Three years ago

Jace's POV.

"And then she just ignored me in front of this dude." I pass the vape pen back to her while I exhale smoke.

Cass and I drove straight to her house after we ditched class, she has a flat screen tv in her room, hence why we're sitting down on her pink carpet, leaning our backs against her bed and switching between Netflix and video games since we got here but the movie she picked is kinda boring us out so now I'm telling her about the hallway thing while we vape.

"So what's the problem? She already told you she didn't want people's attention at school." She grabs the bowl full of popcorn, takes a handful and shoves it into her mouth.

"The problem is that she was flirting with this dude." I complain.

"Or they were just talking?" She squints her eyes at me.

"No, she was giving him those googly eyes." I point to my own eyes.

"Or maybe she was just amused by whatever the guy was talking about." Cass says suggestively.

"You weren't even there." I shake my head.

"Jace, what are you accusing this girl of?" She leans her head back against the edge of her bed.

"I'm not accusing her of anything, I just hate how she ignored me, I hate that I can't laugh with her in front of everyone or kiss her." I say honestly.

"The same way she hates how you're pretending to be with me." She says, I twist my head to look at her over my shoulder, she's already looking at me. I also lean my head back against her bed, meeting her eyes.

"You don't know that."

"I do. She's not cool with it, Jace, she's not cool with it and deep down, you know it." She says.

She's right, Olivia was never cool with it, I just told myself that she was, infact, I wanted her to be cool with it.

I sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

"Am I making a mistake?" I ask.

"What'd you mean?" She questions.

"Never mind." I rub my forehead.

"Don't second guess your relationship just because she ignored you once, you like her, focus on that." She pats my shoulder.

I do like Olivia, I like Olivia so much it's hard to concentrate on anything else sometimes but I can't help but feel like my relationship with Olivia is missing something, I don't know what it is but I can feel it's absence.

"I don't know how to have sex with her without thinking about what happened last time." I admit to Cass.

"What happened last time?" She lets out a small laugh.

"I didn't know she was a virgin, I mean, she didn't tell me so I didn't do it the way.... You know." I don't know how to let the words out.

"How rough were you?" She gives me her full attention, placing her elbow on her bed and letting her hand support the side of her head.

"So very rough." I shut my eyes in regret.

"That must have sucked." She mumbles.

"She wants us to try again but I don't think I'm ready." I stare at her, "Wait, do you think that's why she's mad at me? Cause I don't wanna have sex?" I raise my brows.

"I don't think she's mad at you, you're just overreacting." She rolls her blue eyes.

I feel like I'm gonna go crazy thinking about this stuff.

"Let's talk about something else before I lose my shit."

"Okay, what do you wanna talk about?" She asks.

I turn to her, mimicking her posture.

"What was the darkest moment of your life?" I start there, she stares at my face, her pink lips twitching to the side.

"You're gonna judge." She glides a hand through her golden hair.

"Never." I stare at her features as she glances down at her lap and bites on her thumbnail.

"Last year." She starts, hesitantly. "When I was sleeping around with every twenty-something year old man and woman." She tells me, her eyes darting to my face in order to catch my reaction but it's not the reaction she expects, my reaction is a smile and I don't even know why I'm smiling.

"Why?" A laugh rumbles my chest.

"I thought it was a way to flip off my parents but then I realized that I was only hurting myself cause those people were only interested in sleeping with me in the dark and leaving early before sunrise." She explains, looking a little embarrassed.

"What made you stop." My eyes search hers.

"I looked in the mirror and I cried and I told myself I deserved better." She forces a smile.

"Aww." I teasingly brush my fingers along her cheek.

"Your turn." She shoves my hand away.

I go silent, my mind reminding me of all the shit I've been through, all the fucking mistakes I've made, I honestly don't want Cass to judge me either but she just told me something that she clearly hasn't talked about with a lot of people.

"I once called my mom a whore for fucking my school principal." I tell her.

"Nooo!" She widens her eyes at me.

"Yes." I nod.

"Dude!" She slaps my shoulder.

"I regret it every day and I'll probably never forgive myself for that one." I huff, she shakes her head at me disappointedly.

We both go silent, it's the most comfortable silence that I've ever experienced.

"Is it normal to be this tired at our age?" She asks me and I smile because I've always asked myself the same goddamn question.

"I don't know but I'm sick of constantly being fucked by life, at this point, I want the fucking apocalypse to just happen already." I say and she giggles.

"You read my mind." She turns her head to look at the TV screen, I keep my eyes glued to the side of her face, watching her in admiration.

She's a pretty girl and she deserves happiness, I don't know who she's gonna end up with in life but he or she is gonna be one lucky person.

I'm suddenly reminded of my ex's words about Cass being way out of my league, I wonder if Cass thinks the same way she does.

"Cass, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." She beams excitedly.

"If Olivia hadn't been in the picture, would you have ever considered dating me?" I ask. She laughs, amusement rioting in her eyes.

"Have you ever had a crush on a friend but told yourself that you couldn't be with them because your friendship was way too precious to ruin?" She asks me.

"Nope." I shake my head, she grins.

"Well, I probably shouldn't be the one to tell you this but you're in that situation with me right now." She informs.

I laugh, "You think I have a crush on you?"

"C'mon, man, it's not rocket science." Her eyes dance with amusement.

"I think I'd know if I did." I narrow my eyes at her.

"Jace, you're pretending to be in a relationship with me while you're in a real relationship and you ditched class with me and-"

"And I struck your ex's million dollar car and went to jail without giving a shit." I finish her sentence, "I'd do that for any of my friends." I point out.

"Okay but are you putting Olivia first? Are you considering her feelings while you make all these stupid decisions?" She debates.

"Yeah, we talked about it." I answer.

"Did you ask her or did you inform her?" She queries.

"Where are you going with this?" I chuckle, finding this entire conversation ridiculous.

She holds my gaze, her eyes bouncing between my eyes and my lips, she brings her small hand to the side of my face, her gaze turning intense then she starts leaning in.

I hold my breath, staring at her parted lips as she comes closer and closer and when she gets close enough for me to taste her breath, she pauses, dropping her hand from my face and shooting her brows up in questioning.

That is when I realize what was about to happen.

"Shit." I blink twice, reality slapping me in the face.

"Yeah." She leans back, stuffing popcorn in her mouth and looking unbothered by it all.

Fucking hell, I like her.

I like her in that way.

How's that even possible?

I swear on my life, I like Olivia more than I like myself.

"And you?" I tilt her chin, bringing her attention back to me. "Do you-"

"No." She quickly cuts me off.

"Lies." I stare at her face.

"Jace, I've never had a friendship like this one, the only loyal friend I've ever had was my brother Luke but even he became a stranger at some point and I really don't want you to become a stranger. please, don't ruin this for me?" She requests.

"Understood but what am I supposed to do about all this?" I emphasize.

"The only thing we can do." She says, I wait for her to suggest something but she doesn't add anything to her sentence which makes me realize exactly what she's suggesting.

"You're breaking up with me?" I raise my voice in shock.

"Not only that, but you also have to distance yourself from me." She gets up and starts walking towards her closet, I also bring myself to my feet, following her.

"What the fuck? What happened to not becoming a stranger?" I walk into the closet after her.

"We're not going to become strangers, we'll hang out but not with each other, I'll be there when Diego and Blair are there." She kneels down in front of her fancy drawers and starts searching for something.

"Cass, I don't think-"

"Your ideas are trash so stop thinking and just agree with me, we're doing this for you and that girl that's so in love with your dumb ass." She says, keeping herself busy.

"Yeah I get that but why do I feel like I'm being robbed?" I ask, she pauses, looking up at me.

"Robbed?" She snorts.

"Yes, robbed, I like hanging out with you, I admit that maybe I have developed some... feels but we're just friends, I will never touch you as long as I'm in a relationship with Liv and I definitely won't touch you if you don't want me to." I assure her.

She sighs, standing up and crossing her hands over her chest.

"I believe you but there can be some situations where we're both drunk and stuff just happens." She says in a soft whisper, I know she's right yet again but I won't admit it.

"That's not true, remember the last time we were in this room together? We were drunk as fuck but all you did was take off my shoes." I remind her, she laughs, shaking her head at me and looking to her side.

"Jace, I'm not arguing with you about this." She whines, throwing her head back.

"Okay, fine but give me one more night." I cup the back of her neck, making her look at me.

"One more night for what?" Her forehead creases.

"To have fun with you." I say.

"I'm not sleeping with you, you pervert." She shoves my chest.

"Shut up, I mean go out and be crazy not bump uglies." I chuckle, she pulls her lower lip between her perfect white teeth, contemplating.

Suddenly, my mind is wondering how soft that lip is and I wanna punch myself in the face cause what the actual fuck?

"I don't know." She sounds doubtful.

"Please? Just one night." I plead, she lets out a defeated sigh.

"Okay but after tonight, we're announcing our break up to the world." She declares, going back to searching through her drawers.

"The thirteen year olds are gonna be devastated." I say sarcastically and she bursts out laughing, which makes me smile.