Three years ago.

Jace's POV.

I'm locked inside Olivia's bathroom, my eyes haven't left my reflection in the mirror and a part of me wants to punch through the glass. I don't know what I'm doing in here, I should be on my way home.

I decided to come in here right after she told me it was her first time, I mean, I don't get it, she told me her boyfriend was her first time but even if she hadn't, why wouldn't she just tell me the goddamn truth?

Breaking someone's virginity isn't something I do on a Sunday night, there's a reason why I don't associate with virgins, the last virgin I was with was Sandra and that was my first time too and it was absolutely stressful, I thought I was hurting her the entire time regardless of her constantly telling me she was fine.

And because I didn't know Liv was a virgin, I went at her like an animal thinking that she...... Hell, I can't even bring myself to say it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." I rub the side of my face, guilt swimming in the pit of my chest, killing me over and over again.

I finally gain the courage to get out of the bathroom, back to her room.

She's now sitting up, leaning her back against the headboard, holding her white covers close to her chest.

I noticed that she wiped her cheeks as soon as I walked in which tells me that she had been crying.

I don't know if she's crying because I hurt her or because she lied to me, I'd really like to know but I don't ask.

"Jace-"

"Did I hurt you?" I cut in, grabbing my jeans from the floor and slipping them on, she watches me.

"I'm fine." She lies.

"Olivia, I'm fucking serious, this isn't a fucking game." I try not to snap.

"I'm fine, I'm okay, it was just... a little... uncomfortable but I'll... be fine." She stutters, I shake my head at her, feeling a little disappointed.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" I ask as I put on my shirt and hoodie.

"I don't know." Her voice sounds hoarse and calm, so fucking calm it pisses me off.

"No, Liv, don't do that, don't act like it's not a big deal-"

"It's really not." She assures me, making it sound like I'm being ridiculous.

"Dude." I clench my teeth, ready to snap.

"It's not a big deal, Jace, Jesus Christ, just drop it already, it's done!" She grides a hand through her hair.

"How..." I pause, breathing through my nose and looking elsewhere for a brief moment, "Why didn't you ever have sex with that Tristan guy?" I ask curiously.

"Are you saying I should have had sex with him so I could later do it with you?" She asks, annalizing the sentence with her hand.

"You know what I mean." I roll my eyes at her.

"Tristan and I never believed in sex before marriage, you know, Christians and all." She responds but I can't tell if it's sarcasm.

"What changed?" I question.

"I don't know, I felt like I was ready, it felt right and it was..." she hesitates, snatching her eyes away from me. " It was with you." She lets out, her face clouding with shame.

Something about this entire situation makes me wanna run out of this house and get a restraining order against her.

Go on, Jace, get far away from this fan girl before it's too late, she might murder your future wife and boil your future little babies alive, she's starting to look the part.

But then again what if she's the future wife and mother of the babies?

Still drunk, eh?

"You know, I don't think I've ever met someone who excites me and scares me at the same time." I tell her what I'm thinking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She holds the covers tighter against her chest.

"It means you're obsessed with me and it's starting to freak me the fuck out." I say truthfully, it might sting her feelings a little bit but at least it's now out there.

"I can see why you would think that." She nods in understanding, "Finally got your quick fuck though, huh?" I don't know if that's supposed to be a joke but I take it as one.

"Yeah, Liv, I finally got my quick fuck," I respond with a little hint of sarcasm, she smears a small, weak smile.

"Being a virgin in high school, at this age, in this century, is like having leprosy in the Bible or being a zombie during a zombie apocalypse in a movie. People segregate you, they shame you, they run, they look at you like you don't belong all the time and I thought you'd judge me so lying about it was easier." She explains.

It makes sense and she's right about the high school part but that still doesn't make it okay.

"I don't think I've ever judged someone for being a virgin, that's fucking ridiculous, it doesn't matter what people think about you, Liv, don't do something just because everyone else is doing it, most of these kids dodge pregnancies, abortions, STDs and STIs simply because of stupid luck, but trust me, one can never walk in another person's luck, just because your friend didn't get pregnant when her boyfriend's condom broke doesn't mean you won't, you actually might, you're not as lucky as they are, that's how these things work."

"I know that, No, I didn't know that but just... I'm really sorry." She huffs.

"I'm sorry too." I sigh, finally relaxing. "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" I ask again.

"Just a little bit but I'll be fine, I promise." She assures me but too late, my insides are jumping up and down again with the knowledge that I hurt her.

"Shit, fuck, man, I feel like shit." I groan, rubbing my forehead in frustration, "I have to go, okay?" I scratch the back of my head, barely looking at her.

"Okay." She whispers.

"You're good though, yeah?" I slip into my shoes.

"Yeah." She nods, showing me a smile to convince me she's good.

"Okay, see you around?" I walk backwards to the door, pointing at her, she responds with another nod and I turn around, swinging the door open and stepping out of her room.

See you around? Seriously, Jace?

I walk out of the house at the same time as Diego pulls up in the driveway.

I get in the car and he looks at me, expecting me to say something.

"So? did you guys talk it out?" He demands.

"Something like that." Is what I say.

Coward.

"Make up sex and all?" He playfully punches my shoulder.

"Just drive." I hiss at him.

"O-okay." He responds, drawing the O.

He drives me to my house in silence, I curse underneath my breath when he stops the car in front of my house and I spot my Mum sitting on the steps, probably waiting for me.

"See you tomorrow." I open the car door.

"Hey, man, do I have to check on Olivia?" He asks before I can close the door shut.

"Yeah, I think so." I shut the door before he responds.

I tuck my hands in my pockets as I walk up to my mum.

"What are you doing out here?" I start with that.

"Believe it or not but I was waiting for you." She doesn't sound pissed.

"Is it passed curfew?" I sit down next to her.

"No, just thought I'd wait." She smiles at me.

"Okay, you're being super weird today," I chuckle, it feels painful in my chest, like why am I over here laughing when she's probably crying herself to sleep because of that see you around bullshit that I spat out of my fucking mouth.

"You too." She brushes my curls from my eyes, "Talk to me." She orders.

"Mum?" I call.

"Yes?" She answers.

"I met a girl." I announce for the third time since she invented the family tradition.

"Seriously? Aaron literally said that same sentence to me this morning." She's annoyed.

"Aaron says that to you every week." I point out.

"I know, I literally get nightmares about it." She shakes her head, "Who is this girl?" She questions.

"It's Olivia." I smile but my smile hurts, I can't stop thinking about what I did and said and the aftermath of it all.

"Now that, I approve of." She pats my shoulder.

"Yeah but it's so much more complicated than you think." I pinch the bridge of my nose.

"Why? What did you do?" Panic drips in her tone.

"Why do you think I did something?" I lift my shoulders in defense.

"Because you're you, you're always doing something." She says in an obvious tone.

"Jesus, Ma, that's brutal." I place my hand over my chest, mimicking a broken heart.

"Jay, what did you do?" She asks.

"She lied to me, Ma, more than once and I don't think she likes me the way I want her to like me, I think she's just physically attracted to me." I explain.

"That's a shame, I really wanted her to be the one." She mumbles humorously, I smile. "Growing up, my Mum used to say that, you don't always need water to drown someone, people drown people, especially in relationships, if this girl is more into how you look than the real you then don't let her drown you, you're still so very young and there are a lot of girls out there who are willing to look passed your appearances, and you deserve that." She tells me, I nod in agreement.

As if you're even listening.

"Thanks, Ma." I ignore my inner voice, smiling at my mother, she ruffles my hair like I'm a toddler. "Stop." I push her hand away from my head and we spend the next hour talking about random stuff that will probably lead to us arguing.