The Revelation

 "I'M SO sorry, Tin. Our friendship is more important than your feelings towards me. I can't lose this friendship, Dustin... I can't lose my only best friend."

These are exact words pierced into my brain.

Paulit-ulit, padiin nang padiin, palalim nang palalim. 

"Let me admire you until my feelings fade..." I muttered at her but she shooked her head, crying.

"I-I can't. I'm sorry, Dustin. I can't hurt you furthermore."

I fell in love with her, but she didn't... It's an unrequited love. What we have is a platonic relationship.

Nagsisisi akong umamin pa.

But I've realized it's better to confess to receive the truth than to accept a lie.

At first, I desperately wanted her to be mine, but in the end, I finally understood why people only watch the moon from afar.

Because just like the moon, I will love her in silence—from a distance.

It's been a week, and today, the result of the DNA test will be released.

Hindi ko maiwasan na kabahan. Lalo na't hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin kung positibo ang magiging resulta ng DNA test.

Hindi na ako handa para makilala ang babaeng nabuntis ko.

I was heartbroken when I found out that Rara isn't the mother of Thunder. My heart collapsed, bleeding out from the fact that I used to be delusional.

Natatakot akong baka hindi ko matanggap ang babaeng tunay na hinahanap ko.

"Let's go. Nurse Eva already texted me. The result is already out," I said almost whispering because my parents are here.

Asherah glanced at me. "Talaga? Teka, magbibihis muna ako."

Hindi ko na siya napigilan nang tumayo siya. She hurriedly ran upstairs to change. Naiwan ako sa sala habang nakatingin sa akin ang bawat myembro ng pamilya ko.

"What?" I started.

"Are you going somewhere, Dustin? Isasama mo ba ang anak mo?" Dad asked.

I nodded.

"Yeah... J-Just somewhere fun," I fibbed.

Dad eyed me suspiciously.

"Okay. Drive safely. Bihisan mo ang anak mo't pawisan na kalalaro," wika niya.

I nodded quietly, carrying my son in my arms. Umakyat kami at pinalitan ko nga nang suot na damit si Thunder.

Natuon bigla ang mga mata ko sa maliit na flash drive na nasa maliit na kahon ng condom ko. This red flash drive was given by one of the naval architects I used to work with during the last two months of the vessel we built.

Binigay niya sa akin ito sa hindi maintindihan na dahilan. Hindi kami malapit sa isa't-isa pero alam nitong isa ako sa mga anak ng bise presidente ng bansa.

The only thing he said was 'take care'. So, maybe he meant to take good care of this flash drive I never try to open. May pumipigil kasi sa aking kung ano... Hindi ko na tuloy sinubukang buksan 'to.

"S-Sir?"

I glanced to my side and saw Asherah already changed her outfit with black jeans, tight black round neckline long sleeves, and her black ankle-closed shoes. Naka ponytail naman ang buhok niya.

"Yeah? Ready?"

She nodded.

"Then, let's go," I said.

Asherah adjusted the car seat for Thunder, securing him first before she got into the car. Our eyes met in the rearview mirror. She smiled at me—I looked away and started the car engine.

"Dada, saan tayo punta?" Thunder asked when we stopped at the gasoline station.

I glanced at him, smiling. "Mhmm. Sa hospital po,"

"Ano po gagawa natin doon po?"

My smile widened because of his cuteness.

"May kailangan kuhanin si Dada roon," sagot ko.

"Ah. Buy din tayo ice cream, Dada! Gusto ko eat 'yon, 'e."

Tumango agad ako habang nakangiti.

"Sure," wika ko.

We heard a knock, so we cut the conversation. I turned to the side and saw the gasoline boy standing on the side of my car, looking at us.

"Yeah? Are we done?" I asked, smiling a bit.

"Oo, Sir."

I handed my cash, "Here. Keep the change," I muttered and nodded at him.

Pinaandar ko na ang sasakyan paalis. Narinig kong pumalakpak ang anak ko sa likuran.

"Dada, you are so kind! I want to be kind like you when I grow up, Dada!" he said.

Napangiti ako roon. "You'll be kinder than me, Thunder."

He giggled. "I wish, Dada!"

I chuckled upon hearing his answer. Narinig ko rin ang tawa ni Asherah at ang hagikgik ng anak ko.

But then, I noticed a black car suspiciously going fast from our back. I slowed the speed of my driving, but the car behind us slowed down, too.

"Asherah," I called.

"Sir? Bakit po?"

My eyes lay on the side mirror, and I saw the other car's window slowly rolling down. Kumunot ang noo ko nang masilayan ang isang lalaking nakasalamin, banyaga at kalbo na nakatingin sa'kin.

"That car," I muttered without breaking our eye contact. "Parang sinusundan tayo," dagdag ko.

"Huh? Saan—Sir!"

"Fuck!" I let out a loud cuss and harshly tapped the break when the black car turned right in our direction, stopping our vehicle from moving.

Halos sumubsob na ako sa harapan kung hindi lang lumabas ang airbag ay nabasag na ang mukha ko sa manibela. Bahagya man nahihilo, nagawa ko pa rin lumingon sa likuran para tignan ang sitwasyon ng anak ko.

Namangha ako nang makitang nakaharang ang braso ni Asherah sa anak ko. Walang gasgas o kung anong sugat ang napala nila. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag.

"Are you okay? Damn that car!" I asked—my heart beating so fast.

"A-Ayos lang ako, Sir Dustin. Ikaw ba?"

"I'm okay," sagot ko.

"Dada, ano nangyari po?" Inosenteng tanong ng anak ko.

"Hindi ko rin alam, nak. Titignan ko," Lalabas sana ako nang may pumigil sa akin. I looked at Asherah in confusion.

"Don't go outside!" she suddenly yelled.

My lips parted upon her sudden change of tone.

"Bakit?! That goddamn car just almost hit us!"

Umiling siya sa akin. "Basta bawal kang bumaba! Dustin, let me drive! Lumipat ka sa backseat!" she said in a stern voice.

My jaw clenched. "Aba, duma-Dustin kana! Stop being bossy! Marunong ka ba mag drive? Wala sa itsura mo ang marunong—"

I gasped when she grabbed the collar of my shirt, forcing me to obey her. Asherah's eyes darkened.

"I'll drive," she ordered.

Gusto kong umiling pero biglang may apat na armadong lalaki ang biglang lumabas sa sasakyan. Namutla ako nang itutok nila sa direksyon namin ang mahahaba nilang baril.

"Faster, Dustin!" Asherah yelled at me as she pushed me harshly to the back.

Nagpaubaya ako—natatakot. Niyakap ko ang anak ko na inosenteng nakatingin sa akin—nagtataka.

Mabilis siyang pumalit sa pwesto ko kanina. My eyes widened when she pulled out a gold coloured gun from her legs.

Napamura ako at mas lalong dinaga ang dibdib ko nang buksan niya ng bahagya ang bintana at ilabas ang bibig ng baril.

"Asherah! You brought a gun?! What the heck!" I hollered, feeling so nervous.

She glanced at me, and her emotions nothing.

"Yes. I always bring my gun, Dustin."

"Ano bang nangyayari?! Bakit nila tayo hinarang?!" I asked angrily.

"They're after you," she said.

I gasped exaggeratedly. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako mas nagulat—nang nagsalita ba ng ingles si Asherah o noong malaman na ako pala ang pakay ng mga armadong lalaking 'to.

"What?! Me?!"

She nodded bravely.

"Oo, ikaw."

"Bakit ako? Hindi ko nga kilala ang mga 'yan!"

"The flash drive you carried home contained a list of illegal transactions from different countries, including the Philippines. It has a list of information about human trafficking, drug trade, smuggling weapons and illicit goods... They're going to exit the Philippines after getting the flash drive to you before going back to the US."

My lips tightened, and my jaw clenched. I was speechless.

Suddenly, there's a gunshot, and everyone ducks in fear. My pulse is beating in hysteria as if this is my last time on earth. Whoever these people are, they're going to kill me.

"Do you trust me?!" she suddenly asked.

I lift my head slightly. "Ano?"

She shoots me a glare, puffing air between her lips.

"Do you trust me?!"

I squeeze my eyes shut and calm my body, trying not to get paranoid.

"Fuck, yeah!"

I saw her grinning. "Good. Click the red button on Ashiro's car seat," she ordered.

I obeyed right away.

Napanganga ako nang makitang nagkaroon nang harang ang inuupuan ni Thunder—makapal na salamin 'yon na tumatakip mula sa ulo hanggang paa niya.

"That car seat is bulletproof," she said, making me look at her. "This car is bulletproof, too. I changed your car last week. Kamukhang-kamukha ng sasakyan mo ang pinalit ko para hindi mo mahalata na nabago,"

My eyes widened as another gunshot fired straightened up in my direction. Suminghap ako sa gulat nang hindi nga bumaon ang bala sa mismong salamin ng sasakyan. Nahulog ang bala, paniguradong sa sahig.

Sunod-sunod silang nagpatama ng baril pero hindi 'yon bumabaon sa sasakyan. Asherah started firing back. The opening of the window wasn't fully open, but that wasn't a hindrance for Asherah to shoot the two armed men in the hand, causing them to let go of the gun they were holding.

I feel like watching an action movie. Asherah is sitting in front of the passenger seat— I don't see her nervous or scared. She has this nonchalant expression on her face.

"Who are you?" I asked suddenly, feeling weak as I couldn't do anything to protect myself and my son... I am useless.

She glanced at me before looking away.

"I'm Asherah Zoleigh Royales," she answered as she started driving the car while still firing back.

My jaw clenched. "I know! Goddamn it! I'm asking, who are you? What's with the gun? Why are you protecting me—us?"

She ignored my question.

Mas lalo pang binilisan ni Asherah ang pagmamaneho, humawak na ako sa handle habang ang isang kamay ay nakayakap sa car seat ni Thunder. Hindi tumigil ang mga lalaki sa paghabol amin. Mas kinabahan ako dahil biglang dumilim, mukhang uulan pa.

"Asherah, sagutin mo ang tanong ko! Utang na loob naman!" I uttered desperately.

Silence filled the atmosphere for a moment before she broke it.

"I'm Officer Royales: A five-year Operations Officer. People also called us a special agent, secret agent, undercover agent or spy. I'm under the Central Intelligence Agency. And I'm on an undercover mission, and that's to protect you," she suddenly said.

Those words shocked me. Questions swim around my head, mandating to be answered with answers I don't know. A few minutes before, I broke the silence.

"I knew it. You lied to me," I felt rage dripping all over my body upon sinking everything. "You are a fucking liar! Nandito ka dahil kailangan mo, hindi dahil gusto mo! I am your mission, so you lied to me... You lied that you were the mother of my son."

Her eyes quickly glistened with anger.

"How could I supposed to tell you that I am an undercover agent? We have a protocol to obey! I can't tell you who I am! You don't know me yet, Mr. Altamirano. Marami ka pang hindi alam sa akin," sagot niya.

"Then, fucking tell me everything! I deserved to know it!"

She angrily faced me. "Then, shut the fuck up! Naririndi na ako sa 'yo kanina pa! Pasalamat ka at marunong ako magpigil—baka nasuntok na kita sa mukha! I will explain everything, okay?! And please, don't call me a liar 'cause I am not!" she retorts.

I become silent. Asherah shouted in my face, and it took me off guard. Fuck.

Nakatulog na ang anak ko kanina pa—panigurado dahil sa pagod. Hindi pa sumasapit ang gabi pero marami na ang nangyari sa araw na 'to.

Kinabig niya ang manibela kung saan. Palayo kami nang palayo, pawala nang pawala ang mga naglalakihang gusali. Lumilitaw na rin ang mga nagtataasang puno at mga bukid. Mukhang nasa labas na kami ng syudad.

"Where are we going?" kalmadong tanong ko.

"In my sanctuary,"

My eyes narrowed when we stopped outside an abandoned milktea shop. The paint on the pillar is old and peeled on some parts. The front door is full of dust and vandalism.

"Milktea shop? This is your haven?" I asked.

She hummed as an answer.

"I worked as a milktea shop crew for two months for a mission."

"What kind of mission?"

She smirked. "I won't say it because it was classified and confidential... But to give you an insight, a Hispanic-American group moved here in the Philippines and started supplying illegal drugs by injecting the drugs in tapioca pearls,"

"That's bullshit," I muttered.

"Obviously," she made a face.

I detached the car seat since Thunder was still sleeping. We walked inside the shop, feeling the distance between us.

Kung gaano kagulo ang sa labas, siya namang ayos nang loob. Everything was shiny and neat. I was amazed after noticing the elevator. We entered the elevator, and after a minute, we arrived at our destination.

"The fuck?" I cussed upon stepping out of the elevator and finally saw the mystery inside the shop.

May mga shooting target boards na korteng tao na may numero sa ulo. Puti ang paligid at napakaraming iba't-ibang klase ng mga baril, rifles at iba pang armas na nakasabit sa dingding. May itim na safe box sa gilid at maliit na shelf sa pader. May itim na sofa, flat screen TV at mini kitchen pa.

"Welcome to my sanctuary,"

Humarap siya sa akin at may kung anong pait ang mga mata niya. Naglakad siya palapit sa dingding at kumuha ng isang maliit na baril. Lumapit siya sa shelf at kumuha ng ear protector na sinuot niya.

Nilagyan niya ang baril ng mga bala. Pagkatapos, umasinta na siya sa mga target. Medyo malayo ang distansya niya pero nang magsimula itong magpaputok ay higit akong namangha.

Ang hirap palang galitin ng babaeng 'to!

"How come you are a CIA agent? You don't look like a foreigner. You looked Filipino," I frankly said.

I don't know if she heard me but she chuckled.

"Because I am Filipino by blood, so does my ethnicity. I was born and raised here for two years until we migrated to the States. My dad is a US Navy Seal."

"What about your mother?"

"Wala akong nanay," she said. "Hindi ko siya kasama noong lumalaki ako. Nalaman ko na lang kung sino siya nang makilala ko ang kapatid ko. We have the same mother, but different father,"

Silence filled the atmosphere.

"I worked under the FBI as a special agent for three years. Five years later, I found myself working under the CIA as an operations officer. And here I am, working undercover. We have an inside pocket from our informant that a criminal group we have been working to catch came here in the Philippines.."

"But you can't join the FBI and CIA since you are not a US Citizen."

"Who said I am not? I am eligible to join the two departments since I have been a citizen of the US since I was five. Papa married a Caucasian, and that's how my citizenship was granted quickly."

Kanina pa ako busog na busog sa mga impormasyon na nalalaman ko... Hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa ba malaman ang siyang tanging hiling ko.

Napanganga ako nang makita ang resulta ng ginawang pagbaril ni Asherah. Every target she shot was a bull's eye. Halos hindi na nakatayo ang mga 'yon at umuusok pa ang bibig ng baril na ginamit niya.

Humarap siya sa akin pagkatapos. I saw her glance at my son. A small and painful smile drew on her lips.

"Dustin..." seryosong tawag niya sa pangalan ko. "I'm sorry,"

A tear fell from her eyes until it flowed down like a river. She cried while staring at me.

"Ashiro Thunder only existed because my sister stole your sperm four years ago..." she cried. "She stole your sperm just like what she did to my ovum."