Present Day.

Olivia's POV.

Ryder.

Ryder.

Ryder.

Ryder.

That name keeps whispering itself in my ear over and over again, not because I'm drunk, no, I had two bottles of beer and then I stopped drinking cause I didn't feel like swallowing anything, I felt like vomiting, I was so sick with myself.

Literally.

I walk back to my apartment building in the rain, it's kinda funny how people will look at you when you walk casually while it's raining.

I'm not depressed, people, I promise.

I push through the heavy doors of the building, sighing at the sight of the stairs, I start climbing them, one step at a time.

I'm soaking wet, my chest hurts so bad and thoughts about my past self won't leave me the hell alone.

I reach my apartment door, turning the knob and slamming my body against the door but it doesn't budge, I check underneath the mat for the spare key but I don't find it.

"You've got to be fucking shitting me." I grit out.

I hear the door behind me open and I rest my forehead against my door, cursing under my breath.

"Hey, they went out in a hurry, something about a frat party." He informs me, it takes all the will power in my bones for me to finally turn around and face him.

"Yeah, no shit." I respond, striding towards him and entering his apartment without his invitation.

Don't judge me, he was gonna give me one anyway.

"Can I use your shower?" I ask, casually, like he didn't see me half naked just last night.

"Uhm, yeah, this way." He leads the way to his bathroom, he opens the door for me and I walk in.

"And I'm gonna have to borrow your clothes, not like a full outfit cause I'm gonna go home pretty soon, just a sweatshirt and a..." I awkwardly clear my throat, "A pair of boxers." I say randomly which I now realize that sounded pretty specific.

I bite the inside of my lower lip, intentionally slapping myself across the face as he blinks twice, a small amused smile playing on his lips.

"I'd be happy to share my underwear with you, Liv, yeah, I love that we're the kind of neighbors that share-"

"Shut up, man, don't make it awkward." I shut my eyes, cringing myself to death, he laughs, a genuine, deep, warm laugh that gives me butterflies.

"Coming right up." He says like it's a lunch order before strolling to his room.

I close the door, looking around his uneventful bathroom.

Men.

A few minutes later, I hear a light knock on the bathroom door, I smile, I don't even know why but the smile is so big it doesn't go away even after I open the door and take the clothes from his hands.

"Enjoy." He says.

I laugh, "The clothes or the shower?"

"Both, I guess." He scratches his head and slowly walks away.

I close the door again, stretching the grey KVU University sweatshirt and his black boxer briefs.

I snort a laugh then cover my mouth with the palm of my hand.

I can't believe I just asked a guy for his boxers, that's insane.

"Who am I?" I playfully whisper to myself.

I strip out of my soaked clothes, taking the longest hot shower in history.

I put on his clothes, loving how his sweatshirt smells so much like him.

I throw my wet clothes in his laundry basket before joining him in the living room, on his couch where he's watching the Netflix series Money Heist.

"Spoiler alert, very likable characters die." I plop down next to him.

"It wouldn't be very realistic if there weren't major deaths." He says.

"Yeah, but the ones in this one were too brutal." I sigh, remembering how hard I cried during the final season.

"Have you seen the last season of Game of thrones?" He asks to prove a point.

"Yeah, I thought it was fair, the dragon bitch had to die and he was the perfect guy for the job." I yawn.

"Nah, you did not just say that." He sounds offended but then he laughs.

I love that he's laughing.

"It's my opinion, don't come at me." I shrug, he shakes his head at me.

We both go silent, which makes the air a little thicker and awkward now.

I cross my legs on his coffee table, sinking into the couch.

"I'm sorry about last night," he breaks the silence, "I shouldn't have left like that and-" he pauses and I feel his gaze on the side of my face, "it's not like I didn't want to." He says, which tells me that my stupid friends might have confronted him about this.

I turn my face to him.

"No?" I try not to seem embarrassed.

"Of course not, look at you, you're a walking temptation." His eyes travel down then back up my body.

I swallow, pinching my side to make sure I'm not dreaming.

I'm not.

"Am... I?" I stutter.

"Yeah." He tucks my damp hair behind my ear, making me shiver.

"So why couldn't you?" I whisper, staring at his masculine pretty face.

He looks at the television again, I almost think that he's not gonna respond but he proves me wrong when he clears his throat and starts talking.

"I don't know, sometimes my heart and my brain don't agree on the same stuff, it's like having a demon and an Angel on both your shoulders." He says, his eyes still glued to the TV.

"I get that but who's winning?" I ask curiously.

He snaps his head back to me, staring at my face like he wants to keep a clear picture of it in his head.

"You." He responds, I draw my brows together in confusion, "I know, you're not even in the middle of it but you're somehow winning." He says.

I grab his large hand in mine, entwining our fingers and smiling at the fact that he doesn't retreat.

"So let me win, Jace, stop fighting it." I tell him, he brings my hand to his lips, planting a soft kiss that has me hitching my breath.

"Tell me you don't hate me." He whispers against my hand.

"What?" I squint my eyes at him.

"Tell me you don't hate me." He repeats, looking into my eyes this time.

"For what? Why do you think I hate you?" I question.

"I don't know, I just do, Maybe you do." He draws invisible circles on the back of my hand.

"I don't hate you, Jace, I tried to hate you this morning but look at me, I'm in your apartment, wearing your clothes and binge watching with you." I point out, "And I can't stop wishing that you would just get over your demons and give in to whatever this is." I fly my index finger between us.

He stares into my eyes, not responding, not reacting, just staring. This is how I know that he's fighting with his demons again, the voices in his head whispering their approvals and disapprovals.

"Come here." He manhandles me onto his lap, his eyes darting to the sweatshirt I'm wearing, he curls his hands into fists on my sides, almost like he's afraid to touch me.

"Go on, take it off." I dare.

He grabs the hem of the sweatshirt, slowly lifting it over my head and staring at my chest with desire, he runs a hand along his jaw, drinking me in with that intoxicating gaze.

I grab his face and I crash my lips on his, his lips suck on my lower lip, diving his tongue in my mouth, twirling it with my own, he stand up with me wrapped around him, walking us to his bedroom.

We get onto his bedroom and he throws me on his bed, climbing on top of me and kissing me so hard my lips feel bruised.

"Miss Rollins lives right nextdoor," he says breathlessly, taking his shirt off with one hand.

"So?" I scoff, biting my lip at the sight of his abs.

Hot damn.

"Promise you'll be quiet?" He hovers above my body, I playfully roll my eyes, biting down my smile and nodding off.

He kisses me again, I inhale him, letting myself enjoy the wet glide of his tongue, the manly grip on my breast and those fucking moans that make me whimper.

I pull him closer, our kissing and touching intensing each second, building up a strong arousal.

"Fuck me." I beg, literally.

He smiles against my mouth, chuckles even, he pecks my lips before breaking the kiss to open his nightstand drawer, taking out a condom.

"May I?" I prop myself up on my elbows, staring at the condom in his hand, he responds by extending the rubber to me.

I sit up, kneeling in front of him, pushing my hair behind my shoulder while he stands and strips down his shorts together with his briefs, I raise a brow at the sight of his erect dick.

It's huge, smooth, beautiful pink tip, veiny and so hard for me.

I wanna wrap my mouth around it but not right now, right now I want it inside me.

I move to the edge of his bed, where he's standing, I close my fist around it, stroking him, wiping precum from the tip with my thumb, he blows out a breath, looking tense.

I finally open the condom with my teeth while keeping eye contact, I slide it on him and I lay back down, he grabs the hem of the boxers I'm wearing, sliding them off me and spreading my legs.

"Fuck." He comes down on top of me, lining himself up, driving inside me, kissing me and going slow, letting me adjust to him.

He snakes his arm around me and flips us over, letting me take over on top of him, I give him a questionable look cause that was so random.

"I wanna watch you." He rasps, answering my thoughts.

I place my hands on his thighs behind me, lifting myself up and down his length, exploring, finding a spot that feels good.

I throw my head back, feeling full. He's so deep I can feel him in my stomach, he adds more pressure by stroking my clit with his thumb, my lips part and I release a gasp, my body heating up with a sweet pleasurable sensation.

I swear to God having this guy inside me beats having ice cream for dinner and I love having ice cream for dinner.

Damn.

I ride him at a slow pace so I don't scream like a little bitch but I can't help but let out a couple moans and he's not calling me out on it.

I move my hands to his chest, moving in a front and back motion while gazing into his eyes.

I lean down for a dirty wet kiss, he wraps his arm around my waist and takes over from below, meeting me with one hard thrust, I scream.

He captures my lips in order to shut me up and he begins to pound into me so hard the bed rattles.

"Oh, fuck." I speak into his mouth before digging my teeth onto his lower lip, he growls, grasping my throat and peeling our mouths apart, as soon as our lips part, I release the moans I was holding in.

"Behave." His lips ghost against mine, making me crave his mouth.

I kiss his mouth and meet his thrust with a desperate need to come, he squeezes my hips and groans.

"Jace?" I bury my face in his neck, whispering against his star tattoo.

"Liv." He responds breathlessly, fucking me deeper.

"I'm coming." I push myself down harder.

"Good girl, let me feel your come all over me." He says right beside my ear.

"Holy shit." I muffle my cries by pressing my lips against his, clenching my legs on his sides. The orgasm rips through me so hard my entire body quakes on top of him, he brings his hand to my clit which is very sensitive and he rubs me, sending the aftershocks of my orgasm, I scream his name and he groans, also hitting climax.

Fuck, his face looks so beautiful when he comes.

He grabs me by the back of my neck and pulls me to his lips, kissing me so good I feel like going at it again.

What is this?