Chapter Twenty

Jane’s heart picked up in pace as she blinked a few times, hoping that what she was seeing was a dream.

“Janey,” said a familiar voice. Jane looked to her right to see her mother beaming at her. “You’re awake, darling; we’ve been so worried about you!” Catherine bent down to kiss her on the forehead.

“Mama,” Jane whispered, surprised to hear that her voice was so hoarse. “What happened to me?” Her head hurt. It was pounding, as if someone was screaming inside her skull.

Catherine frowned. “You don’t remember?”

Jane shook her head, which only made the pain worse. As she did though, she noticed a well dressed man standing on the other side of her. He was very handsome for an older gentleman, but Jane was much too young to be having such thoughts about men. He was staring at her intently, as if he cared ever so much. “Who are you?” she asked him.

His face dropped as she said the words. “You don’t know who I am?” he gasped.

Jane frowned. “Should I? Where is this place, why aren’t we at home?” she demanded to know.

“Janey,” Catherine said softly. “You were horse riding with Emilia, Kitty and Sabine and you fell and hit your head, you’ve been asleep for a little while ... are you saying you don’t remember any of this?”        

The names were completely foreign to Jane. She had never met anyone with those names. What was her mother talking about? “Mama, who are those people?” she asked slowly.

Catherine’s eyes welled up. “Oh, Janey ... darling, how old do you think you are?”

“Seventeen,” Jane answered immediately.

Catherine’s eyes dropped to the floor. “Janey, you’re three and twenty. Emilia is Sebastian’s wife and one of your closest friends, Kitty is your eldest niece and Sabine is Lord Southerby’s daughter. You and Lord Southerby are friends, dear, a little more than friends, I believe.”

Jane’s eyes widened as she stared at Daniel. It was obvious to her that he was handsome, but there had to be some mistake. She was seventeen; he was far too old to be courting her. As soon as that thought crossed her mind she realised that everything she knew was wrong. She wasn’t seventeen. Her mother had to be right as she would never lie.

“You don’t know me at all?” Lord Southerby asked softly.

Jane shook her head vigorously. “No, I’m sorry,” she replied quickly. Her hand reached up to the right side of her head which was the source of the pain. Instead of feeling her hair she felt a soft material. “I really did hit my head, didn’t I?” she asked her mother.

Catherine nodded sadly. “You did, darling. You’re really three and twenty and you know Lord Southerby here very well.”

Jane’s eyes flashed timidly to Lord Southerby. She didn’t feel three and twenty, she still felt like a frightened teenager. “Mama,” she whispered, though she was sure that Lord Southerby could hear her. “Did he compromise me?”

Catherine’s eyes widened as she gasped. “Good heavens, no,” she shook her head.

“Jane,” Lord Southerby said softly as he sat down beside her. “I know this is frightening for you. We were told by the doctor that you might not have your memory when you woke up, and so you don’t, but if you’ll allow me, I want to talk to you.”

Jane looked to her mother for permission.

Catherine rose from her seat quickly. “I’ll go let everyone know that you’re awake, I won’t be long.”

Catherine left the room and Jane realised she was alone with a man. She had lost six years of her life ... had morals changed so much in that time? Were young women allowed to be alone with men?

“You know me as ‘Daniel’, Jane,” Daniel began.

Jane sat up a little bit in the bed so that she was leaning against the headboard. “I know you by your first name?” she asked in disbelief.

Daniel nodded. “I can’t imagine what is going through your head right now. I can’t see how I’m a total stranger to you when this past month you’ve been my dearest friend.”

Jane studied the man, trying to find any trace of him that could trigger a memory. Surely they couldn’t be gone. Memories don’t just fall out of people’s heads. Daniel was very handsome; she could imagine him being quite a catch in social circles. “How did we meet?” she asked after awhile of silence.

“We met during your season in London,” Daniel replied simply.

Jane was taken by surprise. “London? What on earth was I doing in London?” She had never been farther than a mile from her home in Yorkshire. What reason would she have to be in London?

“You were visiting with Sebastian and Emilia and their five children,” he explained.

Jane raised her eyebrows. “Five?” she gasped. It hurt her that she had forgotten five children. “Wait, why does Sebastian live in London? He works as a solicitor in our town.”

“You don’t remember Sebastian inheriting Ethridge?” Daniel checked.

Jane shook her head. “What is Ethridge?”

“It was about five years ago, I believe,” Daniel recalled. “I remember it as the first piece of gossip flying around London when I arrived. Your brother inherited the earldom of Ethridge after Vincent Alcott died. Vincent Alcott was married to Miss Emilia Wentworth who later became the Countess of Ethridge for the second time. She and your brother have five children, including an heir and you love them all very much, you’ve told me so. James and Kitty are the eldest, then Little J who is named for you, Annie and baby Henry.”

Jane’s head hurt suddenly, and it wasn’t because of her injury. How could she have forgotten so much? These events were so memorable. They held huge significance to her family and it meant nothing to her. “How could I have forgotten so much?” she whispered.

“We can’t know what happened to your head when you hit it. Medicine can only do so much. All we can do is to tell you what you already know inside your head in hopes that you remember it,” Daniel told her tenderly.

Jane met his eyes and he was once again looking at her like he cared immensely. “How do you feel about me? You’re looking at me so ... gently.”

Daniel’s dark eyes suddenly became guarded. “You are important to me, Jane, you helped me so when I needed it. It is only right that I return the favour.”

Jane closed her eyes and went over the names that she had been told. Emilia. She searched her memories carefully but she could not find a face that matched the name. The last thing she remembered was a family dinner. Sebastian had come home from the practice and they were sitting down to eat. After that all she saw was darkness. Surely they couldn’t be gone.

At that moment the door to the bedchamber opened and a parade of people entered. A woman with blonde hair threw her arms around her neck. “Oh, Janey, you’re alright, thank God!” she exclaimed before kissing her cheek.

“Em, you didn’t give me a chance to fully explain,” Catherine panted at the door.

Jane watched as the blonde woman pulled back and looked at her intently. “Janey, what’s wrong?”

Jane looked around at all the children standing around her bed smiling at her. It was easy to tell which ones were Sebastian’s and his wife’s. The two eldest, the boy and the girl both had Sebastian’s hair and eyes. The next girl who was close in height to her sister was blonde with blue eyes. Jane presumed her to be Little J, the child that was named after her. The youngest was a toddler, who was the image of her mother with chocolate eyes and the same shade of golden hair. Her eyes eventually found her brother who was smiling with relief. He was holding a baby who shared his same colour hair. Standing next to Daniel was another blonde girl; however Jane knew she was Daniel’s daughter and not her brother’s. Her eyes filled with tears of sadness. They were all looking at her with such relief and love and she did not remember any of them.

“I don’t remember you,” Jane admitted to the blonde woman whom she assumed was Emilia.

Emilia backed off the bed in shock.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you. We need to send for the doctor,” Catherine urged.

Jane pursed her lips and looked down to her hands to avoid meeting the disappointed eyes that were all directed at her. She would give anything to remember them, they all loved her, it was obvious, but whatever part of her mind that contained her memories of them was blank.

“Everybody out,” Sebastian said. “Let’s give Aunt Jane a chance to rest.”

“But she’s been resting for ages, papa!” the eldest boy said. Light laughter filled the room and even Jane smiled. She remembered the name ‘James’ from Daniel’s tale. It occurred to her that he had been named after her late father.

“No arguments,” Emilia said quickly, keeping her cautious eyes on Jane. “Let’s go and see if Mr Short has laid out any teacakes in the drawing room, shall we?” she suggested and all of the children darted out of the room as fast as possible.

Jane’s eyes watched as Emilia, Sebastian and their baby departed the room. All who was left were Daniel and Catherine.   

“You don’t remember any of them, do you darling?” Catherine realised.

Jane shook her head. “I wish I did, I swear I do, but they’re strangers,” she whimpered as tears started to fill her eyes. “It’s like they know somebody who doesn’t exist. I have a hole in my head, mama.”

“We’ll fill it, dear, you needn’t worry. I’m sure once Dr Remington gets here he will tell you when your memories will return. Right now though,” she sighed as she walked over to the bed. She leant down and kissed her on the forehead. “You need to sleep. You’ve had an overwhelming day. Close your eyes and get some rest. We’ll wake you when the doctor arrives.”

Jane did just that. She closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.

When Daniel realised that Jane’s breaths were deep and even he looked up at Catherine. “What do we do?” he asked in a panicked voice.

Catherine shook her head. “I have no idea,” she whispered. “The likelihood that she’ll remember what she’s forgotten is practically nonexistent. There are people like Jane in those evil institutions, people that aren’t quite right in the head. If this gets out then someone might come to take her away to a hospital when you and I both know that it won’t be a hospital.”

Daniel’s eyes darkened as he looked at the peaceful Jane. “I won’t let that happen,” he swore to her. “Jane’s helped me become the man I want to be, I owe her everything, I won’t let anybody take her away.”

Catherine walked around the bed so that she could stand next to Daniel. “I know you’re not a doctor, but how likely do you think it is that her memories might come back? Have you ever seen anyone with his illness before?”

Daniel shook his head. “No, I haven’t. I don’t know if they’ll come back. I think I prepared myself for the worst, it’s my nature. All we can do is try to fill in the blanks for her. Tell her what’s been going on in the years she’s forgotten. We can hope, Mrs Alcott, there’s always hope that these sorts of things can be righted.”

“I pray you’re right, Lord Southerby, as I told you before, I never thought Janey could be tamed, I’m not about to go back to the beginning,” she smiled, shaking her head.

“May I tell you something about Jane?” Daniel asked.

Catherine nodded.

“On the day of the accident, I heard her telling Emilia that she ... loved me. If it means anything to you, I’m not prepared to let her forget that,” he said simply. He would do everything in his power to hear those words once more.

She looked toward her sleeping daughter with affection. “My little girl is in love. Well,” she sighed. “We must speak to Dr Remington, see what can be done to have her memory restored, and if not, then as you said, we shall have to tell her everything that she’s forgotten. I’m glad she had you, you are a good person, and Jane would never love someone who was not pure of heart.”

“Thank you, it’s nice to know that my potential mother – in – law approves of me.”

Catherine arched an eyebrow. “Not so hasty, young man,” she smiled. “Come, let us await Dr Remington’s arrival and leave Jane to dream in peach, who knows, perhaps she’ll remember something in slumber.”

“We can only hope,” Daniel sighed.

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