Present Day.

Olivia's POV.

His side of the story is worse than I imagined.

I feel like throwing up.

I feel like getting out of here, of this entire apartment building, I feel like running on that sidewalk until my legs give out.

I haven't cried, I don't know why I haven't cried but my insides are bottling up with all kinds of emotions.

I love this guy, there was a part of me that said it was just lust but right now, I know for sure that it's love cause only love can make me hurt the way I'm hurting right now.

But the question is, is this guy real?

The Jace from three years ago was nothing like this Jace. This Jace is perfect and he makes me feel safe but what if he was just doing all those things because of what he did to me? What if it was all an act? What if I'm in love with someone who doesn't exist?

I decide to snap out of my head and listen to what he's rambling about.

"Liv, please, I know I fucked up but I'm here now, I'm here for you," he pleads, stalking closer to me.

I pin him with a glare, "You're here for me?" I question in disbelief.

"Yes," he nods, his eyes gleaming with tears.

"I don't need you to be here for me, Jace, I don't need you, I was good before you moved into this apartment, I was happy. But since we're on the subject, do you wanna know who needed you?" I ask him.

He starts shaking his head like he knows exactly what I'm going to say, "Please don't do this to me,"

"The girl you left on that road," I say it anyway, "That Olivia needed you to be there, Jace, your face was the first thing she wanted to see when she woke up in that hospital bed but you weren't there, you never showed up," my throat closes up as I let the words out but I still don't cry.

"I just explained why I didn't show-"

"Fuck you!" I shove his chest in anger, "They told me I was drinking and driving, Jace, they've been telling me I was drinking and driving ever since that night and you know what? I believed it, I believed it so much that I actually had nightmares about it, about me driving while drinking, that's how good of a liar you are!"

"I'm sorry," tears escape his eyes.

"You're sorry? Look at me," I raise my arms in the air, taking a step back so he can take a good look at me, "I became this version of myself that I swore I'd never become, I was not this party girl with crazy hair and a wild personality, see, I built this personality because I didn't know who I was, I didn't know where to put myself," I breathe through my nose.

"I wanted to come and see you, I really did," he tries to come closer to me but I raise my hand in warning.

"Yeah but you didn't, am I even the one you were talking about in the cafe that day? Was I the love of your life?" I ask calmly.

"Yes, of course," his answer comes out rushed and quick.

I shake my head at him and his answer.

"You're selfish, you lie, you manipulate. Love? It's not all about that, I don't think you understand that," I say.

"No, no, no, don't say that, you're the only person I care about right now I swear to God,"

"Then why keep hurting me, huh? What kind of love is that?!" I raise my tone again.

"I just didn't wanna lose you, Olivia," he takes two long strides towards me and places his hands on the sides of my face.

"So what? you thought I wouldn't find out? You thought we'd live a lie forever amen?" I gaze into his eyes.

"I don't know what I was thinking, I just liked how everything was going," he admits.

"Well I don't, I'm sorry but I can't be with you, the things we've been through can not be buried or forgotten, I can never be happy with someone who've hurt me more than two times, I don't hate myself that much," I step out of his touch.

"I understand." He utters softly.

I raise an eyebrow.

"You understand?" I'm confused.

"Yeah, I expected it, I've been expecting it since three years ago, I've hurt you countless times and I know I don't deserve your forgiveness. Cass was right, you deserve to find happiness and I'm never going to give you that and to make things easier for you, I'll move out and I'll transfer," he tells me.

I know he feels guilty and he tries so hard not to live a happy life and he lets that night define his entire existence.

"I don't want you to do that to yourself anymore," I say.

"Do what?"

"Beat yourself up for what happened?" I clarify, "I know you're broken and you tell yourself that you don't deserve to smile or laugh but that's not solving anything is it? Besides, I want you to smile, it's the best thing about you, your smile is everything and I know the next girl is gonna want to see it everyday,"

"Olivia, I know you'll probably never forgive me but-"

"I forgive you." I cut him off, "There's a difference between forgiving you and wanting to be with you and I choose to forgive you cause if I be with you then I'll let the lies lead our relationship, there's just no way I'm not going to be able to look at you and not think about what you did to me," I say honestly.

"I understand," he nods in understanding.

This is my cue to leave but I can't, I can't stop staring at him, I can't stop wishing that I could just forgive him and forget everything that's happened between us so we could start over but I know it's always going to be something with him so I have to let go.

My happiness is where he isn't.

He cautiously steps towards me and slowly wraps his arms around me, I don't hug him back but I inhale him.

My heart feels like it's going to explode and make me feel every second of that explosion but maybe I wouldn't be feeling this much pain if I just cried already.

"Thank you," he whispers beside my ear,  I hate how his breath feels when it hits my skin so I pull away and I avoid eye contact.

"Bye." I say as I quickly rush out of his apartment.

As soon as I reach the hallway, I stare at my apartment door, I know Myra and Izzy are waiting for me to walk in and tell them what I found but I don't really feel like talking about it so I start walking down the hallway.

My throat keeps closing up, my breaths becoming shallow each second and I feel like the walls around me are drawing closer and closer.

Maybe I'm having a panic attack or maybe that's just what heartbreak does to people. I don't know which is which but it hurts like a motherfucker.

Just cry already!

I take in deep breaths when I make it outside the apartment building, people walking by the sidewalk give me concerned looks but I don't care.

Everything is spinning and so not making sense to me right now.

I pull out my phone from my back pocket and I dial Cassandra's number, I don't know why but I feel like she's the only one I can really talk to.

"Olivia." She answers, which tells me that she saved my number.

"Hey,"

"Shit, you sound sad,"

"Yeah, I uh... I just broke up with Jace,"

"I'm guessing you found something?"

"I found everything,"

"Okay, did your heart want you to dump him?"

"No, my heart wanted me to stay, it wanted me to hug him and tell him that it was okay but it's not and my mind's smarter so I went with that,"

"Yeah," she lets out a laugh like she can relate.

"I still love him though and it hurts so much,"

"You fell in love with the same person twice, that's twice the heartbreak, I can't even begin to imagine the kind of pain you're going through right now but tell you what? You'll either grow to forgive Jace because trust me, he's an asshole but he loves you in his own fucked up way or you'll meet someone different and that person will bring color to your world again but either way, you're going to be okay, trust me." She says and I believe her.

I'm going to be okay.

I repeat the words again and again in my head until they stick, until I picture them before my eyes, until I picture that time when I'll say the words I'm okay and really mean them.

The fact that that day is so far away and so out of reach breaks my heart, it makes me cry.

The crying makes everything hurt even more.

"Can I call you from time to time?"  I ask her through my hard crying.

"I'd love that very much."  She sounds like she's smiling.

I hang up and I stifle my cries.

I'll be okay.

The End.

A\N: I know, I know, that is not a good way to end a story but put yourself in the girl's shoes, there was just no way to redeem Jace for what he did, I mean I tried but nothing was making sense.

If you have any questions, please, I'm all ears.

Cassandra and Damien shippers gather here, your time has arrived. You have been asking and I'm finally responding. This one is gonna be a little bit different, the story is called Hearts of Ruin. It's got everything, we're talking guns, assassins, enemies to lovers, marriage of convenience, slow burn, betrayal, mobsters, twists and a whole lot of hate sex. It's definitely darker and maybe I might publish the first chapter next week, no promises.

Love you guys♥️💕