So, there I stood at Ezra's wedding... yeah, I decided to go.

Before you reprimand me on what a stupid fucking idea that was; I get it, you don't even need to say it. I spent weeks pondering about whether I should go or not. Dahlia thought it was a horrible idea, and Ajit didn't really have any thoughts at all.

I've been on and off about whether I would be actually attending the wedding up until even a couple hours before the wedding. It was a big "if" for a while.

Then, I realized how freaking insignificant we are in this huge world, and how if I didn't go, I might've regretted it for the rest of my life. I'd rather regret the things I did do than the things I didn't. So all of this philosophy led me here.

I awkwardly stand near the entrance of the large outdoor venue of Azra Ashton's wedding. The same Azra Ashton who I dated for a while throughout high school and college, the same one that broke my heart multiple times, and not to mention the one that I killed my father with. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I'd show up at his wedding. Hell, actually, high school me would've thought that I'd for sure be at his wedding, but as the bride.

I didn't really have those strong feelings anymore. Time really did heal all. So, I didn't really feel any jealousy or anything, but it just felt really odd being here.

It also felt pretty awkward to be here, not knowing anyone other than the groom. I hated putting myself in positions where I didn't know anyone. I asked Dahlia to go with me, but of course, she had to go to work.

I hadn't even seen the groom yet, but that was a given. I probably see him when the ceremony would start.

"The ceremony is about to start in forty minutes, be sure to find a seat before then," somebody shouted.

I was thankful for his announcement because it meant that now all I had to do was find a seat and sit down. There wasn't assigned seating or anything, which also was a bit stressful because I didn't want to come between a family or something.

I decided to sit at the back left corner on the left side. That was distant enough. I still had a lot of time to kill before the ceremony started. Even though, there was an abundance of time before the ceremony started, since that guy had encouraged people to take their seats, I noticed a bunch of the seats were filling up quickly. It was good that I found one or else I would've been stuck standing up.

"Is it all right if I sit here?" A familiar voice asked.

I looked up and I couldn't believe who I saw. My lips parted slightly, "V-Varun?" I stuttered.

His eyes suddenly lit up, as I saw him connect the dots in his head, "No fucking way, Tara?" he exclaimed.

I nodded quickly, as I stood up and without thinking, I dove in for a big hug. He wrapped his arms around me, and his fresh laundry scent overtook me. God, I missed him. He rubbed my back gently while still in the hug.

"Wow, it's been a while," he said.

I unhooked myself from him and properly looked him in the eyes. He had a little scruff now that made him look older and incredibly more handsome. His hair was a little taller and his show was more defined. His build was a bit more muscular, and he matured a lot. Other than that, he was just simple, old, Varun.

I felt like my eyes were playing tricks on me. It was incredibly comforting to see him again. He was like my old favorite song that I knew all the words to, and one that I suddenly remembered.

"What're you doing here?" I asked, still in disbelief.

Varun took a seat, and so did I. "I- I'm a good friend of Sarah's, the bride. How about—-" he stopped himself when he realized.

"Ezra invited me," I said, honestly.

Varun nodded slowly, "I didn't realize that you two stayed close all these years," he said.

I shook my head, "If I'm being completely truthful, we actually haven't spoken in like 10 years. I was just as shocked as anyone when I saw him invite me to his wedding," I said.

"Really? He just invited you out of nowhere?" Varun asked. I nodded. "Interesting," Varun said.

"Hello everyone! We're experiencing some delays with the wedding party, it maybe an hour or so or possibly longer. Please stay patient with us," A guy announced.

I heard the guests around me groan, and begin shuffling out of their seats. Varun and I stayed seated.

"So, how's Ajit?" Varun asked.

"He's pretty good," I said, "He's still with Dahlia and he really likes his job."

Varun's eyebrows rose in shock, "They're still together? Good for him," he said.

That's when it hit me. Ajit hadn't gotten a chance to reconnect with Varun and to possibly invite him to his wedding. Maybe this was the universe's way to make that happen.

"Uh, Varun," I said.

"Yeah," he said, quickly, straightening up his posture.

"I just wanted to let you know that Ajit and Dahlia actually recently got engaged, and they were trying to find a way to contact you to invite you to the wedding. Since we happened to just meet her, I thought I'd tell you about it," I said.

"Oh..." Varun said, slightly slouching again, "Yeah, uh, I'll think about it."

This time I raised my eyebrows, "You'll think about it? Come on, Varun, you've been this guy's best friend for a big chunk of your life."

Varun nodded, "Yeah, I know... it's just—"

I cut him off, "No, you're going to that wedding, even if I have to personally escort you there myself," I demanded.

Varun's cheeks muffled a laugh, and my eyes widened as I realized what I had just said. Personal escort. Varun and I's very first inside joke.

He started whole-heartedly laughing, and I joined him. I couldn't help it.

"Still talking about personal escorts, I see, Ahuja," he teased.

"Shut up," I said, punching him playfully on the shoulder, still laughing.

After our laughing slowed down, I took on a serious tone again, "So, you'll come, right?" I asked.

Varun sighed, "Would he even want me there? More importantly, would you?" he asked.

I found it kind of odd that he cared more about my opinion about him being at the wedding more than the groom's.

"Varun, if I didn't want you there, would I be asking you to go?" I asked.

Varun shook his head, "No, it's just—"

I cut him off again, "There you go, you answered your own question with the first word of your sentence. No need for that other gibberish."

Varun chuckled, "Still your feisty self, I see," he said.

I laughed, of course, that could never change.

Varun's tone suddenly changed, as he cleared his throat, and said, "So, do you... have a boyfriend right now?" he asked.

"Smooth," I teased.

Whether I did or didn't really matter because it didn't phase Varun... or at least it shouldn't. I took his question as him just being interested in my life. I would also be interested in whether or not Varun had found a significant other. Even though our relationship was now purely platonic.

"I don't..." I said, "Do you, uh, have a girlfriend?"

"Not anymore," Varun said.

My eyes widened. He had recently gotten out of a relationship? I felt a slight stinging sensation in my heart, and a slight pinch of jealously. I hated myself for it. That wasn't platonic of me.

Varun's tired eyes met mine.

"I'm so sorry, Varun," I said, leaning in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me again, "Heartbreaks are just so fucking hard."

Varun scoffed, "Understatment of the century," he said.

I felt him bury his head into my neck. I rubbed the back of his hand, ruffling his hair slightly. I didn't care about the looks we were getting because at this moment I really just wanted to comfort him.

I flashed back to all the times Varun had comforted me in my dark times, and it felt right to pay him back for all of those moments.

Varun pulled away, and stared at me for a second. I could sense the hurt he felt.

"I understand the pain," I said, then I slightly laughed, "Actually our heartbreak was the worst one for me to date, and I even had a guy cheat on me."

Varun's jaw gritted, and he shifted his jaw back and forth, "Someone cheated on you?" he asked.

Damn, I forgot how protective Varun was. I nodded, slowly. I was over what happened; it occurred a while back.

"Well that guy was the biggest fucking moron of the century," Varun spat.

I chuckled at his anger directed towards this complete stranger. Well a stranger for him.

"Honestly, though, about the heartbreak thing..." Varun started, "Our heartbreak was the worst for me, too."

I was utterly shocked, "Really?" I asked. I knew Varun was deeply affected by what happened between us, but he was saying it was the worst heartbreak he had experienced? He considered it even worse than the current heartbreak he was experiencing? He was much older now, but I guess I was too, and I also considered it my worst heartbreak. 

Didn't that mean the feelings between us meant something deep to both of us or was I just reading too much into it? Were we just being young adults that were learning how to love and just being completely reckless at it?

"Yeah, it was" Varun said, "I cried every single night, which was new for me. I literally couldn't look at you and so I forced myself to create some distance between us, no matter how much it killed me inside. I was battling this internal battle with myself about how much I wanted to be in your company, but how much it killed me to be in your company. I remember, especially starting to feel the pain a lot, when I started seeing you hanging out with new guys."

My mind flashbacked to my freshman year of college. A little bit after the Varun heartbreak, I started making a lot of guy friends. I don't know how it happened, but it just did. A lot of them were friends; eventually some turned into more.

"They were my friends," I said.

Varun clicked his cheek with his tongue, "I saw you with some red head..." he said.

Ah, he saw me with Noah.

I nodded "Yeah, that's the one that cheated," I said.

Varun dropped his head, and shook it in disbelief, "Yeah, he looked like like an utter moron. I was right," he said.

I chuckled, "He graduated at the top of his class," I said.

Varun's eyes hardened, and in a stern tone, he said, "But he was stupid enough to let you go," he said.

His stare was fixated on me. It was kind of intimidating.

Trying to break the tension, I said, "Well then, he joins the Ezra, Varun, stupidity club."

Yeah, I realized it was a stupid joke, but it was the best I could think of on the fly.

Varun awkwardly stayed silent. He scanned the ground, as if he had a million words in his mind, but couldn't even make himself say one.

After a couple moments of silence, Varun finally spoke again, "If you don't mind me asking, how did Ajit react when he found out some guy cheated on you? "

"He didn't react," I simply said.

Varun nodded quickly, signaling that he understood exactly what I meant. "Because he didn't know about the relationship?" he asked.

"No," I said, "Because after our fiasco he learned to stop interfering in my relationships, thanks to Dahlia."

Varun's eyes widened in disbelief, "Damn that girl is good for him." He paused for a moment, "Why couldn't she have dated him before we dated?" he joked.

I was shocked that he explicitly stated that we dated. I mean, essentially we did, in a way, even if it was short-lived and didn't really feel like it. It just felt so odd to really label it.

"Yeah," I said.

After a couple of minutes passed, my eyes lit up, as I remembered a precious memory to share with him "Hey, do you remember that prom that you did for me?"

Varun chuckled as he looked off to the distance, "Of course, putting that together in an hour and as silently as possible is probably the reason I still have panic attacks today," he joked.

He laughed. Oh god, I'm sure it was stressful, but I didn't really think of it like that.

"But I loved every moment of it," he said, quickly.

"Nice save," I teased.

He smiled at the floor. I was sure that magical night was running in his mind right now because it sure as hell was in mine.

"I even had to convince my cousin on the fly to become an actress, and pretend she was still in makeup school when she wasn't

My jaw dropped, and I was stunned. "She didn't have a make up final?" I asked.

I realized that in hindsight that question seemed really dumb. She got me all dressed up, and claimed she was running downstairs to get a camera, and just never came back. We did take some pictures with some bad lighting before the prom thing happened, so I thought maybe that story could've been true. It was also hard to imagine that Varun and his cousin really put all that effort in just to make me happy, and with no ulterior benefit for them.

"Oops, I thought you'd have figured that out by now," he mocked.

I rolled my eyes, "Shut up," I said.

He chuckled, and I couldn't help but laugh as well at the fond memories we shared. It was a simpler time. A time that could never be forgotten, and I actually missed it. Sure, my life was way more stable now, and less of a headache, but there was beauty in the madness of that time, as well. I think there's beauty in all of the phases in our life; sometimes we just fail to see it in time.

Often we're so wrapped up in the past that we forget that we are living in a version of our past all the time. Eighteen year old "broken-hearted over Varun" Tara would be insanely angry to see Twenty eight year old Tara reconciling with Varun. Eighteen year old "completely in-love with Varun" Tara would be over the moon about it. As for Twenty eight year old Tara at the current moment, I was content, and actually quite happy to see Varun again. He always held a special place in my heart.

I stared up at Varun, and noticed that he was lost in a trance too.

His eyes met mine. "It was all just so simple back then, wasn't it?" he said.

Damn, we really were on the same wavelength. "I was just thinking that," I admitted.

He smiled and nodded, looking down. The dimples on his cheek deepened, and the sun was shining brightly on him, emphasizing his light brown honey eyes.

He'd always been a beautiful person, inside and out.

Varun caught my stare, and gave me a playful smirk. His eyes met my hair and my outfit, and I felt myself getting a bit flustered.

I thought I almost felt— no, nevermind that, I didn't.

"Tara!" A familiar voice exclaimed, "Thank you so much for coming!" Ezra said.

I shot my entire body behind me, and noticed an older Ezra dressed in black and white sitting behind me. I immediately stood up, and embraced him in a hug.

"Of course," I said, while still hugging him.

"It was a long shot inviting you, but wow... the fact that you came," Ezra said, rubbing the back of his head.

I smiled and nodded. I looked over at Varun, who awkwardly shifted in his chair.

Ezra met my gaze, and took a slight step back, "Oh wait, did you two—are you two?" he stammered.

My eyes widened, "Oh no, no," I said, cutting off Ezra's thoughts, "We haven't seen each other in ages, and we just so happened to bump into each other at your wedding of all places! He's on the bride's side," I said, quickly.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to overexplain myself. It's not like Ezra would really be affected if Varun and I had come together. He was getting married, for god's sake. Something in me just took me back to the moment when I broke Ezra's heart all those years ago. I couldn't remember if I explicitly stated it was because I had feelings for Varun or if I just danced around that fact. Either way, he definitely knew that's what the reason was, whether it was said out loud or not.

It was stupid to think of that now, though. It was all child's play, and we were adults now. Ezra was even getting married.

"What're you doing out here? Shouldn't you be prepping for the big day?" I asked.

There were so many delays in the ceremony, and I think I knew why now. Ezra seemed to be wandering all about, and not really getting ready for the ceremony. He was all dressed up, though.

"Yeah, yeah, it''ll start shortly," Ezra said quickly. He snuck a glance towards Varun, who watched him with burning eyes, and a gritted jaw, "Is there any way I could talk to you... like in private?"

I glanced over at Varun, but he didn't pay much mind to me. He was still staring at Ezra as if he were the scum of the earth.

"Oh yeah, sure," I agreed.