My OTP KiriBaku_luver helped me edit ^3^
Naming, finding/editing pictures, reformatting...the list goes on! You went above and beyond for me the last few days, more than usual! I love you, otp! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

The cover art belongs to Kirishima Eijirō - on Facebook. 
The chapter cover belongs to Kirishima x Bakugou ღ-Facebook I did a reverse search on the image to credit the artist. If this is incorrect, please tell me so that I can fix it. 

*
We were together for 9 amazing years before the love of my life has passed. It's been hell on earth since he left three months ago. 

Returning to hero work after his death proved to be more difficult than I thought. My therapist warned me to ease back in. 

"Just start with office work and add a short patrol every day if you feel comfortable. Don't force yourself and go on any missions until I clear you." I merely nodded pretending to listen. 

I needed to get back to work regardless of how 'ready' I was or wasn't. Bills weren't going to pay themselves.

Slumping back into the couch, I rested my head back. My red hair was down and uncut since that day. Black roots stuck out like a sore thumb. My hair was just passed my shoulders now, I probably couldn't spike it if I tried.

My eyes filled once more with fresh tears, thinking about how he loved my hair down. He would take every possible chance to run his fingers through my tresses, lightly scraping my scalp with his nails. This never failed in sending a shiver down my spine. 

*****

Strong arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me back into a sturdy mass. 

"Watcha cookin, Ei?" His deep voice caresses my ear with his warm breath. 

"Oh! Ha, hey, Kat, I used leftover chicken bones for a broth to make ramen but it's still got another hour". 

Kissing my neck ever so slowly he spoke between each and every kiss. 

"Whatever will we do with that time?" I can feel his smirk as he makes way down to my shoulder, peppering me in affection. 

My arm reaches up, fingers gliding across his fluffy hair from behind me. 

His lips become more feverish and needy, tongue dragging lazily across my skin. In one swift motion, I've spun around, facing Katsuki. His eyes, as similar in color to mine, are in their own right dazzling. Pools of pure ruby gaze longingly in mine. His index finger 'taps' my lower back. Mine responds on his shoulder 

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

Our nonverbal cue serves as a catalyst, closing the distance between us, our lips melting together. Moving in unison, we bump into nearly every inch of wall. Managing our way to our bed, I'm slammed into the mattress. Kat crawled his way up to me, taking my shirt in his teeth. 

"Off" mouth full of fabric, demanding my bare skin. Chuckling, I obliged.

Our lips met again and again, removing every item separating our bodies from being one. 

Grabbing the lube from my bedside table, I used my other hand to slowly stroke his impressive shaft. I only paused to apply a generous amount of lube to my fingers. As I entered him, I took his girth into my mouth, swirling my tongue around his length. 

His flushed face was panting for more and spurred me to my feet. I grabbed him by the thighs. Pouring another thick coat of lube into the palm of my hand, I stroke my length with it before slowly entering him inch by inch. I pause to back out slightly and ease in carefully until I was fully sheathed. A low groan escaped both of our lips at the pleasure, Kat's laced with a slew of curses but I digress. I picked up his upper half from our bed and held my lips close to his ear, intentionally teasing my man by licking his lobe. I didn't need to say any words with him to rile him up.

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

I thrust into him in ecstasy, his head throws back with a groan. Our bodies move together, our arms tangle, grasping at each other like it's the last time. We're a mess of groans and heavy breaths. I pick up my speed, slamming into that sweet spot. I won't last much longer and I can tell he won't either. His dick twitches and leaks, ready to burst. 

My rhythm became uneven and within a few more thrusts, I cum deep inside him, eliciting his own orgasm. Strings of white coat his chest and stomach. 

I plop down next to him with an unsteady breath.

"I love you, Katsuki." 
"I love you, Eijiro."

We lay there looking into each other's eyes, slowly intertwining our fingers and on the back of our hands we simultaneously

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

*****

Sluggishly I drag my feet through the empty apartment. I instinctively tapped the wall for the first time after his passing 

*tap tap* 

There wasn't any answer, like there had been thousands of times before, however, a feeling of comfort surrounded me like a blanket straight out of the dryer.

*tap tap*

It wasn't a game but a non-verbal 'I'm here' that Kat and I developed back in the UA dorms. Our rooms were right next to each other, our beds shared a wall. Right before bed and when he woke up, he would tap on the wall connecting our rooms. This became our own morse code,

"I'm here, I'm thinking of you"

*tap tap*

The warm comfort seeps into my core. I've been holding back my 'taps' all this time, thinking that it would hurt me.

One more on my bedside table before I have to lay in our, no, my empty, too big bed.

*tap tap*

Maybe I'll sleep restful tonight. 

Darkness. Like every other dream since I've accepted his passing. It's a boring dream but better than the nightmares that plagued my mind before. 

*tap tap* 

Light? 

*tap tap*

Color?

*tap tap*

I feel him

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

Damn alarm...I groan, smacking the snooze button with a thud. 

I feel so much more refreshed than I have in months. I actually slept sorta good. I probably shouldn't be happy about that.

Shaking those thoughts out, I need to stay positive! I can't fall back into that depression again. I'm a hero for fuck's sake! Time to man up and get back to work.

I instinctively reached out to my bedside table as I had before 

*tap tap*

Relief. 

I sat down to some breakfast, almost ready for my first day back in the office that we shared. 

I reached in front of me

*tap tap*

I can do this. 

My 'taps' are left unanswered but still, I find relief in our old routine. 

Parking in a lot of our...my agency building, my breathing becomes ragged and unsteady. Another panic attack, fuck! I'm sweating, my vision clouded.

*****



"EIJIRO! Look out!" 

*BOOM* 

I delivered one last hardened punch to the villain I was currently fighting. 
I turned to see Katsuki restraining the villain that attempted to attack me from behind. 

"Sorry, Kat..." rubbing the back of my neck, he looked unamused. 

I'm always zoning into my one on one fights, forgetting to keep vigilant of my surroundings. That's why we're such a good team, although, Kat thinks otherwise.

Finishing the knot on the villain's wrists, Kat rises and turns toward me. I'm about to be scolded. Again.

"Ei, you need to keep your eyes everywhere" 

Sighing with a huff after seeing my pouty lips, his arms grab my shoulders tenderly, 

"at lea-" he cuts himself off, eyes widening impossibly. 

I'm shoved to the ground harshly...I look up, pissed, at first. But then I see it...

Kat dropped to his knees, face contorted into a painful grimace. Blood trickled from the corner of his open mouth dripping down to his chest.

"NO.....NO.....NO.....NO!" My voice became more frantic as I declared my refusal of this situation. 

The image of Katsuki, the love of my life, on his knees holding onto something protruding from his chest. 

An image burned into my retinas. 

The object was a sharp piece of metal that must've come from a building collapsing nearby. 

He saved me.

Katsuki slumped into my trembling arms and with so much difficulty he spoke one last time. Protecting me from myself one last time 

"At least you're okay, that's all that matters to me" he reached to the side of my grief-stricken face

*tap tap*

I responded to this, his pools of ruby clouded over, his eyelids locking away his loving gaze for a moment with the longest blink imaginable.

*tap tap*

I'm still not sure if he was finished with what he was going to tell me.

Before his eyes glazed over, void of life.

"KAT!!!!!!"

*****

The vision of his last minutes on earth was too much to bear.

My heart felt like it was beating too fast and at the same time, not at all. Breathing wasn't enough and too much, the hyperventilating was too much. My skin was cold and clammy but the sweat wouldn't stop.

I reach out my hand to the dashboard and 

*tap tap*

The calm enveloped me from my tapping finger, warming the rest of my extremities, up to my heart, clearing my hazy mind.

I can do this. 

Days turned to weeks. 

Weeks turned to months since I've started 'tapping'. 

I'm still a complete mess without him but my periodic 'taps' keep me sane and out of the darkness.

At the end of a particularly difficult day without him, I reach out for the hundredth or, rather, thousandth time without him. The 'tap' still bringing me the same refreshment since the first.

*tap tap* 

*tap tap*

I sat upright. That second set wasn't me!

*tap tap*

Another response 

*tap tap*

My eyes fill with a new type of tears. A new kind of relief. He's here. Has he always been? Will he always be?

*tap tap*

Another response 

*tap tap*

I smile a genuine smile, the smile he protected till the end. The smile I lost with him. 

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

*tap tap*

It's now been 4 years since his first response to my lonely 'taps' and every 'tap' has been accompanied since. I 'tap' when I need it. He's there, almost like before. I've moved on, with his 'tap' guidance. 

I 'tap' less now but I know he's there. I don't need 'taps' to tell me he's with me, always waiting patiently for me to join him peacefully, in my own time. Oh, how I long for the day to join him.

*tap tap*

*tap tap*