One of her reasons

  TIME flies so fast. Another year has ended. It's already the first week of February, Ashiro Thunder's 4th birthday is coming. Isang taon na simula nang bumalik si Rara. But until now, I still don't know the main reasons why she disappeared.

Rara was acting as if nothing happened between us, which was so strange. Dapat tanda niya 'yon dahil ako ay medyo tanda ko pa.

Like what she promised to me, Rara stayed throughout the year.

Palagi na siyang nasa tabi ko, tumutulong sa pag-aalaga sa anak ko. Her father and her brothers treated my son as if they shared the same blood. Pangarap ko lang ito noon, iyong makasama ang ina ng anak ko at bumuo kami ng isang pamilya.

Even without confirmation coming from Rara, I already feel she is the one. She's the baby mama.

My dream bar launched five months ago, and I named it 'the anchor lounge'. I got the name from what my job symbolizes, and so does the tattoo on the back of my left arm.

It was already delayed when my son came into my life, and I am now fulfilling it.

Si Rara ang interior designer at si Dwight naman ang kinuha kong architect para sa aking bar. I don't know how they met for the discussion, but there were times when the three of us held a meeting at the mansion.

And yes, I'm aware that they have beef with each other because of me.

"Your brother hates me!" Rara lashed out and aggressively sat back from the sofa. "He cornered me outside the restroom! And guess what?! He told me, straight to my face, that he hates me because I left you!"

My lips parted as she complained frustratedly. I panicked when tears dropped from her magnificent eyes. Pinupunasan ko ang mga luha niya sa tuwing dumadaloy ang mga 'to.

"We were just best friends, 'di ba? Why does your brother talk as if we dated before?"

My heart was hurt after hearing her statement.

"We were best friends... we were like siblings, twins. The last time I wanted was to have someone hating me."

She cried even harder as I was focused on how my heart shattered in her every word. Indirect rejection hurts more, huh?

"Ang dami ko nang pinagdaanan sa nakalipas na dalawang taon. . . I can't even remember my last memories because I had partial amnesia-"

"What did you say?!"

Awtomatikong umahon ako mula sa pagkakaupo. She gasped when I shouted. Kinalma ko ang sarili at tumitig sa kaniya nang mas malalim, sinisisid ang mga iba't-ibang emosyon sa kaniyang mga mata.

"Ulitin mo ang sinabi mo, Rara," I demand authoritatively.

I saw how her lips quivered and the tears cascading from her eyes descend faster.

"I-I have amnesia, Tintin. . ." Her voice broke in painful cries. "Two years ago, something happened to me- I don't remember any of it anymore. Basta pumunta kami sa hospital na may mga alaala pa ako sa nakaraan, pero lumabas akong wala ni isa."

She looked at me, and our eyes met in a dramatic way. Parang bumagal ang paligid habang ang paningin ko'y nanlabo at tanging si Rara lamang ang malinaw sa akin. The oxygen in the living room thinned.

"I remember everything from my childhood and when we met, but what happened before your birthday came—I don't remember anything. I had partial amnesia and was diagnosed with PTSD. I got post-traumatic stress disorder because of what happened in the past, which got erased in my brain. I undergo several treatments such as councils with my therapist."

"Tangina," I cursed under my breath as I brushed my hair frustratedly. Nag-iinit na rin ang magkabilang gilid ng mga mata ko nalaman. "Tangina," another cussed slipped through my lips.

"You didn't tell me... all along, I was mad at you. I am fucking mad, Rara! I was waiting for you to say it, to explain something to me. You should've at least told me! You always have me, Rara!"

"I'm sorry..." She cried and reached for my hand, holding it firmly, I caved in. "I-I thought you didn't want to hear it. I was scared that my reason was too shallow for you to the point that you would not believe whatever I said—whatever I explained. So, I decided to hide it from you."

Umigting ang panga ko sa narinig. I suddenly felt whiplash, so I massaged my neck madly. Nakatuon pa rin sa kaniya ang mga mata ko, mas lumalim, nakakalunod. Her eyes, on the other hand were heavy and overflowing with emotions.

"Do you think I am shallow?! Rara, I fucking love you! We were best friends, remember? We don't lie to each other, we don't keep secrets from each other, we promise that," I said coldly.

"But you always ice me out. . ." her voice was full of disappointment.

I released an aggravated sigh.

"My feelings were valid. Iniwan mo ako, Rara. Rancor filled my heart, and that was my coping mechanism to ease the pain. Two years had passed without you, and I barely lived." punong-puno ng hinanakit ang boses ko.

My eyes heated up as tears clouded them, but I looked up, preventing them from dropping. Pinunasan ko na ito nang hindi naging epektibo. Rara threw herself at me, and my traitor body just welcomed her with a tight hug.

"Dustin, forgive me. . ." She cited my name with full of hope and pain.

Silence ate the atmosphere and the only thing that audible was our sniff and Rara's sobbed.

"Don't lie to me anymore, please," I whispered desperately. "Whatever you feel, tell me. You always have me, Rara. Nandito lang ako, hindi kita iiwan. I'll listen to you."

"I promised," she whispered as I kissed the top of her head, smelling the sweet strawberry vanilla and flowery smells of her hair.

I turned to my side when Rica, one of our maids, approached me. Sinimulan niyang maghugas ng mga plato habang bahagyang nakatuon sa akin ang katawan at ulo.

"Sir Dustin, may tanong po ako," aniya.

"Yeah?"

"Naniniwala ba kayo na dapat kayanin mo ang lahat ng sakit, selos, sama ng loob at tampo. Kahit may nagawang mali o ilang beses ka nang sinaktan ng taong mahal mo?"

Napakurap-kurap ako at bahagyang natigilan sa paghinga.

"Sir?"

"Why are you asking me?" I said coldly.

She shrugged, "Ikaw po ang nandito, 'e. Si sir Duke sana pero wala siya," paliwanag niya.

I sighed, "Fine, well, yes. But it doesn't mean I can't get mad at the person who hurt me. Whatever revenge nor exchange of my attitude, it's valid."

Napakamot 'to sa ulo. "Wala akong naintindihan basta masyado, sir, basta ang alam ko, mahal niyo pa," bulong niya.

"Excuse me?"

She snickered, shaking her head.

"Wala ho, sir! Hehe!"

Napailing na lang ako at iniwan siya roon. Umakyat na ako sa itaas para puntahan ang anak ko. I'm not scared anymore whenever I leave him inside our room because there's a CCTV camera on it, and it will alarm once Thunder cries.

"Dada, come here!" Thunder immediately yelled when he saw me.

Nasa kamay niya ang ipad habang nakasuot siya ng salamin sa mata, 'yon ang anti-radition glasses niya. Pinapasuot ko 'yon sa kaniya tuwing gagamit siya ng gadgets. It was recommended by his optamologist.

My left brow lifted. "I'm right here, bud. You don't have to yell,"

He gestured for me to come closer. "Looked at thi-sh, dada! Tata sent me this-sh! So cute!"

My forehead knotted. "She sent you what?"

Umupo ako sa katabi niyang upuan at hinarap naman niya sa akin ang ipad. A picture of a round cake is shown on the screen. The cake was light blue with the face of a cartoon character who looked like Thunder.

"Thi-sh is me, dada!" he exclaimed as his tiny finger was pointing at the cartoon character design on top of the cake.

"Wow, this is you? You are an adorable one. Did Tata really made this?"

"Yes, dada! Hihihi!" He let out a cute giggle.

Pinatakan ko ng halik ang matambok niyang pisngi. "Will she bring it later?" I asked myself before shaking my head. "Okay, bud, let me take you to sleep,"

"Sleep aku, dada?"

"Yes, superman. You need to take a nap first." Binuhat ko siya sa aking bisig habang ang ipad ay nilatag ko sa maliit na lamesa.

"Okay, dada! Sleep muna si Thunder!"

Napangiti ako habang nasa bisig ko siya, hinehele. This cute little boy is growing up. Ilang linggo na lang ay mag-aapat na taon na itong batang ito.

He's already attending kindergarten. It was owned by Auntie Hannah, she's Hazel and Haze's mom. Aside from being a dentist, she's also an owner of a small Academy for toddlers.

Saling-pusa lang doon ang anak ko pero palagi 'tong aktibo sa klase. Kung hindi ako, si Celine ang nagbabantay dito. Si Celine ay ang kasambahay nina ate Kelsea at Reeve, ang dalagang 'yon ay binabantayan din si Killian na kaklase ni Thunder.

On the other hand, Rara enrolled in a baking school, 10 months 'yon at tatlong beses sa isang linggo ang pasok niya. She's already an interior designer but she wasn't active in getting clients. My venture was her first project as an interior designer.

"You will be such a good mom one day," I praised her after Rara tucked my son into the bed to sleep.

Her eyes suddenly glistened with an unreadable emotion. Then, she hid her mouth by her hand, giggling lowly. My eyes felt warmth when I spotted the mini tattoos on her wrist.

"Who will look after him?"

My eyes laid on my son before it got back at her. I swiftly slid my hand into the pocket of my chinos. "My parents are here," I answered.

"Oh," tumango siya at ngumiti. "Then, let's go? Nasa ibaba na si Dawson,"

I couldn't help but snort when I heard her bodyguard's name. Hindi ko gusto ang lalaking 'yon-mayabang at tahimik masyado. Isang beses ko lang nakitang ngumiti 'yon, si Rara ang dahilan kaya mas umiinit ang dugo ko.

We headed to the anchor convoying. We are celebrating the first anniversary of my bar, and I invited everyone I know. Inimbitahan ko ang mga pinsan ko, kasamahan sa trabaho, ang mga kaibigan ko, at iba pang mga kakilala ko.

"Tangina, pre! Hanggang ngayon, gulat na gulat pa rin akong kaibigan mo si Rara, seryoso! Alam mong crush na crush ko siya pero noong ngayon ko lang nalaman na kakilala mo pala!"

"Makasarili yan, 'e!" nagtatampong nakisabay si Klinn.

Umiling ako habang nakangisi, nagsasalin ng panibagong alak sa baso. "Gago. Hindi naman kayo nagtatanong," sagot ko.

Umismid ang dalawa. Aba't talagang nagsanib pwersa sila. Sumisid ang mga mata ko sa dagat ng mga taong nagsasayawan- I saw Rara at the shore of the dance floor, yet that Dawson guy was on her side as if protecting her from the crowd.

I unconsciously scoffed.

"Selos na selos ka naman, pre, akala mo may karapatan," tumatawang pang-asar ni Jethro.

I could feel my eyes narrowing. Ignoring him, I raised my middle finger as an answer. Humagalpak si Klinn habang napalagok ng alak si Jethro.

"Gago, pre, nagbibiro lang 'e."

I just raised a brow at him. Nagpatuloy kami sa pag-iinom habang nakaabang sa pagbalik ni Rara sa lamesa. Wala sa mga pinsan ko ang dumalo... lahat sila ay abala sa iba't-ibang dahilan. Si Hazel nga ay nasa France para mag-attend ng isang fashion show.

"Alam mo, pre, seryosong usapan. Kilala mo na ba ang nanay ng inaanak ko?" Jethro asked in a serious matter.

I suddenly felt the heaviness in my chest. My breathing became unsteady when the images of my son asking me about his mother flashed in my mind. Damn it!

Tumingin ulit ako sa babaeng nakaluhod sa harapan ko. She looks helpless-with her dirty clothes and face full of tears, she looks the most miserable person.

Revenge. Vengeance. Make her suffer. That's what she deserves.

"You'll be my fucking whore. . ."

I muttered in gritted teeth.

Nakita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya sa sinabi ko. Namutla siya at mas lalong bumilis ang pagbuhos ng luha pero walang namutawi na ingay sa bibig niya. I just stared at her coldly.

"Take it or leave it?" I asked coldly.

Nanginig ang labi niya. "I-I'll do it. If that is the only choice I have to make to be with my son."

"Then, welcome to hell. . ." I said while smirking.

I walked away, gesturing to the guard to assist her inside the mansion. That girl. . . I will make her life miserable to the point that she will regret showing herself to me.

Hinarap ko siya nang papasukin na siya ng mayordoma sa mansion. Ayoko man, hinatid ko siya sa kwarto, I'm not that cruel to let her stay in the maid's quarter, but I let her stay in the guest room on the corner of the hallway. Hindi pa 'yon renovated at medyo luma na rin.

"Oh, before I forgot," I said coldly. "You're not allowed to call me by my name. You're only allowed to call me sir or boss," I declared.

Nakita ko ang paglunok niya.

"B-bakit bawal?"

"Because we're not close." I snapped. "You will be my son's nanny, and it's appropriate to call me sir or boss, especially if my family or friends are around. So, always addressed me with sir or boss unless I told you to call me Dustin."

"But I'm not just a normal nanny... I'm his mother-"

"Shut up!" I snapped. Her eyes fluttered wide. "You are not my son's mother, do you fucking understand?!"

Nakita ko na naman ang pagpatak ng luha niya ngunit mabilis niya 'yong pinunasan bago siya tumango sa akin.

"Naiintindihan ko," mababa ang boses niya.

"Mabuti naman," I whined and turned my back, but before I could take many steps-I faced her again. "What's your name again?"

"Asherah," she answered. "You can call me Rara."

My jaw tightened, "No fucking way. There's only one Rara, and she's my best friend. You are not Rara. Don't call yourself Rara. It doesn't suit you," I said angrily.

She swallowed. "Y-you can call me anything you like then."

I smirked without any humour. "Good. I'll call you Asher, then."