KAYSEN*

Tanner walks me over to Diana, converses with her about having a housewarming party, and I couldn’t keep from laughing. The whole situation is hilarious, to be honest. She loves the idea and told us to be ready by next Saturday. Her reaction to us living together before marriage is heartwarming. She was so excited that she jumped up and hugged us and had so much excitement about the idea of Tanner and me living together that she laughed, screamed, and even cried. It’s a breath of fresh air. My mother would scold me and make me feel like scum, shit on the bottom of someone’s shoe. If she weren’t Tanner’s mother, I would wish she had been mine.

***

Tanner and I arrived home with Cora and let her watch ‘My Little Pony’ until eight-thirty. Then we helped her get ready for bed and tucked her into her brand new Mini Mouse bed. I didn’t think she would love it as much as her princess bed at my mom’s, but Cora went haywire. She loves her new room. Tanner had gone out and stocked her room with toys yesterday before coming to pick us up from Lyra and Blaze’s house. Cora had picked out her bedding last night when we had gone shopping. It coincided with the toddler bed we had gotten her. What are the odds that Cora would pick Mini Mouse stuff over Disney princess stuff? Either way, she’s beyond excited. It didn’t take us long to get her tucked in, and Tanner read her a book as I rocked back and forth in the new rocking chair Tanner and I had picked out.

Tanner and I laid on the couch with him spooning me, his hand stretched out over my belly that had protruded a little. Tanner was right. I wouldn’t be able to hide my pregnancy for long, but hopefully, we can make it another month before having to tell anyone. I would hate for everyone to get excited about the idea, and then I lost them. It’s a horrible feeling not knowing what is to happen. If I lost the babies, would Tanner want to be with me? I sighed in frustration, and Tanner tensed beside me.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Tanner asked as he sat up enough to look me in the eye.

“I’m afraid for the babies. I hate not knowing what’s going to happen. Am I going to carry them to term, or will I miscarry and lose them both? It’s so frustrating. Would you want to be with me if I lost the babies?” I said with a hitch in my breath as I looked over at the movie we were watching.

“Kaysen, can you not remember the conversation we had the day before you told me you were pregnant? Can you not remember me telling you then I needed you that you were it for me? I didn’t even know you were pregnant then. So yes, I will love you and want to be with you no matter what. I love you, Kaysen, so please don’t talk like that. We are in this for the long hall, alright. If something happens and you lose the babies, we can always try again if you want to. But for now, you and the babies are fine,” Tanner said as he ran his fingers through my long, thick, black hair.

“I’m sorry, Tanner, that I’m being so insecure. I can’t seem to think straight, and that my mother hasn’t tried to contact me in over a week has me all stressed out. It honestly makes little sense. Normally she would cause a scene, but nothing—no text or calls yelling at me or anything. The peace is nice, but I don’t like it,” I said, and Tanner turned off the television.

“Let’s go talk and watch TV in our room, alright,” Tanner said as he got up off of the sofa and then helped me up, and we walked to our room.

Tanner pulled back the duvet and helped me up in the bed, turned on the TV, and then walked over to turn off the light. He turned on the bedside light on his side of the bed so that we could see each other as we talked and then propped up the massive king-sized pillows we had gotten.

“So I talked to my dad, I mean my uncle. I know that can be a little confusing, but my uncle has always been more of a dad to me, and my dad has always been more like an uncle. Bear with me, alright.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Tanner. I understand. What did your dad say?” 

“He said that your mother has no grounds to take Cora from you. She could not take Cora away from you, even if she tried. Your mother would be waisting a lawyer’s time and your parents’ money. She could try to get grandparental rights, and that is about it. We have a roof over Cora’s head, a damn fine one at that. Cora is safe and fed and has everything she needs. You’re not on drugs, and you don’t drink. There are parents out there who are under the influence of drugs that still have rights to their children. It sucks, but it’s true. So there is nothing that your mom could say to make you out to be an unfit mother,” Tanner said as he cupped my face between his hands.

“My mother will still drag this out. You understand that, right, as crazy as that sounds. You would think my mom was old and set in her ways, but she’s only forty-three. She’s just strict beyond measure. Imagine how it was for me in high school. My mom never let me stay the night at friends’ houses or anything. She was fine with them staying over at my place. My friends never wanted to, though, because my mom monitored what we watched and listened to as far as music. My mom disallowed anything not Christian-related in our home. I’m not sure how my dad puts up with her. They don’t even sleep in the same bed, and he watches and does whatever he damn well pleases. I’m surprised my mom hasn’t given him the boot,” I said as I waved my hands around in the air as I explained to Tanner what a crazy religious freak my mother is.

“Wow, Kaysen. I’m having a hard time understanding why you moved back in with them in the first place. My birth mother was literally insane while off her medication, and sometimes even her medication didn’t help. She would flip a lid out of nowhere, bad ones where she was screaming and cutting herself. I’m not sure what’s worse. Your mother or mine, sorry to be so blunt about that matter. I’m surprised you didn’t rebel; I would have.” 

“Yeah, well, I was afraid of my mother, so I just sat there and tried to be the perfect little princess. My dad would sneak me books and movies that I watched after my mother would go to bed and he got me earbuds. So it wasn’t too bad. I rebelled a little when I got the job at the strip club, but even then, I went straight home after work every night. Except for the two nights I spent with you, and she flipped a lid both times.” We both couldn’t help but chuckle at that one.

“Well, know that she can’t take Cora away. I won’t let her, and my family won’t let her. You have a whole slew of people who care for both you and Cora now. You are not alone. We have to get up early in the morning. So let’s brush our teeth and get ready for bed. We are sitting here in our new bed with our street clothes on under the covers. It seems neither one of us is thinking clearly,” Tanner said, and we both laughed and made our way to the ensuite bathroom.

TANNER*

Last night I spooned Kaysen and held her close against me. The doctor said we could have sex, but I’m still not comfortable with it. I feel protective of her, Cora, and our babies. I hope her mother doesn’t bring out any unnecessary stress on Kaysen. She is supposed to be relaxing, and that woman keeps on with this relentless bullshit. I have been respectful up to this point, but I will not take Kaysen’s mother’s crap any longer. She better back the fuck off. I’m surprised Lyra and Vega didn’t tell that woman off while they were there. 

We had all gone to church, and everyone had come back to our place for lunch. I could get used to going to church, I think. Kaysen is breaking through all of my barriers one by one. It’s not as bad as I had always thought.

Kaysen, Lyra, and Vega were busy watching all the kids in the living room while Blaze, Jace, and I prepared lunch when Kaysen’s phone rang on the bar. I reached over to grab her phone to take it to her and saw that it was her mother. Of course, that woman would call right now.

“Kaysen, it’s your mother. Do you want to talk to her right now?” I yelled over all the kids.

“Would you mind bringing my phone over? I’ll text her and see what she wants,” Kaysen yelled back.

I walked over to Kaysen, handed her the phone, and kissed her forehead. “Maybe she will be civil. Try not to let her upset you alright,” I said, walking off.

This week of peace was too good to be true. I could feel something was about to go down.

KAYSEN*

I messaged my mom to tell her we were about to eat lunch and asked her what she needed.

‘Can you and Tanner bring Cora by here in a little while? I have not seen or talked to her in over a week, and I miss her.’ 

Her response isn’t bad. Maybe she’s learned her lesson. ‘I’m sure it would be fine, mom, if you promise not to cause a scene. The first moment you say something rude and uncalled for, Tanner and I will leave and take Cora with us. Do you understand what I’m saying? We will not be leaving her there with you alone, either. We will be staying.’

‘Yes, I don’t want to cause any problems. I just want to see Cora.’

‘We will be there in a couple of hours.’

‘We will see you then. Love you.’

‘Love you to mom.’

Why do I feel this will not go over so well? I walked over to the kitchen. “My mom wants us to bring Cora by in a couple of hours. She said she won’t cause any problems. Would you be alright with that, Tanner?” 

“Yes, that will be fine, but we are leaving at the first sign of her being rude or causing any problems.” 

“I told her that word for word pretty much.”